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In the Name of God بسم الله

Almuslimah

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  1. Salam aleykom!! I'll go directly to my question. I am not looking for right or wrong type of answer, I just want to hear your opinions inshAllah. So the thing is this: I have been married previously. We have been divorced for long time now. When I married him, I took his surname. Now I am still using it even after divorce. Now I am getting married soon after muharram again inshAllah with Sayid. As he is a Sayid, his surname is "sayid-surname" (like musavis,husseynis and so on). My "problem" is this: should I continue to use my current surname (the one i got from my previous marriage) or w
  2. That doesnt seem right to me. I dont think there is anything supporting this claim in islam. I think your mother is just afraid of losing you, her little daughter. She accepts your marriage but doesnt accept the fact that you are now adult or something like that. Does your father know what your mother is planning? I mean about trying to get you and your husband moving in with them. Also I was thinking your marriage might be hard for your mother to adapt to if you are first child who got married. In islam we should respect our parents but marriage is half of deen. You are their daug
  3. Salam! You have received many good advices mashAllah. I also would say dont divorce. Think about how much your husband cares about you. He also seems to have had (might still have) strong desire to have children. He also hurts. He might feel quilty and deep sadness. I bet he feels sad for both of you. But you two have mashAllah strong marriage. Fertility treatments are not easy and only strong ones keep up and can support themselfs and spouse, just like your husband mashAllah did. You have been married for long time. You have been walking all this way together in hard and easy times. I un
  4. Salam! Keep up with life around you, specially if you live in west, drop twitter I have been in west since I was child and still I am practising muslim alhamdulillah
  5. Thanks for your opinions. Guys, this was just question. I just wanted to hear your opinions. I am not living in this kind of situation at all but someone I know is. In the country this is happening goverment is legally obligated to give monthly money for the one who is not working even his/her spouse would have salary, of course in that case the nonworking spouse gets smaller ammount of money since the government calcutates spouses income and their expenses together. That money is for ones basic needs. Its european country (non islamic country), so they dont fully expect ones spouse to a
  6. Salam sister! Welcome to Islam! Sister you are so blessed to be a convert and to be in the right path. Be brave when you go to those Shia Islamic centers near you. I am sure once you tell them you are new convert you will have many new friends inshAllah (if Allah wills). Usually all Muslims love new converts and will gladly help you in learning more. May Allah help you find good community of Shias and have success in life. May Allah strenghten your faith and always keep you guided, amin.
  7. I totally agree with you @Abu Hadi and @Ani.
  8. Assalaamu aleykom! This is just something that I have been thinking, so this following case is just example. I'll straight to the bisness: There is a muslim woman and man, they are married and live together. Husband works and is financially stable. Couple is living in european country ,where the wife (since not working) , is receiving social benefit money that is notably smaller than husbands salary. They dont have children. They are living in rental apartment. Husband has a good salary from work. Husband has started to ask wife to pay from her social money half of rent. What do you
  9. Yes. There was one witness present. I am sure its valid, also according to Sistani (https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2346/) Also we made our marriage public,we announced it to all family and friends. I mean everyone knows we are married. I am sure Ayatollah Sistani wouldnt have made that fatwa without knowledge and proof from Islam. So no, we didnt get info from other place. It was hard to get married here because of lack of mosque and Sheikh, so we did it like Sistani allowed.
  10. Allah only knows his intentions, my own guess is no, its not about residence permit/documents. Because I think if it was all just because of that, he wouldnt use violence and be so angry or controlling. If he wanted just documents wouldnt he try to be nice and sweet with me and not make anything that upsets me and makes me think of divorce until his residence permit comes? And also I think he wouldnt have introduce me to his family if that would be his niyya. Also in this country if he takes residence permit because of marriage to citizen and then after that divorces, he will lose
  11. Thank you so much for understanding. No, I dont have any certificate. So how about then if i would choose to leave? I cant just leave with niyya of divorcing him, can I? Its hard to get divorced since we arent officially married and there is no Sheikh or alim or even mosque at our country and because he is not going to give me divorce. How about if I just leave him and leave for him my mahr? Would that count as divorce then islamicly?
  12. No no, its not mutah. We just dont have any change to get married officially yet anywhere because of his lack of id/passport but he has been in contact with his family to get id from his homecountry. He is in this country as asulym seeker. Its like refugee. I myself have nationality of this country. This is what we did with him (marriage formula that we used ): ""2377. If a woman and a man themselves want to recite the formula of permanent marriage, the woman should first say: Zawwajtuka nafsi 'alas sidaqil ma'lum (i.e. I have made myself your wife on the agreed mahr), and then the man should
  13. Thanks for advice. The thing is just that we got married here in europe just by ourselfs. I mean there wasnt any Sheikh or anyone present at the time (since there are no masjids here). We read the marriage formula with him by ourselfs since it was ok according to Sistani. So officially we arent married in anywhere. Im not comfortable with him. I still cant say him I love him. I am giving him his rights over me in intimacy but my heart is not in that. I dont want to be close to him. I do all this fisabilillah. But Im not happy. I dont think I can ever be like normal wife to him. I know th
  14. Im from Europe. Muslims in general are very small minority here and shia muslims are rare here. We dont have even one mosque here in our country. Just small prayer rooms without proper sheikhs and alims. Yes I made istikhara. But Im not sure about answer. After making istikhara those dreams came to me. But it might be that those came from my own mind as you wrote. Also couple days ago I heard that its not for me okay to even make istikhara about marriage since im already married to him. So dead end here again. I have asked from my husband divorce. He wont give it. He knows my reaso
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