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In the Name of God بسم الله

Vindemiatrix

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Everything posted by Vindemiatrix

  1. In your personal opinion, what would you define a man as? Also what would you define as being a mother to a husband in your opinion? So would you say it's a 50/50 blame or...?
  2. I think this is definitely not the sole reason, but one of many. This can definitely not be the only reason because there are children at 10, 11 who care claiming they are gay, lesbian and all the rest of it when they haven't even thought about getting married. Being gay is a trend for them, they have been brainwashed. There is some truth to this and it reminds me of a conversation I had with people in my school a few years ago. They became so stressed out by girls and how every girl rejected them for marriage and how every girl seemed so complex, difficult to read and understand that they said: "We wish we could place the brain and mind of a male into the body of the female, because surely there is no attainable female for us". That's the start I believe for this particular method of becoming gay, it starts with that but then it gets worse and they go to an actual male. In other cases I've heard of people becoming transgender for this reason, they're so psychologically damaged by the fact that women are unattainable for them that they become one themselves in order to get "a woman". لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِٱللَّٰهِ
  3. @Haji 2003 @Ashvazdanghe I do agree with enjoining the good and forbidding the evil where possible but right now in my country, if you try to stand up to the lgbt, you will be arrested and sent to prison for up to 4 years. If I went to prison, I could never get a job which could support a family due to my criminal record, therefore I would not be able to do my part in rasing the next generation of Shia. It would also be difficult to worship Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) both as a direct result of prison but also as an indirect result after prison where it would be difficult to earn a living. I do understand the difference between the signs of emergence and the conditions, I was just talking about the signs... In my original post I discussed preparing for the Imam (عليه السلام), alas this is all I can really do, I can forbid the evil in the next generation of our family by keeping them educated on the evils and I can enjoin the good by raising them as good Muslims but beyond that, I will be compromising my ability to enjoin any good or forbid any evil at all. My preparation for the Imam (عليه السلام) is just raising as many Muslims as I can in the future and keeping them protected from the evil. You can think of it as preparation of a mini army, a unit, who forbid the evil and enjoin the good in their own households. Thousands of households. Together we are stronger.
  4. But I am doing okay with just my household though. Aside from that I just interact with professors at uni, bank tellers, shop keepers, taxi drivers etc. Don't have any friends anymore. As for society... Yeah I think I just focus on the household tbh...
  5. Enough for me, but might not be enough for others I guess. Why do you need a community again? What is meant by the community and society? Personally I just go to university, come home, study etc go to sleep and repeat. It's going to be no different when I start work. Don't really have much contact with society and I do t really understand what is the need for that beyond basic things such as banks, shops, medical centres etc.
  6. It's ironic. The Muslims who yearn for the 12th Imam (عليه السلام) are complaing about the lgbt. Yes, the homosexuals engage in haram acts which have been completely forbidden by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and His Messenger (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم). But come on people, you had to have known this was a long time coming. It is surely one of the signs of the reappearance of our 12th Imam (عليه السلام). Yes it is difficult to see in all its evilness but this is exactly what they are describing when they say the world we become so bad and difficult to live in for the believer. In a way you should actually be happy that the lgbt are spreading like wildfire, obviously it's disgusting but that the same time it's literally a sign of the 12th Imam (عليه السلام) and the end times. Instead of focusing on the lgbt, you must start preparing for the Imam's (عليه السلام) arrival. TL,DR: The spread of the lgbt is disgusting but inevitable, you can't stop it, it is a sign of the reappearance of the 12th Imam (عليه السلام), prepare for him.
  7. پورنم الہ آبادی نے لکھا صابری برادران نے پڑھا
  8. Death is just the beginning.

  9. Decaying of society. People pray for the reappearance of the 12th Imam (عليه السلام) but they don't actually understand how bad the world will become before his arrival. Today, the world seems very bad to us but it will only get harder and harder before the reappearance. There is a Hadith I think, that says something along the lines of: In the end, one of the signs of the reappearance is that the earth will get so bad that people will walk past graves in the cemetery and wish to exchange places with thise in the grave. Another Hadith mentions: Life will get so bad that people will be so scared to even come out of their homes at the end times. < In this one I'm not sure if people is refering to believers or people in general. There's no way to save society, you can only save yourself.
  10. I was there not too long ago, I'm still in education actually, so I understand exactly what you are going through. I pray that when I have children, my understanding remains unchanged. So you're in school, now for the most part things are going to be quite hard but there is just one thing which will keep you going and that is "education is the pathway to wealth and therefore the pathway to marriage". All wealth is given by Allah, and in this day and age, education is one way of attaining it. When I was in school and my parents went to work, they would tell me that in the same way my father is being rewarded for providing for his family, I am being rewarded for working hard to get to that point. When I got to the age (16) where I wanted to be married, people would of course tell me "You're too young", "Focus on your studies", "You're not mature". Now this was years ago but I still remember the rage I felt when I heard these kind of words, I broke doors, furniture, walls even. That is how a 16 year old with "more" uncontrollable feelings than the average person reacts when you tell them there's nothing that can be done for them until several years time. Those days are long gone now though and I have settled down now, instead I just keep the end goal in mind and it's solution. Any time I'm feeling sad or depressed, I tell myself "End goal - become financially stable. Pathway - work hard." it sounds very simple, but when my mind is scattered then it helps to set me back on track and get myself together. Right now, even though it's hard, for you the outlook is good, you have a great chance to get to a financially stable point. Of course there is the difficulty of not being married. When you're in school or education and you aren't married it is very tough, it is still tough for me. The battle has lasted 9 years as of today in my case. In those 9 years, I have not come up with any solution to remain chaste, people say this and that. I have heard it all, several times even. If anyone finds something which works, let us know. I have not found a solution in 9 years. The best we can do is repent, keep the end goal in mind and keep working hard towards it. I can offer practical help in the form of free academic assistance in any of the sciences (maths, physics, chemistry and biology), if you or anyone reading this requires help then just drop me a private message.
  11. Basically there are two categories of offering to the women. The first is the Islamic obligated and the second is her personal preference. First section: Islamically, the basic things you'll need are (aside from religion): 1) Financially stability 2) A reasonable level of mental and psychological stability 3) Ability to sexually satisfy 4) A reasonable amount of intelligence These two factors alone will enable you to handle the responsibilities of the husband including raising the family, providing for them with food, shelter, education, health care. Also looking after your family from a emotional point of view too. These points will also allow you to deal with the general stress and problems you will encounter in life. I usually would not include point three but honestly, every single piece of Islamic literature I have read, goes into significant detail about the importance of this. Nevertheless, it is the one thing young males fear more than the other two points, it gets even more confusing when some women take this point to be very important whereas others would not even include it as a point. Some people are never able to marry on this Earth because of their financial situation, in the same way surely some men will be in a negative situation regarding point 3. La hawla wala quwwata illa billah. Second section: Now your other factors, the personal preference which will vary from woman to woman but honestly you don't have to posses any of these things, it's just that certain women will not marry you if you don't. Here we go, including but not limited to: 1) A good physical appearance (this topic is so subjective it is honestly beyond any words I can write). You've got height, weight, appearance, beard, eyes etc etc. 2) More money, there's a surprise. Some, not all, women will require a big mahr, big house, big extra allowance, big car. Ehhh you get the picture. 3) A degree or profession eg doctor, dentist etc. Honestly as long as someone is of average intelligence, they've got nothing to complain about. 4) An unshared family home, honestly as long as everyone has a private space, what's the problem? Should they really have got married to in laws which they can't tolerate or in laws which can't tolerate them? Allah has given them a brain to avoid these situations in the first place, we know divorce is hated. Although there are some exceptionally rare genuine cases. 5) The list just goes on. Be especially careful of this second section, often times, you can learn all you need to know about a person through their marriage requirements. Are they looking for the points in the first section? Are they not so extreme with the second section? Or are they very extreme? Ideally you want a woman who is mainly interested in the first section, the things that actually matter. And us men should also strive to keep the first section of the upmost importance. I'll let you know, lol. Honestly it's been about 9 years since I hit puberty and about 4 years since I started wanting to get married. I still have a ways to go and I'm ever changing, but I'm constantly refining myself and my beliefs, working hard to be an ideal husband. Now the change of myself is very gradual and not as rapid though. It has got better but there are times... Difficult times... For those times I have tried many things over the years, there's not one singular thing which has helped but I have kept a book where I just literally transfer my thoughts onto the paper other times I recite a phrase I created to help keep me going, sometimes that works other times it doesn't. You're probably not going to like hearing this but "you've got to find what works for you". Other times I just keep telling myself things such as "It will be okay one day" etc. But we keep going and fighting for a better tomorrow. It sounds clichéd but that's exactly what will keep you going. It's clichéd for a reason. May Allah keep you and the rest of the troubled youth strong. note: apologies for any grammar/spelling issues
  12. How do cretinous concepts such as "noble families" still even exist?
  13. Life before Adam (عليه السلام) in the Quran. He talks about the "several Adams" and that we are the "last of them". Never heard about the 70,000 planets though, quite interesting.
  14. Completely agree with this ^ And lo and behold the post directly underneath from a syed: I haven't met a single syed who isn't arrogant and discriminatory. Most syeds say their daughters cannot marry a non syed, I say good why would we want to marry people who practice something which isn't mentioned anywhere in Islam anyway.
  15. But you can't say this, what about the women who don't have children, don't have much pain during their period, don't have pain after sex and have a good husband who helps with housekeeping + looking after children? Such women do exist. Not every person is the same, some have it more difficult than others. Some men will have it easier than women and vice versa, but you can't make a general statement for the whole gender like "women have it more difficult than men" and vice versa. By the way this can happen to men too. But I can never do that and a woman can never do that for men, it's impossible to truly know what someone else is going through, both men and women lead tough lives at certain times. I respect women and their difficulties and women should respect men and their difficulties. We shouldn't argue over who has it harder, that doesn't help anything it's for Allah to decide and he will do justice accordingly. A lot of men around here will take insult from such a statement. Just saying....
  16. Could you share them? I am a student of science, I haven't studied evolutionary biology or paleontology a great deal but perhaps I can provide some insight.
  17. See, this ^ I agree with but not what you said before. To be honest I don't know if the women who insulted my appearance were being unreasonable or reasonable, I have not shared my picture here so no one knows, not even myself, I thought I looked normal but now I don't know. As for the economic situation it's average so those women would have been richer. As for the friends thing, that's nice, I like the idea. "Desires" are really troublesome and it would be nice to think of the wife as a friend for the most part, if Allah gives me a wife. So then if I have to marry a woman who has a similar level of beauty and a similar economic situation to me then they must care about appearance and how much I earn, right?
  18. All I'm saying is women have insulted my appearance and aren't happy with my average salary, that's all...
  19. But the brother can literally just say "No words can describe what men go through", his desires could be eating him alive, giving him depression, suicidal thoughts etc. The point is no else knows except for him and Allah. So it doesn't make sense to say "You don't know what women go through" when you don't know what men go through. Someone can never say that women have it more difficult than men or vice versa, no human has been born twice and lived a full life as each male and female, it's impossible.
  20. See, reading stuff like this genuinely terrifies me. You spend a over decade (for the average male) fighting your desires every second of the day for the sake of Allah, get married and all to no avail. How can you go on then? I know some difficulties remain with you throughout your life and you'll be rewarded for enduring them in the next life but I didn't think "desires" was one of them since we have been provided with the solution for it here on earth, the marriage.
  21. If that was true then there would be no single men on earth.
  22. Some amazing lectures here, they describe life before Adam and Evolution using the Quran:
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