Jump to content

2Timeless

Advanced Members
  • Content Count

    1,101
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    2

Reputation Activity

  1. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Akbar673 in Marriage advice   
    MashAllah...congratulations !!!
    You have to understand that many people don't necessarily emote very well. What you are saying is an exact copy of what my wife would say to me early on in our relationship (not just after we were married, but also during our engagement). It wasn't that I didn't feel love for her nor that I had become disinterested. It was just that I'm not one of those lovey dovey types. I'm more of the opposite, I don't emote very well all of the time, but since my wife mentioned that to me I actively make an effort to show my love and affection not only towards her but also towards my kids. Its not something that comes naturally to me but being in a relationship equals evolving as a person as well as being respectful of the nature and personality of whomever you are with. Most of the time people think I'm in a bad mood because I always look so serious and look like I'm always sulking but its only the look on my face when I've got something on my mind.
    Exactly the same thing that I mentioned above. He's making an effort to change his nature and personality for you. Its not an easy thing because it goes against his normal behavior as a person but clearly he is making an effort due to him realizing that he is in a relationship now.
    Again, this is not that he doesn't love or care for you. Its just his nature as a person based on the events in his life which shaped his nature and personality.
    That is a very natural response since you mentioned you are a sensitve person. However, please keep in mind that the world is full of different personality types. Just because he is not being overly emotive does not mean he doesn't feel love for you. Many people have taken the route of placing their emotions behind logic due to experiences in their lives which taught them to rely more on logic than emotion. Its a defense mechanism to protect themselves from being hurt.
    Please understand the nature of the person you are engaged to. Arguing won't solve anything. Please just set some time to sit down and speak as adults and share all of your opinions, feelings and thoughts on the way the relationship is going so far. Mention anything and everything that you are thinking so not only will he understand and respect where you are coming from but it will also afford him the change to do two things. Firstly, it will give him a better understanding of how you are as a person regarding sensitivity and emotions. Secondly, it will allow him to realize that while he needs a better understanding of you as a person he also needs to perhaps adjust his mannerisms with respect to how you are. Any relationship is a two way street that involves both communicating with  and respecting the other person's opinions and feelings.
    Again, you need to communicate your feelings and why you are doing the things that you are doing. People that don't emote naturally tend to get annoyed when its brought up over and over again. I know I do. You're in the early stages of a relationship and this is the period where you both learn anything and everything about each other. Its not an easy process, but it has to be a respectful process involving maturity and open mindedness because you are learning the true nature of the other person. No one is perfect, we all have our flaws but we need to respect that the other person isn't perfect either and prone to making mistakes that can be corrected or accepted as a natural flaw.
    Again, please see above. He does have feelings towards you otherwise he wouldve ended the relationship. 
    As I mentioned above. Please sit down with him and have a mature conversation in which you share all of your feelings about everything with him. Then offer him the opportunity to speak uninterrupted about his feelings about everything. After you have both spoken your peace then sit and discuss each item that was brought up by both of you. Mention your opinion on it and allow him to speak on his opinion. Then both of you should say that you want to find the common ground on the topics you are not in agreement on while respecting the other person's views on it. You won't find common ground on everything and there will be things that you will not want to budge on while there are things he will not want to budge on. That's completely normal. You both just have to be respectful of the other's opinions and move ahead.
    Talk to him first and then make that type of decision. You simply don't have the proper information to make that type of decision at this time.
    Everyday of my married life. A relationship is a two way street. Its not a romance novel or a Bollywood movie. The real world is quite different but its not anything that can't be overcome. Mutual respect and understanding is the key factor in any successful relationship. The realization and acceptance of that is the day the relationship actually begins, not the day the engagement ring is slipping on a finger.
    See above.
  2. Respectfully Disagree
    2Timeless reacted to starlight in Marriage advice   
    @Justme123 I don't see anything wrong with his behavior. In my opinion after the initial two months the honeymoon phase or the initial stage of falling in love had ended and things started going back towards normal which you perceived as disinterest. He might be thinking of you as clingy or too needy.
    I think your and his expectations from a relationship are different, that's all,nothing wrong with either of you. If you don't think you are compatible just break off the engagement. 
  3. My Prayers
    2Timeless reacted to Justme123 in Marriage advice   
    Salams brothers and sisters 
    I have been engaged for the past 5 months. The first 2 months went perfectly smooth, everything was perfect and I found that my fiancé is someone I would tick all the boxes for a future husband. Although, after 2 months I felt as though he was showing me less attention and affection, I noticed the change in his voice (excitement wise) and noticed that he would spend less time talking to me throughout the day, his happiness was different,  and then I felt lonely in the relationship. I would tell him how I would feel and wait for changes from him. He would argu back and say that he isn’t doing anything wrong, but would agree to change his behaviour towards me. He would change for a day or 2, then go back to sounding as though speaking to me is a chore.  Im a very sensitive person, and very observant, so I picked up on his change of behaviour and felt very hurt by it. We then went through arguments nearly every 2nd day. I feel like his annoyed with me, not excited anymore, and is becoming stricter on me when it comes to outings, I feel like whenever I mention topics to me he goes against me and always has something to say back. He gets annoyed when I mention his change of behaviour. Although when I change my behaviour and show less attention to him, he starts saying things like “you’re not excited to see me anymore” “you don’t want to talk to me” etc. honestly it’s so weird and I’m getting emotionally drained. It’s like his the one who needs the attention and I don’t. I personally believe that time, affection and attention is really important in a relationship/marriage, and emotional support, especially when your significant other is understanding and caring from their hearts. And I feel like his doesn’t have any of that towards me anymore. The things we fight over is so silly but it’s making both of us pull away. We have spoken to eachother about fixing it so many times but has never worked out and is getting worse. I feel like sometimes I really want to leave him, because I believe that I put too much into this relationship and not feeling like I’m getting the same effort back, but deep down for some reason something is stopping me. And he also feels the same way as we discussed this together, because we’re worried that our marriage life is going to be based around fighting constantly because of our different mindsets and emotions or are we going to end up understanding and accepting our differences? Has anyone ever gone through this? What should I do? 
    Thank you! Wsalam 
  4. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Akbar673 in How many carats was your diamond ring?   
    Not going to comment on how many carats the ring was, but the wife liked it when she saw it so I guess it was good enough...
    Also, its not the size of the stone or the size of the ring that matters. Its the meaning and realization of the bond it creates that truly matters. A ring with the smallest stone can be priceless in value to the wearer if its a sign of the happiness and joy that they have found with their soulmate, while the biggest and gaudiest ring will mean nothing if happiness and love is absent from the marriage. 
  5. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Ibn Al-Ja'abi in الحكايات والامثال تغير الاحوال (Arabic Literature with English Translations)   
    Salams,
    A difficult couplet showing the complexity of Arabic vocabulary:
    ألم ألم ألم ألم بدائه إن أن آن آن آن أوانه
    It's vocalized:
    alamun alamma alam ulima bidāʾihi / in anna ānun āna ānu awānihi
    It means:
    وجع أحاط بي لم أعلم بمرضه / إذا توجّع صاحب الألم حان وقت شفائه
    "A pain encompasses me and I do not know it's cause / When the pained expresses his pain the time of his healing nears."
    Wassalam
  6. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Sumerian in الحكايات والامثال تغير الاحوال (Arabic Literature with English Translations)   
    فرد جحا عليه قائلاً: وما العجب في ذلك؟ القرية التي يشرب فيها الفئران العسل لا تستبعد أن تحمل النسور فيها حصانًا وبضائع!
    So Juha replied to him saying: "And what is strange about this? In the village which rats drink honey [in], it is not far-fetched that vultures carry horses and luggage".
    ________
    This was the response of the famous character Juha, who supposedly left his honey with a merchant. When he came back to the merchant to ask him about his honey that he left over, the merchant said the rats drank it all. Juha was angry and clearly didn't believe such nonsense.
    So when he caught the merchant loading up his luggage onto his carriage, he quickly took his move and stole the load and the horse behind the merchant's back.
    Then he came back to the merchant and saw him upset, so he asked the merchant why he seems sad. The merchant told him he had just been robbed off his horse and load.
    Juha said he saw vultures carrying his load and horse.
    The merchant asked how is that possible, so Juha hit him back with that killer response which I translated at the top 
  7. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Ibn Al-Ja'abi in الحكايات والامثال تغير الاحوال (Arabic Literature with English Translations)   
    Salams,
    A piece of Arabic prose I really like about the qualities of the world. This is something only properly appreciated in Arabic. The first two lines:
    "If the world draws near it tests, and if it withdraws it exhausts."
    It's filled with what are known as أفعال معتلة, or weak verbs. These verbs have defective root letters (و, ي, ى) and experience mutations in their conjugation (though they are still entirely regular, they have their own set of rules). So it seems as if each second verb, which is the consequence of the world, is the first verb, which si the act of the world, just cut in half. It shows how remarkable the Arabic language is in its ability to make such clever poetry and prose.
    From Mawsu'ah Hada'iq al-Ans (Qom, 1400 AH) by al-Kashani.

  8. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Sumerian in الحكايات والامثال تغير الاحوال (Arabic Literature with English Translations)   
    Post your fave Arabic sayings and stories and poems, and it doesn't matter in which format or dialect you post them. But there's a catch: You have to translate it and explain it (if you can). lol
  9. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Ibn Al-Ja'abi in الحكايات والامثال تغير الاحوال (Arabic Literature with English Translations)   
    The hilarious backstory behind the Arabic idiom  "أحمق من هبنقة" (Aḥmaqu min Habannaqah -- stupider than Habannaqah). It's after a comically stupid Bedouin man from Banī Qays b. Thaʿlabah named Yazīd b. Thawrān. The first story is about how his brother had a necklace he would wear, and one day as Yazīd slept, his brother put the necklace on him. When Yazīd awoke he exclaimed "You are me, and I am you!" The Second story is about how when he lost his camel he had put out a "Juʿālah" (essentially a notice) for it, and as the reward he said that whoever finds it may keep it. When he was asked why even seek it then. He replies "then where would be the sweetness of finding it", meaning that there's some pleasure in at least knowing where his camel is.
    Jamharat al-Amthāl v. 1 pg. 309

  10. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Umm Amira in broken promise   
    Don't feel bad dear  Allah is the Most Merciful and he forgives all sins. His mercy prevails over his wrath. Say astaghfirillah 100 times and talk to Allah in sujood. He will definitely forgive you in shaa Allah if you are sincere and may even turn your bad deed into a good one. Think well of Allah. Allah is happy when his slaves think well of Him.  
  11. Haha
    2Timeless reacted to BowTie in Did Hezbollah totally abandon his original goal?   
    As Lebanese we are happy the way we are at the moment.  
  12. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Islandsandmirrors in I hate this Ummah   
    I can say whatever I want—you do not tell me what to do. This Ummah is an absolute disgrace, online and offline. 
    Everyone can read your posts. You said I should have haya and be ashamed to which you know nothing about. If you had properly read my post, you’d know I wasn’t graphic. But no, you skimmed through it, and proceeded to write a very hurtful and rude post without even thinking. 
  13. My Prayers
    2Timeless reacted to Islandsandmirrors in I hate this Ummah   
    A person in another thread, when I mentioned the topic of sexual disorders and how shaming someone makes them develop this condition, said I should be ashamed and etc. it brought back SO much pain and this was the final straw for me. I HATE what Muslims have become. I HATE their non-Islamic attitudes with regards to cultural taboos. I hate the ummah’s self-righteousness. I hate how unsympathetic and cold some people can be. Another user said to someone “good for you for losing custody of your child.”
    You all supporting people like this should be ashamed of yourselves. You wear the hijab or lower your gaze, yet you have no problem hurting other people, mods and regular users alike. Your actions have nothing to do with Islam and everything to do with culture. I pray that Allah gives you the ounce of pain I’ve felt, and I pray that you go through what I did, so that you know what it feels like and you never open your big mouths again. 
    We have people asking the stupidest questions like, “two people committed Zina and had children—should we cease contact with the CHILDREN?” Instead of focusing on Islamic issues, we have crazy people who gang up on others.
    I don’t care if I get banned. Allah is enough for me. Even if I end up the most alone person on the planet, at least I’ll inshallah be a better example than what some of you people are. 
  14. Sad
    2Timeless got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Turbah vandalised at University of Toronto prayer room   
    This happens all around the world, I've heard about it from friends too. Some people apparently kick turbahs while Shias are praying, or throw them in the bin, or turbahs mysteriously disappear from prayer rooms.
  15. Sad
    2Timeless got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Turbah vandalised at University of Toronto prayer room   
    This happens all around the world, I've heard about it from friends too. Some people apparently kick turbahs while Shias are praying, or throw them in the bin, or turbahs mysteriously disappear from prayer rooms.
  16. Sad
    2Timeless got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Turbah vandalised at University of Toronto prayer room   
    This happens all around the world, I've heard about it from friends too. Some people apparently kick turbahs while Shias are praying, or throw them in the bin, or turbahs mysteriously disappear from prayer rooms.
  17. Like
    2Timeless reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in Masturbation issue   
    Salam,
    I've noticed a lot of the youth discussing masturbation here, but with a very negative attitude. It's all about complaining as if the women are responsible for their addiction. If these youth fail to plan their life accordingly, then it's their issue.
    I don't want to make this a thread on how to get rid of masturbation  (there's thousands of threads). 
    I want to just let everyone know that complaining is not going to do anything. Also don't publicize this sin in front of the sisters - I'm surprised no one complains (just because it's by a male?).
    Make changes in your life, get married, find a hobby etc. This is the solution.
  18. My Prayers
    2Timeless reacted to notme in How To: Assimilation of Reverts into our Communities (Discussion 2019, Week 5)   
    I gave up. For many years I tried to join various communities and was either rejected outright ("We are a group only for [insert ethnicity]") or excluded and ostracized. I tend toward reclusivity anyway so it doesn't much matter to me, though it would be nice for my children to know other Shia, and I'll probably not end up with a proper burial due to not being known in the community. 
  19. Like
    2Timeless got a reaction from Sumerian in Your favourite national anthem?   
    lol obviously the Iraqi national anthem. The tune's nice and the lyrics is touching. 
  20. Like
    2Timeless reacted to Sirius_Bright in Your favourite national anthem?   
    That's international Anthem. 
  21. Like
    2Timeless got a reaction from Sumerian in Your favourite national anthem?   
    lol obviously the Iraqi national anthem. The tune's nice and the lyrics is touching. 
  22. Like
    2Timeless reacted to ShiaMan14 in Does marriage get inevitably boring?   
    Having been married for 14 years, I can say definitely not!!!
  23. Respectfully Disagree
    2Timeless reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in #57 How is Your Diet?   
    Our accents are similar according to some.
  24. Haha
    2Timeless got a reaction from Son of Placid in #57 How is Your Diet?   
    an Aussie and a Brit similar? Never in a million years!
  25. Haha
    2Timeless got a reaction from Son of Placid in #57 How is Your Diet?   
    an Aussie and a Brit similar? Never in a million years!
×