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Murtaza1

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  1. Like
    Murtaza1 reacted to amr in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    If you accept his Deen and his work and social status, you should ask your daughter about if she accepts his appearance and age or not.
  2. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 reacted to Gaius I. Caesar in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    Except you're stereotyping once again, those relationships are nothing like mutah. Plus, there's no contract and it's not timed. Those men are just in it for sex and to make themselves feel younger.  
  3. Like
    Murtaza1 reacted to Heavenly_Silk in Post A Picture Of Your Fav Animal   
    I love most animals but one of my favs have to be horses. Reminds me of the Zuljanah. 

  4. Haha
    Murtaza1 reacted to Ralvi in Post A Picture Of Your Fav Animal   
  5. Thanks
    Murtaza1 reacted to Maravia in NHS, Muslims and Organ Donation   
    https://www.almahdi.edu/organ-donation-and-Islam/
  6. Thanks
    Murtaza1 reacted to Maravia in NHS, Muslims and Organ Donation   
    British Muslims and Organ Donation
    Awareness of the Shia Imam Hussain blood campaign
     
  7. Haha
    Murtaza1 reacted to abdulhamid in Is this hamd/ Nasheed haram?   
    Those dudes seem really happy though.
  8. Like
    Murtaza1 got a reaction from Ejaz in Is this hamd/ Nasheed haram?   
    Sorry I won't click on the video but I wouldn't take a chance on it. 
  9. Haha
    Murtaza1 got a reaction from abdulhamid in Is this hamd/ Nasheed haram?   
    Sorry I won't click on the video but I wouldn't take a chance on it. 
  10. Completely Agree
    Murtaza1 reacted to Abu Hadi in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    I wouldn't say absolutely no, but like others have said, there are a few things issues which need to be resolved. 
    First, and most important, 42 and never married ? ???
    Most of the time, this means
    1. He was married before but he is trying to keep this secret, because there is a stigma attached to divorce, even for men (although it is not as great as for women)
    2. He wasn't married but had relationships with women, other than marriage. (I.e. haram relationships bf/gf )
    3. He has hormonal issues which are either natural or self inflicted through the use of chemicals
    If it is 1 or 2, you deserve to know, and if you find out something and he continues to lie about it, then definitely I would say do not give your permission, you daughter will be miserable in the marriage and most likely it will end. Someone who can lie about a big thing like that does not deserve to have a wife. If he has done things in the past and has done tawba for this, he should be honest with you about this, and you should make a promise to him that you will not tell anyone else about his 'past', and of course you can't telll anyone. 
    If it is 3, and he has hormonal issues, this is something he should tell you about. Living with someone with these issues is not easy, and most likely they will never have a 'satisfying' relationship, if you know what I mean. Again, most of the time this will end in divorce. 
    Also, as other have said, once this is cleared, you should look at his general character, and how he made his money. This is part of 'Iman and Taqwa', the criteria that were set by Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) as the two marriage criteria. 
    If you find those to be good, and your daughter is interested, then you should give your consent. The age issue, in itself, if the above is ok, is not a huge barrier to a happy marriage. 
  11. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 reacted to Hassu93 in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    There is no Fitna in someones relationship here. There is no relationship.
    The guy is asking people here whether he should marry her daughter to someone who is her father's age.
    Looks are often misleading and bringing up George Clooney etc isn't really good considering the number of past relationship he has had.
    My point here is pretty simple he doesn't know a thing about the guys past or how he makes his money and giving her daughter to him doesnt make sense at all.
  12. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 reacted to Gaius I. Caesar in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    Muslima.com is a scam, its just women who want a green card and have a over-romanticized view of the US. 
  13. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 got a reaction from Gaius I. Caesar in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    @King
    I think you would be surprised to know how useless or misleading such statistics can be. Even if it was true ten years is not such a big gap. 
    If a man and woman both feel right for each other then it's for a good reason linked to mental and biological factors. 
    That is why open minded decision between both partners is important without any thoughts or conditioning put into their minds by society. 
    If you spend time in the company of a 40 year old man that looks, acts and feels 25 then I can guarantee you that you will not disagree with me. The only time you would disagree is if you put the society smoke screen in front of you. People always know it feels right but they become affraid of not fitting in with the conventions of their peers. 
    As I said it's quite normal for age difference marriages to take place in the real world. Its only mass media, social media and popular culture that paint a distorted image. Checkout muslima.com

     
  14. Like
    Murtaza1 got a reaction from Ralvi in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    @Ralvi 
    Yes inshalah we shall continue to learn. To have knowledge feels like having great virtue. Your right we can only guide the girls and boys in such situations of marriage and make sure they decide with a sound mind.
    .
  15. Like
    Murtaza1 reacted to Ralvi in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    Yeah I wasn’t talking about the age difference thing. Doesn’t matter to me either way. A girl ultimately makes the decision for marriage, if there are concerns we can only communicate, can’t really force either way
    I was just on about the holy lady, that’s all I care about lol
    He married the other ladies after Hazarat Khadijah(SA) passed. that much is true and I think he has mentioned that the only one for him was that eminent lady. He was very hurt and sad after her passing
    It’s ok I believed(partially I had doubts) that myth till recently too, learning is never  a finished deal. We will both continue to learn 
  16. Completely Agree
    Murtaza1 reacted to Zulfiqar1472 in Age discrimination in Islamic communities (marriage)   
    Need to give each other personnel space.
  17. Thanks
    Murtaza1 reacted to Ralvi in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    It’s known fact that he was exclusive with Hazarat Khadijah (SA) and relied on her monetary prowess to spread Islam.  Before and after his announcement to the public of his prophethood...
    doesnt take a lot to put two and two together 
    They married young and for a while our Propeht was ridiculed becuase he had no surviving children(as made apparent in the Qur'an)  until he was finally made to go to Miraj to obtain his blessing from God(literally) and this was not done easily, he prayed and prayed for this child...our Prophet more than any other knows the pains and suffering in having a child 
    having chidren is not made easy just becuase one is a Propeht. Countless examples have proven this. Remember our Propeht(saaws) has said no other Prophet has suffered as much as he has
    Her being 40 is a myth just like the Propeht being illiterate and suddenly becoming a Propeht at 40 is a myth and a sinister one at that.
  18. Confused
  19. Partially Agree
    Murtaza1 reacted to King in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    They are not theoretical at all, it has to do with reality.  What is the likelihood a child will outlive their parents or even die around the same time?  The odds are very slim. The age difference among most children and their parents is around 20-35 years.   If a woman is marrying someone 20-30 years older then the likelihood of the woman and her husband living into old age together and passing away within the same decade are extremely slim.  It is simply a matter of biology.  This is not to say that it is impossible for the wife to pass away first or even close to her husbands death but these cases are extreme outliers.  When it comes to a 20-30 year age difference in a couple, there is an extremely high probability the woman will spend a lot more time widowed than couples where the age difference is minimal.  Of course there are exceptions but that doesn't change what happens in overwhelming majority of cases.
    I am not against or for bigger age gaps in marriages, sometimes even short lived marriages are more worthwhile than long ones.  I agree our communities are very judgemental and people should do what feels right and should not be stigmatized for it.  You cannot change human biology however and most normal people tend to age similarly and die off into our 70s and 80s.
  20. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 reacted to Ralvi in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    This is actually false Hazarat Khadijah(SA) was not 40 when she was married. She was actually 1 or 2 yrs older than our Prophet (SAAWS)
    therr are peope bent on spreading false ideas about the holy ladies, especially Hazarat Khadijah calling her old, etc etc 
  21. Like
    Murtaza1 reacted to Propaganda_of_the_Deed in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    This is not unanimous among Shias. Often when trying to prove Fatimah alZahra (عليه السلام) as being the only surviving child of the Prophet saw and Khadijah ra, they often cite her age at the time of marriage and it being unlikely she had so many other daughters - again Fatimah being the only child is not unanimous among all Shias either.
  22. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 reacted to King in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    How are these statistics misleading? At the end of the day most men and women tend to die around the same age on average, if you marry someone 20-30 years older or younger, the chances are extremely high that the two will die at very different ages.  Leaving the other person alone for a longer time than someone of similar age.  This is a valid consideration to make.  I am not saying it is always a bad idea to to marry someone with a 20 year age difference, it can work out to be a wonderful marriage, but there are added considerations.
  23. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 reacted to King in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    Anyone can die at any age but on average Women tend to live into early 80s and men into late 70s in Western countries.  If a woman marries a person 20 years older than her then the chance of her being a widow for an extended amount of time is quite high.  She will be 50 when he is approaching the average terminal age for men.
  24. Respectfully Disagree
    Murtaza1 reacted to King in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    Men tend to die earlier than women so a big age difference could mean she might have to live as a widow for a long time. 
  25. My Prayers
    Murtaza1 reacted to Warilla in Middle aged man wants to marry my daughter   
    I don't entirely agree as the Prophets and Imams adviced us to marry early. If we go against advice then we can't blame Allah
    "Its not good to be such a fitnah in other people's relationships. This can be a cause for your own prayers to be rejected by Allah subhana wa tala. "
    I agree with this. It was an error on my part. Thank you for pointing it out.
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