SeekingHeaven

Please read my previous post for why I keep going back How does a double major work? Im not really passionate about a certain subject but I do like learning about the human body and nature and muscle building.

I just lost interest in it and feel like I’m not good at the logic part of writing code, the last course I took was about c language and I was doing fine but as soon as I lost interest halfway through the course, I began losing track and not focusing. I passed with a c, I originally just chose computers because I thought that’s where all the job opportunities are and thought that it doesn’t matter if I like it or not. But because it gets complex the more you get into the degree, you likely won’t do well unless you’re driven to finish. so that’s when I started trying to search for other majors to study, I looked through all the programs provided by the college and wasn’t really passionate about any of them, so then I thought something in the medical field would be beneficial and could potentially make good money and work anywhere in the world and volunteer at countries and Shia organizations helping in those war torn countries. But I need to be 100% sure that I want to make this transition, because I’m already 22 and can’t waste anymore time.

Salam, I’ve been going to college on/off for about 4 years now and I still don’t know what I want to study. I’ve already finished all the general required courses and I also have pressure from my parents to finish university. The problem is I don’t know what to major in. im not particularly interested in any of the majors offered, I originally started out with computer information systems/programming because I seen it would pay me good after finishing. Essentially I want to have a high income job, so I can sustain my family and also get married after, but I also want to like what I’m going to do, I’m not particularly crazy over programming. I am 22 now and don’t want to waste anymore time, I need advice on what to do now, I don’t want to have regrets later on and think about “what could have been”. what should I study?

To perform Mut’ah with a Christian, if she is a virgin I have to get the fathers permission right? But if she is not a Virgin I don’t have to get anyone’s permission but hers right? what is meant by virgin when we are talking about this? because I emailed the office of sayed Sistani and this was the answer: In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the MercifulA Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian or a Jewish woman in temporary marriage. Based on precaution, it is obligatory to refrain from marrying a non-Muslim woman in permanent marriage.In marrying a virgin woman, whether Muslim or from Ahlul Kitab, it is necessary to get the consent of her father or paternal grandfather, if she is not independent. However, it is precautionary obligatory to seek their consent [I.e., of the father or the paternal grandfather], even if she is independent.By non-virgin girl we mean that she had a proper consummated marriage.Wassalamu Alaykum what exactly does he mean by non virgin being that she was previously married? What does it make her if she has had sex before and has never been married but she is not a virgin because she had sex outside of marriage? Also if I meet a girl do I have to ask her about her virginity or if she was previously married? what if I meet her at university and we’re both in our early 20s?

Salam, 1. Can a Muslim man who is starting to fall into sin and is not able to permanently marry at the moment due to other obligations he has do Mut’ah with a non Muslim? 2. When doing Mut’ah with a non Muslim who are you allowed to marry outside of the religion of Islam? 3. Is the permission of the father required for Mut’ah with a non Muslim? Does it matter if she is a virgin?

Thank you to everyone for the advice! Actually he is getting better and he is praying again. You’re right I don’t think his upbringing by my parents was that good and I’ll list a few of the reasons so others take heed 1. Because of living in the Middle East and not knowing Arabic good because prior he grew up in the west, and my dad always used to take him to the mosque which had no English speaker at all, so he would never understand the Friday sermons or ashura lectures. 2. My dad would always make him go to the mosque without even considering his decision and wouldn’t really give him an option. 3. My father would also never really treat him as a friend ( not that he used to hit him or anything, my dad loves us but he has his shortcomings as all do ) but he would always expect him to just obey his command without question.

I agree that the 2 shouldn’t be alone in private, but I wouldn’t mind going somewhere public once in a while and the rest through text and getting info on her through social media, friends, family, etc. But I wouldn’t be comfortable with for example talking to her while her dad or mom are there for example or anyone. It would just be awkward, so there does need to be that getting to know each other faze.

Maybe that is just the way her culture taught her but how else am I going to get to know a girl in a society like mine? I mean let’s say that I see a girl at university that I would like to get to know, I don’t even know who she is or where she lives let alone who her parents are I also think that a lot of girls would be embarrassed to even tell their parents in the beginning stages about a boy because of reactions and all the questions

But islamically that’s not really appropriate ( please don’t think I’m trying to judge you, I’m sure you’re better than most girls ). I really wouldn’t be fine with my wife to raise her voice in public for no good reason, especially in loud laughter because I’ve seen how guys talk about them when they are gone. It actually turns the guys on if they’re attractive to them and if they’re not I’ve seen the guys make fun of them in very hurtful ways. I know it’s just as bad with the guys and they are actually more open about it. I just expected the girls to have a bit more haya (modesty). But I guess growing up in a immodest society changes that rapidly. I feel sometimes that I want to act like them just so I can have a relationship because that is one thing that is hurting me at the moment and has been for a while. Especially the stress that I have with taking care of my family (that is 6 people) and going to college.

Can’t a brother seek heaven? I feel like it’s pretty awkward especially the fact that I can’t really support my wife financially and I come from a Lebanese background and I’m not sure if you might now this or not, but they’re most likely going to expect me to be financially well off. At the moment me and my sibling support the family financially and even that barely, I mean I’m also kinda in debt ( but nothing crazy ) But I’m okay with getting married now and would love to have someone to share my journey of developing financially and religiously but Alas. I always hear from my sister that one of her friends ( who sometimes are even younger than me ) is getting married and when I inquire about who the guy is, he’s always someone who has a really good job, a house, not really religious, I mean they don’t even mind touching before getting married and sometimes posting those pics on social media. I just feel like if I had that type of relationship I would be a lot more focused on my priorities and she could become my motivation for being more successful and vice versa.

But I feel intimidated, especially because the girls in my area, although majority Arab Muslims, I don’t feel are shy. For example if there are a group of them in public you can hear them laughing and being sorta loud, which I feel means they’re not shy. Or maybe the act like that because they don’t want others to think they’re weird? Inferiority complex maybe But then when I see a girl for example at work she might come in as a customer and you would think she is do innocent looking, but after she leaves my guy coworkers begin to tell me about what she is really like ( hangs with guys but looks innocent, smokes weed etc.). Which actually saddens me. This has been the case with enough girls that now I am so confused about how to judge these girls. I am a college student btw and I am referring to people in this age group ( early 20s)

Salam, every time I see a sister that I might want to talk to I always hesitate because I don’t want to say something wrong in my approach or sound creepy. I am not really someone who is used to speaking to girls a lot or have them as friends. I do feel shy around them but try to look like I’m not but in reality I would really want to talk to them just don’t know what to say. I feel like I have to impress them How would you as a girl like a guy to come and approach you and speak to you? Would there be the possibility of him getting your number? ( I don’t mean to date, but to get to know each other more) How do I go up to a girl and let her know that I’m interested in a serious relationship that would result in marriage? Also what would you judge a guy based on from the moment you see him till after?

Salam, recently my 15 year old brother has been asking me for a ps4 to buy him on Black Friday and he really wants it and has his hopes up for it but I continuously tell him no and explaining to him why I don’t want him to be influenced by it. Originally it was my older sister who put the thought in his heads that she will buy it for him but I am refusing his request and he has basically blamed the fact that I’m religious and thinks that religion is putting too many restrictions on him when that’s not the case. He finds listening to lectures boring, even by English speakers and has told me that he doesn’t want to pray anymore or have anything to do with religion. I told him that he’s too attached to these things because he did similar things a few months ago when my sister wanted to give him her iPhone 6 because she was getting the new one and I refused at that too but seeing the way he was begging and saying that he’ll be responsible with it, I let him have it. He doesn’t play outside, he has friends from school but they only interact when they are playing their game on the phones. Other than that he’s home all day and isn’t interested in going to the mosque, even though I try to explain why he has to have a relationship with God and how his life would be useless if he doesn’t. I was barely able to get him to go to ahura lectures after argument after arguments and now I’ve just had it with him. He’s not listening to reason and sound arguments because of his desire for wanting that gaming consol. I even told him that he would accept to let go of his religion just for a game? And he said that he just doesn’t want religion anymore because he feels like it’s the reason for my decision. He has been praying his whole life and I always try to bring up religion but I feel like the irreligious lifestyle that he sees outside of home and mainly in school is having a strong effect on him even though he denied that to. I think it’s subconsciously shaping him but he’s not really able to see it. I really need help in all of this

How are you learning it? Is there a course you’re using?

I know there’s a lot of threads on this topic but I need some advice on what should one who is not married do when he feels the sexual desires rising? I mean what should he do at that exact moment so that he doesn’t go further and end up committing a sin?