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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by shouzan

  1. There is a lot of Haram in the west yes, but what better an opportunity than being in a place full of sin and temptation and still doing your best to worship your Deen. Allah tests us all, and i believe it could be the greatest test of all. Also it is their culture, and middle east has their own, we must respect their culture and be better than some westerners and not judge or look down upon them. We are all Allahs people no matter what colour skin, country of birth or religion/cultural beliefs.
  2. You did make a lot of good points, However yes there are some jobs where women do actually wear swimsuits. Think to life guards, Swimming instructors, olympic athletes, models, Dolphin trainer, aquatics performer, diving instructor, etc. I believe like i previous stated, Allah gave us all freewill, therefore he has given us all our own power to decide for ourselves. Hijab are great, but i will not look down or order them to wear one. I guess growing up in Canada has given me a more open minded view to these things. However there are high rates of Rape in all countries globally, and yes that included muslim majority countries. Hijab does not protect us from these things, and it never will. infect in Western countries it actually attracts bad attention and invites harassment. Does Allah want to see us wearing hijab because people are forcing us to? or do you think he would be more pleased if we made the choice ourselves to put on hijab?
  3. Please sister please for your own sanity move out of the family home, it should have been a condition in your nikah contract that you have your own separate house with your husband. i suggest you simply speak privately with your husband about starting a family and wanting your own home to do that in. Honestly just forget the MIL she is either sour because she didn't approve of her son marrying outside of his culture, or even though you are a revert sister she assumes you are loose and have low morals and have had many sexual partners before reverting. it isn't true i am sure but these are the ideas she probably has towards you. Also mothers usually never think anyone is good enough for their sons. You must hit a soft part in your husbands heart to convince him to move, I am Canadian but i am a born muslim to a Lebanese father and i know exactly how most of us think about reverts and Western/European women. Lucky for me my mother is not muslim or arab she is European herself, so i have the benefit of seeing things from both sides of the fence. Good luck
  4. Let us look at Pakistan, it is ruled by Islamic law yet women and young children keep going missing and are later found raped and murders. A piece of cloth can not protect a woman from men who are sick and have intentions for horrible things. I think all women face a great risk everyday but we can not sit inside all day afraid. We must begin educating young men and boys how to properly respect and treat women. We are your sisters, daughters, wives and mothers. Did Allah not create women from a mans rib? Not a foot to be beneath, not a head to be above, but a rib to be side by side and equal in all ways.
  5. Again it is still her choice, women are neither stupid or children, they are grown enough to go to university, work, pay bills, marry, have and raise children and yes even dress themselves how they choose. if she wants to go out in a bikini as a muslim woman, still her won choice to make and Allah will have his own punishment for her. It is not up to us to judge nor is it up to us to make Laws to force women into something they should already be doing to please Allah. People have freewill.
  6. Asalamalakum Brothers and Sister, I was married to a Sunni man in my very early 20's however we did separate two years after due to a variety of issues. I am happy to say i have spent a number of years happily single raising my two children. I have had offers for marriage but i was not interested therefore declined all of them. However I did meet someone by chance and we are engaged and i am very much in love and very excited to spend our lives together. This being my second marriage I want to make my own conditions for the Nikah contract, my previous contract was done via my father and it took me 2 years in court to actually be able to Divorce because the way the contract was drawn up and i received no Mahr at all and still receive no financial help for my two children because I am raising them Shia and he does not approve or support this. Mahr for me isn't very important, this is a real love thing, but i do want to be smart about the conditions, My future husband is from Qatif, Saudi Arabia. He has never been married before, and he does plan to eventually move us all from Canada (where i was born and raised) to Saudi Arabia to live and manage businesses. I want to make sure i am protected and am still able to attend university again if i wish or work. I do not accept a second wife so i want to include that as well, and i want to make sure i am still able to travel freely with my two children and any children he and i have with out having to receive his "permission" (as far as i know i would require that) in order to fly from Saudi Arabia. I am asking you all to help me make conditions you might think are important or beneficial for my Nikah contract. Thanks
  7. Hijab is a beautiful thing brother, but let it be known that women who don't wear hijab also know they are valuable, they also save themselves for their husbands. Men are supposed to lower their gaze, therefore there should be no perverts on the streets. Why not teach your brothers how to respect women and follow the words of Allah, and teach women how being able to make their own choice to wear hijab is a far greater gift to Allah than making it mandatory. if not than there should be a law enforced that if men do not lower their gaze there will be a punishment since you think Laws are the solution when it comes down to a persons own choice on how they wish to live with the freedom Allah gave us.
  8. Firstly, Allah gave everyone freewill and the choice to live his or her lives as they choose. We all have many choices in this life on earth and waking up in the morning and deciding what to wear is yet another one of those choices. Not giving women their own choice is taking away their liberty and freedom that Allah bestowed upon us. If you must make a Law to force all women to wear hijab you remove their choice to decide for themselves and it becomes and obligation not out of love for Allah. As we know this life is a test from Allah to see if we stay on the correct path. It is Oppressing to force someone to do something and remove their option to choose for themselves, that is the issue. The Holy Quran is a beautiful book and a guide to base your life on. My point is its a Guide, to happiness, to heaven, to a proper and stable family with values and morals. It is not a Do or Die book of Laws and regulations because as i previously stated, Allah gave us all freewill. You want to support and preserve your Cultural rights and traditions, thats great. So do the westerners, they to have their own culture and traditions. Reflect on: O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers. [Qur'an 49:11] We as muslims need to set an example and do our best to follow the words sent to us by Allah. We should not judge others or we become the wrongdoers. Nor do any of us have a right to ridicule anyone for their own choice in life.
  9. to be honest, i have been approached this way and i wouldnt accept, however my fiancé and i met from social media, and talked for a long time before meeting in a public place for a coffee. He than inquired about meeting my family and setting up an engagement so we could spend more time together, he suggested we have a wedding in a years time however i decided it was best to have it in three years time from the beginning of the engagement. I am in no rush to marry, and we are both very busy with our own lives we see eachother once a week, and talk always on phone and text. i suggest you approach her and get to know her on social media if that is the way you wish to take. if you come on to strong like directly bringing up marriage it can be intimidating for a woman. just take it very very slow and get to know her before asking or inquiring.
  10. Brothers and sisters, There is a big issue with double standards, being raised in Canada i have seen many MANY men come here from over seas to attend university. They drink, date, have sex, go to night clubs, do drugs, miss prayers, fight, etc. They lie to non muslim women and say they will marry them, say there is a great future only to disappear as soon as their school is finished. Honestly i can't tell you how many times i have had to comfort women in these situations, they come to me because i understand from both sides. I have to explain the harsh reality of men "throwing their dirt" and enjoying before they return home to marry. In the end, this doesn't matter because they are men? Women have more pressure and less forgiveness than men. We are created equally are we not? Love the person they are, we are all growing and learning who we are. we spend years trying to figure it out, and yes mistakes are always made in our journey into adulthood. if asked about your past, be honest, if the person loves you they will still love you.
  11. Look, Hijab is a choice in the end a personal choice. A woman who doesn't wear hijab maybe more of a proper muslim than a woman who does. I have seen women who do wear hijab do it improperly, tight, sheer clothes, short sleeves, etc. I have seen them wearing padded underwear to make their backside look bigger. I have seen them talk to many men, meet in secret, and even have known them to have Anal sex in order to keep their virginity. Why are women who don't wear hijab less valued? Allah is the only person who can judge, not you or I. Some women wear hijab because it is something their families make them do, they remove it and go to nightclubs because no one will notice them, and YES this happens all the time. Hijab doesn't make someone closer to Allah only their heart and actions can.
  12. Look if a man thinks smiling means you like them that is on the man not the woman. i shouldn't have to actively think of what my face is doing while speaking or being around men. It should be your intention behind the action that is counted not a mans poor interpretation of it. Just my two cents.
  13. Im sorry but nothing in the Quran said you can't speak with men, you are advised not to be alone in a room with a man but still not haram. if it is for school, work etc, do it and don't feel shame doing so, however keep in mind: Quran 4:28 "Man has been Created Weak" If your intuition is telling you something is wrong than get away girl!
  14. Look i am raised muslim and i do not cover in my day to day life, it is a choice in the end YOUR OWN CHOICE! if you are not ready i wouldn't. I am in Canada and it can be difficult at times as the point of hijab is to not bring attention, right? here it makes us stand out and brings hate. Do what you feel is right and know Allah is always on your side as is your new community.
  15. I am one of those children you speak of, my mother is Catholic and my father is Muslim. There was not confusion, my parents worked together as a team and we always loved and respected them both. We got to attend churches and mosques, read both books, and honestly it helped make more sense of certain things as both Jesus and the prophet Mohammed were messengers of Allah. We got Christmas and Eid. Although i am not the most informed i think my parents are what marriage should be, who people full of love and admiration for eachother. They do disagree on things i won't lie, however its usually about my mother wanting to cook pork in the kitchen and my father and i having to clean everything afterwards. but honestly their fighting is funny and they always have an underlined humour in everything. This can work as long as you are both willing to accept each other as people first and compromise.
  16. I am divorced, I married a sunni man when i was in my early 20's and we had issues regarding differences in our views, abuse and his drinking. I found sunni men have different views on what is and isn't haram. I now happily raise my two children alone and live with my parents. I am maybe not the best to give advice on such a subject because i have my parents and my children. However you can be very happy single,i have had many offers to marry over the years however i found most men simply wanted a beautiful wife. I can say though, i never gave up on love and am a big believer that there is someone out there for everyone. I am lucky enough, humdallah, to have met someone by chance and we are engaged and he loves me and my children, encourages me to go for a second undergrad and go to law school. I am very outspoken at times and he loves that, i am not the most knowledgeable muslim and he is teaching me, we complete each other in such a way i couldn't even imagine, where i am weak he is strong and vice versa. A partner should make you a better version of yourself. Find that and you will find the person you are meant to be with. He is to be honestly the best man i have ever known. Don't actively look for someone to marry just for the sake of marrying sister. Wait and Allah will reward you with your patience. We are not obligated to marry and don't let anyone tell you you must do something you in your heart are not ready to do! Be strong! NEVER SETTLE!
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