Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله


Advanced Member
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Zellali

  1. Aoa, 

    I saw an interesting comment on an Instagram post today. The post is about Raffia Arshad, the first female judge in the UK who also wears a head scarf/covering/ hijab. 

    The comment was:

    "Isn't ruling by something other than the law of Allah haram and constitutes kufr?" 

    I dont want to get into the nitty grittys of the question, so lets take an example of something very common in the UK and publicly accepted: Zina. 

    In the UK, the judge cannot punish any 2 people for committing Zina, however it is punishable in Islamic Law. Also, I am well aware that Muslim countries don't follow Sharia down to the dot. There are loopholes, and many of the laws are not publicly followed as well, such as in Pakistan, Malaysia, and others we dont have a law about hijab/head covering of any kind. However, Iran and Saudi Arabia does. But, then Iran and Saudi Arabia has loopholes and shisha lounges are very common there, mixed gatherings are allowed, etc. Not stating my opinion on it, not saying I'm pious and free of all sins, just saying these are things The Prophet SAW and therefore Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) would never approve of. 


    Henceforth, being a judge here is also the same as the West since it doesnt follow Sharia down the dot. But then, the world wouldn't work like that. I understand that atleast officially Iran and Saudi are following Sharia and it might be better than there, but since theres always loopholes, and the powerful/bribery gets away with it even in these countries, then is it okay to do the same in the UK? 

    One last thing, 

    I also know Prophet SAW during his time didn't put non Muslims under sharia Law, they were judged by their religious leaders and punished by their law (atleast what ive read) so if this is true, then Im asking about Muslims committing such sins and their families bringing them to court, if for example they came to her and she still can't pass the judgement by Sharia Law, then what? Is there no expense on her part on the Day of Judgement or is there? 

    I thought of it like this too, if i work in the grocery store, and sell pork/wine, etc. to non muslims and muslims, will i be held accountable? this is how i relate it to my own life and why I want to know the answers. 

    Just a few thoughts. All advice and guidance is welcomed! 


  2. I am so sorry to hear this. Honestly this is so heartbreaking. My opinion would be to open your heart to both your parents, tears and everything. If youve already done this and it hadn't worked you need to include a senior person into this conversation the next time you have it, a marja, a person of religious seniority in your community, an aunt or an uncle or a grandparent. Maybe a family friends parent, someone close whose also the age of or older than your father. 


    If there isn't someone like this in your situation who you can ask for help from, then talk to the guy and tell him of the situation. Ask him whether his family can talk to your father to push the subject towards marriage between you two. Tell the guy to tell his parents about your situation. If you can’t take them into trust about this situation, maybe they're not the right family/guy for you. Because remember, once you get married you also form relationships with his family. Maybe this is Allah's way of showing you they won't have your back in life, or maybe it will show they do. 


    This is all I can say. Prayers are with you :( Insha Allah everything will be fixed soon. 

  3. On 1/2/2020 at 12:43 PM, Logic1234 said:


    Tirmizi are real Sayyid. They attach the name of the city/province from which they belongs I.e., Tirmiz just like many Zaidi Sayyid call themselves "Wasiti" as they belongs to Wasit province. Tirmizi's are actually Zaidi Sadaat.  


    Thank you for this. I searched on Wikipedia and got a similar answer. Just wanted to reassure things :)

    On 1/2/2020 at 12:52 PM, Iqbal1214 said:

    Yes they are actual syed but for your confusion..further do istikhara..If istikhara says He/She is better fir your czn then I think you should go with that. It's my opinion.

    Yes thats good advice! Thank you!

  4. On 1/2/2020 at 2:42 AM, 2Timeless said:

    Lol still doesnt matter, even if parents are being extra if they're reasonable they wont kill a girl for saying yes to a 'Tirmizi Shia Sayed' whatever that even is :rolleyes:

    Uh, the problem is it does matter. Atleast to her father. If you read what I wrote above, youd understand better. She comes from a place where women arent used to voicing opinions and are used to saying yes. We only want whats best for her and that there is minimal problems when we talk to her dad. Why are most answers from you in a condescending tone? 


    On 1/2/2020 at 3:57 AM, realizm said:


    Your approach is a bit weird @Zellali, which such a strict family, all you should wish for your cousin is to marry someone, be it a true or fake Sayyid. 

    Yet here you are asking validation for his authenticity, it seems you are formatted just like your family.

    Not judging sister, just saying what this looks like.

    I don t care about syed non syed. Its the family of the cousin who cares. I don’t care. We want to minimize opposition from her father when we present a proposal. I don’t care. Did I forget to mention it in a previous answer too? I don’t care. 

  5. Sorry I asked. I didnt mean to offend anyone/was trying to be rude. Personally I don’t care, but if its something someone's parents wish, after everything they've done for you, if you find a good Muslim guy whose also Shia, and syed why not go for it. It can be a really difficult thing to fight against (one of my fam friends she got married to a non syed non Shia guy, who is now more educated on shiasm than most of us, but her marriage was at the expense of her family ties with mom and dads side. Luckily her parents were more understanding but did suffer the consequences of not meeting their own brothers and some sisters.) Again, not saying ITS TOTALLY RIGHT OR JUSTIFIED, just saying not everyones as bold and not everyone has understanding parents. 

  6. 20 hours ago, Guest Muslim said:

    Why are Pakistanis always so concerned about sayyids/non-sayyids marrying their women :hahaha:

    I don't know man, why don't u ask my uncle, I'm just trying to help my cousin and she comes from a family where its difficult to voice ur opinions as a daughter, especially since her mom passed away when she was younger. Thanks for thw reply :p

  7. On 12/23/2019 at 10:26 AM, Ashvazdanghe said:

    Salam your family didn't forget you but they are in hard & stressful situation so because of that  they can't afford a typical birthday & postponed it for a better time after passing hard time anyway happy birthday but your family didn't forget you so remember your birthday or celebrate it by your saving & share it with your family.

    Definitely! I know :) they remembered at midnight and it was just nice to hear them say it but it would've been totally alright if they forgot xD I know they're stressed so no worried :) thank you for the advice <3

  8. On 12/22/2019 at 6:54 PM, Moalfas said:

    Happy Birthday! InshAllah the year ahead and your whole future is filled with self growth and Tawfeeq. 

    Ameen! :cryhappy:

    On 12/22/2019 at 8:37 PM, 3wliya_maryam said:


    Insha Allah many more years to come and a bright future ahead

    lol my bday's also soon in a week


    On 12/22/2019 at 10:28 PM, Patience12 said:

    Happy Birthday


    On 12/23/2019 at 2:43 AM, hasanhh said:

    "super problematic"   :grin:"l like that wording."  

    Good you are a real adult and not liking being the center-of-attention like the dumb-girls are.

    My Dad and Grandfather weren't happy unless they were mad-once-a-day, too.

    Happy Birthday, Uhty.

    Haha xD oh lord I couldn't imagine my grandfather be like this as well! 

    On 12/23/2019 at 3:51 AM, Guest Happy bday said:

    Happy Birthday!:clap:

    Thank you!!

    On 12/23/2019 at 8:15 AM, ShiaChat Mod said:

    Happy Birthday. In Sha Allah next year your family will remember your birthday. 

    Inshallah. Well they technically did, an hour before midnight xD. But we said we'll celebrate some day later when we're good to do so :)

  9. My father is an examplary person for me. An example mostly of what not have in my personality. For example, 

    My mammi (mom's brother's wife) borrowed blankets for an occasion from us 2 years ago. Big, expensive ones, that we have been waiting to get back. Finally my mom got the back bone to ask for them back the past month. 

    My dad was also there, my mamoo (mom's brother's/aunt's husband) was also there. My mammi tried to get mamoo to make up some excuse, he acted deaf and mute (like its none of his business). My dad, jumped to be the helping brother in hand. 

    My dad: "Nai nai, kya zaroorat hai. Humaray pass tou bohat hain. Aap rakhlain." (No no, its fine. We have alot. You keep them)

    My mom: *silent and angry, REALLY ANGRY* 

    Their conversation in our car going home went something like this. 

    Mom: "Our old blankets are VERY OLD now, so let's go get the new ones. But we wouldn't have to if we had the ones from them now."

    Dad: "Its ok. Helping relatives is our job. We'll get new ones. Its fine. "

    Mom: "Ok. Get the new ones. The ones she has our about RS8000-10000 (usd 53-64) per blanket."


    Mom: "I was trying to get them. You intervened in the conversation. Why did you intervene when you didnt know?"

    Dad: "I ASSSUMED-"

    Mom: "You assumed."

    And all I think now is if my mom or I or my brothers assume something,  how it's the last straw, how its my mom's upbringing for us and her own parents upbringing for her that we never reassure things before acting and that it will be the reason why we will become failures and then after that no matter how many times he encourages me, it runs subconsciously in my mind and I think "hey maybe it does make sense. Doing things with assumptions will make me end up there" I start to believe I will fail. Of course I never stop working hard. But it makes me waste time. Like right now:D



    and it goes on. Shifting blame for the wrong we do, leads to you becoming my dad: having very huge loss in business = less rizk from Allah = the women in my house must be doing something wrong because im so religious I read namaz Qur'an everyday I read friday prayers I fulfil aalllll my duties, it can’t be me, the brothers are too young to have done anything to blame = double lives lived by all children = subconscious anxiety of parents finding out about other life (pretty normal but too complex to explain to father because of generation gap) = introverted kids = lack of proper or decent social skills (either too rowdy or too quiet) = trust issues with people or too much trust into strangers 

    This is my evaluation of our situation. I know it sounds like I'm stretching, but when you hear this nearly everyday or atleast once every week, you can't help but pick a pattern. No one wants to listen to things like this. Be it a husband wife friend brother sister or parent, no one listens to this [Edited Out] these days. 

    But I guess when all financial issues are grabbed onto by one member, you become helpless. Even my moms redits card is with him most of the time. She's not allowed to use it without probably having to explain the purchases later. She's a working woman. She earns this on her own. 

    Anyone else have any stories related to the topic?

    Jazakallah Khair

  10. On 11/27/2019 at 7:07 PM, thuglife said:

    "Treat men like clothes. Throw on floor and move on." Nice mindset. Raised very well.


    Maybe the OP should think about the other person instead of being so self centered. Having zero sense of making effort to see the other person happy. It's all about what you want.


    If you both believe in the Day of Judgement, and take the People of the House AS as leaders, you would never have hostile disagreements. The problem is that you kinda lost before you even meet the man. Your general mindset should be focused on that Day of Judgement. Once that is at the base of your decision making and opinions, everything else falls into place. Like the morning prayer happens when you are still sleepy. So, even in your semi conscious state, you are focused on pleasing the Most Merciful. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. Your opinions on what to look for that you think are uncontrollable are actually controllable.



    I agree, I very much dislike the first advice about treating men like clothes. I think what she meanr to convey was that don't put too mucu effort into someone who you'd end up moving past thr next month. 


    But the way you replied is honestly so rude. So, she can't have opinions on who she would like to get married to? She should just get married to the next guy that shows up because they both have the same focus: Day of Judgement, even though they don’t have anything else in common? She'll make it work only because she's thinking about what will happen on the day of Judgement if she gets a separation or divorce and so she sticks to someone she's not happy with?

    I understand where you were trying to come from, but everything doesn't have to involve the Day of Judgement. She's not choosing someone with non Islamic qualities, so I don't understand why you have to put her down so much. 

    Other than that, Guest Interstellar, just a reminder to keep in mind that he is religious. If he's a good religious guy, who wont push you into religion (if you're not thay religious) but you will eventually naturally feel the need to be more religious because of how he is, then he's a good guy. Looks do play a part, and I'd tell you to walk carefully through this process and to not let looks get to you before the personality once you do sit down and start chatting. 

    May Allah help you in this journey. Ameen

  11. There was a post that caught my eye, and as I went on to read posts, another one talked continuously about how horrendously the Qur'an wants Muslims to treat non Muslims, especially Hindus (polythiests) so I replied with the same chapter of the Qur'an to clear any misconceptions for others reading. Then the Hindu (priest from the information) went on to ask about further detail about the attrocities of Islam on its followers (since I also expanded my answer to showing how merciful Allah is) 




    Well, he's not exactly a friend, but imagine he is. He's been answering very calmly and friendly, and I would like to answer the same way, so please don't show any hostility in the replies below.

    The only reply below this post is of mine, so the one he has replied to in return is me as well.  

    I haven't yet revealed to him that I am a Shia, and so triple talaq is out of the question, however for the rest I don't feel that as a teenager I am well reversed enough to reply.

    Can someone please educate me more, with references to The Qur'an and Sunnah (maybe Nahjul Balagha as well) so that I can answer these questions truthfully and clear the misconceptions.  Thank you! 

  12. 6 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

    Men like this are not limited to Muslims—abusive family members are everywhere, and transcend any nationality, culture, race. 

     have a difficult father—yes he has provided for us beyond what anyone would do for his children, but he’s largely bad at empathy (because my grandmother, his mom, is like that and worse.) and he’s just awful to be around. He manipulates and plays games, delays things and/or doesn’t do them, is extremely disrespectful and condescending. You have no idea. In public, people think he’s a class-act and is respectful and courteous. At home, he’s an entirely different person. 

    You can only focus on yourself. Your parents have made the choice to stay, be it for financial or maintaining “respect” within the community—whatever the reason, at least you’ll be aware of the red flags for when you choose your own partner so this cycle will no longer repeat. And that’s all you can do.

    Oh my, wow. Spot on. Your dad should meet mine. It'll be like: 

    images (17).jpeg

  13. 5 hours ago, Zaid Bin Ali said:

    She can’t divorce him because she is Sunni. In the country where I live in, woman does not have right to divorce if she marries a man who is from different sect. My father is not religious, he insults Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) when we need something from him or when he lose in a game. Plus he is religious infront of other people. 

    Gosh this is so annoying. What the hell does it mean the country stops the woman from divorce? That's ridiculous. It's a right from Allah, not government. This is why Islam is viewed so disrespectfully. Again, I'm sorry for the situation you are in :( maybe one day one of you kids can grow up and take your mom to another country and get a citizenship, and then file for divorce through that government? 

  • Create New...