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In the Name of God بسم الله

Zellali

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  1. For anyone still reading these threads: This event is mentioned only in 2 sunni sources, which the Shia quote. I am currently trying to read through the first source "Seerat/Sirat Al Halbiya" (apparently it is in vol 2); the second source, it is mentioned in the book "Tazkiratul awliya", and in it, it clearly mentions that "Hazrat Umar and Imam Ali went to Yemen..." then goes onto mention how Hazrat Owais e Qarni points the question at both of them "If your friendship was true... (u would have removed ur teeth as well or done some similar act to share the pain)..." the book then goes on to say "And after seeing this both sahabas felt a tender feeling towards him. (owais) ," or " felt like weeping". the thing is, I can't find any English translation, and so I'm reading it in urdu. For anyone who knows urdu, in urdu it says "ye dekh kar dono sahabah par *riqqat* tari ho gayi", riqqat is the word used to show how they felt and its an ambiguous word. hence dual translation to English by me (lol, I could be wrong). But, it proves that one of the two books this tradition is taken from, actually mentions Umar and Ali. Hmmmm... be careful who u quote and what for. Whatever this book says, the extract I've described above is not just a question on one person, but both. I wonder if you're willing to say this tradition is false, hence making one of the two traditions that validates matam by Rasulallah SAWs on own words (which he hasn't), useless or are you willing to accept Imam Ali was being directed at and his friendship, loyalty and love for Rasulallah SAW was being questioned? (leaving the screen shots of the book where I mention this from. Tazkiratul Awliya: Second Chapter Owais e Qarni (pg11 in urdu translation))
  2. For anyone still reading these threads: This event is mentioned only in 2 sunni sources, which the Shia quote. I am currently trying to read through the first source "Seerat/Sirat Al Halbiya" (apparently it is in vol 2); the second source, it is mentioned in the book "Tazkiratul awliya", and in it, it clearly mentions that "Hazrat Umar and Imam Ali went to Yemen..." then goes onto mention how Hazrat Owais e Qarni points the question at both of them "If your friendship was true... (u would have removed ur teeth as well or done some similar act to share the pain)..." the book then goes on to say "And after seeing this both sahabas felt a tender feeling towards him. (owais) ," or " felt like weeping". the thing is, I can't find any English translation, and so I'm reading it in urdu. For anyone who knows urdu, in urdu it says "ye dekh kar dono sahabah par *riqqat* tari ho gayi", riqqat is the word used to show how they felt and its an ambiguous word. hence dual translation to English by me (lol, I could be wrong). But, it proves that one of the two books this tradition is taken from, actually mentions Umar and Ali. Hmmmm... (leaving the screen shots of the book where I mention this from. Tazkiratul Awliya: Second Chapter Owais e Qarni (pg11 in urdu translation))
  3. I have searched and searched for any pdfs regarding the book and shockingly there are none that I could find in Arabic even, except for a preview in Scribd. if anyone has it can they dm me and help me with getting references from the book. i won't ask for too many.
  4. I have legit been searching for tehzeeb Al ahkam in English and urdu, and any websites offering pdfs are dupe websites. everytime u click on the links it takes u to infinite adds, many viruses are spread. it's astonishing that one of the 4 major book does not have ONE Arabic, urdu or English pdf out there. YES NOT EVEN ARABIC. the only version I could find was on Scribd, and that too a small preview part, even if I did end up buying that IT WAS NOT THE WHOLE Book. If anyone has a link please send it. or if anyone has the book, in Arabic or urdu, can you please dm me so I can get the hadith neesedspan widgetI have legit been searching for tehzeeb Al ahkam in English and urdu, and any websites offering pdfs are dupe websites. everytime u click on the links it takes u to infinite adds, and MashaAllah on the same page it asks u download them, it says to allow notifs which we all know it can become a security risk for the device to Allow anything from unknown websites. that is how many viruses are spread. it's astonishing that one of the 4 major book does not have ONE Arabic, urdu or English pdf out there. YES NOT EVEN ARABIC. the only version I could find was on Scribd, and that too a small preview part, even if I did end up buying that IT WAS NOT THE WHOLE Book. If anyone has a link please send it. or if anyone has the book, in Arabic or urdu, can you please dm me so I can get the hadith nee
  5. Aoa Everyone, I was wondering how do the Ayaat of Surah Mujadilah apply to the lives of Muslims in this time and age. I was personally interpreting it as the fact that thihar were words used by the man to divorce his wife in the pre Islamic era, when in fact he would not divorce her but come around later and act as if nothing happened, and so it does not mean those words have to be the ones used by Hazrat Khawla's husband, but instead they can be placed in the context of todays world, where as Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has stated that they do not mean that actually she has become like a mothers back to him, but now for the mental torture and his lack of control on his tongue he must make atonement, which is then further described by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Can anyone link what other scholar have to say about these ayats? Esp sistani and ghamdi? or is there a way to contact them, leave these questions for them? I will be honest, I am asking in reference to a personal situation. My father told my mother in our language (urdu) that 'mai tumhay farigh karta hun' (in an insullting tone saying i set you free (as if you are a characterless person who cannot be restrained)) and 'tumhay ab mai ghar se nikalta hun' (i am going to kick you out of the house). on other occasions he has used the words that now our relationship is finished. could these ayaat be applied in these lights? this is not just a one time anger issue, this is nearly ever week of my life the past 20 years, consistent mental abuse, just like with Hazrat Khawla RA. The above mentioned are two people i could talk to my father with reference to and he'd be willing to listen, he is the kind of person who goes back on his own words just to be always always, always right. no matter what he has to do to seem right. The Surah (1-4): 1. Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah . And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. 2. Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives – they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving. 3. And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said – then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allah is Acquainted with what you do. 4. And he who does not find [a slave] – then a fast for two months consecutively before they touch one another; and he who is unable – then the feeding of sixty poor persons. That is for you to believe [completely] in Allah and His Messenger; and those are the limits [set by] Allah . And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment.
  6. Aoa Everyone, I was wondering how do the Ayaat of Surah Mujadilah apply to the lives of Muslims in this time and age. I was personally interpreting it as the fact that thihar were words used by the man to divorce his wife in the pre Islamic era, when in fact he would not divorce her but come around later and act as if nothing happened, and so it does not mean those words have to be the ones used by Hazrat Khawla's husband, but instead they can be placed in the context of todays world, where as Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has stated that they do not mean that actually she has become like a mothers back to him, but now for the mental torture and his lack of control on his tongue he must make atonement, which is then further described by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Can anyone link what other scholar have to say about these ayats? Esp sistani and ghamdi? or is there a way to contact them, leave these questions for them? I will be honest, I am asking in reference to a personal situation. My father told my mother in our language (urdu) that 'mai tumhay farigh karta hun' (in an insullting tone saying i set you free (as if you are a characterless person who cannot be restrained)) and 'tumhay ab mai ghar se nikalta hun' (i am going to kick you out of the house). on other occasions he has used the words that now our relationship is finished. could these ayaat be applied in these lights? this is not just a one time anger issue, this is nearly ever week of my life the past 20 years, consistent mental abuse, just like with Hazrat Khawla RA. The above mentioned are two people i could talk to my father with reference to and he'd be willing to listen, he is the kind of person who goes back on his own words just to be always always, always right. no matter what he has to do to seem right. The Surah (1-4): 1. Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah . And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. 2. Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives – they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving. 3. And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said – then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allah is Acquainted with what you do. 4. And he who does not find [a slave] – then a fast for two months consecutively before they touch one another; and he who is unable – then the feeding of sixty poor persons. That is for you to believe [completely] in Allah and His Messenger; and those are the limits [set by] Allah . And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment.
  7. Aoa everyone, You may not know me, but I made a post a few years ago concerning my father. Well, yesterday things took a turn for the worst after a couple of peaceful months. An argument between my parents got out of hand where my father wouldn't let go of a topic and my mother after hearing it about it endlessly lost her patience and yelled at him, and he got physical (or maybe he was just scaring her since he'd done stuff to scare but never really pull something off the past year or so) with a stick in his hand. I had stopped intervening in all their fights but this was too far and I only got in between to take the stick away. Did not speak one word, did not yell nor attack him. But he suddenly hit me, and then nobody except me got beat up. Its only 3 marks/bruises and honestly at this point i dont expect any better nor do i feel sad that it happened because it doesnt affect me anymore. However, he is now letting my younger three brothers go on their lives like normal (even though they intervened as well) and making my moms and my life a torturous mental hell. Took both our phones, and i have exams (which im trying to keep my focus on) so i have my laptop. But after my exams are over and university gives vacations for a few weeks, what then? I am trying my best not to think these thoughts and just leave it up to Allah, and dont get me wrong, i am so happy he is not treating my brothers the way he would treat me when i was younger, but now he is putting the same thoughts about my mother and i that he used to try to put in my head about her, that she is selfish,only cares for herself and actually wants to ruin your future so you become losers and stay under her, and much more horrible things. I dont believe that after everything my brothers have witnessed and spoken against him themselves for, will believe him, but its so emotionally draining to go through all this. Please, please make dua for us. For my mother, to see better days, for my brothers, to never witness such things again, for my father, to stop being this way, and for me, to finally be able to earn and live away, to finally set my life and help better their lives, not because of the money, but because i will have, to the extent Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) gives, control over my life to be able to make decisions and act on them; maybe like calling my mother away for a few days at my place or maybe, even my father, and finally be able to solve all this. Please pray we get sabr, i have noticed in myself since yesterdays episode, I seem to have lost peace and patience. Ya Allah give me sabr.
  8. Ngl, i agree to some extent. I get how some members replying are thinking that the OP saying theyre leaving shia islam for the meanwhile means they dont believe in Imams or Mola Ali (عليه السلام). but I dont think thats what OP means. The basis of their rant is what Shia Islam has turned into, and ngl, I agree that if you took a look from a third persons view like I have been for the past year, it's like looking into a marriage; you get to see it all, the why, who what, a lot of things that never added up that I listened to growing up. The unanswered questions *but (edit: by) not just people who could only do so much to acquire knowledge and pass it onto you (parents) but even by scholars, saying things like the sunni scholars that the people wouldnt be able to understand or interpret it right if we told them. Sometimes, no answers are an answer.
  9. I agree. My parents don't. I'm tired of arguing with them and everytime them suddenly thinking of me being influenced by this "toxic liberal" thinking and becoming suffocated by them trying to "get her back towards religion". Also, I've read everything else you are saying and you are right. I know all this. That's why I wrote in the end, I know I will move on he will move on. It's just sad that we have to move on.
  10. I don't know. He might, he might not. I don't want my kids to grow up confused. To be very honest, the kids are a major reason why the other person's beliefs matter to me. I'll be saying one thing, he'll be saying another. Or the lessons he might give using personalities I don't agree my kids should take as role models, might cause rifts and fights to become a common thing. I'm going to answer the next few questions without taking into consideration the only dispute of religion we have. yes. I have a lot of boxes, and not only does he check majority (all checks, if we leave the above mentioned dispute) he checks off ones I didn't even knew should exist. I check off all his as well as far as he has told me, and showed me. yes. not that we haven't had rights but, in the end, we have come out stronger with each fight. especially I see myself a changed person. my negative characristics (anger issues, inconsistency in work, etc) that used to nag me have faded away. pretty young according to alot of people today, but we would be willing to get married. if not moving in, atleast in paper (nikkah). we're both 20 heading for 21. His don't, but he he wouldn't be willing to put himself out there unless approached. he's very shy in this sense and is very scared of misinterpreting signals and ending up in the wrong place wrong time due to prior problems. technically neither do mine, but he doesn't fill the initial critera for my parents. yes but in our culture parents are a huge part of your life, before and after marriage. plus, my parents have done a lot for me in life, especially my mother. I can't hurt her. they had made this condition clear to me as far back as i can remember. even if right now it might be wrong, I will still not go against them openly and defy them infront of the whole family. yes, I shoukdnt care what those family members have to think, but my parents are getting older each day and I can't change their mindsets. its either getting my way or their happiness. I hope my post doesn't confuse anyone into thinking that Islam requires such a thing. it doesn't. my parents (and culture) are the reason for it. not the religion.
  11. Aoa, This isn't me asking for advice. This isn't me asking to be told what's right and what's wrong (although that won't stop a good number from letting me know what I already know) This is more like me asking for anyone who can remember me in their prayers, for ease in mine and his heart, give both of us patience to bare this pain till we can get over it,some day. Please no one argue with anything, if you want to advise or give solutions you can, incase someone else in the future sees this post and it helps them. But please, be a bit kind and don't say things that would increase the pain in someone's life. I am in love with someone whom I can't marry. And he is in love with someone who can't marry him. My parents had made it clear that they want to marry me off to a Syed Shia guy, then someone good and I have an understanding with but who also has a certain (financially and standard) family background, etc. But the biggest problem is the first point I raised. He is neither. He is a very logical person and according to his own research, despite none of his parents even being part of one sect, he does not believe in sects. That's fine, and it's great because his own journey has bought him to love the ahlelbayt on his own (the great members of the household who came under the cloak with Rasulallah SAW). However he still looks up to the first 2 caliphs, especially the second one, believing that certain events are made up in much later centuries to cause a drift between the Muslims. To be honest, if someone with good knowledge, and strong historical references, who could have an actual conclusive debate with him, and counter all his arguments in a smooth and conclusive manner, if he had or has in the future someone like that, he would be more than happy to accept the truth and follow it. He's had a rough childhood, and still has a bit rough life, and he's learned to live and be flexible according to it. And one of the things he's learned is to never think you've become the teacher. Always believe in being the student. Many of you will try to say, well if he's such a good researcher why hasn't he reached the truth already? Because, everyone has their own journey, and Ive tried my the best to be the person I described above (someone who could give conclusive answers) but I failed. Anyways, even for myself I know I can't marry someone I might have to convince of beliefs that are basic to me, and I can't marry someone who won't be reassured of their beliefs of people they look up to by me. It's just cruel to each other. If we put just religion according to the Quran and Hadith and daily life on the table, since he really loves the Ahlulbayt as well, it's totally fine. If we come to the topic of sensibility, maturity, security, respect, logical and reasonable thinking, understanding, guiding, caring, recognizing things like roles of people especially men (for himself) in the society and in a marriage, having similar perspectives and understanding of the world and its affairs, the afterlife and it's affairs, you get the gist, we're really compatible in that department. And you can compromise alot of departments when you think about being with some one for the rest of your lives, but this above mentioned department, which is detrimental to how you both work together in your daily lives, for the rest of your life, this is something you need to be on the same page. And it's crazy how much we are. It's crazy that this isn't the only department we're really amazing together in. Nearly 90% of it without having lived together, and maybe we can bring that down to 60% if we did since people say you never know how you can't tolerate someone till you live with them, but that's alot more than alot of other people get. And who said that if it's 60% in the beginning it stays like that. But no matter how good we are together, in the end, it comes back in a circle to problem 1 and 2. One being my parents need for A Syed shia, and two being that he can never be a syed. Maybe I could convince my parents to let go of the family background stuff, because his father is a caring man who has never left his mother's side despite her developing severe OCD and other illnesses after his birth (he's an only child) and his mom is someone who's understanding, especially of the situation she is in and that if you have family by your side, unnecessary pressures by society don't matter. So who cares, rizk is given by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) anyways, as long as you have pure intentions and a good heart and you keep working hard. But I cant let my parents down. I had always told them, they will choose someone suitable for me, and then I will see if he really is compatible, that way if I say yes finally, my parents won't have any problems with the person. But it seems now, since I had the perfect plan to avoid heartbreak and also please my parents in one go, It was decided this will become my test in this life. It's so ironic, I was the one who told everyone else to never fall for anybody outside of marriage and that it's silly to think it can't be avoided. I became hard as a rock, unbreakable, unbendable. And now I'm experiencing a side to myself, a soft side Im scared I never would've even found if I hadn't met him. Yeah, I might have seen it come out for my husband, but it's not the same. Because with him it would be there knowing I'm secure to some extent, because I'd be in a marriage. This is, me feeling like this knowing nothing will come out of it in the end. and still not being able to hold my feelings back. I wish we all knew the truth. I wish the opinions on what REALLY happened weren't blended into many sects, like the jews and the Christians basic faith has been; the lies mixed with the truths, instead of black and white, a blurry Grey. I hope he starts believing he deserves to have someone in his life who would be interested in everythint he has to say, understand his jokes, would be at the same mental capacity, would get the day to day references to the DC and Marvel universe. These are obviously surface level things, I'm just saying from personal point of view, a marriage is obviously much more deeper; all I'm trying to say is he would get his person. Hope his parents don't marry him off to someone they think he'd be compatible with, because he wouldn't fight them, and they might not know him like this. I know, our parents want the best for us. There is a generation gap albeit in today's times, that's what I'm speaking about. Maybe I'm blabbering because my heart aches that that won't be me, or for me, that won't be him. Maybe we'll find someone a hundred times better for each of us. Who knows? But is it wrong to say, some people just become a part of you, for the rest of your life. Especially when they come into your life in the most unexpected time, from the most unexpected places, and give you the most unexpected experiences. Yes I'll love again, yes I'll continue to live, yes we both will. Yes I might have it all with someone else, and he might too. I know all of this. don't think I am ignorant to the truth of moving and living on. But, you don't get it till you're in it. And boy, am I in the middle of the very thing I would kill one of my friends if they were in. I hope no one goes through this. I pray no one goes through thinking they might have found their person and then proceed to live without them. Even if that sounds dramatic and dumb. It's how I'm feeling. But in the end, this person has also helped me fully give in to Allah's plans. To just have pure intentions towards my situations and trust the solving of problems to Allah. Just trust Him completely. "They plan and Allah Plans and Allah is the best of the Planners" Ya Al Razzaq, ease our hearts.
  12. Aoa, I saw an interesting comment on an Instagram post today. The post is about Raffia Arshad, the first female judge in the UK who also wears a head scarf/covering/ hijab. The comment was: "Isn't ruling by something other than the law of Allah haram and constitutes kufr?" I dont want to get into the nitty grittys of the question, so lets take an example of something very common in the UK and publicly accepted: Zina. In the UK, the judge cannot punish any 2 people for committing Zina, however it is punishable in Islamic Law. Also, I am well aware that Muslim countries don't follow Sharia down to the dot. There are loopholes, and many of the laws are not publicly followed as well, such as in Pakistan, Malaysia, and others we dont have a law about hijab/head covering of any kind. However, Iran and Saudi Arabia does. But, then Iran and Saudi Arabia has loopholes and shisha lounges are very common there, mixed gatherings are allowed, etc. Not stating my opinion on it, not saying I'm pious and free of all sins, just saying these are things The Prophet SAW and therefore Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) would never approve of. Henceforth, being a judge here is also the same as the West since it doesnt follow Sharia down the dot. But then, the world wouldn't work like that. I understand that atleast officially Iran and Saudi are following Sharia and it might be better than there, but since theres always loopholes, and the powerful/bribery gets away with it even in these countries, then is it okay to do the same in the UK? One last thing, I also know Prophet SAW during his time didn't put non Muslims under sharia Law, they were judged by their religious leaders and punished by their law (atleast what ive read) so if this is true, then Im asking about Muslims committing such sins and their families bringing them to court, if for example they came to her and she still can't pass the judgement by Sharia Law, then what? Is there no expense on her part on the Day of Judgement or is there? I thought of it like this too, if i work in the grocery store, and sell pork/wine, etc. to non muslims and muslims, will i be held accountable? this is how i relate it to my own life and why I want to know the answers. Just a few thoughts. All advice and guidance is welcomed!
  13. I am so sorry to hear this. Honestly this is so heartbreaking. My opinion would be to open your heart to both your parents, tears and everything. If youve already done this and it hadn't worked you need to include a senior person into this conversation the next time you have it, a marja, a person of religious seniority in your community, an aunt or an uncle or a grandparent. Maybe a family friends parent, someone close whose also the age of or older than your father. If there isn't someone like this in your situation who you can ask for help from, then talk to the guy and tell him of the situation. Ask him whether his family can talk to your father to push the subject towards marriage between you two. Tell the guy to tell his parents about your situation. If you can’t take them into trust about this situation, maybe they're not the right family/guy for you. Because remember, once you get married you also form relationships with his family. Maybe this is Allah's way of showing you they won't have your back in life, or maybe it will show they do. This is all I can say. Prayers are with you Insha Allah everything will be fixed soon.
  14. Definitely! I know they remembered at midnight and it was just nice to hear them say it but it would've been totally alright if they forgot xD I know they're stressed so no worried thank you for the advice <3
  15. Ameen! Thank u! HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY XD Ty! Haha xD oh lord I couldn't imagine my grandfather be like this as well! Thank you!! Inshallah. Well they technically did, an hour before midnight xD. But we said we'll celebrate some day later when we're good to do so
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