mh7493

Thank you for this information. I understand a little better, but of course, I still have many questions. If a woman needs her father's permission to marry, why does she not also need her father's permission to divorce? If the husband is looking out for his interests, shouldn't another man stand up for the wife if she does not want to divorce? Is the dowry given to the family or is the dowry supposed to help support the wife if she receives a divorce. What is the plan to take care of the woman and her children after a divorce. I'm sorry maybe this is too many questions to answer at once.

Can someone explain how it is so easy to get a divorce, both for the first husband and for the temporary husband? If a marriage are usually planned by two families and it is a community of people joining together, how can that all be taken away so easily? In England, can two people get married and divorced in so short a time?

Wow, I feel heartbroken for you. What do you think you will do next? Does your family know how you feel? Do they know how to talk to him about this?

That's great! I wish I lived in a place where I could walk around. Everything in the US is spread out so we need to drive. What do you like to do at the gym? I like doing yoga a lot.

I don't know the stigma in your family about seeing a counselor, but I waited way too long to go into therapy. I should have gone when I was a teenager. You might not think this is an option for you, but it made a big difference in my life. The people who have already commented have given great suggestions for taking care of yourself and seeking spiritual understanding. These things are important too. You are certainly not alone in these feelings. If you would like someone to talk to who is a little bit older, I am available!

I'm glad to hear your midterm was ok. I hope you get the grade you wanted. I see the quote you have as your signature. I was wondering what it means to you. Is there a way you hope to live ecstatically?? I've never heard this quote before and the words are beautiful.

I am so sorry that you are going through this! I don't know if you would like my opinion, but I am a non-Muslim from the western world and what you have described is not acceptable in my eyes. The argument that you have to be a certain way (less religious) because you live in Western country is opposite of why these countries have certain freedoms. You should be free to express your religion, not conforming to the way people around you are acting. Yes, if he works with women, he will have to talk with women and be polite and professional with them. He might even eat lunch with his co-workers as a group. However, depending on his job, he does not need to be alone with them to take extra breaks to be with them to be accepted in western culture. Emailing someone more than just a simple "How are you?" after you move is not normal. This does not sound professional. From what you are describing, it sounds like you don't feel like he is caring for you. I don't know how you want to handle this, but I would suggest finding a trusted person who can come and talk to you both- counselor, religious leader, trusted friend. If he tells you to see a counselor for you "craziness" maybe you can try to go together.

I am also a single woman and I would say that it is a very big, life-changing step to get married. If you are worried about loneliness as a single person, I have heard married people say that marriage is a lonely place as well. You will have hopes that your husband will love and understand and care for you in certain ways and sometimes he will fail. This can be just as painful or more so than being alone. Also, if you have children with him, these problems might get bigger. Marriage is such a wonderful thing, but it is also hard. A lot of people who might be encouraging you to get married have not lived as single adults, so they really don't know what it feels like for you to be single. If you think marriage is the right decision for you, you need to be very, very careful to pick the husband who will understand when you tell him your fears and things that you are not comfortable with. If you can find that, it could be a beautiful experience!! However, it is also a beautiful thing to remain single and help your family and use your energy to do other good useful things. Don't rush this decision.

I have the next few days off of work, so my goal is to SLEEP a lot, try some new recipes, learn something new, and read a good book. Any suggestions??

Staying healthy is so much work! What kinds of things to you like to do to stay healthy?

That's my goal too! I hope you were able to do this!!