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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by 3wliya_maryam

  1. Faith itself is bravery and intelligence. I don't know where you got this idea from, because majority of Muslim societies are conservative and your point should apply to western societies in my opinion. But also even if a girl did that in the west, she would still get bullied and get called names similar to that being a prostitute.
  2. Salam everyone, I rarely come to this server since I have exams coming up soon, but I decided to give myself a short break and introduce a topic about women who commit zina. We all know that it is a grave sin for both of the genders, but what we also know is that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the Most forgiving and merciful. Let's discuss a scenario where a young female has sinned in the past and fully repented to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), and is seeking for marriage. The entire community knows about her past and so no one will come asking for her hand, at this stage what must she do? Never get married? However when it comes to a young male, somehow he can still easily marry despite his past of committing zina or other unlawful acts. What are your thoughts on this? I just find it really unfair how most males are excused and can easily marry, but they will refuse to marry a girl whose lost her virginity in the past, even if she repented. Men may think its risky to marry her, but I don't think it is if she has asked for Allah's forgiveness and is inclined more towards her faith. Girls who have sinned in the past can't even tell their future husband because they fear they may get rejected if they find out she isn't a virgin. And if they do find out, it becomes problematic. People can change from bad to good and from good to bad. We all need to stop labelling people who have already changed based on their past, and this isn't just for women but for some men too. If a man owns up to his past sins towards his future wife, then that is a good sign. If he or she has changed for the better, then that tells you something. So to all the men who believe that it is wrong or risky to marry a woman whose lost her virginity; stop judging her based on her past. If she has fully repented and is seeking marriage, she is most likely doing so for the sake of Allah. I'm not here to start any drama, its just something thats been going through my mind lately. fee amanillah
  3. marriage does not necessarily solve the problem of masturbation. Some men have strong addictions towards it, they wouldn't entirely stop completely unless they themselves have self control. There are thousands of other ways for the boy to control his desires other than marriage. Fasting is one of them. Inclination to faith. Investing new hobbies. Has sistani issued a fatwa on this? I mean i understand your point of view, but even if marriage becomes wajib on him at such a young age, there are other limitations that can't possibly get him married that young. Parents should also be supportive when he reaches that stage
  4. I agree with this 100%. We always need to push out of our comfort zones and do the things that we normally wouldn't do, because then thats when we start to grow as stronger individuals. People also have this perception where introverted people are always shy, and extroverted people are outgoing and confident. But sometimes that isn't always the case. You have extroverts who are shy, insecure or lack confidence. You also have introverts who are not shy but they choose to isolate themselves because they enjoy solidarity.
  5. If you are going to say that twitter is a toxic platform, then the same thing can be applied to other social medias. Even Shiachat sometimes has heated arguments amongst users that I have also seen bullying and derogatory comments. It really depends on you. Who you follow and how often you spend time on it. It also relies on you ignoring other people's judgement and criticism directed at you. Many people can also use social media in a healthy way too.
  6. Heard about this long time ago. It might be some conspiracy but who knows
  7. Wasalam, The word 'Muslim' itself means submission to God. Whilst I agree that we should express our pride as being Shia Muslims, it is not easy in the Islamic society we live today. It can lead to tension and possibly fitna. Some people take it to a next level, such as Yassir al Habib whose even caused fitna amongst Shia Muslims in general. Nevertheless, we have the right to stand up for ourselves since we are constantly surrounded by derogatory views that they deem upon us. Besides, there is really no point in bringing up discussions about Sunni-Shia differences, unless a Sunni person tries to slander Shia Muslims or if they are just curious, it is still encouraged to educate them about our beliefs. Sunnis will always have an opposing view against us, and they will never be convinced with what we bring forward even though most of the points we make are logical. Of course, our kids should grow up to be proud of who they are, but there needs to be some kind of balance as how we should express ourselves the right way. And what we shouldn't say that could most likely cause fitna. Because majority of both Sunnis and Shias just want to argue to prove their points. Many Muslims can't express themselves at all if they live in countries such as Egypt or Saudi. This is why teaching our kids Islamic knowledge is crucial, so that they know the ways to respond to Sunni Muslims who try to argue and prove a point. On the other hand, do we really think it is necessary? I mean if we look at the example of Imam Ali (عليه السلام), he remained silent from the first three caliphs, and refused to be involved in their public affairs unless there was the need to. He knew they were misguided, and the Prophet(sawas) advised him to withstand and remain patient.
  8. salam been a while but i believe it doesnt go back to their beliefs. it goes back to their ideology of power. you have men who claim to be faithful muslims, and yet still believe that hitting their wives is permissible.
  9. Salam, What you're doing isn't wrong. Islam wise it is good to help out the community with mental illnesses, Muslim or non Muslim. But how can someone possibly think that it is 'okay' to bully them because they're gay? I mean we do have strong opposing views about homosexuality but that isn't an excuse to treat them like crap.
  10. The coronavirus has reached to Western Australia, with two confirmed cases in Perth. May Allah protect us from this deadly virus.
  11. The coronavirus has reached to Western Australia, with two confirmed cases in Perth. May Allah protect us from this deadly virus.
  12. Is there a hadith or link to this? As far as I know men psychologically tend to have these thoughts, so its not so easy to control them. Your intention and action are what matters
  13. They say that to easily guilt trip you. My parents say that all the time. Unless I’m doing something very bad, then that’s completely different. Our parents are trying to steer us clear from haram, but as you said yourself a lot of the times it can be too overwhelming. Sis we’re on the same page here lol. It always depends on who you hang out with. You need to show them that they can trust you. How is that any different from going to uni by yourself and hanging out with a bunch of different people? believe me this will take time. U need to keep talking to them
  14. I’ve watched the clip myself, and I don’t think it was related to the corona virus. It was probably referring to either SARS or Ebola
  15. I kinda agree, my parents were having a discussion about this. And the reason makes sense in the first place, because it coincidentally occured whilst the US was pressuring China's economy. Unfortunately I cannot find the source, but a few weeks ago, it was on one of the Arab channels my family were watching that apparently some reporter has stated that the virus was found somewhere in the US Embassy. Then you also have a bunch of other researchers who say that all these conspiracies are false and only trying to create fear. https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/cotton-repeats-coronavirus-conspiracy-theory-despite-evidence-n1137701 Senator cotton has emphasised on the fact that the virus came from the US I found these aswell: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-Europe-51413870 https://www.jpost.com/Middle-East/Arab-media-accuse-US-Israel-of-coronavirus-conspiracy-against-China-617021 Only Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) knows best
  16. Wa alaikum salam, I completely understand exactly how you're feeling, and it sucks. I'm 19 turning 20, and my parents are still the overprotective type. But I want to give you really solid advice on how to get through this. Last year when I stepped into uni, some things were difficult. And one main aspect was my parents, who were constantly getting suspicious even if I was just studying at a library, so I really understand the struggle. Now, one thing that did bother them the most was my interactions with the opposite gender. I got in trouble a number of times for working with them and texting them which they found out somehow. I tried to convince them that it was only about studies and nothing else, but they still found an excuse to make it seem like it was some atrocious act even though I know deep down I did nothing wrong. It still gets to me sometimes, because I was tired of trying to make them understand that I'm not longer in a private school, this is freaking uni for crying out loud. It was really stressful, and on top of that I had way too much studies to even be messing around in the first place. This led to a lot of lying too. And then I realised that the reason why my parents never trust me was because of lack of communication. That was the missing piece. The more you don't choose to speak up, the more they'll think you're hiding something. I always knew about this at the back of my head, but I never even tried because I felt like they were always hard headed. So I didn't bother. But using alot of communication makes a difference. I'm not saying you should tell them EVERYTHING that goes on in your life, but include the things that they'd expect to hear, like how hard your studies are and what you learnt in your lectures today. I used to complain to them that it has always been difficult for me, so that they know I'm actually putting in the effort rather than wasting time. YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP. Trust me you will regret it. You need to make them understand that you're no longer a child, and your life and future career depends on you being independent. You need to reassure them that there's nothing to worry about. My parents were the type to even disclose the topic of marriage with me. They thought it could distract things and want me to solely focus on my studies. I was the one who chose to open up the topic, because if not now, then when? I made sure to my mum that she should never feel suspicious about this. That is what changed everything, because after the advice she gave me, I knew what they expected now. So you need to do that. You need to tell them right now. They can't just keep having this control over your life, even though they are your parents. You need to show them you're an adult and can rely on yourself. When I read this, I assumed that you were from an Iraqi background. Because our family also has these customs where its wrong for a girl to go out alone. I know its in other cultures too. This tormented me even as a kid. I never went anywhere out unless that included dragging a parent with me, even if it was with a group of friends. That's just how their mindsets are, they were born in a completely different generation and so they will carry these beliefs with them because they feel like its the best thing. Your parents aren't going to change instantly, but eventually they are going to have to force themselves accept the changes that you will face now that you've finally stepped into the real world. And that only begins if you choose to speak to them. About everything. I've noticed this within my parents too. So I know its easier said, but try to not worry about it too much. Because things will certainly get better, only if you put in the effort NOW. its all about right now. I pray that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) makes it easier for you and give you success in the future fee amanillah
  17. Salam, I understand it’s hard and you never chose to be this way. It really sucks. There was a shiachatter here also going through the same problem, I forgot his name. but you’re right, as long as those thoughts don’t lead to action, then you’re still just as faithful. I honestly believe that you have higher iman than most people in general, because it’s not so easy for them to resist a huge sin like this. So the fact that you’re trying to be as faithful as you can because you fear Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is just beyond amazing Honestly reading this post annoyed me a little. The brother is clearly asking for advice and you’re here trying to make him feel worse. Where’s your source? For that hadith
  18. Yes it does seem complicated. And there is a possibility that the guy who suffered from abuse may have mental health problems like anger management. So yeah its quite risky. If he's a really good guy as you say, then obviously I have to get to know him more first and whether he is meant to be in my life or not. The rest is up to Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If I truly loved him, and wanted to fight for him regardless of what his family says, then we both need to be aware of the fact that there are going to be many obstacles in the way that could potentially jeopardise our relationship. We have to be fully prepared for that and take action if we must. And then whatever happens definitely happens for a good reason, all part of Allah's plan.
  19. According to ekhart tolle’s the power of now (a book I highly recommend everyone to read), all the pleasures of life are only temporary. They don’t make you truly happy. Say you were sad and depressed, and you decide to go shopping. It might lift your mood up, but then you’re drawn back to darkness. he talks about inner peace, that is accessible to us now, something that is way beyond our minds. Whether you’re religious or not doesn’t make a difference to boredom or you being a fun outgoing person. Back in school I used to get told I was boring a lot. But really it depends on the people you surround yourself with. A lot of people don’t realise this within themselves but they have some kind of uniqueness that is only in them and not in everyone else. the more you socialise, the more you read and gain knowledge, the less boring you become imo
  20. I’m not sure about that. From my own knowledge, those talismans are used to prevent someone from staring right into a beautiful thing (a baby for instance) and that apparently the attention is more drawn to the ornament than the thing itself.
  21. Well my mum once said those blue eye ornaments give u good luck it’s all superstitions don’t fall for it
  22. I am confusion where'd you get all this from and where is your quranic proof or hadith
  23. I agree, but then if that’s the case what is your view on mutah as a Shia Muslim given that it’s permitted? I partially agree with some of the statements users have made here. Sure men need to have some kind of restraint, but unfortunately they’re not like women. Their bodily mechanisms work differently in comparison to women, so they have it harder especially in a western society. Why would Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) permit it in the first place then? This doesn’t just apply to males only. Also It is scientifically proven that men have sexual thoughts more than women. I’d rather let my daughter/son do mutah instead of entering a haram relationship. One has to think of the alternatives. In cases like the OP, mut3ah should be necessary given that he seems still young to enter a permanent marriage. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions. We can express our views if we want to.
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