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In the Name of God بسم الله

Ani

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  1. W.salam Think about the worst thing that can happen, then think that it already happened and start from there. You need to defeat your anxiety. It's just fear. Defy it.nothing bad can come out of it. And have confidence. Like yourself. LOVE YOURSELF. Because you are perfect as Allah made you. Are you sure you don't have people who insult you or put you down with words in your life ? Because that is a big factor for anxiety and lack of self confidence. For me the worst thing is death. So every attack I used to have I told my self that maximum I would die ...whats worse than that... And you are enough for yourself. I know this doesn't sound right but only people who believe that go on and make loads of friends. Because no one likes weak people. Just be yourself. If someone will be worthy of ur friendship they will stay ... otherwise it's their loss. Don't worry too much and don't force it... People find that horrible and they start making fun It's alright if you are not able to make things right socially now... everything will be alright eventually.. insha'Allah.
  2. You will find someone way better than him insha'Allah. Just hold on. Glad you found out. Thanks for telling us
  3. W.salam Don't take it too seriously.you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You just said you add work colleagues on Facebook so if anything comes up you just tell him that you have other co workers added as well on facebook. No big deal. It's not your personal account. Go to work, and make him understand that you r not bothered. Just ignore him and treat him like a normal colleague. So after that if he is still interested in you he'll definitely do something about it. Don't mention the Facebook thing. But i know that for ppl on Facebook ,FB is a big deal...so take it as a sign if he declined your request take it as a NO. I don't know about his reasons to decline though..maybe he is just a flirt..and wants to have that thing only at work and doesn't want to have anything to do with you after work. And don't be harsh on yourself for a stupid guy...he is not worth it.
  4. No, nothing about faith. learnt a lot because of a personal issue. i don't talk about being a shia to anyone yet. I am still learning. And i don't think i need to announce it in a loud speaker that i understand bits of real islam now. It's personal. It's between me and Allah SWT. We don't need to tell other people what we believe in. If we can show it through good gestures and being better human beings then that's different.
  5. These days i just assure myself that Allah knows me . And that's enough. We don't need to explain anything to anyone. Even though i get that burning sensation in my heart but i guess that's what patience is. It's very difficult but definitely there is a big reward for it. Getting angry is very easy. We shouldn't have to justify ourselves. Some people are just ignorant. Giving justification and explanation to people is like bumping your head against the wall. You just get hurt. And i think about Imam Ali A.S. how everyone was against them but they had patience ... Imam Ali A.S. were the most mistreated and misunderstood man in the history of the world and they didn't do anything for their rights even though it would have been so easy just to show us the righteous path.
  6. Ani

    What should i do?

    Talk to her. Be sincere. If she wants to work things out she could help you. Maybe she could even try to change and not make you feel as you've been feeling. What is exactly you want to do ? Do you want to leave her and get married to another person or are you just bored of regular married life. Not saying that you are a bad person. Just talk to her and try to find a solution. Marriage work both ways. You cannot expect her to do everything you want and certainly she shouldn't be doing whatever she feels like ignoring you. You should find a middle ground. Men think children are their property but mothers have equal rights on them and maybe even more. Tell her you are having these thoughts specially if she is a good wife and a good mother. May you find peace
  7. @Enlightened Follower i see that you do not want to delete your post. It's fine i think. But just to have a clear mind that i do not ,can not and inshallah will never hate all the entities you mentioned above.Can not even think about saying that to someone what you wrote up there.It was very cruel. They are not normal men. They are devine.Men of the current world do not even come close to them. I am alive because of Ahlul Bait A.S. I would be nothing if not for their love and mercy. Clearing this because don't want to have anything to do here anymore. Don't want this to be brought next to me on the judgement day. Peace to all.
  8. Astaghfirullah ! Can you please delete this post of urs because it is hurting me very much. I am sorry if I hurt you in any way but I did write in my post that if not for all these Beings I would hate every men. But as I said my english is not good so can you please not assume on my behalf.thank you and I apologize to you again. Prophets were all men so I know they are the best of Allah's creation. My personal experience with normal men has not been good.thats all.I will not post say or write anything in this topic anymore just delete your post kindly.thank you.
  9. If you feel this way it's surely the fault of people who are around you who make you feel like this. Stop giving value to what other people say or think about you.Be Careless.thats the only way to survive in this cruel society. Certainly, Allah has not created you aimlessly nor left you as useless - Imam Ali AS And if a greater being like Imam Ali A.S. said that believe me that it is the truth. And Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others. You are very important , you only have to believe it. Think about all the things you have or you can do. But it's better to be humble than arrogant.
  10. @Enlightened Follower Men have been doing that for ages. And no...no man stands against a man if he has done wrong to woman. Its slways the woman who takes the stand for herself and then people start supporting her. no one ridiculous a man who beats an innocent woman, rape her or kills her for Honor. Men think women are their property.And that needs to change. i know countless stories of men doing the wrong things and waiting for them to become right. i have seen first my grandmother then my mother and even me...all my life i have seen women being oppressed and dictated by men and i am sorry to say but i am that woman who hates men. I hate them and till now i have not met even a single man who was able to change my view or thinking. If not for all the Prophets and Prophet Mohammed SAWW, Imam Ali A.S and all the men in Ahlul Bait i would think that Allah never made good men. and as for the guy in the picture with Emma Watson, he doesn't look like a stud. Not for the meaning i know of the word but then my English is poor and i might be wrong.
  11. @Ashvazdanghe @Enlightened Follower it's incredible how there are so many other issues in this world and you guys have problems if a girl decides to speak up or demand equal rights. Feminism has nothing to do with men becoming feminine. Men have been oppressing women since the beginning of humanity. I think that men are still men are not able to accept women wanting to be their equal.how are women hurting guys even if they are hating men, religion, and promoting non scientific gender identities. As far as I know men have been doing this forever. And if by nasty works even a single woman gets the respect or justice which is her right. I think it's fair enough.
  12. Not for all of them. Mostly in the asian countries women believe that feminism is downgrading men. And just because of some stupid women you cannot blame a movement.At least somewhere in this world some good is happening because of this.
  13. Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes.[1][2]This includes seeking to establish educational and professional opportunities for women that are equal to those for men -Wikipedia So how being equal with men can spoil a woman? Are you against women having equal rights, status and respect as men in our society/world ?
  14. @Saraharvey W. Salam I have your same issues.i feel so exhausted and tired all the time that i don't even wanna get out of the bed.This is Anxiety. When ever you have negative thoughts just think about the worst thing that can happen... according to me, the worst thing that can happen to a living human being that can end everything is dying. So Everytime your mind thinks about turning every situation negative you think that maximum you will die.and that will be the end of everything. Everyone has to die so forcing your mind to think about death might control your negative thinking and give you peace. And another thing you can do is exercise. Do not sit with hands in hands. Always have something to do and if you don't go running you can start exercising at home.keep moving.Find new hobbies. I know this is extremely difficult because in the state you are you don't wanna do anything but you have to force yourself against your condition.Do not leave your mind/brain empty as they said an empty brain is a house for the devil. And remember your mind can only think...and not do anything.it doesn't has the power to do anything. You control your body. Your entire self.Seek help in Prayers/Salah. Read Quran Translation whenever you can and try to understand what you read, it will heal you Inshallah. You are not incurable.and i am sure with your husband by your side you are going to be an excellent wife Inshallah. You will take care of yourself,your husband and even your house. You have to prove your mind wrong and be strong. You have to believe in yourself. You deserve to be happy and live a normal life and you will inshallah. And if after trying everything you see that your situation is not changing you can always go back on medication. Taking some meds to feel fine is more then okay and you don't have to believe yourself to be sick. There are millions of people in this world going on with your same situation. So the best thing you can do is : Always have something to do. Keep yourself busy.
  15. Walekum Alsalam May Allah give you patience and peace.Ameen. This world is temporary and all of are going to die eventually. You wrote that he passed away on 9 June 2017.it been almost a year.You see that time doesn't stop.You have to be strong.You need to find a reason to live your remaining days. Was he ill or was his an unexpected death ? The best thing you can do is pray for him.Read Quran pray and send him blessings. And you have to believe that he is in a better place now.He is near to Allah.And one day you will join him.You will see your father again till then hold tight for the people who are still in your life.Be thankful to Allah in every situation. And you said that he died with his head in your lap.This was going to happen.His time in this world was over.So why don't you see it this way that you were lucky to be by his side.there are people who are not even able to see their loved ones one last time. So be strong.Your father lived his life, i am sure he did the best he could.Now is your turn.Are you married ? Do you have Children ? If yes then you have to live for them. Your father lived his life and now is your turn.Remember you are going to die as well but till you are alive why don't you try to live your life just as your father did when he was alive.be there for your loved ones.because i know that if you are suffering you are not able to live your life normally. And if you are not married,set a goal..think about your future.i know everything might seem useless but if you are alive you have to go on so why not be courageous.pray as much as you can for your father.Have faith.Your father is in a better place now inshallah. And remember death is not bad.Nor is the end. It's just a start.A start for eternity.so why don't you rejoice thinking about the time you will see/meet your father again. They say losing a parent creates a hole in your heart.it can never be filled but you have to learn to live with it.the pain is going to be there. Just try to not think about it all the time. You pray for your father thats the best thing and all you can do for him. If you keep thinking about him ,crying and suffering then that doesn't your father help at all.i am sure he loved you very much so won't his soul be disturbed by your current state ? You do not have to think about him all the time.keep him in your mind but try to do something else.distract yourself.think about other things.when ever you feel like thinking about your father think about Jannah. Read Quran Translation. It gives immense peace. Allah gives and Allah takes back.All of us belong to him.you must be happy for the life your father lived as he left you behind to pray for him because there are people in this world who live and die and they don't have anyone else.i am sure your father lived a complete life. If you are living in the house he died in try to change the pleace for a bit. It might help because your mind sees your father's death as tragic and it was a trauma for you so go somewhere else for sometime if you can. Another thing you can do is read about Karbala.Read about Imam Hussain A.S. life.because our suffering is nothing compared to what they went through.Read what Bibi Zainab A.S. went through. And i apologize if something i said hurt you in any way because you are in a very sensitive state. My prayers for you and your father.
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