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In the Name of God بسم الله

Zellali

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Everything posted by Zellali

  1. It should be, shouldn't it? But it's not. Not where I live at least, and never in my family.
  2. I agree. This sounds very wholesome and true. I believe that it is an agenda. However there's a pressure to never leave here, "till marriage". And honestly that messes it up for alot of young women. Also the situation where it's like your a cattle(women) in between hyenas (men) is impossible to over turn unless we stand up for it together. But I don't see that changing in the next decade either. I'm from the south east.
  3. Exactly the same here. I'm from Pakistan but this situation can also be related to other South Asian or even Western countries where Muslims live.
  4. Kind of made me laugh. From Pakistan. By magic I don't mean Hocus pocus. But I think you know what I mean when I wrote what he said. Exactly. It's so easy to say, ignore them. Be patient. For what? Till they stop saying " I fear Allah and that's only the reason why I don't go further, or else" and actually end up finishing 'or else'? Thank you. For understanding.
  5. 1. Yes I know. I couldn't do it here anyways. It was a very emotional and quick decision to think of such a solution but I couldn't ever carry out with it. Mainly because of the reasons you've named. 2. Nope. We live in one of the best cities of the country and I don't have any close relatives in the other major cities. 3. Yes. I have been ignoring. For 18 years. It's so easy to say "let them handle it" it's what my best friend tells me. It's not easy to see your mother's reputation be dragged through the mud by someone who you look like, by someone whose own flesh a
  6. Mashallah. I'm so proud of you. I know this might sound a little silly coming from a young person, but honestly I am so proud of you. Its not easy, at first. But like the truth is difficult to say in the beginning, but later it brings peace, getting out of a bad situation is difficult at first, and then it only brings you peace. I hope you and your children live happily ever after, and that they all have bright and happy futures. I completely agree about the fact that you could have lost your sanity. And not only yours, your kids would be loosing theirs too. Happy to hear your situ
  7. For my mom it's both, for me it's financial. And yes of course I do work on myself. I'm not a perfect Muslim but I try my best. I'm even thinking of starting to wear head covering. (I wear a dupatta sometimes on my head). The point of the post was that sometimes we are Allah for help through prayers, but we can also ask for help in other ways. Like you know how some aunties are always reciting something and then they ask for dua. Just like there are duas for marriage, or success, I meant is there something specific like that for my situation. Because I'm not the first nor the last
  8. I'm so sorry for what happened. If you don't mind me asking, why can't she divorce him? I strongly urge my mother to do so after my youngest is done with his studies. I don't want her to suffer anymore. I don't care if it seems like we're just using my father for financial benefit. It wouldn't be like this it her were a good honest person. I honestly wish my father wasn't so religious, so I had something to back me up when I tell my friends or family members of this situation.
  9. Thank you. It means alot. I will keep praying. And shiachat does help. However I'm a female and here females don't go to the mosque. It's just school or the house. It's so dukl
  10. He's a religious man, in a stereotypical way. He reads namaz and Qur'an e paak daily. And it would be amazing to see what you mean by evil eye from my mom, since it's so amazing her evil eye is causing him to disrespect her. Amazing. Blame it on some mystical thing while the man does wudu everyday. Not saying I don't believe in evil eye, but there's nothing my dad is better at than my mother for her to look at him and feel anything that would give him evil eye. (Where I live, it's usually because someone is jealous or greedy and look at people with wrong intentions). From his sister, we
  11. How did you get through it? How did you end up leaving him? Did you have any kids? What happened to them or how are they now? I have accepted the reality. But I wanted to give it a shot.
  12. Assalamualaikum, My dad's been sick for two weeks. The day he got sick, one of my moms co-workers was getting divorce because her husband is leaving with another lover. (Yes this is relevant please keep reading) She was devastated so everyone was comforting her. Another one of my mom's coworker friends called her to see where she was because she wanted to go to the lady and console her. My mom said she was in the car with my dad. Of course dad asked who it was, what they wanted, what happened (in a negative tone, the usual ) and then when my mom told him, his answer was
  13. Well I guess the trash takes itself out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. just kidding Thank you for this response though. It really helps in decision making. I couldn't find posts about these kind of questions in a Shia forum so I'm hoping it helps someone else too and this response was a perfect way to put everything in perspective before a decision.
  14. Yeah but is it allowed to separate from your parents without their permission? If you're earning enough to pay for rent and basic needs? Her argument was based on this question we came across the internet, https://www.seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/can-an-unmarried-young-woman-live-alone/ Except here the two sisters are moving out together, so is it okay even if it was just one of the sisters moving out on her own. And after what age can this be done? How was the response of the person on the website (Sunni). Can someone site sources to say it's okay to do
  15. I'm an 18 year old female, and in the future I might be living away from home for university and then maybe a job. One of my friends (also Shia) says that after a certain age of maturity we should be able to live our own life without asking our parents for permission and burdening them. That we should get a job and move elsewhere (even during university or for university). I don't have an issue personally (neither do my parents) on that part, but they believe that if only I'm going abroad for my studies it would be fine. And I know alot of you are going to say that that's not allowed for
  16. Definitely you're right. I was being curious, not trying to set a ground for which Prophet to believe in. Jazakallah khair.
  17. I'm actually not black. I'm , tan? Haha anyways the question was as in inquiry since a friend asked. I was being a curious person since there seem to be a lot of movies about Prophets (even in Arabic) and theyre white. Just curious, don't worry I'm not being discriminatory. No needto take it so negatively. Jazakallah khair
  18. No I don't. I was wondering because a friend asked. I never said anything and cetainly don't mean it in a racist way. lol. Why would you even think that??
  19. What do you think? The mothers going to let it be like that? I strongly urge that she gets evidence of her mother's ugly side and shows it the rest of the family. If she doesn't cut ties, the grandmother won't hesitate to take over the kids and since OP is so distressed, she might succeed.
  20. Sorry I didn't read the part about you leaving your husband. But I would strongly suggest you get away from them and get a khula.
  21. Found the mom. (It's a joke) For God's sake stop spreading this message. You'll be the reason for their unhappiness and even more distance from religion. For OP, PLEASE don’t GO BACK TO HER. Also, your husband has failed you. Just like your mother. You seem educated, enough that you previously had a job. Get back at it. (I'm hoping you already work since your husband was in debt? If not, find a way to save up money for rent. File for khula soon and leave the husband. He doesn't deserve you. You have this right for a reason. If you stay in this marriage, it'll cau
  22. I was wondering, if a previous rapist or murderer or zalim(abuser) (already Muslim, not revert/convert) dies in the forces fighting for Muslims, or dies and they knew they were going to die but did anyways for the sake of Allah or Islam (some people are ready to give up their lives for religion and Allah but don’t give up their very bias views and/or accept the wrong acts they committed in accordance to those views). What would happen to that person? According to normal views, all previous sins are forgiven, but isn’t that injustice with the abused? The same question for the non Muslims
  23. AOA, I was thinking of writing down places in the world i'd love to visit; it came to my mind that why not asking people of the certain areas! So, what's the most visited or most popular city in your country (open to suggestions of people living in the countries at the time, and of your own home countries). Can't wait to hear from you all! Jazakallah Khair
  24. ya i guessed that. but i mean as in genetically dark.
  25. I just finished highschool, and now im going to what you can call college. I'm going to persue engineering, though im still unsure which field im going to choose.
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