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3wliya_maryam

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  1. Sad
    3wliya_maryam reacted to Islandsandmirrors in Protectiveness and gender   
    This overprotectiveness is the reason why my father refused to let me study at the university of my choice. (I have family in the city I wanted to be, so it’s not like I was going to be alone.) While all my friends, cousins of the same age, male and female, got the best college experience and got to travel abroad. While I stayed home, depressed and utterly miserable. All because I am a woman. 
  2. Completely Agree
    3wliya_maryam reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in Suicidal brother   
    Brother, put religion aside for a moment, you guys need to take him to a counsellor or something. Don't worry about his faith right now, it doesn't come overnight. Even if you take him to the sheikh for one day, it doesn't guarantee faith.
    When you start forcing faith, people can rebel. Majority of the time, people have some doubts in their minds which is the reason why they have formed a certain worldview which may differ from ours. Your brother knows himself better than you do. It's his journey to Allah. Enjoining good and forbidding evil is good and I'm not speaking against that. However do give him some space.
    You also need to be kind to him, don't say stuff which may be hurtful. The thing is that he's in love with that girl, he really think she's the right one. If you guys start mocking her or anything  (not saying that you do), it'll really hurt him. You all need to be more understanding in a way and don't put him down. However yeah, someway you gotta get it across to him that Islam just doesn't allow Muslim marrying non-Muslims. It's a tough phase he's going through, be very kind and loving. 
    I hope everything gets better inshallah.
     
  3. Partially Agree
    3wliya_maryam reacted to Islandsandmirrors in Suicidal brother   
    Why couldn't you give the girl the option of becoming Muslim instead of trying to get them to stop seeing each other?
    Why try to prevent two people from making their relationship halal? If two people really want to be together, and they get along, don't try and stop it. 
  4. Like
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Suicidal brother   
    If you don’t mind me asking, how old is he? Because it seems like a very serious issue, he needs to go counselling. Even if he screams or physically hurts himself, he is in a state where he needs to seek a health professional. 
    Don't let your parents yell at him if he doesn't pray. Leave the prayer for now, that will eventually come to him naturally because sometimes forcing a child to pray isn't a good thing
  5. Like
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Suicidal brother   
    Salam brother,
    first of all, this isn’t a punishment rather a test. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) tests his believers out of his sincere love, therefore we shouldn’t question our hardships
    I know it’s hard, but your parents need to be patient with him. If your parents force religion or for instance force him to pray or to follow the main obligations, it’s going to make things worse for him. It will drive him away from Islam even more therefore you should encourage him and show how Islam is a beautiful and simple religion.
    did your brother already know that it wasn’t meant to be? Did he already know that dating or marrying a girl whose not even from the ahlulkitab is forbidden in Islam? I’m pretty sure he’s old enough to understand right from wrong, but chooses to ignore it.
    suicide is one of the grave sins in Islam, because only Allah brings life and death, we can’t just bring death at our own hands. Rasullulah(Sawas) refused to pray the janazah for a man who killed him self.
    may Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) make it easy for you and your family. Keep watching over him, and try to talk to him with words of kindness. Tell him the consequences of marrying the girl he loves, how it will be problematic in the future especially when they have kids.
     
  6. Like
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from shia farm girl in Abu Bakr ((رضي الله عنه).), Umar ((رضي الله عنه).) and Utman ((رضي الله عنه).) - Need a deeper understanding   
    Salam alaikum ,
    1) with your first question, it is 100% true, we do not follow their fiqh , Shias follow the Qur'an and the Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام)
    2) I think it depends what the Hadith is about. For example, there are a few hadiths of some ahadith are praising the Ahlul Bayt(عليه السلام), then there’s no reason to reject them.
     
    3) no we don’t have any doubts about the Qur'an as we believe it has been standardised before rasullulah (sawas) passed away and we also believe that it was Imam Ali (عليه السلام) who collected the verses
    4)  I haven’t really heard the full story about this, however I heard that Umar burnt scrolls that contained tafseerat of the Qur'an 
  7. Completely Agree
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Suicidal brother   
    If you don’t mind me asking, how old is he? Because it seems like a very serious issue, he needs to go counselling. Even if he screams or physically hurts himself, he is in a state where he needs to seek a health professional. 
    Don't let your parents yell at him if he doesn't pray. Leave the prayer for now, that will eventually come to him naturally because sometimes forcing a child to pray isn't a good thing
  8. My Prayers
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Suicidal brother   
    Salam brother,
    first of all, this isn’t a punishment rather a test. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) tests his believers out of his sincere love, therefore we shouldn’t question our hardships
    I know it’s hard, but your parents need to be patient with him. If your parents force religion or for instance force him to pray or to follow the main obligations, it’s going to make things worse for him. It will drive him away from Islam even more therefore you should encourage him and show how Islam is a beautiful and simple religion.
    did your brother already know that it wasn’t meant to be? Did he already know that dating or marrying a girl whose not even from the ahlulkitab is forbidden in Islam? I’m pretty sure he’s old enough to understand right from wrong, but chooses to ignore it.
    suicide is one of the grave sins in Islam, because only Allah brings life and death, we can’t just bring death at our own hands. Rasullulah(Sawas) refused to pray the janazah for a man who killed him self.
    may Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) make it easy for you and your family. Keep watching over him, and try to talk to him with words of kindness. Tell him the consequences of marrying the girl he loves, how it will be problematic in the future especially when they have kids.
     
  9. Like
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from laithAlIRAQI in Suicidal brother   
    Salam brother,
    first of all, this isn’t a punishment rather a test. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) tests his believers out of his sincere love, therefore we shouldn’t question our hardships
    I know it’s hard, but your parents need to be patient with him. If your parents force religion or for instance force him to pray or to follow the main obligations, it’s going to make things worse for him. It will drive him away from Islam even more therefore you should encourage him and show how Islam is a beautiful and simple religion.
    did your brother already know that it wasn’t meant to be? Did he already know that dating or marrying a girl whose not even from the ahlulkitab is forbidden in Islam? I’m pretty sure he’s old enough to understand right from wrong, but chooses to ignore it.
    suicide is one of the grave sins in Islam, because only Allah brings life and death, we can’t just bring death at our own hands. Rasullulah(Sawas) refused to pray the janazah for a man who killed him self.
    may Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) make it easy for you and your family. Keep watching over him, and try to talk to him with words of kindness. Tell him the consequences of marrying the girl he loves, how it will be problematic in the future especially when they have kids.
     
  10. My Prayers
    3wliya_maryam reacted to Hasan0786 in Suicidal brother   
    Hello, my name is Hasan and I have a suicidal brother. It all started after he fell in love with a Hindu girl. My parents don’t accept dating and especially with someone of a different religion. My parents and me have to take turn watching over him so he doesnt hurt himself, which he almost did a few minutes ago by taking ibuprofen into his hand and almost taking them. Alhamdulilah my grandma found him in the act and my dad stopped him. My main question is what did we do that we deserve such a hardship with my brother? Every single week we get into arguements because he doesnt listen to my parents. Is Allah punishing us? What does Islam say about suicide? Please help
  11. Haha
  12. Like
    3wliya_maryam reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in sisters! WHATS YOUR STYLE OF CLOTHES FOR EVERYDAY OUTINGS.   
    This is what I dress like. I mean I have similar boots.
     

  13. Haha
    3wliya_maryam reacted to Ruqaya101 in sisters! WHATS YOUR STYLE OF CLOTHES FOR EVERYDAY OUTINGS.   
    whats your style of clothing an everyday outing such as university, family friends.... or anywhere!
    post a picture of what resembles your style
  14. Like
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from Livia in My Asian friend... What to do?   
    That part of you wanting to see her is your soft spot, because she's been your friend for a very long time. You can give her the gift, but it's better to mail it to her than seeing her face to face so that she can get a taste of her own medicine and realises how petty she's been to you. You honestly deserve someone so much better
    And don't worry about your parents, it won't be embarrasing to them because they're your family. Just briefly explained what happened between youse and how youse went your seperate ways
  15. Like
    3wliya_maryam reacted to Livia in My Asian friend... What to do?   
    thnx 4 ur advice. she's never done a single favour for me. the one time she did a really small favour I felt like she did it against her will. but kept a fake face the whole time.
    I honestly just don’t know what to do. part of me wants to contact her when I go. but another part of me really wants to slap her in the face & let her know I was in her country and didn't give a **** about her...I need to give her the gift though cuz I don't want her to think she has anything above me. 
    the thing is my family don't know whats going on btw us..they still think we're good friends (I've not tell them)..so they expect me to come back with pics of us 2...its going to be embarrassing to not have any pics
  16. Like
    3wliya_maryam reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in My Asian friend... What to do?   
    Honestly your situation is very sad. I know what it feels like when you do so much and get nothing in return. You probably spend so much of your time thinking about her, it's because you're a genuine person.
    Unfortunately it's the reality. Trust me it's with a lot of friendships these days. You might be so happy for that friend, will text them so eagerly and all. However they probably don't care about you as much. I'm no one to judge, but there's a high chance that she's not your true friend. You don't deserve this at all!
    Don't be rude to her at all, like still be super nice. But if it's getting very obvious, you don't need to try to maintain this relationship.
  17. Completely Agree
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from Anonymous2144 in My Asian friend... What to do?   
    I honestly hate people who are like that, it’s drives me crazy. It annoys me how people can be so cold hearted by being so mean and distant to a person whose done so much for them. Your situation is somewhat similar to one of my friends, who also went through the same thing, she had no choice but to cut off the toxic friendship. 
    She is basically using you and wants to keep the friendship so that she can keep asking you for favours. Tell me one good favour she’s ever done for you throughout these years. I mean yeah forgive and forget, move on, but it’s hard to forget. And if you choose to continue being friends with the person, she won’t stop continuing her same habits even if she apologised 10 times. That’s just how some people are
    im not saying stop talking to her or cut her off completely. Just don’t consider her your best friend anymore, and keep it distant. 
    Theres nothing wrong with telling her you’re coming, see what she says. Just don’t spend too much time with her. People nowadays are just turning into toxic human beings.
    may Allah make it easier for you and bring you someone better 
  18. Like
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in My Asian friend... What to do?   
    I honestly hate people who are like that, it’s drives me crazy. It annoys me how people can be so cold hearted by being so mean and distant to a person whose done so much for them. Your situation is somewhat similar to one of my friends, who also went through the same thing, she had no choice but to cut off the toxic friendship. 
    She is basically using you and wants to keep the friendship so that she can keep asking you for favours. Tell me one good favour she’s ever done for you throughout these years. I mean yeah forgive and forget, move on, but it’s hard to forget. And if you choose to continue being friends with the person, she won’t stop continuing her same habits even if she apologised 10 times. That’s just how some people are
    im not saying stop talking to her or cut her off completely. Just don’t consider her your best friend anymore, and keep it distant. 
    Theres nothing wrong with telling her you’re coming, see what she says. Just don’t spend too much time with her. People nowadays are just turning into toxic human beings.
    may Allah make it easier for you and bring you someone better 
  19. Like
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from Livia in My Asian friend... What to do?   
    I honestly hate people who are like that, it’s drives me crazy. It annoys me how people can be so cold hearted by being so mean and distant to a person whose done so much for them. Your situation is somewhat similar to one of my friends, who also went through the same thing, she had no choice but to cut off the toxic friendship. 
    She is basically using you and wants to keep the friendship so that she can keep asking you for favours. Tell me one good favour she’s ever done for you throughout these years. I mean yeah forgive and forget, move on, but it’s hard to forget. And if you choose to continue being friends with the person, she won’t stop continuing her same habits even if she apologised 10 times. That’s just how some people are
    im not saying stop talking to her or cut her off completely. Just don’t consider her your best friend anymore, and keep it distant. 
    Theres nothing wrong with telling her you’re coming, see what she says. Just don’t spend too much time with her. People nowadays are just turning into toxic human beings.
    may Allah make it easier for you and bring you someone better 
  20. Like
    3wliya_maryam reacted to Livia in My Asian friend... What to do?   
    Hi all,
    I'm going to make a long story short...let's just say I had this friend for 6 years and we were best friends. I knew her from graduate school and she was in the US temporarily to study. she's from an Asian country. I really thought she was a 'true' friend and truly cared about me and I was always grateful. but sometimes I felt that she has a superiority-complex and kind of self-centered like she only cares about herself .... I thought maybe I'm misunderstanding cuz of differences in culture. for 6 years, I was a great friend to her..always helping her whenever I can.....she always asked me for favours to do her & I always agreed. that's cuz I thought she was my best friend. In grad school I really helped her a lot guys and I never had a issue cuz I know her english is bad and she's not from the US. But after she finished grad school, I feel like she became a different person. I felt like I'm seeing her true face...one time she went to visit her country & came back to the US a year later. she asked me to do her a really big favour while in her country & I agreed. But when she came back, gosh I was really shocked! her manners and behaviour towards me changed. it's like she doesn't feel the need to "pretend" anymore. But then at the same time she still kept contacting me & wanting to meet me and buying dinners and stuff. she tried to show me that she was still my friend. but during that time guys she really offended me several times and I felt like being insulted..also I felt like she just didn't care about me. when I asked her for a very simple favour (I really needed help) she refused to help me. I was shocked guys especially after all that I've done for her! then I opened up honestly with her and we had a long talk. I told her how I feel and that I'm disappointed in her. I was honest the whole time and told her everything...she kept apologising and swearing to God that she never meant to insult/offend me on purpose. that she thought she was my best friend and thought she was doing good to me. she never ended our friendship or said anything about breaking up. only told me she hoped our friendship will be stronger. but when she left the US shes been distancing herself from me. I still emailed her for holidays & she replied back but she has never sent me an email first asking me how I was or anything. nothing at all like she doesn't want to talk to me.
    now I've been pretty ill for the past 2 years and she knows that...I plan to visit her country soon (for medical treatment, not for her). she kind of knows I'm going to visit and told me she can help me with anything. that she's my friend and will be there for me. I want to give her a small gift for something (to payback something). But I don't plan to ask her for any help. When I visit her country, guys do u think I should contact her? let her know before that I'm visiting or after I leave? I can just mail the gift to her address but I don't know if she'll accept it...and if I go & don't contact her I worry it will make me look like a very low person. I don't want to be a low-mannered. what should I do guys? 
  21. Completely Agree
    3wliya_maryam reacted to Islandsandmirrors in Marriage: to stay or leave   
    This relationship is very strange. 
    First, he had a past—yet hypocritically insists on a virgin? Sorry, brother. If you (the man) isn’t a virgin, he can’t expect one in someone else. He sounds entitled. Men can’t just have their fun and then pick a woman who has never even talked with a guy. That’s not how it works. In Islam, both men and women have to guard themselves and prevent haram situations. The responsibility is not only on women.
    Second, what’s his freak out about you masturbating? I get that some people don’t like it in their spouse, but a person who is empathetic will understand that many people struggle and that they will try to help you overcome it. Not get angry and throw a fit. Getting angry over someone else’s struggle doesn’t help the two of you or your relationship at all. 
    Third, mutah with a non-Muslim is haram (when one is married) according to some marja. It sounds like he’s looking for an excuse to emotionally and physically disconnect from your relationship. It has nothing to do with your past, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He’s the one being selfish. Does he think that people are masoom and sinless? Why does he expect a woman to not have desires while he fulfills every haram and every halal desire just because he’s a man?  
    Fourth, the fact that he uses you for sex only when he wants it and it’s not a mutual thing shows that he doesn’t care about what you want at all. He seems like the kind of person to deny you sex and intimacy when you ask for it, while he expects it on demand. 
    Very imbalanced relationship. I’m sorry, OP.
  22. Thanks
  23. Completely Agree
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from Ralvi in I want to let go of my faith but I don't know why I can't   
    The fact that you have lost your faith is the reason why you're feeling like this. I understand how you're feeling because from my own experience I have also lacked faith, but that didn't mean I gave up on Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) or stopped praying completely, and performing the obligatory tasks. 
    And the fact that you can't stop praying clearly shows a sign that Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) doesnt want you to completely turn away from your faith and stop worshipping Him, He doesn't want you to let go of that one good deed that you're still holding on to and you don't even realise that.
    Seriously what's with the repetition of "I wish I didn't have faith"? Would you rather be like those people who indulge in zina and alcohol? Would you rather be like those people who do not know anything about the akhira? Be grateful and praise Allah that you were born and raised Muslim, and that you have to abstain from these kind of acts. I'm no perfect Muslim either and I have sinned alot, but at the same time I realise just how lucky I am as well as you and the rest of us Muslims that our religion has protected us from engaging in these acts. 
    Of course you can’t seem to let go entirely, you just can’t. You've been praying for years, worshipping Allah for years and now all of a sudden you just want to let go? But as you can see, because Allah is so merciful He doesn't want you to. 
    Just remember when you leave faith, you're going to face thousands of obstacles throughout your life and you'll have no one to help you. Sooner or later you'll be all alone in the darkness crying for help. Crying for someone when you got nobody but Allah. 
    So don't even think about it brother, its all the tricks and wicked acts of the shaytan
     
    Faith is what keeps people going 
     
  24. Like
    3wliya_maryam reacted to RepentantServant in I want to let go of my faith but I don't know why I can't   
    Salam,
    This post is more of a venting thing for me, but I'll try to not make it too long. 
    I'm at my breaking point. Literally, I made the decision to stop praying yesterday, but I changed my mind last minute right before bed and decided to pray the day's prayers. I've been super emotional and vulnerable lately, I'm super close to losing my faith and just abandoning it entirely. I just had the worst break down of my life right now, and honestly, I just couldn't find myself able to turn to Allah and ask for forgiveness. I couldn't use that vulnerable moment to speak to Him, or even make any kind of dua. I found myself saying 'no more, I can't do it anymore.' I didn't once turn to Him during this breakdown. Not even a single 'Ya Allah, please help me'. Nope. Nothing was uttered from my mouth. 
    The way I've been and the sins I've committed lately, especially with the faithlessness I've had lately, have convinced me that there is no way Allah would want me anymore. I know that's not true, but I can't seem to convince myself it isn't. Deep down, I'm sure my soul knows that isn't true, but my mind has convinced me it is. I don't know, its hard to explain. but I can't seem to ask for His forgiveness, nor do I honestly really even want to. My relationship with him is destroyed, and I don't think He would be willing to even answer my prayers.
    I was reading a scholar's tweets right after my breakdown today, that spoke to my exact situation in the exact moment, and it was a clear sign. It said the usual 'Allah hasn't abandoned you' verses. And the 'Allah doesn't burden a soul beyond that it can bare'. And also the 'Allah is eager for sinners to return to Him so he can forgive them'.  And again, I know this was a clear sign. But no, I can't seem to care or accept it. I don't know. 
    I feel like its impossible to turn back to Him now. I just don't think He wants me on the straight path anymore. I honestly think I don't think He cares about me anymore, especially not with they way I've been lately, and especially not after making this post, saying all these things. I don't know how else to describe it. I think my time as a mu'min is very numbered now.
    I also don't think I want to talk to Him. I don't think I want to make dua to Him. I do not want to turn back to Him. This has been going on for far too long and I'm tired of it. I don't want to have faith anymore. I want to stop prayers. But I just can't for some reason, yet nothing is happening.
    Like its weird, I want to let go completely. I want to stop praying. I want to stop worshipping Allah. I'm just not finding what I'm looking for through Him. I don't know. But I can't seem to let go entirely. I don't know why. 
    I'm at the lowest point in my life and especially in my faith. I want to let go of my faith entirely. But I can't. I wish I didn't have faith. I wish I didn't have faith. I wish I didn't have faith.
     
  25. Haha
    3wliya_maryam got a reaction from Ruqaya101 in Your childhood TV shows   
    PEEEEEEEPPPA PIGGG *OINK*
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