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In the Name of God بسم الله

Aflower

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  1. Unfortunately I don't have the time (owing to a busy schedule today) to give a well rounded response to your post. But, I will add that matters are certainly not as 'black and white' as you have specified. It's unfortunate that you wish to generalise about Western women, and their respective families, like this. Are you therefore stating that Eastern families do not seek a financially stable male suitor from an educated household? I suppose the answer to that question may depend on the nature/stature of the socio-economic background one originally hails from even in the East. I agree that some women are 'wannabe social climbers', but then likewise, so are some potential male suitors in the West. Trust me, it goes both ways!
  2. @starlightBeautifully written, very inspiring and extremely motivating. Reading the above passage brought a big smile to my face. Thnx for sharing your thoughts on this matter.
  3. @The Green KnightThank you for explaining this so eloquently. Could you please recommend some good social media sites that reference such hadiths. JA.
  4. JazakAllah everyone for your insightful thoughts and meaningful feedback. What a beautiful community this is. Thank you sister @starlight for referencing Ayatullah Sistani. Eltamase Dua.
  5. Salam. If one can not bring oneself to read namaz, will their other good acts still be accepted by Allah? For example, what if one was to read the Quran and recite other duas? Of course one knows that it is not a substitute for namaz and never can be either, but will one still receive the thawab for these acts if one is not performing their obligatory prayers or other obligatory acts? Can anyone tell me what Ayatullah Sistani's view is on this? JazakAllah.
  6. Where did this analogy of 'gay people' come from? You just pulled it out of thin air! Furthermore, you can not compare intercourse within a Mutah with intercourse within a gay relationship! You are not comparing apples with apples. Whatever one's personal view may be about Mutah, it is permissible within the Shia sect. Thus, sexual relations are permitted if both parties consented to this as part of the Mutah conditions between two Shias. (For clarity - Mutahs take place between a male and female. NOT between male and male OR female and female, in case there is any confusion on your part!) Whereas gay relationships are considered haram in every Islamic sect. You asked "why is it your problem?" When did I say it's my problem? I never did! If you don't care about anyone's opinion then what are you doing on a chat forum debating/discussing matters with others? Why have you even bothered to respond to me? If you are not even willing to at least consider, and at best evolve after reading about the views of others, then what is the value of you being on this site? Why are you here? Evidently you do "care" about the opinions of others, regardless of how much you deny it, because otherwise you wouldn't be responding to so many people on varying threads. Yes, but the partner for her can reject and detach from her whenever he wants or do mut'ah with other women, if he pleases. Correct. But this applies to both parties. Even the girl/woman has the right to change her mind and thus not proceed to a Nikah, if she does not see a future with the boy/man. Even she can 'reject' the boy/man, as you say. If the boy/man was so fickle as to change his mind without a legitimate reason during a Mutah then good riddance! The girl/woman would be better off knowing the boy/man's true character at this early stage rather than during a Nikah. This appears to be the crux of the issue/misunderstanding on your part. Not all Mutahs include sexual relations. One can exclude this in the terms of the Mutah. One can even choose to exclude all/any physical contact of any nature. If it was mutually consented between two sensible and mature consenting parties, then personally I don't see why anyone would object to someone else's choice to engage in one. It's certainly not for me, and it's not something that I would ever consent to/want to partake in, but that's my personal choice. There is no obligation to have/consent to a Mutah just because you are a Shia. That doesn't mean that it can't be 'right' for others under certain circumstances. I'm sure that there are a number of boys/men who would choose/hope to misuse a Mutah. But that's where a woman's wisdom/discretion comes into play. If some random roadside Romeo approaches a girl/woman for a Mutah, he would likely get a big tight slap in return. Only a fool would agree to that. If some desperado teenager approaches a widow, I'm sure the woman would know what that kids agenda is. However, if a professional educated man from a respectable family background approaches an educated professional woman for marriage, and if both parties parents consent to them engaging in a short Mutah for a period of time before they proceed to a Nikah, I don't see the issue. The complication is that everyone views Mutah as a 'vulgar/distasteful/obnoxious' arrangement between 'dirty loose charactered' people, which unfortunately means that there is such a huge stigma associated with the word 'Mutah'.
  7. What do you mean by the term 'use her like a rag?'. Actually... don't explain! If two consenting adults are happy to engage in this, how is it anyone else's problem/issue/business? If you don't wish it for your daughter, that's your call. But you can't impose your selective views on everyone. Personally, I would certainly be willing to consider the concept of mutah for my daughter before she has a Nikah (if the long-term intention is a Nikah). Establishing compatibility in a halal way is very important IMO. Also, why do you say that the 'boy' used the 'girl' as a rag in the above scenario. Perhaps it was the other way round! How would you know? Or perhaps it was a mutually gratifying arrangement. Times have changed Brother.
  8. JazakAllah for reaching out to me and for taking the time to respond with so much sensitivity, compassion and discernment. MashAllah your husband is blessed to have met a tender-hearted soul like you whom he can share this beautiful journey of life with. Thanks for the advise about maintaining a healthy distance - which, may I add, many other people have also suggested to my friend. In theory, it makes perfect sense logically speaking. However, in practice, when one has been raised with Islamic values, has a strong moral compass, and when intrinsically one inherently aims to please Allah at all times, (and therefore acknowledges that cutting off family ties is forbidden), this becomes a very tricky/conflicting predicament for one to inwardly come to terms with. (Even though my friend knows that this is the only option for her own mental sanity, and as you quite rightly suggested, for her to have the required time to heal). My friend has therefore chosen the middle path of not meeting or speaking to her mother, but she still sends her mother the occasional message saying that she's thinking of, and praying for her. That gives my friend mental peace that she is fulfilling her Islamic obligations whilst simultaneously protecting her own interests too. I'm glad that people like your self are speaking up about issues like this. Unfortunately, there are a great deal of Muslims, that like you specified, practice a distorted version of Islam, and regretfully, only quote/adhere to the Quran/hadeeth selectively when it suits their own personal motives. Furthermore, they intentionally only indoctrinate and teach their children an agenda fueled version of Islam. Think: Animal Farm. The ability of people to believe their own lies never fails to shock me! People like this often believe that they are upstanding pillars of society and that they are 'holier than thou'. My friend's mothers favourite quote is that a child can not even say "uff" to their parents. Obviously she uses this completely out of context in any/every possible situation! I feel the crux of the issue is that Maulana's/Sheikhs/Imams that sit on the Pulpit always pontificate about what the responsibilities of the children are towards their parents. This is of course necessary, but it makes some parents wrongly believe that they, nawzubillah, have a God-like status. I wish that more Speakers would give a balanced perspective and discuss what the responsibilities of parents are towards their children too. Surely, if Allah says that heaven lies under the feet of one's mother, this must be because the mother's behaviour/conduct/sense of responsibility and fairness towards her children must be so lofty/just/correct, that it makes the mother worthy of that heavenly position. This does not detract from the fact that children should always aim to be respectful towards their parents. But, likewise, with reference to parents/guardians responsibility towards children, as Spiderman says, (my son is a huge Marvel fan and so this quote sprang to mind :-)), "With great power comes great responsibility". May Allah bless you and your family. Ameen. Please remember us all in your prayers.
  9. Lol! Like a lot of other spectators, I'm sitting back and watching/reading whilst the drama unfolds. To be fair, it's quite an interesting topic, which if we dare to be honest, must have crossed all of our minds at some point. The very simplistic explanation that I gave to my kids when they were little was as follows: "Allah does not have/need/rely/depend upon tangible/physical/palpable body limbs/organs/elements etc. and/or other bodily functions and/or emotions and/or relationships as we mere mortals do. When Allah is metaphorically/allegorically/symbolically referred to himself in the Quran, it is done so in a language/using reference points that our 'human' minds can understand/relate to, and what our comprehension is limited to. This is because earthlings can not even begin to fathom the mysterious ways in which Allah functions/operates, as our reference points, and the capacity of our cognition, is limited to (1) what we have seen/perceived/felt/experienced/read about with our physical eyes/senses, and (2) by the words contained within all the dictionaries of the various languages in the world. Our minds/imagination/access to words are simply not capable of apprehending/describing our creator Allah." This is obviously a very basic clarification but it helped my little kids when they were about 5/6 years old.
  10. It appears that we are distant cousins Alhumdullilah.
  11. Please don't apologise - you have no need to. I fully comprehend that the intention behind your thread was only to gauge how many Syeds are on the forum. It's actually others that have derailed your thread by bringing this off-topic subject into the mix.
  12. I agree. Hence I asked who said Syeds are infallible? The answer to that of course is: no-one. Syeds are equally as capable of committing an error as non-Syeds. So, I don't see the purpose of, or the fascination with, discussing this matter ad-nauseam.
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