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About Aflower

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    Muslim Shia

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  1. Aflower

    #50 Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

    'Half full' supposedly indicates an optimistic outlook, and 'half empty' denotes a pessimistic attitude. Edit: @hasanhh My apologies. I jumped the gun and responded to @notme b4 reading all the corresponding responses. Hence, I only just realised that you had already explained this above. I note that we used very similar terminology too. Dare I say it; does this mean that we are on the same wavelength? Lol!
  2. Aflower

    #50 Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

  3. Aflower

    Pakistani women and hijab

    Walaikum Salam @ali_fatheroforphans. I do, by and large, agree with your comments and observations. I can not generalise and say why Pakistani women in general do not wear headscarves. Every woman will have her own story to tell and a unique set of reasons behind this. I hope that the information contained in the links below helps to shed more light on your questions: https://thetempest.co/2017/10/23/culture-taste/wearing-hijab-challenging-amongst-pakistani-community/ https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-some-Pakistani-women-wear-a-hijab-compared-to-Indian-Muslim-women-who-are-often-seen-wearing-one? https://tribune.com.pk/story/711490/no-dress-codes-for-pakistani-women/ Edit: Please note that the Quora link above contains images of women that are not observing hijab.
  4. Sister your response is very immature. I have already said what I have to say on the matter. I don't need to prove my viewpoint to anyone and this will be my last comment on THIS post. If you see it as being your personal victory to have the last word, or to post the last comment, so be it. Good luck to you. Frankly, I thought what @Khadim uz Zahrahas just written was common sense and already known to all. In any case, he sumed up this matter perfectly and it was actually a nice way to end this debate. Hence, I will paste his quote below:
  5. Dearest Sister, I have a different take and I won't elaborate on it as this post will become a circular argument. Let's just respect that we view things from a different perspective.
  6. Sisters, I am a woman who has gone to University in the UK. I have heard of incidents where girls have teased guys, lured the guys in, gone all the way. The morning after they are riddled with guilt because they feel 'cheap' and 'dirty' after the hangover effects have worn off. They then blame the guy. I've even seen muslim women behave this way. Girls in the UK lose their virginity, in some cases, when they are as young as 11. @Maryam is correct. When did I say otherwise? My point here is ONLY that I'm a firm believer of 'innocent until proven guilty'. This guy isn't a serial rapist that one can automatically assume that he must be guilty. Personally I think that accusing someone without any CONCLUSIVE evidence is very unislamic.
  7. Going back to the original case, there are also incidences where women have consented, felt guilty, and then tried to put the blame on the man as they can't deal with the guilt. In the case of the trial being discussed by the sister, I don't believe that there is any evidence directly implicating the man. On what basis does the sister believe that he is guilty? Feelings and gut instincts alone? That's wrong, no? Generalising and always blaming the man in rape cases is wrong too, no?
  8. Please forgive my ignorance but I don't understand the term 'social standpoint' in this context, and how it gives one a licence to call someone who has been acquitted of all charges a rapist. I've heard of a 'Feminist standpoint,' but even then it would be wrong to call someone who has been proven innocent as a rapist. Is calling someone who has been acquitted of all charges, a rapist, not overstepping the mark? None of us were in the courtroom and I don't believe anyone has access to all the information/evidence that was presented. Is your claim not overstepping the mark?
  9. A jury makes a decision primarily based on two criteria: 1. Direct Evidence 2. Circumstantial Evidence. Rape cases are almost always largely reliant on circumstantial evidence. This was true in the case of this trial too. Non-consensual sex is termed as rape, and unless there are witnesses or CCTV camera footage, it is infeasible to present direct evidence. Such trials will, sadly, almost always come down to 'He said' and 'She said.' The fact that the defence lawyer had to rely on some 'knickers' as her evidence in the first place is very telling about the lack of direct evidence. As the boys in my son's class quipped: "That's absolute pants." Very bad use of pun - but that's a bunch of eleven year olds for you trying to get their head around a very disturbing and mature issue. Dear sister, as you yourself stated in your introductory post, the defendant has been acquitted of all charges. Irrespective of your personal opinion, you can not call this man a rapist. Indeed you could say that he has committed Zina, but you can't call him a rapist.
  10. My eleven year old son discussed the morality element of this case for a whole hour on Friday during his PSHE (Personal, Social and Health Education) lesson at school. As @Khadim uz Zahra pointed out, it is impossible that an entire jury would have come to a conclusion based on one piece of 'evidence,' if you can even call it that. There were obviously many other elements and factors that were considered. I actually wrote something along these lines earlier, and subsequently deleted it, because I was concerned that I may have to face a barrage of criticism. On a slightly different note, I've noticed that it's not what is said, or how it's said, that attracts positive/negative, or even some attention. It's actually who says it. I've come to realise that some of my posts have been paraphrased by certain individuals and they have been acknowledged. Yet mine have gone unnoticed when I've said the same things. Guess this comes down to the cliques. C'est la vie.
  11. OP @2Timeless had already explained in her introductory post why she chose not to include the article. A simple Google search will reveal umpteen articles pertaining to this issue. If it helps, try these two words in Google search: Underwear Rape.
  12. In countries like Pakistan and India (some) men hoot, jeer, wolf-whistle and make women the object of their catcalls, even when these women are fully clad in clothes from head to toe. Sadly, vile perpetrators will continue with their wrongdoings irrespective of what a woman is wearing.
  13. I read this in Marie Claire: "Using a rape victim’s underwear as evidence in court is a heinous act of victim blaming. The only person responsible for rape is a rapist. Not the victim’s underwear." I couldn't have put it better myself.
  14. Aflower

    Being Socially Awkward

    @monad "It's sad how some people are so jealous and intimidated by you, that they only have negative things to say, even when they know absolutely nothing about you." Anon. "Don't worry about people who aren't happy for you. They probably aren't happy for themselves either." Anon. Please do continue the rant @monad. I very much enjoyed it. I laughed so much AT YOU that I was quite literally ROFL. Just don't expect a response. Keep them coming. Cheers!
  15. Aflower

    Temporary marriage

    @Ismat Zahra zaidi Sister are you aware that your full name is showing as your user name?