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In the Name of God بسم الله


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3wliya_maryam last won the day on November 10 2018

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About 3wliya_maryam

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  1. Ramadan Kareem everyone, Hope you all are doing well in this blessed month, I would like to talk about something that a lot of people tend to struggle with - and that is motivation. Being motivated isn't just about gaining motivation from others or hearing spoken words or watching an inspirational video; no ones going to motivate you other than yourself. Receiving motivation from others isn't enough. You can motivate others and they'll feel inspired, but its all up to them if they act upon it, rather than just listening. I feel like most people nowadays just listen but not take action, including those like myself. In life, we can only suffer and go through pain to get where we want to be; we must go through many trials and difficulties to reach our goals. And a lot of people don't want to have to face that, so they choose to delay and procrastinate. We've all been there. As I mentioned in another post, I used to always give up when it came to my health, you know why? Because I listened to others and not myself. Some people would say that I didn't need to lose weight and others would say I should; and I didn't know who I was meant to listen to. That's why when it comes to achieving your goals, only listen to what your mind tells you and don't listen to what others need to say. A lot of people will bring you down, say stuff that'll make you feel worthless and hopeless, because they think you will never be able to succeed. I never thought I'd able to shed a lot of pounds until I motivated myself regardless of what people had to say. In the end, all that pain and suffering was truly worth it. You've finally reached where you wanted to be, that's when you'll look back and realise the amount of effort you chose to put to make your dreams a reality. You thank Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) because He willed you to get there and He knew that you wouldn't give up. @Ruqaya101 @2Timeless @ali_fatheroforphans @Sumerian @Gaius I. Caesar @Islandsandmirrors @Tima @strength=Abbas @Bakir
  2. 3wliya_maryam


    How is plucking eyebrows not permissible? There is nothing wrong with it
  3. Honestly this is so disgusting, like I don’t even know what else to say. I hope things get better for you Insha Allah, and my advice is to talk to a counsellor about this issue personally. I can't imagine how difficult this must be, and your brother is definitely held accountable by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for these disgusting actions. Just rely on Allah for now, and have trust in Him surely things will get better fee amanillah
  4. Salam alaikum sisters, Hope y'all are having a blessed Ramadan, One of the most frustrating things in this month is getting your period; especially during the last days. Sometimes I do not know whether I am clean or not especially when I see very light brown spotting. My period usually lasts around 6-7 days. It usually on the 6th day that it starts fading away, however today I noticed alot of brown discharge along with light pink. My question is, should I be better off not fasting the next day or should I fast? Because my sometimes my period stops for a little while like on the 5th day, and then stuff comes out on the 6th or 7th day. So I really don't know what to do because it is frustrating as hell
  5. Salam I'm really sorry about this thats just so disgusting and no offence but your brother deserves a huge punishment for this horrible act. But always remember that you were innocent and you're not impure, because you were only 9 and had absolutely no knowledge about this. I do not know if this is possible, but are you able to book an appointment or something and let the doctors check whether you're a virgin or not? Also if you don't mind me asking this question, I understand you were very young, but do you remember any bleeding after the incident? Once again I'm very sorry about this. You were only an innocent child and you don't deserve to go through such things. I hope things get better for you inshallah fee amanillah
  6. Sister, do you remember what you read ? It could have been Surat al falaq and Surat alnas
  7. omg thankkyou, you literaly backed me up without even realising lolll
  8. Okay then that’s understandable, but I wasn’t referring just to Iraqis tho
  9. Lol I can’t bc I don't know that much ppl, but it’s a common thing, I’m not saying all strict families are the same, it depends on their levels of strictness. I feel like I haven’t addressed some stuff there clearly. I wasn’t trying to say that parents shouldn’t be strict and let their kids have all the freedom, there needs to be a balance. You can’t always be strict to them neither can you always be lenient
  10. It’s very common especially nowadays. It depends on how strict they are and in what areas are they strict. I know it doesn’t apply to every single person but it is common.
  11. @Ruqaya101 @2Timeless @ali_fatheroforphans @Sumerian @Tima @AStruggler
  12. Salam alaikum everyone, Ramadan Kareem to all the users out there, inshallah you’re having a blessed month, subhanallah time flies and there’s like only two weeks left. I wanted to bring up this topic because I’ve always been concerned about how our families raised us. I know I started a few threads on this , but this topic is both frustrating and interesting at the same time. With all due love and respect for our parents, they fled war to find a better and safe environment for us, they have raised us in these western countries, trying so hard to make us be amongst the best and have a good reputation. And honestly, although our parents have been brought up in very conservative societies, they have raised us well in terms of morals, values and respect. They have taught us where our boundaries should be wherever we go. That is literally the only good area of their upbringing. however, many parts of their upbringing are wrong and seem to affect us. This is mainly due to their culture influencing religion which is the most difficult thing when it comes to living in a strict household. Parents don’t even realise how much this affects us especially living here in the west. And I also feel like they don’t even expect the changes that will most likely happen to the kid as they get older especially being raised here in this generation. They try to manipulate their kids into thinking that they’re doing something very wrong and sinful, when in reality they’re not. It makes them even question their beliefs. They enforce culture on to us because they think it’ll protect us in some way and not lead to rebellion. But that’s literally the opposite to what they believe. The more strict and conservative your household is, the more likely your child will turn into a rebel and do all sorts of things that you wouldn’t approve, like drugs, drinking or dating. Kids who have extremely religious and cultural parents will fall into that trap. as they get older and become adolescents, they realise just how much they’ve been restricted from so many things. They realise just how much they’ve been manipulated, how much they’ve been lied to and how much they’ve been guilt tripped. Most of them now no longer even care about their levels of faith. One thing I learnt about being raised in a conservative environment is to never force religion upon your children. Don’t force them to pray, fast, read Qur'an or wear the hijab. Encourage them. You would want them to fall in love with Islam and not to hate it and feel like it is a religion of force. Even if they don’t listen to you at first, never force them and never stop encouraging them, it doesn’t have to be through words; sometimes actions can be more powerful. I am saying this from experience. I grew up as a very religious person, and I was strict towards myself, I then started having OCD for about two years and it drove me insane. Now I realise that I never even had a balance between religion and the world in general, and maybe if I did have that balance, I wouldn’t have gone from being super religious to being so careless and almost losing all of my faith. Thinking about it now really sucks. They have manipulated me into thinking that whenever I did something as bad as not listening to them or talking to the opposite gender for instance, even if it’s normal back and forth communication, they’d make it seem like I’m committing such a horrific sin. they make it seem like Allah is unmerciful, and they give us threats like “if you don’t pray, you’ll go to hell” or “if you don’t listen to us Allah won’t accept your prayers”. This is completely wrong, you don’t teach your kids about Islam by threat, that’s when they start to think that Islam is a forceful religion. Instead, they should say things like “come pray with us, so that we may go to Jannah”, or “may Allah accept your prayers”. Another thing I’d like to address is these ridiculous gender stereotypes, which triggers mostly females because we have gone through much more difficulty compared to males. We’re not allowed to do certain things because we’re women, like going out, and being more independent. They even think you’re not meant to have privacy because they have the right to know everything as parents. We’re not even allowed to raise our voices, which pisses me off the most because sayeda Zainab (عليه السلام) raised her voice in front of all the oppressors, yet our families never mention it. It’ll take them a very long time for our parents to realise the mental impact they have on us. Like I said before, they’ve taught us many good things, but in many ways of their upbringing it deteriorates our mental health. This is a good experience for us, because one day when we have kids of our own Insha Allah, we will know exactly how to raise them. fee amanillah
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