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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Posts posted by SeekingHeaven

  1. Salam, I work at a convenience store owned by a non practicing Muslim and we get a lot of Muslim customers and some of the candy sold in the store that contains pork or other animal derived gelatin or just non halal items are sometimes bought by these Muslims ( some are kids just not knowing the difference and some might be adults that are just ignorant or some simply don’t care), my question is as I’m checking them out as a cashier am I obligated to inform them if I know that a certain food item contains non halal ingredients? (Also please keep in mind that sometimes this is happening when we are busy and there is a line and is sometimes awkward)

  2. I feel like I've messed up too much, I don't know what to do with my self. I have committed this sin of masturbation and repented just to go back to it later on, I feel like I've went through this cycle so many times and just feel like my only escape is death. I feel like my mind has been beaten a thousand times. I've never been so low in my life. Everyone around me thinks im the most religious guy but between me and Allah there are no barriers to hide this sin and I don't care for there opinion of my religiosity. I just want to die since I feel like I have no soul anymore.

  3. Salam, I have posted about this problem of mine before but it's only getting worse. I feel like I am addicted to masturbation because I am not happy in my personal life and I have lost the feeling of inner peace I once had that kept me close to God and I just have a lot of stress and no one that I can actually talk to and give me advice.

    I Just want my suffering to end. I feel like I'll never be able to stop because I have tried tens of times before but I always go back to it within a matter of days and I have come to the mindset that there's no point in trying to fight it because I always end up going back. 

    I HATE the person I have become because around 3 years back when I was just starting to get into religion I was so sure that I'll never become what I have become. 

    I just want my suffering to end.

    I want to be with God but I feel like I have done things that made him angry with me. Like praying and them a few moments later masturbate. Choosing that pleasure instead of his obedience continuously.

    please pray for me also

  4. 9 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

    I know how to lose weight, however, every time I cut back my intake by even 500, I feel the urge to binge and feel like I’m starving.

    I do intermittent fasting and what I drink a cup of black coffee which suppresses my appetite and cravings m, so I highly suggest you try that but make sure its black!!!

  5. Salam, since my parents are currently not living with me and my siblings and I have a younger brother 13 years of age and I want to give him "the talk" as they say, about maturing and desires that might be developing in him. But I can't seem to put the words together and I feel like it would be awkward and I would rather just avoid it but him living here in America and going to school I feel like I would be harming him if I don't. Plus there was an incident months back at home were my sister caught him playing with "it" but she realized he is just experiencing the teenage experiences. So I guess what I want is just someone that can guide me through this so I can protect him from sin. 

  6. Salam, I am currently in my second year of college and just started my first computer programming class for C. The only other experience I have with programming is a programming logic class where we used visual logic as to get the idea of programming. Does anyone on here have experience or would be able to help me out with solving some errors in my source code? Keep in mind im only just starting and my assignments are simple but I am a slow learner. :book::helpsos:

  7. 4 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

    Look there's 100 volume books on how to get rid of masturbation, none of those will work imo. You have to have a practical approach to this. Don't over complicated this by wasting hours online searching "how to get rid of masturbation".

    (1) Get a job or volunteer - make sure you do something very productive during typical work hours (9am to 5pm) if you can't find a job or volunteer.

    (2) Join a club or society which you're crazy passionate about. You need to be obsessed about it to the point that you think about it a lot during the day. 

    (3) Exercise

    I already work but have 2 days off a week, and i go to the gym but to be honest every time i do it i tell my self it's because im looking for happiness in the wrong places or thing. Im just not happy with my life i have to be responsible for my 4 younger siblings and our parents currently live over seas (inshallah coming soon) and i have a hard time in school, I don't like the current job that i have and would like to take a vacation but can't even afford to leave work. Also i get nagged on by my father to do all his work that he wants to be done here (basically the only time he calls is when he wants me to do something and he NEVER takes no for an answer) even if i tell him I don't have time. And I don't have any REAL religious friends of coworkers that share my beliefs even though i live in the majority shia city in America, yet I would get ridiculed and given weird looks when I'm faced with a choice where it's society's understanding vs religious rulings and i choose religion. I also don't have the means to get married even though i wish I could find someone that i can come home to every day and be a support for each other and share my life with (not just for sex), but I don't feel like im getting anywhere in the existence and that's also why I don't even want to live anymore. 

    (Sorry if you feel im just complaining to you, but as I said i have no one to share all this with and understand me, i just feel im surrounded by corruption every where i go)

  8. Salam, i have posted about my masturbation issue before and I still can't get rid of it. I feel guilty after i do it and vow that i will not do it again and at the same time i pray and listen to lectures and at those times i am fine but then after a week or two i go back to doing it and this cycle has been repeating for the past 3 months and i have come to a point where i am getting thoughts like "I probably will never stop" and I just feel too stressed out and to be honest I don't even want to live anymore. I always wake up tired and lazy and drag myself to work and back and im about to go back to college in a week. I just feel like I've given up on myself.

  9. 9 hours ago, IbnSina said:


    I drink red bull sometimes when I am too tired to go to the gym but by drinking the red bull I feel like I have to go since I drank a red bull.

    I do not feel like its giving more energy but I like the taste and I know its unhealthy buts its okay if you balance it with healthy things in my opinion, such as going to the gym afterwards.

    How often do you drink it and do you feel like it has an effect on your mind? Like too many thoughts or feeling not yourself?

  10. Salam, i hurt my lower back today at the gym and went to the hospital and the nurse had to see my back and feel it snd then give me a shot she was wearing gloves the whole time but i had told her that I can't come into physical contact with women and after the awkwardness of that moment she said they don't have male nurses and so i let her do what she had to.

    1) Is what i did haram by letting her touch me (with gloves) and give me a shot?

    2) Would it be haram if she wasn't wearing a glove?

    3) What is the ruling on letting a female nurse touch you for medical reasons? Does she have to wear gloves?

    It was hard for me to summon the guts to tell her that and she didn't take it all that well and said she's dealt with muslim before but no one ever had a problem with that.

    I told her not to take offense to it.

  11. On 11/11/2018 at 11:19 AM, Laayla said:

    Brother @repenter would tell the faithful shia brothers, put Ya Zahra on your right hand and Ya Ali on your left hand, and you wouldn't dare do haram with those names on your hands if you are truly a lover of Ahulbayt.

    @SeekingHeaven  Do tawba, ghusul tawba, and follow what brother repenter advised.  Stop watching haram movies, listening to haram music, avoid mixed gatherings.  You will be fine, you just need to stay focused and at all costs avoid being alone.

    95% of the places here have music playing and even the muslim women 90% of them are dressed in a way that will make a man lust, it's been too much and when i think about it deeply i think why hasn't imam mahdi came yet?

  12. On 11/4/2018 at 7:44 AM, Abu Hadi said:

    Before he finds a wife, the other option is 'self punishment'. In other words, find something in the mustahabat that is the most difficult. For many, this is fasting. So make a vow to Allah(s.w.a) that every time I do this sin, I will fast for x number of days. This is an example. For some people fasting is easy, but something like 'Salat Al Layl' or getting up in the middle of the night is more difficult. The point is find a way to punish the nafs, make it difficult, and stick to it. Make it difficult, but not impossible. 

    I recommend marriage as the first option though. Self punishment works short term, and sometimes long term, but the problem is that it doesn't resolve the underlying issues, which is a halal outlet for the lust is needed. Until the halal outlet (marriage) is found, the problem will never be solved. It is like, in medical terminology, treating the symptoms vs. curing the disease. The cure for this is marriage plus 'casting down the glance', in other words making every possible effort not to deliberately expose oneself to environment which will move one toward haram. The treatment of symptoms is punishing the nafs. 

    I used to practice lowering the gaze and it undoubtedly put most of that desire out but i fell off that track a few times and each time I would come back I would be a lot less motivated!

  13. 4 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

    Brother, honestly the only thing you need to do is keep yourself busy and occupied throughout the day. You can't be spending time by yourself hoping that you'll not turn to porn, especially if you're addicted to it. That's why in Islam if you're confident that you'll commit a sin at a a certain place, then make that place harram for yourself. If you feel that you'll sin at home during the day, then tell yourself that "I have no option but to go outside, regardless of the fact that I don't feel like it". The more you implement this method, your life will be easy. If you want to study, go to the library where people are present. 


    Thank you for the reply but what you don't get is that the thing which intices me is the fact that i see women around me everywhere dressed super immodestly and what makes it all worse is that they're all muslim because i live in a city which is majority muslim populated. So when i go to work everyday and i see all the customers that come in dressed the way they are my desires kick in right away and it effects me the worst when im at home. I feel so much hatred for all these women because thay are the ones the prophet predicted would come in the end of times. I just wish I could have that sweetness i had for religion when i first started, i want that fresh fate because back then i was so connected to the ways of imam ali and i feel like that always helped me fight it!

  14. Salam, i bacame religious back in 2014 and started to really get into practicing, i stopped many of the sins i used to commit (masturbating, listening to music, cussing, watching porn, etc), but there was one sin that kept inciting me and never left me alone, the only times I would get relief from it is when im spiritually high, and for the past 3 years I have been fighting it, many times actually watching porn and would come really close to ejaculation but would stop before i do and cry to god in repentance only to repeat it a week later and I would cry again to god in repentance and be sad for the day. But slowly after a time i would repeat it but not cry and in a few more months from that i would not even feel bad anymore and just about two months ago I was going to sleep but before i did i was inticed and I watched porn for like 6 hours till the morning without sleeping and after 3 years of not letting myself ejaculate I ended up ejaculating at that time and now it has gotten worse i am back to doing it every other day and a times twice a day and i feel like an empty shell after the act. I tell myself I won't do it again but then i do. I feel like it's killing me but I can't stop and i have NO ONE that i can tell all this to. I don't know if the fact that the people i work with at my job all talk proud of these sins and it effected me or the fact that i see women immodestly dressing in public everyday because i live in the US and i just feel deprived. I need serious help before i am lead to complete self destruction!!!

  15. To be honest i have had a lot of trouble on this topic and finally decided to just go to my local mawlana and he said that its fine as long as they are covered with their clothes and i also asked another sheikh in my community and he said that he also goes to the gym because he has to lose weight and i see him there sometimes.

    So I think it's about what intention you go with.

  16. 5 hours ago, hasanhh said:

    Join a club.

    Forums are a big help these days. When l was young, if you had an interest in some things, there was no one near you who was the same. Then the 60s came and mobility increased as did a flurry of niche magazines.

    For example, if you have an interest in gravity, how many people around you have the same. But online, there are hundreds.

    Some clubs are leagues for like bowling and baseball and fuSball.  Look online. Many advertise for new members.

    So as ali_fatherofpassableadvice wrote, What is stopping you from "growing as a person"?


    7 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

    Don't worry bro! You have a lot of things to focus on rn.

    The more you keep yourself occupied, the better you'll feel. Read books, gain Islamic knowledge, play sports, go to out to picnics etc.

    Being single shouldn't stop you from growing as a person. Even before you get married, it's worth trying to work towards self-improvement, especially when you're alone and have time to contemplate etc. So try to evaluate yourself and see what area you can improve in. If you want to gain a new skill, learn a new language, get rid of a vice - now is the best time.

    With your concern regarding marriage, just ask yourself objectively whether now is the best time. You need to be very clear and not be like "umm I think I should marry, but...". When you decide that you want to marry, then try to make it known to your parents, family friends, Shia community etc. So you can get to known someone inshallah. 

    Internet is also an option, if you want to find a Mutah match, but I'm not too sure if it works. Also mentally prepare yourself, as you'll get judged if you decide to do mutah.

    But yeah, don't stress man! I'm sure you'll find a nice girl who will love you for who you are. If you're a genuine person (which you probs are) you will not find it difficult to find the love of your life inshallah.

    But I don't live alone i live with my family of 5 and i work a lot and as for self improvement i feel like its a lot harder now because i have done it before but failed at it, as in i have tried climbing the spiritual ladder but then fell off (through sinning) after gaining a little spirituality. So I don't feel as motivated or connected to Allah.

    Also i see girls around me everyday and it's becoming harder and harder to control my desires. I feel it hurting me inside.

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