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In the Name of God بسم الله

Ayalan

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  1. Hi, My son is due to arrive in 5 weeks. I have decided to name him Ehsan (love the name so much). I've not decided on a middle name as of yet and would like something to fit nicely which is Arabic. His roots from my side will be English/Arabic and from his fathers will be irainian/Pakistani. Any suggestions would be appreciated Thank you ! x
  2. Thank you. Nice experience to share. I have thought about this before. Last year I took part in Ramadan for the first time and it was such a special experience for me. I just lack support in the place where I am at present. But never say never. I am quarter arabic so its always something that I wonder about as it does fascinate me. I have picked my sons name and he will be named an Arabic name also like mine, his name means perfection. Thanks for sharing.
  3. Thank you. No, his son will grow up to be an honest and loving person who respects others. I will make sure of that. He has no intention in doing so. He will never tell them. But I guess that's on him and he has to live with this. It's an awful shame that you can't even be honest with the people who brought you into this world. That I will never understand. I may not be religious but I am a very spiritual person and I know that my son will always come before anyone. I'd never put him in a position where he feels that he could not confide in me about anything.
  4. Hi all, My advice to tell his parents after Ramadan did not go down well. Hes not being very kind about it at all and basically saying that im going to break his family apart as they will never accept my son or me and they will cut him off (I dont know how true this is). He is also saying that if I do proceed to tell his parents I will never hear from him again so I need to know that before I make my decision. I feel its emotional blackmail, never seen such a side to him like this before. He thinks that this is a way of getting back at him (Its not) and im a malicious person for telling them. I just dont know if I can do it. Im so sad for my son but if what hes saying is true then hes saying that its going to cause more rejection for my son and I dont want that. He has no intention of being in my sons life.
  5. He said its not something he wanted- but in my eyes that right was taken away the moment I found out I was pregnant. He may not want to be with me but I am carrying his son and I dont think it has really hit home because hes continuing his life as normal without telling anyone.
  6. Sorry I just finished work. I agree with you. I guess I have just enabled him to take the easy way out. He has said that this is not something he wanted from the start and it makes me feel bad (This is just the person I am). I do feel that my son is making me stronger in this situation though. I wouldn't know where to start with telling his parents- especially as the holy month of Ramadan is coming. I live miles away from my family as I studied here so the last thing I want is to become stressed and have no support if they also decide that they want nothing to do with my son. I guess he knows im moving back to my family home and place of birth soon so hes probably thinking out of sight out of mind. But for me this will never be the case. Its caused a lot of pain for me as my heart breaks for my baby. I just want to protect him. Im glad I came onto this site because its really helping me and making me realise that im not wrong for wanting my son to have his family in his life.
  7. I know. Thank you so much. I really appreciate the advice on here. Im not a bad person and guess im just scared that this will ruin his life. But again my son is the most important person to think about here. I was made to feel bad in the beginning as he said it was cruel to bring a baby into the world without a father. Yet it's his choice not to be present. However I stick by my decision and I made the right choice. But you are definitely right.
  8. We met whist I was at university. I guess by today's actions- He never intended to marry me. He also did not tell his parents about me. I don't follow a religion, both my parents are non-Muslim. I do have a grandmother who I don't see who is Arabic
  9. I promised I would not be the one to tell his family. As my mum wanted to tell his parents. His parents do not know about me. After everything I really don't want to tear his family apart and I feel he should take responsibility and tell his parents rather than me.
  10. This is my concern. I really don't want him to lose his family. But this is only what he is telling me. He told my mum that he already told his parents however he then told me that he wasn't going to tell them as they are unwell. However he still leads a life that to me shows no remorse for what has happened. He just keeps telling me that our lives are too different and that this is the hardest thing he has ever had to do.
  11. Hi I've tried and he keeps saying that he will tell his sister first as his parents are unwell ( I don't know if this is true). All I know it that he keeps expressing how hard this is for him but reiterating that he has made his decision and I have made mine. As for support, I appreciate that he is going to help financially however it is hard for me to accept that he doesn't want to have a relationship with his son. As for me, I have a great family who support me. The moment I found out I was pregnant it became about this child and no longer about the relationship we had as I realised that our feelings towards each other were very different. Thanks
  12. You are very right. This is why I feel I should tell his parents, but again it should not be down to me. I dont think he will ever tell them if im being honest. I dont know how his mum and dad will respond to me. As a soon to be parent I would rather it come from my son than a complete stranger.
  13. Hi- Thank you He didn't explain anything about this to me. I am aware of this but this was never an option from his side. I am not muslim but ive always been curious about islam as my maternal grandmother is arabic (I dont see her at all due to family problems). Mum and dad are not muslim either. I've tried to give him time thinking that he would change his mind and want to see his son in future, but he has no intention in doing so and says that our lives are very different.
  14. Thank you. No, I do know this deep down. I also know that he is not a bad person either- but it was both our actions that brought us into this situation. One I am trying to embrace and learn from more than anything. I just feel that his parents do have a right to know the truth, but I do think the truth should come from him rather than myself. I wont lie to my son in the future. It is not fair for him to lie to his family about his son. However he said he would be on the streets if his family found out and I really dont want that. Thank you again- I have a supportive family and friends who are really helping me through this. I know my son will be loved very much.
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