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In the Name of God بسم الله

Mariamtee

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  1. salam everyone, im almost 23. I'm going to try keeping this short. I've spoken to my dad about a man and the problem has always been that the man is from a different nationality. its been about a year since I first told my dad its been almost 3 years since I've known this guy. my mum knows I speak to him , I don't meet with him ever but we do talk on the phone and occasionally we all go out as friends where there is more than 4 people. the man I want to marry is working really hard at his job to have a stable marriage with me. he is working so much that he barely has time for me now, he is hamdellah a very good man, everything you want in a spouse.. but working so much has taken a toll in our relationship and now im thinking maybe it is a sign from God that I shouldn't go through with this. I finally want to do ishtikhara, problem is I have no idea how to do it al all. im scared if I do it wrong then it'll say its bad and ill believe it but really, I just didn't do it write. can someone help me? also should I do ishtikhara? is there a video on how to do it?
  2. salam everyone I recently heard that you cannot drink from a cup that was designed for alcohol such as shot glasses, wine cups, whiskey cups... is this true? I also heard its only haram if you act like you're drinking wine or alcohol/. anyone have answers?
  3. I was thinking to give my dads number to the groom but I wasn’t too sure if that will disrespect my dad in any way? Our next step is to get a sheik to call me dad and speak To him about how he has no reason to worry about.. pretty much vouch for the man I want to marry because the sheik knows him personally. Also the man I was to marry has an Iraqi grandparent from his dads side because should be abut easier I thought. thank you so much for your response
  4. Just incase you didn’t read my post, this has been happening for 3 years and he is still here. He ensures me that no matter how long or how hard it’s going to be, I’m worth it. He is Lebanese and he does understand this type of issues, he doesn’t agree with them just like I don’t but understands them to a point. He knows what’s going on, his family know what’s going on and they are still trying. My parents are the type of parents where if this goes through, then there isn’t going to be culture issues because I’m going to be my husbands responsibility not theirs.. they know that once I’m marry, they lost there “nitpicking” ways. But thank you for your responses
  5. I completely agree. I’ve spoken to my dad twice, at first he wasn’t happy at all and just shut me down but then he brought it up to me and just asked questions about him and his family and that was 1 month ago. my brothers know, one of them didn’t care at all till now because his mate wants to marry me, so he ignored my situation and didn’t even care who I wanted to marry because he has a mate that’s looking for a Iraqi girl. This is the same mate that my mum keeps trying to convince me of which upsets me because he isn’t a better guy than the one I want to marry, at all, not even close
  6. Hi thank you for your response, I follow Sistani and so does he. Also I’m from Australia
  7. Salam everyone. im almost 23 years old & ive spoken to my parents about a man that I want to marry. They aren’t comfortable about it for 2 reasons; 1. Because they don’t know him or his family & 2. Because he is a lebo Shia and I am Iraqi Shia. It’s been 3 years since I brought up the topic to my mum. First she told me to wait for my older brother to get married, then she told me to wait for my other brother however both my brothers aren’t ready. She knows that my mind is stuck on him but he hurts me when she talks about other potential spouses for me.. she will come into my room & talk to me about one of my brothers mates that is Iraqi and a family man and how wonderful he is. I speak to her about the man I want to marry almost everyday and she helps me out on how to convince my dad and in the future we should get a sheik involved to convince my dad but then why does she talk about other men and encourage me to say yes to one of them? If breaks my heart because it feels like she doesn’t care that it hurts me I’ve been waiting for 3 whole years to marry this one guy, I’ve finished my studies.. I’ve gotten 2 degrees.. I want to get married, I want to start my own family, I want the responsibilities of being a mother and wife already. My whole life, I’ve wanted to start a family rather than a career, that’s how important it is for me. I’ve developed anxiety and depression over the years, I got medication & see a psychiatrist which my parents have no idea about even though they are one of the main reasons I need it. I don’t know how much longer I can be patient for, it’s not just me that it is effecting, it’s the man I want to marry too, his family are happy with me, they are just waiting for my dads approval. I’m so grateful everyday but sometimes I wish there was an easy way just to get married
  8. Hi I don’t know what to say in the shower after I am done with my periods so I don’t say anything. Is my prayer acceptable?
  9. I’ve been going through quit abit this year and most days I can’t handle it. I wish I can just ask god why, why do things need to be this complicated. I’m tired of crying to sleep every night.. I pray everyday.. why do I have to go through so much pain. The only thing that will make me happy is getting married but my dad won’t allow it because his lebo.. doesn’t he know that it’s killing me? He’s hurting his daughter and I wish something will give me hope but the longer I wait for my dads blessing, the more the guy I want to marry is losing hope.. his been waiting for me for 3 years.. he shouldn’t be going through this. Just want to ask god why, why is this happening.. I know everything a test but what do you do when you don’t know what to do??? I’ve lost so many friends because my dad barely lets us hang out with them, he won’t let us work either.. he lets us study but not work. Sometimes I feel like the only thing stopping me from dying is islam forbids it and I’ve got too much faith in my religion to do anything like that. Please god give me a good day already, make my dad say yes.. I’m willing to do anything.. I’m just soo exhausted of crying all the time :(
  10. @Ashvazdanghe @realizm @2Timeless @SamAlFarsi Thank you for responding. I’m 22 so I don’t know all the answers but what am I suppose to do if my dad continues to say no because he is a different nationality to me and I still want to marry him? I will do everything I can to convince my dad but what if he never gets convinced? How do I marry him
  11. I’ve been talking to someone for 3 years with my mums permission and his parents. Recently I told my dad that we want to get married and he said no due to us being from different backgrounds even though we are both Muslim Shia. I spoke to my mum, and we’re going to do everything we can to change my dads mind and if it comes to that, I will marry him with the sheik as a witness. My question is, should I do kheera now? Before we start a difficult journey convincing my dad? Or should I wait till I realise my dad will never be okay with it and do kheera then. I obviously want to marry him, he is a good genuine man.. as good as they get but if I’m going to risk it all, I would like to know if Allah thinks it’s a good idea so should I do kheera before I speak to my dad again
  12. Thank you for your response. I hate that my dads reason is because he is Lebanese, it is wrong. He blows my mind how our communities respect means so much to him that he is willing to hurt his daughter over it. I love my dad and I want this permission more than anything but I’d like to think that if I go through with it without him, it does not become haram for me (please inform me if it is). Him saying no without even giving him the opportunity to meet him is haram and unfair. When I asked my dad, I thought he’ll give him a chance but he turned it down so aggressively that I don’t know if he will disown me or listen to a sheik. My whole family is okay with it except my dad, my mums know I speak to him and she has a really good feeling about him. I know this guy really well, I also know his sister and his brother.. I’ve studied with them in the past. His family knows me too so we’ve gotten the taste of our cultures being different but it’s not major, there’s no problems at all. This guy is worth it, and not because I love him but because of his manners and morals and his religion, his ability to make people around him better. He is the reason I am into my religion, not my family but him, he showed me how important and powerful our religion is. He is someone you want your sons to grow up like or what your daughters deserve. I’ve had abit of a tough life so I always think that god sent him to be to prove that no matter what, he has a plan at the end of the darkness. I’d like to think that he is my blessing. I’ve changed for the better, no doubt about that, and he is better than the man i first fell inlove with. Lastly, we want the same things in life, religion and marriage. Sorry if I sound like a cliché, I wanted to answer all your questions. I can promise you, I’m not over exaggerating anything. He is worth it, and he says I am worth it. Inshallah I want my kids to be exactly like him and what better way then let him be the one that raises them whether my dad is behind me or not.. I just don’t want to do anything haram, the last thing I want is to curse my marriage because I did something haram.
  13. Salam everyone, today I told my dad that I wanted someone to speak to him about marriage and he said let the mums talks.. it’s a mother’s that talk first. & I told him it’s different because this guy is Lebanese (I’m iraqi) and then he went on that no Lebanese, noway. And his reason is that we don’t know them. I told him, how are they any different, he’s into his deen and his good and he’s like yeah I know, they’re very religious but we don’t know them. No Lebanese, never. He never had a good reason and walked off. What do I do now?? Can someone please help me, do I call a sheik? Do I wait it out? I don’t have anyone else to ask.. I’ve been waiting 3 years to marry him, I’ve been praying, making dua.. has anyone gone through this?
  14. Salam everyone, last month I gave my dads a heads up that I wanted a family to come speak to him about marriage. the person I want to marry just came back from the arbaeen in Iraq and now we want to speak to my dad. One problem, I’m iraqi and he’s lebanese.. my dad will not allow it, it’s uncomfortable about marrying a different nationality. does anyone know any tips to convince him abit? I’m planning to say something like I’m not going to lose my culture just because he’s lebanese.. we’re going to teach eachother our languages, both our first language is English anyway. He has a beautiful character, he’s into his deem as much as he possibly can, he’s respectful. i just wish I knew what the key things is to convince him that it’s okay. any opinion will do, thank you in advance. Please pray for me
  15. Salam everyone, i am trying to educate myself on Muharram, when I was a kid I use to watch a movie about the battle of Karbala and Muharram but I can’t seem to find any anymore. Can anyone help me out? Whether it’s episodes or a movie even if it’s a cartoon one, I don’t mind. Preferably in English please? Thank you so much in advance.
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