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In the Name of God بسم الله


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touma86's Achievements


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  1. Dear everyone. Salamun alaykum. I read each of you and I thank you for your comments. At this point, it is not about trying to do more things to have kids. As I told you, my husband does not want more IVFs even if it's in Iran. We have definitely tried a lot of things and Allah simply does not want us to have a child. Allah does what he wills. As for me, you know IVF is a gruesome experience. I don't think I can emotionally take it anymore. We asked the office of sayyid Sistani about the requirements to make an adoptive baby mahram for us and they are very very difficult. At this point, I want to know if any of you know a Muslim shi3a couple that has gone through the process of making baby mahram through breastfeeding? Unfortunately no resources out there for couples like us from our communities. Thank you.
  2. Thank you everyone. I hope Allah rewards you all for helping me. I feel much better. @Islandsandmirrors sorry if by my logic I made you feel bad. Thanks for the perspective and I hope you will have a very happy life. I will talk to him more about adoption. I hope he agrees and Allah makes it easy for us. Pray for us brothers and sisters.
  3. Brother @Abu Hadi and @shia farm girl thank you for your kind replies, they made me feel better. Just to note, I did not say I have been married for 19 years. I got married when I was 19 and now I'm 32 so that is almost 13 years of marriage which is still a lot I know, but as good as he is, the pain I went through with IVF and all these years of waiting and waiting have almost made me crazy. I love my husband and yes we get a long perfect but I can't accept my life without having bio children and having my own family telling me I have the choice to stop suffering also confuses me. Dear sister @shia farm girl I'm very very sorry what happened to your ex that is really heart breaking and thank you for your words, I wish you a wonderful life.
  4. Thanks for the reply. My mother and 2 sisters have told me to divorce him for many years now. They say I don't deserve this pain and say any man would either get a new wife or leave the infertile wife, so they say why we women have to suffer for this when men have other choices and don't feel bad for leaving the infertile wife. but my father tells me to stay because God will help us somehow. That's why I'm confused. My husband doesn't want adopted children because he says it gets complicated when they grow older. Before I did not care if we adopt but I don't want to do it without his full heart into it. I want children because I feel more judged by my family and some friends to stay with no children and with him when I have the choice to have them with someone else.
  5. salam alaikum everyone. I don't know where to begin. Been married since I was 19 to my wonderful husband. I'm now 32 and 2 years into our marriage we were told he can't have children. We tried many rounds of IVF and nothing happened, 8 rounds to be exact and he says he doesn't want to do more. I tried trusting God and thinking one day he will give us children but now after more than 10 years have passed, I'm losing my hope because I'm getting older. Right now I feel I want to divorce him and marry someone else before it gets too late for me to have children. My husband wants the best for me and said if I want divorce for this reason it is ok but I know he is sad, I'm sad too but no choice. We don't want to adopt. I know there is no sin on me if I divorce him for this reason but I wanted to hear what other people think because I'm confused to divorce my good husband just for this. I think my question is for brothers if you would marry a sister that you know left her husband for infertility? sisters can tell me what you think too.
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