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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Blog Entries posted by 3wliya_maryam

  1. 3wliya_maryam
    The correlation between OCD and being sensitive may apply only to some people. There is no clear evidence that highly sensitive individuals are prone to the disorder, although one of the symptoms indicate sensitivity to be a major factor. For instance, one may begin to obsess over hygiene as they fear being contaminated or infected with bacteria at home, so they start washing their hands repeatedly or attempting to maintain the cleanliness of the house. They are sensitive to any foreign substance present within their surrounding environment.
    In Islam, we must sustain purity before prayer. That means performing ablution or a full body ritual purification that is called 'ghusl'. Nevertheless, one may start developing doubts as to whether they are truly purified. Women may have doubts about discharge whilst men may begin to worry about excreting semen. Perhaps their clothes were impure, or that they passed gas during prayer. It could lead to repeatedly showering, performing ablution or using the bathroom more frequently. For the individual it is undoubtedly stressful and can lead to physical health problems, such as dry skin and hair as well as acne.
    The flashback memories of my past childhood always affects me till this day. I was born as a sensitive and naive child. Sensitivity is that one trait people often despise, even the carriers of it. I was faced with difficulties for self acceptance, because not only did I loathe my self for my overreacting personality, I was a victim of fat shaming. I wanted to feel happy, free of worries by claiming my desires. But unfortunately we do not live in a Utopian world; not everything we wish for can be granted, unless we choose to put the effort. I definitely take it to heart if someone still fat shamed me, even if it was merely a 'joke'. It evokes all my memories of self loathe, where I was rather too young to be feeling insecure followed by wasted effort from dieting and physical activity. We dislike being called sensitive despite us being fully aware. We refuse to admit our behaviours because we choose to not be defined by it. We feel weak, with no self control towards our impulses. When these emotions begin to overwhelm us, our mental health deteriorates. We feel violated if one makes a remark, which leads us being defensive.
    One must also understand that sensitive people can vary. Some are just easily emotional and have deep empathy, whereas others I previously mentioned have the tendency to take everything so personal. Normally these individuals have insecurities followed by low self esteem and hence their weakness is criticism. They are not skilled to ignore varying perceptions because they choose to listen to them and not their own conscious mind. It is the fear of judgement that they may receive.
    You may be wondering about its relevance to scrupulosity, but in some form it plays a role. Again, it is not necessarily the cause of the disorder and this is only an elucidation of my own personal experience. I investigated within myself and realised that one of the triggers towards OCD was my highly sensitive personality. Followed by the altering chemical changes, my overreactions led to repetitive self harm out of guilt and loathe. My personality may have been a stepping stone towards the disorder; the smallest of things I felt was a grave sin and through time it only had gotten worse.
    Do not let others define you, a very important lesson that I wish I had grasped years ago. People like to manipulate and make you feel bad, even though you may be the victim. That does not mean you should play its role, rather you should only believe in what your heart feels right. Sometimes we know that our very own mind controls us too and causes us to react or act in ways we regret later, but do not let the past define you. Every now and then I feel hurt from my own levels of faith, because when you have that love and dedication to the Lord, the judgements you receive will become meaningless.
  2. 3wliya_maryam
    I came across a tragic story of a young man who committed suicide as he convinced himself that he was not a true servant of God. He was well known for his piety and devotion in religious obligations. But such dark whispers led him to believe that Allah was still displeased with him. Whether or not he knew that suicide is a grave sin, perhaps he thought that he would never reach God's satisfaction either way. 
    I was baffled and lost with words. Someone who had such high faith and yet found it hard to battle the demons that propelled him to his downfall. But only He knew precisely what he was going through; it may have been his family, or the community's imagery of Islam. He most likely was suffering from depression or anxiety. Part of me wishes to have helped him drive away his misery as we both share similar grievances. May Allah forgive and have mercy upon him.
    It is quite scary to even imagine the consequences of any mental illness and where it could lead to. For something as perplexing as this man's story I have never read that OCD could be this severe. Perhaps he had a secret, where he did not choose to end his life on the basis of these thoughts that are linked to the disorder. It may have been something else that was giving him torment.
    Guilt is an intolerable feeling second to heartbreak. Islamically it is meant to restrain us from sinning and if it were to cease from mankind, we would all turn into vicious and evil beings. However, in some cases guilt can become so vulnerable that it can no longer be tolerated. When this happens individuals may develop a strong fear towards guilt which is termed as "guilt sensitivity" and is shown to be one of the main symptoms of OCD. They feel violated and hence to avoid this unbearable emotion, ritualistic patterns and behaviours are performed to eliminate it. If we relate this to scrupulosity, the individual highly fears God. They will try their hardest to end the guilt by excessively praying or performing other religious obligations, believing that this will please Him. In fact, it only worsens the symptoms and results in pathological guilt that can become distressing.
    Prior to finding treatment within myself, I was the kind to easily feel overwhelmed with heavy guilt, especially towards my family. It tormented me from the inside, where I would choose to withdraw in my confined space and release my emotions. I loathed feeling this way as it was getting out of hand. When I finally found the means to break free from my compulsions, that feeling went away. And even when I still felt guilty for hurting my parents, I intended to drive it away as I did not want to experience the same kind of hurt again.
    Parents have a talented skill in guilt tripping their children as a means of attempting to keep them in line. If there is one aspect within our parents upbringing that has negatively impacted our lives of youth would be in terms of religion by using guilt ineffectively. An example would be forcing a child to pray, or forcing them to wear the headscarf. All that force only does more harm than good, but sadly some parents do not realise that. God does not intend to make our religion difficult to pursue, therefore Islam is a religion of encouragement and not force. Each Muslim is on their own journey, their own pathway into seeking the truth and strengthening their will regardless of what stage they are in. If our parents weren't so compromised towards their communities' vile perceptions and clinging onto idiotic cultural taboos then I doubt majority of us would be in such a position. Now that we have identified the truth, we will be the generation to alter the ways we have been taught by them.
  3. 3wliya_maryam
    Sometimes we forget to be grateful for many of the blessings God has decreed upon us that if we were to thank him for countless days and nights, it would never be sufficient. Some of us may not realise that despite living in a house where our parents have different mindsets that complicate many aspects in life, perhaps during their time they had it far more worse. We forget that they have gone through immense pressure trying to give us a life far more opportunistic than theirs, yet they fail to realise how a lot of their customs prevents us from seeking opportunities in the first place. Think about the conservative societies they used to live in the past century and how difficult it was to overcome. Perhaps our parents think that their way of upbringing will lure us away from the demonised world, to save our mental stability and hence they carry their past teachings and culture to the next generation. On the contrary, that belief has torn us apart.
    Our parents have survived war, signed myriad of papers and fought with the Western laws to seek a better environment for themselves and future offspring. We know that our families cannot seem to fathom our changes as we develop. They believe we are steering out of the line of honour and family reputation that if a slight error was committed then it would be spread throughout the entire community. You end up hearing tales and calumnies from storytellers who often find it entertaining to dwell in the affairs of others. The values and customs I have been raised in believe that a family's dignity and privilege is held by the eldest daughter where her wrongdoings mean familial destruction. Whilst having a good reputation at some point is crucial to living a substantial life, parents forget that our unexpressed feelings matter more than pleasing an egoistic community. 
    In Islam, one of the major sins is the displeasing of parents, where their anger is equatable to God's. Surely we must strive to respect them as they become elders, despite the levels of irritability we receive almost everyday. We are taught to maintain patience and that is further learnt more deeply during adolescence. Even so, a lot of the times one has knowledge of what is right yet still choose to divert into the path of wrong. An example is when our parents infuriate us, it results in retaliation rather than remaining quiet and calm. Understandably, nobody wants to hear someone create quite vague assumptions and further jump to the worst conclusions. That is one of the nuisances we normally find within parents.
    From past personal experience, despite my OCD was likely of being genetic, I discovered that the strategies my parents used to make the entire family adhere to religion were often uncompromising. They believe using threats will make their children stand firm towards God and whilst I partially agree, the end result may be discrepancy. I've always loved being a Muslim. Observing full hijab from a very young age, praying at night outside the backyard beneath His illuminating creation whilst holding the sacred Qur'an in my hands. I thought I felt undeniable peace, but was it truly as peaceful as it sounded like?  I was on attack the minute I stood onto my prayer mat or opened a supplication prayer. Those rampaging thoughts destroyed my inner peace. It seemed like I was a saintly servant of God, but the reality was that I was hurting deep down without even figuring out the cause. After recovery, a part of me came to conclusion as to what had led to these doubts and whispers in the first place. It somewhat was in relation towards my parent's upbringing, where I had noticed the number of threatening remarks they used in relation to God made me believe that I was obliged to add in the extra effort and consistency towards my prayers and other obligations. However, a number of times they had caught me in such a state and tried to give me solid advice that I am already pious enough in the eyes of God. And yet I always felt like I did a mistake in my ablution that led to repetitive cleansing.  
    Then again, we are far more mature than to be constantly blaming parents for our actions. I criticise myself for being too naive and turning small situations into extreme ones. The truth is nobody else is at fault but ourselves because we have full control over our own actions. We are willing to blame others for our mistakes in order to escape guilt or responsibility. Parents may have played some role in the way we have turned out to be, yet we know ourselves way too well as adults that most of it is our own fault, Maybe we did not realise that controlling our thoughts and actions could have been taken into our own hands if only we did not let all that negativity consume us.
  4. 3wliya_maryam
    When we think of the term Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, certain thoughts may enter our mind such as the need to maintain hygiene or the need to constantly check, fear of contamination or hurting others. It is much more than that. It also primarily deals with the 'obsession' of thoughts, as I'd like to call it. Being inclined to unwanted thoughts, such as sexual or religious ones and the more you try to push it away, the worse it gets. It is like someone telling you to continue thinking this way even if you don't like it. Although this does not make sense, readers who are able to connect will get the idea.
    Scrupulosity is the term given for religious OCD and is quite common within the younger generation. Fear of being a sinful human in the eyes of God, fear of constantly repeating one's prayers or rituals, lustful or bad thoughts about religious figures and others. It may possibly stem from genetic factors, but environmental conditions play a major role. Families who have been raised in conservative societies will often intertwine religion and culture, thus leading to confusion. Young adults who try so hard to keep their connection with God on a pure level will surround themselves with fear and worry of not being a righteous Muslim/Christian/Jew. 
    Religious OCD was first termed scrupulosity in the 12th century. It derives from a traditional use of the term 'scruples' in a religious context, which means being obsessively concerned of one's sins and religious devotion. Moreover, the word in fact originates from the Latin word 'scurpulom' meaning sharp stone which implies the stabbing pain one suffers from their own conscience. Many famous historical religious figures would express their obsessional suffering where it became recognised as a mental disorder in the 16th century, being termed as 'religious melachony'. It is now a modern day pyschological problem, with its prevalence as rather speculative. 
     I was born and raised into a religious family whom emphasised on the importance of Islam. When I was consistent on keeping up with my prayers and religious tasks, this is when the major hurdle begun. As much as I loved being a good faithful Muslim, such thoughts that I somehow created within my mind used to intervene every single moment of the day. It used to bother me the moment I started to pray, read Qur'an, or anything that was not religion-based. I'd stay awake all night repeating the same thoughts in my head, and it felt like I was being choked by somebody. I was also scared by the number of sins I would commit, such as angering my parents. Whenever I'd anger them for the slightest thing, it led to me being emotional and apologetic. I didn't want them to stay mad at me as I feared that my prayers won't be accepted. Later on I ended up realising that I was manipulated for most of the time which really hurt me. I was coerced into believing that certain things were forbidden in Islam when it later sounded all very contradicting. This is when I started to lose most of my faith, because of the lies that I have been told. The amount of times I apologised to my parents has led me to even despise the word 'sorry'. It is when I started to realise that Islam is not as complicated as certain people make it seem to be.
    My point here is not about Islam being the cause of OCD; it is about how others misrepresent the truth. For that reason, we find people either not practising or turning into agnostics. All because of the idiotic cultural taboos within our religion. If we somehow fall out of line in terms of faith, even if it was a small slip, we are suddenly hypocritical disbelieving servants of God. That's what victims of scrupulosity have to deal with, they are constantly under fear that the slightest thing would displease the Lord. Firstly, this life was set as a test; no doubt that human beings are prone to sinning, it is not possible for anyone to reach perfection. The least we can do is try our best and pray sincerely for our guidance. 
  5. 3wliya_maryam
    You're awake at night, in a deep dark suspense. Not a pindrop of sound. You face upwards towards the ceiling, trying to think about God, but everytime you do, the devil makes his way into your head. You feel frustrated, anxious, and devastated; wondering how can you stop him from getting inside your thoughts. How do you continue to keep that connection with your Lord without him trying to distance yourself from faith? 
    For nearly five years, I suffered from a common condition as to what we know as OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I never knew what it first was until I was around 15 and found out that it can even be genetic (from my father's side). It was really difficult and coming from a religious family, things became more complicated. Later onwards, I realised that God is not a strict being, nor does he want our religion to feel complicated - and yet we are the ones who complicate it for ourselves. Alot of people especially within my culture make it seem like Islam is somewhat forceful and harsh. The sad truth is, some corrupt leaders have represented our religion in such a way that contradicts to what it originally was 1400 years ago. 
    I don't only blame terrorist groups for portraying a terrible image of Prophet Muhammad's teachings, but our own community has also failed us. We are surrounded by blindness and ignorance yet its hard for us to realise that until we ourselves choose to divert in the path of seeking the true knowledge. However, alot of prideful humans will cease to believe the truth even if it was witnessed before them. Their arrogance is more worthy than divine knowledge.
  6. 3wliya_maryam
    Please let me help you 
    Let me help you get this through 
    We share the same blood
    And I want you to be loved
    Look I know that you're depressed
    And I know that you're in distress
    But I wish you could open up
    Instead of always shutting up
    You choose to conceal yourself 
    And I still don't know why 
    sometimes I hate myself 
    For even having to try 
    To make you fess up 
    I know you don't want my help 
    Maybe I do suck at giving advice 
    But why should I leave you to silently yelp
    When I'm here for you, but you're just like ice
    I am always contemplating
    And always wondering
    Whether I've done more than enough 
    I want to be there for you
    But you keep pushing me away
    So I chose to do the same
    Please let me help you 
    Let me help you get this through
    We share the same blood
    And I want you to be loved.
  7. 3wliya_maryam
    In a time of ignorance
    A period of injustice and profanity 
    Where it was filled with insanity 
    Hearts were filled with vanity
    He sent a true messenger 
    To fulfill a mission that would change humanity
    To forbid atrocity and spread morality
    To guide His creatures towards the true message
    To remove the calamities and wreckage
    The hypocrites wouldn't stop mocking him
    Calling him names and throwing dirt
    He let them do so freely, for he was never hurt
    'Cause the Lord was always by his side
    Every night he raised his hands and cried
    Praying that his people would follow the truth
    A man of respect and dignity 
    A man who preached unity 
    He who gave women their rights 
    He who gave the nation its might 
    The Holy Book and the Holy Progeny
    The two things that held the nation together
    But he still knew about the bad prophecy
    He could already sense the wild weather
    Ya Rasullulah,
    Can you see how your nation tore apart 
    When it used to be only one
    Can you see the amount of bloodshed
    Leaving thousands of your Muslims dead
    Can you see the amount of hatred and sedition
    Leaving thousands of your Muslims in a heartless condition 
    Waiting for your chosen ancestor
    To free the Earth from the oppressors
    To fill it with justice and remove the tyranny
    You were the chosen one to mankind 
    An immaculate soul that He designed.
    السلام عليك يا رسول الله ❤️
    اللهم صلي على محمد و آل محمد
  8. 3wliya_maryam
    Am I not allowed to grow a little confidence?
    To get past my self consciousness?
    Why youse gotta restrict me 
    From getting rid of my insecurity
    Youse will never understand why I keep disobeying
    Youse may think I'm selfish, but I keep praying 
    Hoping for a miracle to pass by and change your minds
    I know that it's for my protection 
    But I'm old enough to depend on my own
    Everyday I keep staring at my reflection 
    Wondering when youse will leave me alone.
    But seriously though
    Am I not allowed to grow a little more confidence?
    To get past my self consciousness?
  9. 3wliya_maryam
    I'm only pretty if I have enough likes
    I'm not so pretty if I only have five 
    I'm only popular if I have many friends 
    I'm only special if I start to follow these trends
    I only get noticed with makeup
    Without it I'm no longer recognised
    You need that flat stomach and those fine curves 
    So you choose to put yourself  through that pain you don't deserve
    Starving yourself till your rib cages begin to show
    You want to be like the rest, because your self esteem is so low
    Society is committing a crime
    With how they define beauty
    Girls can no longer be themselves
    'Cause they fear society's judgements.
    Society made you forget your true beauty 
    That lies beneath all those flaws.
    "And you don't have to change a thing the world can change its heart" ~ Alessia Cara
  10. 3wliya_maryam
    When I'm in pain you say it won't last
    But I see you still paining about the past
    When I'm in tears you tell me to keep smiling
    But I still see you curled up in the corner crying
    You tell everyone it'll be alright 
    But the space around you is tight 
    You tell everyone you're fine
    But I already know that's a lie
    It's never that easy to let go 
    That strong feeling of betrayal
    But one day they'll know 
    Just how much they left you in denial .
    "It's never easy to walk away, let it go
    Nothing heals the past like time" ~ Dean Lewis
  11. 3wliya_maryam
    You say it was a curse
    'Cause I became worse
    You say I am being punished
    'Cause I caused my old self to be diminished
    You say I am beginning to deteriorate
    As time passes by
    I don't know how much longer I can wait
    As I sit there and cry
    Staring at the blank wall
    Hoping for a miracle
    You say it was a curse
    But I believe it was a test
    You say I became worse
    But I am trying my best
    To return to where I was.
  12. 3wliya_maryam
    She's been through hell
    But everytime she fell
    She got back up and praised the Lord
    For she made it through that narrow ford
    Instead of sleeping
    She kept on weeping
    Instead of dreaming
    She kept on thinking
    Too many thoughts right now
    That's keeping her up tonight
    She can't seem to break this fight
    A fight of clashing thoughts
    She got caught in an accident
    Yet she still thanked Him
    'Cause she knew that not everyone's lucky
    He chose to put her through a calamity
    Out of his sincere love and mercy
    So she refuses to question herself 
    Why she faces such calamities 
    'Cause she already knows the answer
    Everything happens for a reason through His will
    She's been through hell
    But everytime she fell
    She got back up and praised the Lord
    For she made it through that narrow ford.
  13. 3wliya_maryam
    I  would give way to the guilt
    That let those trapped thoughts and emotions get built
    Awake all night, contemplating whether I was a bad person
    And this only made my condition worsen
    Couldn't tell anyone what I was going through
    And even if I did, I felt like there was nothing they could do
    Compulsive and uncontrollable
    It felt so unavoidable
    Trapped inside my own hole, not willing to escape
    Something just kept pulling me back,
    Why couldn't I control it, was it that powerful?
    That would leave me with visible marks the next day
    Some questioned it, but it didn't bother me anyway
    'Cuz they ended up believing my excuses
    It was the same thoughts on repeat
    Like a rewind tape that I couldn't delete.
  14. 3wliya_maryam
    A delicate young flower
    With great spiritual power
    A soul that descended from heaven
    And took some of its pure fragrance
    She brightened the whole city with her illuminance
    Her modesty and piety shone through its radiance
    She was indeed the greatest of the four 
    And God was the only one she spent time for
    Consistent in her prayers and faith 
    No woman could ever beat her status
    Without her existence there would've been no pure progeny
    To carry her father's word to all mankind
    She suffered with immense pain 
    After the loss of her beloved father 
    Not only she was faced with disdain 
    For trying to claim her right
    But she had to face the cruelty and injustice
    she had to face the torture and the flames
    Causing her to lose a small delicate soul
    The love of her life
    Couldn't bear to see those wounds 
    grief stricken to see his beloved wife
    Buried with those scars 
    She was a flower nipped in a bud 
    That fell from heaven and went back
    But her fragrance was still left in her lover's mind
    Peace be upon you, ya Fatima al Zahra (عليه السلام)
    سلام الله عليكي يا فاطمة الزهراء، يا بنت المعصومة❤️
  15. 3wliya_maryam
    Some days feel low and some days feel high
    some days I find joy and some days I just cry
    its a mixture of heightened emotions that I can’t even describe
    some days feel tough and some days feel like a breeze
    some days I find comfort and some days I can’t find ease
    its a mixture of heightened emotions I can’t even describe
    lost and trapped in this loophole
    don’t know when I'll get it under control
  16. 3wliya_maryam
    He was Islam's backbone
    His wisdom and bravery was widely known
    None of them could beat his intelligence
    And for that they called him the peak of eloquence
    It was his powerful words that continued to guide mankind
    To be fair, honest, loving and kind
    He stood by his cousin's side like a shield 
    Everytime they had a mission
    And had to face opposition 
    It was he who gained them victory
    In the greatest battles of history
    The first man to submit his will to God
    The first man to pray behind the Chosen One
    The only being to be born in God's house
    The only being who was fit for leadership
    Slayed the strongest enemies with one strike of his sword
    It was never done in arrogance, but for the sake of the Lord
    Never wanted to take over the authority
    Even though it was meant for him and his hereditary 
    For he was neither greedy nor selfish 
    He didn't want the name of Islam to perish
    He continued saving God and His Messenger's message
    Despite being surrounded by immense pain and wreckage 
    He never stopped preaching honesty
    Of the Holy Book and the Holy Progeny
    He was indeed the backbone of Islam
    The true light to civilization of Islam
    peace be upon you, commander of the faithful, Imam Ali (عليه السلام)
  17. 3wliya_maryam
    Thought I was never going to change
    Now thinking about it just feels strange
    'Cause I never used to see it coming
    I saw myself changing and chose to ignore it
    It was for the good but mostly for the bad
    Even after I realised, I was neither happy nor sad
    I became nicer but less faithful 
    Maybe I should've been more careful
    The things I told myself I was never going to do 
    Now I do them like it's not so bad
    I know I didn't completely change to the worst 
    But I know my level in faith decreased
    Maybe I just wanted to fit in 
    And experience it all
    Maybe I felt like I was restricting myself too much 
    I do not know when I'll climb back 
    When I'll return back to my original phase
    Where I was so dedicated to my faith.
    No matter what obstacle would try and deceive me.
    Never thought I was going to change
    Now thinking about it just feels strange
    'Cause I never used to see it coming
    I saw myself changing and chose to ignore it.
  18. 3wliya_maryam
    Such hard things in life that you can't even cope 
    But with God by your side, you can't just lose hope
    All that pain keeping you up tonight 
    You just gotta keep reminding yourself that it's alright
    For that silent growing pain is only temporary.
    Strengthening our faith and pushing away the guilt that wasn't even necessary.
  19. 3wliya_maryam
    Overthinking is everybody's greatest weakness
    Did I say or do something wrong?
    What does that person think of me?
    Does he/she hate me?
    Is it really my fault ?
    Did I make a good or bad impression?
    Was I exaggerating?
    Was I being a hypocrite?
    Maybe I shouldn't have said that
    I shouldn't have made that person think of me that way
    Why does he/she hate me?
    I know that it was my fault
    I know I made a bad impression
    I know I was over exaggerating 
    I know I was being a hypocrite
    Overthinking is like smashing your head against a wall
    You keep smashing your head, knowing that nothing's gonna change
    No matter how much you think of that situation 
    Everything will stay the same.
  20. 3wliya_maryam
    No doubt I know youse love me
    And all these restrictions are there to protect me
    But for how long does it have to be this way
    How long do I have to pretend that I'm okay
    You try hard to guilt trip me
    Even though I didn't completely change to the worst
    You'd still assume that I lost all my faith
    Yet little do you know I pray for you almost everyday
    Sometimes I think I'm a little too selfish
    To be thinking this way, some are too unfortunate
    Instead of complaining I should realize that I'm fortunate
    For my life is filled with blessings others wish to have
    Forgive me, I have given them a hard time
    All I ever wanted them was to understand
    They'd make it seem like I'm committing a crime
    With their guilt tripping words that I can no longer stand.
  21. 3wliya_maryam
    Why am I always agitated
    To the point where I'm just irritated
    At every small thing that comes my way
    I throw a tantrum not realising what I say
    Sometimes I reassure myself
    It's okay, your human, you can control yourself
    But everytime I try, its only temporary
    And I try to push away the guilt that I carry
    No matter how many times you fall
    Keep breaking through that strong immense wall
    Even if you still haven't been able to and you just wanna stop
    Be proud that you still didn't drop
    That you still haven't given up.
  22. 3wliya_maryam
    Don't you ever wish that you could rewind
    And remove all those bad memories that were left behind
    But then God tells us to learn and move forward
    Thinking about the past will just make us fall downwards
    He has promised twice that there would be ease 
    So make a difference and just let those thoughts cease
    Later in life they'll be deep regret
    For all that wasted time you could never get
    You could've spent that precious time valuably 
    But instead you decided to waste it worthlessly
    So shed less tears and continue to smile
    For your sorrow and hardships will only last a while
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