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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by mz*questions

  1. I gave him many chances and thats why he could run all over me. If I would have been firm with him the 1st time he did it, he wouldnt have repeated it again.
  2. The thing that hurts the most is that even after doing everything for this man, he still couldnt appreciate me. I changed my whole life to accommodate him and his likings but he never did anything for me and instead he goes out with another woman.
  3. I had been understanding, supporting, angry and now I am downright hurt with everything that has happened. Since he already has someone else in his life, he wont mind the divorce. Instead, he'll be looking forward to it so he can be with his'one true love'. If he didnt want to get divorced then he wouldnt have taken this marriage as a joke and used me as his punching bag.
  4. Will I be sinning if I leave him due to his mistreatment?
  5. Yes I do have a group of very close friends who are more family to me than he has ever been!
  6. Will I be sinning if I leave him because of his mistreatment?
  7. If only he realized that. But a person who doesnt want to admit that there is a problem wont look for a solution. And since he has a maid at home and a mistress outside, his life is set.
  8. THANK YOU!! You nailed my situation to the T. I never thought that because his needs are met outside of this marriage, I am just a housemaid for him who cooks, cleans and does everything for him and he can treat me whichever way he pleases. Truthfully speaking, there is no positives in my marriage. Its just constant blames and arguments and in the end its all my fault for thinking about them and voicing them.
  9. Thank you for your kind words. That is exactly what he feels that he can get away with mistreating me. Since I have no family here to support me, he is more powerful.
  10. My family knows and they have tried talking to him politely but he just doesnt bother unfortunately
  11. Thank you so very much for your insight in this matter especially coming from a non Muslim. What you said about interacting with females and having a group lunch - I totally agree with that. I too work with male colleagues and we joke and talk at the office. In my office, I have never seen anyone go out with a smoker on their break just so they can be together and that is why I have an issue. Emailing someone with a "How are you' - I totally agree! But emailing someone that you do not work with anymore for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week - I have a major problem. You are right when you say I feel he doesnt care for me. In these 5 years, he has never even tried to be romantic. I have to care for something that is important to him but if he doesnt for something that is important to me then I am making a big deal about it. According to him, this marriage doesnt need fixing. He is perfect in the way he acts, treats and talks to me and everything else is just me making it up.
  12. I didnt ask or expect him to disrespect his parents in any way but when his parents encourage him to go on the wrong path and abuse me then I do have a problem.
  13. Thank you for your kind words. I know divorce is the last option and that is why I am so torn. I dont want to sin by doing it but then I dont think I will be able to accept it if he really has done that. His verbal abuse, I used to take it as I know no human is perfect and thats the hand I was dealt with. But everything is starting to drain me now. His constant negativity of me and the tortures. He looks at other women right infront of me and when I call him out on it, he gets angry on me.
  14. Unfortunately that's the society we live in
  15. We've been married for almost 5 years now. No kids. Yes I work full time. I used to believe him 100% because he always used to say he will never do zulm on me by going out with another woman. But if thats the case then where did he get the lovebite from?
  16. Salaam Alaykum, I have a very bad feeling that my husband has either done Mutah with another woman or is cheating on me. Our background, we live in a Western country so I understand interacting with a na-maharam is unavoidable. But when at work, he keeps talking and interacting with just women! He has blurted out that he talked inappropriate things with the opposite sex. When I called him out on it, he said well we live in the Western world so we have to be like them! Whenever she would go out for a smoke, he would go out with her even though he doesnt smoke. They would have lunch together. When he moved office, they would email each other every day for 8 hours. I even have a feeling that they talk from home when I am not with him. He once said 'Oh you dress up like ....' while I had been wearing that outfit for over a year. But he didnt mention it at that time but once he saw the friend wearing it, he noticed me too. The icing on the cake came when he came home to me with a lovebite on his chest. When I confronted him about it, he told me I did it. I also believe he brings someone to our home when I am not there. When I ask him, he tells me I am crazy and need to see a psychiatric. He does not help me with any household chores. The only thing he does is take his plate from the table and put it in the sink. He would help me carry some things when I ask him. He hasnt physically abused me but he has abused me verbally, mentally and physiologically for the past 5 years. His parents dont like me and he takes their side. They encourage him and he just rolls with that. He is a practicing Muslim and prays 5 times a day. He tells me that he knows how much I do for him and now much he appreciates me and he tells me I know I will be doing zulm on you if I do that. But then where did the lovebite come from????? I am so confused and torn right now. I dont know if I should leave or stay.
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