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In the Name of God بسم الله

Haydura77

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  1. Dear Brothers and Sisters, Assalamu Alaikum. I just thought I share here something important based on my personal experience and interactions. I I have researched a lot about Shia (Twelver Imams) and I must say, it is a nice, practical and natural denomination that fits with the lifestyle of common people (spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc.); however, some of the interesting insight that I have come across through my various interactions is that the majority of this denomination (which I personally met) do not practice or conform to what is being defined in the Twelver Imam rules and regulations. For example, I am an interested and open-minded individual in this denomination but unfortunately from my experience, I found people's reactions and attitudes to some of my queries (can't generalise) not very welcoming (again can't say hostile). Also, some of the so-called followers of AhlulBayt don't fast in Ramadan and don't consider praying to be important (what type of example are they are trying to set). I felt really isolated and sad but I am glad that I did my own research to discover the beauty of the AhlulBayt denomination/path because if I were to base my judgement on my personal experience and interactions, I would very unlikely pursue my research into this fascinating, righteous path. By the way, this critique is not directed at the forum but it is just an account of my personal experience. I hope any future and potential candidates or researcher into this denomination will find the support they need. Wa Salam.
  2. Thank you sister. But I think I will rest my case as I lost hope in getting my point across.
  3. Salam Sister. I take your point and I concur with some of the things you said. However, I was emotionally soft and I have a very flexible and patient mindset. I tried to help her using different ways (as pointed out in a previous message). I even advised her that our children see her as a role model and I was worried about her becoming diabetic, etc. I am not a psychiatrist and personally I do not have the "patience of Jobe" to stretch myself any further. What else should I do? Should I offer to pay for a liposuction? I think we all just need to be realistic and practical at some point. The whole point of marriage for men lies in love, building a family, etc. but also to refrain from fornication and the "dark side" of Haram. Unfortunately, some of these cases and examples push people to the 'dark side' as time passes over.
  4. Absolutely. Some women don't want to get out of their comfort zone.
  5. A few pounds? What about 30 or 40 kilos? Where does it all stop? I have advised my wife courteously to stop drinking pepsi max and over-indulge and I have offered to support her in losing weight by paying and driving her to private exercise lessons in a woman-only gym and I have even offered buying a treadmill/exercise machine for her at home. I have even offered to take and accompany her on a long hike and you now what her final answer was?? Why don't you grow your hair back and I will then contemplate losing weight. Losing your hair is out of our control but gaining weight is something that can be managed!
  6. Although I find this brother's stance on his wife a bit extreme, I do partially symphatise with him. Some wifes don't look after themselves by gaining weight and ignoring their husband's urges for an intimate relationship and sex. What is the point of marriage if a wife becomes obese and she doesn't bother about her husband when he asks her to look good when he comes back from work. I am sure that husbands strongly advise their wives to exercise (and support them e g. by driving them to the gym) but if they refuse to do so, what is the alternative?! I would appreciate rational answers rather than emotional and defensive response to my comments.
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