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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Carlzone

  1. I ate a german cake today. I have never eaten it before and I don't remember its name. It was really tasty alhamdolillah weshokorr. Well done, Germans.
  2. I don't drink "energy drinks" but I drink a healthy morning drink made of lemon, honey, hot water and currently beetroot juice too. I got the idea in 2015 when I was watching a doctor recommending antiacid foods etc. He recommended putting a little baking soda as well (but did not mention beetroot juice). I actually did that and it was unbelievable what results I got. I ate and excersized the same amount as previously but within a years time certain areas of my body became "hard" from all the muscles I built. I never imagined that that could even happen. Unfortunately I dropped eve
  3. Truth that harms is better than falsehood that brings joy. 

    Imam Ali (a.s.)

    Ghurar Al-Hikam, p. 244, h. 13

  4. You were making assumptions. Read your first post. And people are free to marry or not marry whoever they want. Everyone who enters a relationship is taking a risk of getting hurt. A breakup could happen at any point. If you're not able to handle that then you shouldn't be getting into any relationships or asking for anyone's hand in marriage.
  5. They are free to give you their advice. Haven't seen much of it so far though. If you have a problem and you keep using the same key, guess what, you won't solve the problem. You've already told us how badly things are going for your close ones so apparently what you are doing is not working out. Just try something different and check what will happen. InshaAllah you will get better results.
  6. Why? I'm curious. What makes them kuffar or misguided?
  7. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. This is severe abuse and it is very dangerous for your health and safety. How old are you? Do you have any good relatives or friends you can go stay/live with? Can you seek help from the community, like a sheikh who can talk to your parents? What they are doing to you is haram. They should love and protect you and not abuse you like that. As a last resort you can, if it gets really dangerous, live at a women's shelter. It's not a great thing but if necessary you have to protect your life, safety and health. And I want you t
  8. What if they follow our maraje3? Do we consider them like regular shias then?
  9. @Ruqaya101 Read what I wrote in the beginning of the thread. I didn't mention these things until I was questioned. I think it's sad if these sisters walk around thinking that there are no good Shia men. Because that is not true. There are plenty of great Shia men out there. But the sisters also need to understand that just like they have expectations from these guys - these guys have expectations from them. Therefore they need to get to know themselves better, understand what these men want from them, and if they think it's worth the effort - transform themselves in orde
  10. At least have the skills that a lion tamer has! No, actually. I'm so happy our paths crossed even though the separation was/is very painful. They are the best guys I have ever met and they give me hope about mankind. I'm impressed that there are people of this calibre left. And even though I dumped them I have nothing bad to say about them. MashaAllah, they are truly amazing human beings and I will always feel immense respect towards them.
  11. @Muhammed Ali People use words differently. It doesn't mean that they mean the same thing to two different people. You are making assumptions as to what I meant while you do not know the truth. I'm quite sure that's not very Islamic either. It is very difficult to dump someone, especially if you're in love with them. But it's better to dump them before marriage instead of getting a divorce later. That would cause them even more pain. Many people just go ahead and marry and all hell breaks loose later and both their lives are shattered, while others want to be 100% sure.
  12. I'm quite sure I've read a hadith that states that the beauty of a woman's faith should be valued over the beauty of her face. So it seems like men should follow this advice as well. Yet many don't and nobody complains about that. I know a man who was extremely picky when it came to looks. And after seeing I don't know how many women he picked the prettiest one according to him. He didn't care for anything else. And she picked him too only for his looks. And they are the most miserable couple I have ever met.
  13. Not possible, because then he wouldn't be my Mr right (or one of them because I don't believe there's only one). And besides, I've told them things way worse than this and that didn't make any difference. They are mature and can take it and actually respect different opinions even if they don't agree with them.
  14. Really? What if you know that this will annoy you in the relationship and that you won't be able to be as good a spouse as you could had you been completely happy with him? Would it be better to marry him and make him miserable in the long run? And what about all the brothers who reject sisters for not looking exactly like they want? Nobody says anything about that? Don't we all have the right to have personal preferences?
  15. I do compromise. A liiiittle. Honestly I was myself surprised how much I was willing to change/do for my exfiance. I was like "this is not like me". But there are things that I will not compromise on, even if they seem silly to others. The thing is - sometimes you discover things about yourself in the relationship that you did not know about yourself when you entered it and then you need to dump them because you know that in the long run you will not be happy in this relationship. So even if it's painful when both parties are in love with eachother to have to break up, it's
  16. I don't agree with you. And I think that this mentality actually limits your reality. And if your relatives and friends share it then their reality will be limited too. It makes me think of Surat Al Raad (13:11): "...Allah changeth not the condition of a folk until they (first) change that which is in their hearts..." I didn't say you have to be happy all the time. Just do your best to be happy as much as you can. I also said be honest, and genuine, which means that you will display all emotions on the spectrum whenever they arise. But aga
  17. This type of man that I'm talking about have had various ethnical backgrounds (European, Middle eastern, South East asian), so most likely they exist in all nationalities. But they are not like the average Joe. They can think outside the box and are not limited by culture. They have done great inner work and are conscious and self aware men. Oftentimes they have achieved great success in life and are prominent men. They are not afraid of your intelligence or when you question them. On the contrary, they will reevaluate themselves when questioned and instead of fearing you reaching a high posit
  18. Sis, there's a third category of truly amazing Shia men. If I hadn't met some of them myself I wouldn't have believed they existed. But they do. InshaAllah Allah SWT blesses your sister and the OP with such men!
  19. Of course. I believe I have 5-6 kg of various chocolates at home right now, if not more. There's no such thing as too much chocolate. I practice brutal honesty. There's no point in hiding stuff. Your partner will find out everything when you live together anyway. I actually even tell them my bad sides and biggest weaknesses. Better that they know what they are getting themselves into. My exfiance was addicted to coffee, while I avoid coffee and rather drink tea. Why would that be a problem? And my fiance before that was from a southeastern country where they eat spicey food. I
  20. Tada! Here it is: Seems like islam, just like the statistics I came across at the university, supports picking someone about the same age as oneself: "Does Islam focus on the sameness of age for a girl and a boy who wants to marry each other? Yes, being about the same age is one of the factors considered for matching of wife and the husband. Of course, girls naturally reach adolescence 4 years sooner than boys. This difference between men and women is natural and physiologic accordingly, it is focused in Islam that the spouse should be either of the same ag
  21. I don't remember. Most likely the U.S. or Europe as most studies we read were made there. But normally we were told about different patterns in other parts of the world, if such differences existed. I therefor expect the same pattern in the middle East. Also - I know that I have linked to Islamic literature that says that islamically we are recommended to marry someone about the same age as ourselves or for females (tops 4 years older). I'll try to find it and post it again InshaAllah. But first I'm gonna eat my chocolate cake and drink my tea.
  22. Oh, I thought you were stressed about your age. But of course you can meet the right guy at any point of time. InshaAllah it happens soon for you as you're afraid of commiting haram. It's great that you're doing your part. Leave the rest with Allah SWT. Personally I'm not so sure about marrying 8-9 years older men being a good thing. But that is because I came across marriage statistics during my university studies and apparently the marriages that last the longest are those closest in age. Of course there are exceptions but in general this is the case. Also, the older a coup
  23. I don't understand why you can't mention why this person can't get out of this situation? Perhaps members here can give you ideas that you did not think of as to how to get out of this situation? Isn't it worth a try? And if s/he really can't get out of this situation - make sure to record what is happening. Hide the recorder so that visual and auditory evidence will be recorded without the molester knowing about it. Make copies and give to trusted people. If you can't report the molester - tell him/her you got evidence against him/her on tape and that other people have it as well
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