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In the Name of God بسم الله

Futuremedstudent

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  1. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from A_A in Career VS Marriage   
    W/a
    I don't know if I can advise but I can just say that I am in a similar yet different position as your sister. I wonder if she's the oldest in the fam? I am the oldest, but alhamdulilah, no pressure from anyone and actually no talks of marriage which is quite great. One has to figure out what they want in life first. Do you want to go to med school and practice-- that's awesome. Do you want to start a family early-- that's your choice as well. Also one must never forget the Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the best of planners. 
    I personally enjoy not knowing about the future and thus not stressing about the future. I also want to pursue med, but it's even a longer path in the U.S where one has to get their bachelors first and apply to med school (even may take several gap years!) attend 4 years med, then 3 years of residency, until one 'officially' practices. One can do a lot in the meantime, a career is not just a job, it's a lifestyle, and whatever lifestyle means to you one can incorporate it along with their career. Also one should not think of med school as 'school' it's technically a career and one must treat it is a job. Does one not have a family if they have a job? of course, that is nonsense, and some people still don't understand that med school is not really a school but rather a career.
    Best of luck.
  2. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent reacted to Mohammed-Mehdi in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    Some people will respond positively, others negatively.
     
    Those who do negatively, assuming and hating, or even calling you a racist or something, you probably don't want to work for such a boss/... anyway. If it is just someone who is there to hire people or do the convos but won't be able to do much once you are in, then it is different, and we should not satisfy them by making a mistake.
  3. Thanks
    Futuremedstudent reacted to Aale Mohammad in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    I am a doctor. I had an interview for a job two years ago where one of the interviewers was female. She extended her hand to greet me but I refused politely stating that I don't shake hands for religious reasons. She felt a bit surprised and it was embarrassing for her, but I apologized and explained that I cannot shake hands.  The interview went very well and I was selected. I've been working with her since then and whenever we are seeing a female patient together and the patient extends her hands to great me, the lady Dr. herself explains to the patient that I cannot shake hands due to religious reasons. 
    At other times, when I decline to shake hands, I receive all sorts of different and sometimes very interesting responses. 
    Only yesterday when I refused to shake hands with the wife of a patient whom I had just examined, she said..."O yes, germs!". I didn't explain to her my reason was different! 
    Once a white lady with whom I didn't shake hands surprised me when she said "jazakAllah" while drawing her hand back. I looked at her puzzled.  She said that her daughter had just converted to Islam recently and she too doesn't shake hands with men. The mother had learnt jazakAllah from her daughter. 
    Once I placed my hands on my chest and bowed a little and I said I don't shake hands. The woman got totally confused and bowed herself and placed her hand on my hand which was on my chest! What can you do! 
    Once a colleague wanted to give a hi-five to me and I said I can't do this. She got surprised and asked why. I said in my religion women are respected like Queens; an ordinary person will not have the audacity to touch a Queen. Apparently she really liked this concept. 
    Most people don't mind at all, but there have been one or two incidents where the women didn't like that I didn't shake their hands. 
    But sometimes physical contact is inevitable and beyond your control. What can you do when any female member of the staff very politely places her hand on your hand to request you to do something. It is not possible to explain to every single person before hand that you cannot have any physical contact. 
  4. Like
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from ireallywannaknow in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    Great replies. 
    As far as contacting interviewers directly at least in health profession settings, they do not notify you on who's going to interview you unfortunately.  
    Also wearing gloves does seem kind of awkward as usually I see people take their gloves off (winter etc.) before shaking someones hand (it may imply that someones hands are dirty thus I wear gloves etc.. of course that would not be the reason why one wears the gloves but people make assumptions.) . But I certainly understand that when ones a doc for example they should certainly wear gloves before examining patients. 
    I personally don't see any reason to say to say I'm a hypochondriac (I'm not) as that just brushes off the actual reason why I don't shake hands. Sometimes I think people need to understand others customs and not take any offense and iA as more Muslims represent various sectors of the workplace it would become common practice.
  5. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from Guest31324 in Career VS Marriage   
    W/a
    I don't know if I can advise but I can just say that I am in a similar yet different position as your sister. I wonder if she's the oldest in the fam? I am the oldest, but alhamdulilah, no pressure from anyone and actually no talks of marriage which is quite great. One has to figure out what they want in life first. Do you want to go to med school and practice-- that's awesome. Do you want to start a family early-- that's your choice as well. Also one must never forget the Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the best of planners. 
    I personally enjoy not knowing about the future and thus not stressing about the future. I also want to pursue med, but it's even a longer path in the U.S where one has to get their bachelors first and apply to med school (even may take several gap years!) attend 4 years med, then 3 years of residency, until one 'officially' practices. One can do a lot in the meantime, a career is not just a job, it's a lifestyle, and whatever lifestyle means to you one can incorporate it along with their career. Also one should not think of med school as 'school' it's technically a career and one must treat it is a job. Does one not have a family if they have a job? of course, that is nonsense, and some people still don't understand that med school is not really a school but rather a career.
    Best of luck.
  6. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from shia farm girl in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    Great replies. 
    As far as contacting interviewers directly at least in health profession settings, they do not notify you on who's going to interview you unfortunately.  
    Also wearing gloves does seem kind of awkward as usually I see people take their gloves off (winter etc.) before shaking someones hand (it may imply that someones hands are dirty thus I wear gloves etc.. of course that would not be the reason why one wears the gloves but people make assumptions.) . But I certainly understand that when ones a doc for example they should certainly wear gloves before examining patients. 
    I personally don't see any reason to say to say I'm a hypochondriac (I'm not) as that just brushes off the actual reason why I don't shake hands. Sometimes I think people need to understand others customs and not take any offense and iA as more Muslims represent various sectors of the workplace it would become common practice.
  7. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent reacted to shia farm girl in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    As salaamun aleikum, 
    Drs usually wear rubber gloves before they start touching people, so once you get to that point in your career, in sha Allah, just put gloves on immediately.
    Up til that point, I personally think youre already doing a great job. Its the same thing I do when these occasions sneak up on me, however, when I KNOW I will be dealing with a male, like when visiting my  parents' male attorney, and knowing how these meetings generally end in handshakes, I prepare ahead of time by bringing a pair of thin black gloves that match my attire so I don’t look awkward. (I will, however,  look odd if it is a hot day)
    But yes, the Islamic issue has to do with preventing bare skin contact with na mahram, not the shaking in snd of itself, so if at some point you believe you need to actually engage in the whole handshaking ritual, then try to have a pair of gloves handy. Use them with the guys too if youre worried about rowdying up some womans "issues".
    Otherwise, I think youre doing a great job already:)
    W/s
  8. Haha
    Futuremedstudent reacted to Vindemiatrix in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    I'm just going to say that you're lucky they don't do hugging and kisses in your country as a greeting in the workplace.... 
  9. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    Before the interview, it's smart to contact those who will be conducting the interview, and make it clear that you can't shake hands if any female extends her hands. I think most hiring managers will understand and will respect you for letting them know well in advance.
    Don't make things awkward on the day because it'll affect your interview (you won't be in the right frame of mind). Keep in mind that recruitment managers are human beings too, and if you awkwardly refuse a handshake, it'll affect how they behave towards you in a very subtle way (not that they're purposefully going to do it). 
  10. Haha
    Futuremedstudent reacted to starlight in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    A doctor saying that he is a hypochondriac or mysophobic would seem rather odd, innit?
  11. Thanks
    Futuremedstudent reacted to AmirioTheMuzzy in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    "I can't shake hands for religious reasons, unless medically necessary"
  12. Haha
    Futuremedstudent reacted to AmirioTheMuzzy in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    This is too elaborate... as you would have to extend it to all aspects of your life.

    As an aside, it would be hilarious if OP wasn't a 'hypochondriac' to everyone in this scenario.  "I'm only afraid of female germs".
  13. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent reacted to AmirioTheMuzzy in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    Don't do that... they still understand sex boundaries and that males are generally more comfortable with males, and females generally more comfortable with females... Most will just think that you just follow a stricter version of this. Though, you're correct that there will always be some women who get offended because their immediate mindset is that it's 'another' sexist Islamic thing. 'Women aren't good enough to shake men's hands??'. Apparently, their secular liberal mindset impedes them from seeing handshakes as bilateral, lol. Teaching them about Islamic beliefs won't change their feminist egalitarian beliefs, whereby everything has to apply to women and men equally.
  14. Like
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from shia farm girl in Shaking Hands during interviews   
    Salam everyone:
    I am interested to hear your experiences during interviews and the like where a person of opposite gender extends their hand to shake. I usually apologize and place my hand near my chest and with a slight bow I say "Sorry, I can't shake hands due to religious reasons". Is that response sufficient nowadays? What about for interviewing for health professions where people who don't know about Islam will think that if I can't shake hands, then how can I treat patients? 
    I have consistently wondered that if jobs/careers/health professions etc. endorse diversity in their mission how come ways of greeting not included as diversity? How can we inform more people to let them know about Muslim handshaking so that everyone understands why one does not shake hands with the opp gender out of respect, not to disrespect.
    I have also thought about not shaking the hands of anyone for the purpose of 'equality' especially in mixed panel style interviews. I guess this is one of the difficulties of living in the west unfortunately.
    I would like to know what you all think and also how to deal with these scenarios now and during the career etc.
     
  15. Like
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from dragonxx in Necessity of hijab   
    Salam everyone, new shiachat member! Made an account to specifically address views on hijab. As a university student in the west, the concept of hijab is not--and I repeat not-- only covering the hair. Nowadays hair covering is becoming a fashion if you look at fashion mags. To describe the concept of hijab in the most simplest ways (and not repeat what other members have already said) if your intention is to attract the opposite gender in any way or form then you are not practicing hijab. If you sport certain fashions to attract opposite gender, you are not practicing hijab. It is quite simple really. No need to overcomplicate things and Allah swt knows best your behaviors and actions. 
    Wassalam 
  16. Like
    Futuremedstudent reacted to Laayla in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    Our brothers have every right to comment.  They have mothers, daughters and sisters.  
    They are the wali amir of their household.  Our brothers have a huge responsibility of what goes on in their household.
    All I have read from Mehar is discrediting our scholars, supporting a fassiqa to attend a haram majlis, and picking and choosing what he wants from the deen, like it is some sort of game.
    M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah
     
     
  17. Like
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from Carlzone in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    True,  in HS they had uniforms of shorts and shirts, but I would wear sweats, long shirts, and long sleeves---> quite modest in my opinion. I still play soccer, but I don't need to wear leggings, shorts or whatever to play like Mo Salah. . In all honesty it is possible to play soccer in a dress too, but for basketball idk. I wouldn't do swimming of course in public. 
  18. Like
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from Islandsandmirrors in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    Yes that's is a good thing. Sports etc. is very good in my opinion-- advocating for human health etc. I am quite proud of that, but not advocating makeup, seriously :P
  19. Like
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from Zulfiqar1472 in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    Yes that's is a good thing. Sports etc. is very good in my opinion-- advocating for human health etc. I am quite proud of that, but not advocating makeup, seriously :P
  20. Like
    Futuremedstudent reacted to kingkhanwc in What do you study or have a degree in and what is your work?   
    Studying Economics and Banking .... boring zzzzz : ) 
  21. Like
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from Carlzone in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    One is not forced to become a "hijabi". There is no compulsion in religion there is Quranic evidence to back that up. If one does not want to wear hijab their choice. As for equating to fasad-- yes of course. There are so called Muslims causing trouble around the world because they call themselves Muslims-- even though any rational person would not think of them to be Muslim. Fasad or corruption in English terms can be something really simple or huge, because simple issues rise to larger issues-- that is overall the concept of corruption. There are actually you tube videos online where people pretend they are hijabis and people legitimately believe them--who do haram acts which I will not discuss. Now you may say a beauty pageant is not haram well I can say participating in music videos is not haram too then.
    You see that's how corruption starts. 
     
    I am actually surprised this topic/ discussion is still continued. 
  22. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent reacted to Ashvazdanghe in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    her pride is a fake pride ,that western propaganda system makes a caricature from Hijabi women to weaken morals of muslim society around the world ,if want spread message that Hijab is not barrier why they don't show a successful Hijabi woman in field like as science or sport ,their propaganda system is just focused on spreading lust everywhere they show women as babymaking machines in Islamic society that they change them to heroes of Fashion show not a successful teacher or scientist or physician & other stuff.
  23. Completely Agree
    Futuremedstudent got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    I'll be lying if I said I know 100% of anything. That girl in of itself is not promoting fasad- that is a bit absurd-- the ideology is promoting fasad-- the notion that anyone can choose what to make permissible and what is not permissible is fasad. I definitely understand that you are confused which is completely alright, by all means I understand why you are confused because in reality everything is confusing. I question a lot of things, but when given facts and logical evidence I become sound. It is not good to stay confused forever.
    I would never tell people what is the proper hijab because I don't know. Everyone has their own interpretations of what is hijab based on what sounds logical to them and that is between them and God. I agree with telling people to wear proper hijab is fasad, because it is not following the rules that religion is not compulsory. The truth can get muddled with everything that is why people of this era have the largest trial of all mankind. The old days during the prophet's time was much easier to follow the right path in my opinion. 
    I agree with no one knows the real truth because no one does. There is no one to ascertain the truth. Only our minds and logic and evidence. That is why every human being must study and reason with logic. 
  24. Like
    Futuremedstudent reacted to wmehar2 in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    I guess what I'm trying to say is. I don't think this girl is saying this is the way hikab should be worn, and I represent all Muslims, everyone follow what I do.  She is still a Muslim, not  a fake pretend one. 
    @dragonxx feels there's a compelling enough argument / evidence  to say otherwise with regard to her promoting fasad (not regarding her being or not being Muslim). 
    But really I'm just trying to rationalize and digest the discussion and come to a conclusion. 
    And now I think I can see why I have such a problem with all of this here, because I kind of believe no one really knows the real truth ..But here you all follow a set of beliefs. But because you are that certain of what you believe in to the point where you kind of assert what you think is right because you  believe a hundred percent that it's right,.. hence you call it promoting fasad  in what this girl is doing.
    Whereas confused me, is sayin anything anybody says right or wrong 100% definitively is promoting facade cuz i beleive no one really knows anything... 
     So telling people the proper way to wear hijab in my book is promoting fasad I guess, which or course for your  reasons will disagree with And that's cool . 
     
  25. Confused
    Futuremedstudent reacted to wmehar2 in Hijabi Muslim becomes first Miss England Finalist   
    And that immediately should be equated with her promoting fasad?
    She doesn't violate physical requirements as they vary,  but the principle?
    Perhaps analogous to Someone wearing tight fitting  clothing but still revealing curves and beauty,  which still technically covers,  yet violates the principle ?
    If one is extremely beautiful despite wearing proper hijab is she required to upgrade to full on niqab?
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