Thank you so very much for your insight in this matter especially coming from a non Muslim.
What you said about interacting with females and having a group lunch - I totally agree with that. I too work with male colleagues and we joke and talk at the office. In my office, I have never seen anyone go out with a smoker on their break just so they can be together and that is why I have an issue.
Emailing someone with a "How are you' - I totally agree! But emailing someone that you do not work with anymore for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week - I have a major problem.
You are right when you say I feel he doesnt care for me. In these 5 years, he has never even tried to be romantic. I have to care for something that is important to him but if he doesnt for something that is important to me then I am making a big deal about it.
According to him, this marriage doesnt need fixing. He is perfect in the way he acts, treats and talks to me and everything else is just me making it up.