Jump to content

Waseem162

Advanced Members
  • Content Count

    829
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Waseem162


  1. 23 hours ago, Guest maryam said:

    i'm very sorry if this has been asked before but i really need help. 

    i started wearing hijab when i was 8 bc my mom told me the old lollipop analogy and i was too young to reason w it. did i understand hijab and why i was wearing it? no. now, 10 years later, i am still looking for answers. everytime i ask my mom she keeps using analogies like if you have a diamond you should hide it away so you can protect it??? or she would say im not a man so I don't know how men think? but i find that that contradicts with the fact that Allah is fair because now i am being held accountable for how men think which is obv not my fault. i also cannot find solid proof that hijab is wajib. i know the women in the rasool's family peace be upon him and them wore it but they also went for jihad and did all these things that we don't do anymore like freeing slaves. i know that we should look up to them and try to live like them but i feel that a lot of things from their lives should be considered alongside the context and the life they lived at the time. i am rly lost and i need to find an answer please help me.

    ps my mom says i follow sistani bc i wore hijab at 8 and bc her and my dad follow him so i inherently follow him apparently but i never rly made a conscience decision to follow him nor did i know who he was when i started wearing the hijab so I don't know. i'm starting to question the whole marja thing bc rly they all say different things depending on their understanding and interpertation of Islam and i don’t really know who i agree with or if i agree with any of them at all. 

    please don't comment things like sister go repent bc all i want is guidance.

    Salam dear sister. Allah has ordered Hijab for women to leverage their status and to make them covered (because women have a great divine quality - Haya/Chastity/Modesty).

    Allah has made women beautiful and has asked them to keep their beauty hidden from everyone except their husbands. 

    Hijab makes your pure. When you remove your hijab, you only remain an object which satisfies wild lustful eyes of men who are preying on women.

    Dear, Islam came for people right from 7th century to QIyamah. Its not like Hijab was a timely thing. No. The laws of Islam applies in the same way as it was applied to the family of the Prophet (saws).

    Please Sister, don't loose your Haya and protect yourself from wild animals out there. May Allah protect you.


  2. On 10/23/2017 at 9:08 AM, Guest guest7 said:

    Disclaimer: ranting

    I have a problem, I am a female and my mother is not interested in me getting married any time soon. People have asked and she usually just makes it out to seem as if I am a livestock being sold to the highest bidder(he has to have his graduates degree, make money, have ahklaq, not have a opinionated mom, move to my city, be religious, tall, dark AND handsome :confused:) . I work and have completed my education so naturally I would like to get married but every time I express that I am open to get married she scoffs and tells me to not act desperate and to be patient for when someone worthy comes along. I dont even feel like a women anymore because I have to always act like I am uninterested in affection. The reality is that I am not a teenager that just wants to get married so I can wear a dress and have a party. I have an established career and have enough money to take care of myself if the marriage hypothetically flops. It just seems to me that my mother finds any excuse and I didnt think this to be true until recently when someone that I am personally acquainted with had his mom ask for my hand. He has a very pleasing personality, is educated and I find him attractive but because my mom thinks his mother would be too involved she was against it(without asking for my opinion). I found about this weeks later when she incidentally told me as if it was something funny. She also referred his mom to a friend of hers who has many daughters that are unmarried. I got angry, felt very lonely and misunderstood. I want to have relations, start a family, have kids, and I am afraid of sinning..ie:start a haram relationship. I feel like the excuses she makes up do not make sense and maybe her intent is to keep me with her for the rest of her life :grin: !!!and!!! I am a realist, I cant be beautiful all my life!!!!! the older one gets, the harder it is unfortunately. 

     

    I don't appreciate such over protective ambitious parents. This is a sickness and this is against the very spirit of Islam.

     


  3. 7 hours ago, arch said:

    My parents are looking for my older sister and they really want her to get married before me. I’ve already told them that I am looking for myself and they are ok with it. I do realise that I would need the permission of my father so hence I would introduce whoever I find suitable to my family.

    Contacting Shia marriage agencies would be the best option as of now (provided you are a female, for males its relatively easier to find a girl).

    But be very stringent in reviewing your potential spouse and never try to rush into a marriage.

    If you use facebook, there are tonnes of pages of Indo-Pak Shia marriage agencies. You can use them to reach them.


  4. 1 minute ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

    I see, by the way, I don't there is proof that Bibi Maryam (sa) did shun marriage.

    Yes, but it was for her time. We are the Ummah of RasoolAllah (saws) and we follow his commands and take him as our role model.

    Before Islam came, Monasticism also has been the practice of the nation of some of the previous Prophets advised by the Prophets itself, but we don't need to follow it now. 

    We have our own time, own requirements and own ways to deal with us and God.


  5. 1 minute ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

    Continued...

    I strongly disagree with this statement, anyone can get remarried. If there's a will, there's a way and as long as people desire re-marriage, everyone gets the same chances.

    I appreciate your disagreement. Yes its true that not everyone wants to remarry. But a girl who is young and having a divorce for valid reasons should sincerely try to remarry before she gets into her 30s. That would be better for her spirituality and her material life as well. This is what Islam tells us about marriage (its helps spiritually and materially), only if the marriage is done wisely (with a religious, understanding and compatible partner).


  6. Just now, Gaius I. Caesar said:

    You're missing the point, look at the above text. I don't think she should remarry anytime soon, she needs time to recover.

    Celibacy is undoubtedly haram but not everyone's problems can be solved with Nikah.

    You're missing the point brother. The problem is her Husband and not the marriage. 

    Her husband is not religious, not trustworthy and a source of all those problems she has described.

    I'm not telling her to remarry asap but not to shun marriage forever (as Anonymous2144 said to be single and like like Bibi Maryam(s.a)).


  7.  

    3 minutes ago, Anonymous2144 said:

    There’s nothing wrong with being single and enjoying life while being devoted to God.

    Only and Only if you have no chances of getting remarried.

     

    3 minutes ago, Anonymous2144 said:

    Marriage itself is not wajib.

    Highly Highly Mustahab.

    The Messenger of Allah (S) has said, "There is no foundation that has been built in Islam more loved by Allah, (The Greatest and Noblest) than marriage."

    This hadith shows us the great importance that Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and His Messenger (S) have placed on marriage, such that it is the most loved foundation or establishment upon which the Muslim man and woman can build their life upon. If such a foundation is built with love, honesty, sincerity and true faith in Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and all that He has commanded, then there is nothing that could destroy such a firm building.

    It has been narrated from Abi Abdillah that, "A man once came to my father. My father asked him, "Are you married?" The man replied, 'No.' My father (as) replied, 'I would not love to have the world and all that is contained within it if it meant I had to spend one night without a woman (beside me).'"

    This saying from our sixth Imam (as) shows the importance that the rightful successors of the Prophet (S) placed on marriage. In this hadith, we are told that the Imam (as) would not even trade all the beauties and material treasures that exist in the world, if it means that he had to spend even one night alone! This may point to the fact that the evil whisperings of Shaitan may penetrate a single man or woman to go towards the prohibited and thus, contaminate his or her faith and belief.

    "And of His signs is that He has created spouses for yourselves from your own selves so you might take comfort in them and He has created love and mercy among both of you. In this there is evidence (of the truth) for the people who (carefully) think." (Surah 30, Verse 21).

     

    Really? Spiritual? GET A WIFE/HUSBAND!! Don't be like Iblis who said - God I want to worship you but the way I want to. (Not prostrating to Adam)

    Complete Submission is to follow what God Wills.

     


  8. 13 hours ago, arch said:

    Salam all

    I know this question has probably been asked several times but I still need some suggestions since I am struggling with this

    What would be a good way to find a religious spouse?

    A little about my background: I belong to the IndoPak subcontinent. I am living in a region in the middle east where shia population is scarce. I have a very small circle of people I know and hence I am unlikely to find someone. I’ve been using several websites like muzmatch and shia match since a long time but all my efforts have been in vain. Also, a lot of men on these websites seem dodgy so I am really paranoid. My parents aren’t looking for me so I am on my own. 

    Are there any private match makers who could help me out? I am open to relocating in the west or settling down here itself. I am not sure if sharing contact details of those matchmakers is allowed here but maybe you could send me private message in my inbox. 

    Any help would be appreciated.

    TIA

    Parents nowadays are having this sickness of making their offspring suffer the pangs of marriage.!! Really disgusting :(

    Firstly, why your parents are not looking for someone for you? 

    Secondly, even if you found someone, would your parents allow your marriage (permission of a Wali is necessary sister) ?

     


  9. 7 hours ago, Mahdiyya said:

    Salam 3aleykum,

    a sister sent me this, asking for your advices:

    Please advice me..

    I would ask you to do Istekhaara (via an Aalim/Sheikh) whether to divorce him or not. If answer comes yes, Just divorce him. (because all the things you mentioned makes him mentally unstable. He is not mature enough to make concrete commitments and to take huge responsibilities of establishing a healthy family).


  10. 4 hours ago, Shi3i_jadeed said:

    Why reject it? It's a good story with a good message. It's also reported in our hadith literature. Socrates was also very ugly yet was the wisest man alive well at least that's what the oracle said about him.

    Also, his name is reported as Juwaybir in a hadith in furu' al kafi. 

    https://purifiedhousehold.com/ugly-juwaybir-and-his-marriage/

    Some people are fond of rejecting things bro :) 


  11. The "ugly" Sahabi and a message to our elders and youth.

    Julaybib (Arabic: جليبيب) was a martyr and one of the less known companions of Prophet Muhammad in the early Muslim community. His name was acquired prior to his acceptance of Islam and is considered unusual and incomplete. In the Arabic language Julaybib means "small grown" being the diminutive form of the word jalbab, indicating that Julaybib was small and short, even dwarf-like. He was also described as being damim, meaning ugly, deformed, or repulsive.

    Julaybib's lineage was unknown and there is no record of his parents or what tribe he belonged to. All that was known of him was that he was an Arab and that he was one of the Ansar in Medina.

    With Julaybib in mind, Muhammad went to an Ansari man and said: "I want to have your daughter married." "How wonderful and blessed, O Messenger of God and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," he replied. "I do not want her for myself," added Muhammad. "Then for whom, O Messenger of God?" asked the man, obviously disappointed. "For Julaybib," said Muhammad. The Ansari went to consult with his wife, telling her of Muhammad's desire for their daughter to marry Julaybib. His wife was repulsed, and protested saying "To Julaybib! No, never to Julaybib! No, by God, we shall not marry (her) to him."

    While the Ansari was preparing to inform Muhammad of what his wife said, the daughter hearing her mother's protestations, asked: "Who has asked you to marry me?"

    It is said that she the daughter was so beautiful that there was none among the women of that clan who could compete with her looks. She was so shy and modest that perhaps the sky itself had never seen her head uncovered. She had so much fear of her creator and piety, that she would spend her days and nights in worship. The daughter asked what was happening, she was told that the Messenger of God wants your hand in marriage for Julaybib. As the Mother continued her crying and wailing the daughter spoke she said, "O my Mother fear Allah think of what you are saying are you turning away the Messenger of God. 'O my Mother it does not suit a believer to make their own decision once God and his Messenger have decided on a matter. Do you think that the Messenger of God will disgrace us? How blessed is the status of Julaybib, that God and his Messenger are asking for your daughter's hand on his behalf. Don't you know that the angels themselves envy the dust on the feet of one who is a beloved of God and His Messenger. Ask the Messenger to send me Julaybib for there is no greater privilege than for me to be blessed by such a husband, the Messenger of God has arrived with such a wonderful gift yet my Mother you cry and wail."

    She was married by Muhammad to Julaybib and they lived together until he was martyred in an expedition.

    She was married by Muhammad to Julaybib and they lived together until he was martyred in an expedition.

    On the day of the expedition his father in law, had pleaded with him: "'O Julaybib this is just an expedition, it is not a compulsory Jihad, it is a voluntary Jihad, therefore you are newly married spend some time with your wife."

    Julaybib, the one who had spent a lifetime in despair, had now found a loving wife. But he replied to his father in law's request and said, " 'O my father you say a strange thing, my Beloved Prophet is in the battlefield facing the enemies of Islam and you want me to sit at home with my wife, nay I will sacrifice my blood and my soul rather than see my Prophet facing hardship while I sit at home in luxury".

    Julaybib participated in an expedition with Muhammad in which an encounter with some enemies ensued.

    After that battle the Prophet of God, asked his companions to go and to see if anyone was missing from their family's and clans. Each one returned accounting for all his family members. Then the Prophet spoke with tears in his eyes he said "But I have lost my Beloved Julaybib, go and find him." They found his diminutive body lying next to seven enemies he had slain in the battle.

    The Prophet of God asked for a grave to be dug, as the Prophet of God held the body of Julaybib. The companions wept profusely "May our Mothers and Fathers be sacrificed for you O' Julaybib, how great is your status." Thus a companion who had once lived as an outcast, shunned by the society around him. He loved God and his Messenger and reached such a high status. He who was not good looking was blessed with a beautiful wife, he who was poor was blessed by a wealthy wife, he who had no family or status, was blessed by a wife with noble status and lineage he who had lived in loneliness and despair, was loved by Allah and his messenger, He had the Messenger of God say: " O Allah he is from me and I am from him."

    It is said: "That upon his martyrdom, that the sky itself was filled with thousands of angels who had come to participate in his funeral."

    Julaybib 'The Lonesome one' had become a beloved of Allah, and his prophet, he was lonely no more. Such is the status of the lovers of the Prophet.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Now after reading this "authentic" tradition, how many of our youths are ready to select a spouse only and only on the basis of piety and faith no matter the potential spouse has any physical defects (which are put in him/her to test him/her as well as those around him/her)??

    How many parents are ready to accept such spouse?

    This is the deen of Islam. The All Encompassing deen which doesn't discriminates among its followers on the basis of physical appearance. Taqwa is the only standard.

    If you really are a Muslim (of logic, reason, knowledge and love) then break the cultural taboos you've build around yourselves and break the face of Shaytan.

    Only Allah knows how much reward will this act hold for you on the Day of Judgement to marry someone pious completely ignoring their physical differences.


  12. I know no one here could write a piece that could ease your pain but we can all pray and ask you to be "Patient".

    The case you are describing looks like almost lost as she has given up on her. And you two are struggling so hard for your own lives as well. Just be with her and make sure you don't make her feel alone. InshaAllah you both will be rewarded. 

    God puts severe tests for those whom He loves the most. 


  13. 7 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

    Salam, i have posted about my masturbation issue before and I still can't get rid of it. I feel guilty after i do it and vow that i will not do it again and at the same time i pray and listen to lectures and at those times i am fine but then after a week or two i go back to doing it and this cycle has been repeating for the past 3 months and i have come to a point where i am getting thoughts like "I probably will never stop" and I just feel too stressed out and to be honest I don't even want to live anymore. I always wake up tired and lazy and drag myself to work and back and im about to go back to college in a week. I just feel like I've given up on myself.

    Start reading and listening Qur'an. I tell you this sin will go away surely. Surround yourself with spiritual people. Don't ever watch pornography (and think about sex) and focus on your studies. Be in Wudhu as much as possible and improve your sleeping postures. 

    All of this will help you become a better man. May Allah help you.


  14. 4 hours ago, Marzii said:

    Thank you for replying brother...

    Which Marja do I incline to for making my ghusl correct?

    Also, you are right I tend to doubt too much about everything

    You can mail the office of Ayt Sistani and they'll answer you accordingly. 


  15. 3 hours ago, gajarkahalva said:

    Washing the right side of the body before the left side is a recommended precaution not an obligatory precaution so your ghusl seems to be legit.

    She is not asking for the first time of wash. She again washed her right side and thus as an obligatory precaution needed to wash her left side as well. (according to Ayt Sestani).


  16. 10 hours ago, SuddenlyShia said:

    I am 50, I converted from a strict Christian faith to Islam 5 years ago.  After 1 year I accidentally attended Muharram . I was overwhelmed and began researching. I am now a follower/lover of Ahlul-bayt.  I am divorced and now all my children will be in Universities.  Although since divorcing long ago, and thinking I would forever stay solo,  I want to marry.  It is difficult to meet someone and I have been patiently waiting. Thru an acquaintance, I have been introduced to a Sheikh that is divorced and would like to marry. After a few short phone conversations, he has proposed.  I am unsure, for several reasons.  I have no Muslim friends(Shia community is difficult to be accepted into) so, I have no one to talk with.                                                                                                                                                                                                 1)He is much older than me and I worry I will lose him and be alone again  ( i guess that sounds selfish)                                                                                                     2)He is a scholar and I am convert....I am not sure I will be the best reflection of him...  I fear inadequacy                                                                                                   3)How can he know he wants to marry me so quickly and easily                                                                                                                                                                     4)Now that I decided I want to marry again ,  I may be silly , but I really believe in head over heels love, will he be silly and romantic with me ?)Anyone out there married to a Sheikh or know one really well ?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  This is silly and ridiculous to most of you I am sure, I want my marriage to be everything and to death do us part...I was somehow hoping I would meet someone and with me as his wife together we would become deeper in our faith... closer to Allah...you know  "behind every great man is a great woman"   I hoped to do Hajj ...walk to Karbala...visit Shrines..even study in Qom.   I have a dream of my home as an Azadari .  I would like to travel and speak (free of course).  I feel intimidated and not sure if me being myself will be enough for him ?   He says he is already sure, and just tells me to ask him whatever I want to know about Him so I feel comfortable.. Does anyone have the answer ?  Is it just me because I am American and a convert.  Should I just trust and make this work ?  I actually feel very honored and fortunate, I study Islamic history and read everyday,  I want to know everything possible  I pray for knowledge.. maybe he is perfect for me?...

    MashaAllah you are blessed so much to become a Shiah of Fatema and Ali (a.s). May Allah accept your deeds. 

    Coming to your question, before attending to his proposal try to find out his authenticity. Can you tell us where he lives? America? Iraq? 

    Why did he divorced? He is an Aalim/Sheikh, What made him take such a big step knowing divorce is not very pleasing act near Allah (only allowed in dire circumstances). 

    Why he wants to remarry and that too to a convert? (Din't he got Muslims to remarry?)

    Research sister, Research more about him, but don't doubt too much. I would say try to meet him (if you haven't met him) and see his sincerity. If all those questions are answered and you find him really worthy then don't put any bogus thoughts and just remarry. Provided (if) he is a (true) Sheikh then he can teach you Islam better. 

    The romance part will eventually come into being once you both get well together.

    May Allah continue shower His Blessings on you.


  17. 4 hours ago, Marzii said:

    Salam un alaikum everyone

    I would like to ask a question about ghusl..I follow sistani as my Marja...I tend to have extreme doubts about wudu ghusl namaz etc..

    I performed my ghusl and then doubted that I did not wash a certain part  of my body on the right side..so I washed that part but did not wash the left side of the body again which is an obligatory precaution and I know this rule already...

    Is my ghusl valid?

    Please reply soon

    You can make your ghusl right by inclining to another Marja for the 'obligatory precaution' part who deems the Ghusl to be correct even if the left part is not washed the 2nd time. 

     

    I see your previous queries are also about doubts. The only way you could conquer this problem (which Satan is trying to make you fall for) is IGNORING the doubt everytime it occurs to you. Another way is to make sure yourself about the completion of Ghusl and Wudhu everytime you do it. Like try to practice doing wudhu with just one glass of water. Try to take small scoops of water and once you have rinsed your hands for example, rub your other wet hand on properly on the hand you are making wudhu to make sure its completely wet for the allowed portion. For more help you can PM me as well.

    Also please see this thread - It'll be helpful on how to remove doubts and make your ghusl/wudhu right.

    https://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235060386-need-help-brothers-only/?tab=comments#comment-3187122

     


  18. 6 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

    Thank you for your response. I actually live in London- probably one of the most diverse, shia packed city outside of muslim countries. My issue is just the quality men available for marriage.

    Just think like this dear sister - Everything GOOD comes with patience.  We all here are for test. And we all are tested every second of our lives. Put your Trust in Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى.

    The ONE who created you and is fully aware of your state and needs. Pray to him alot. I mean ALOT. Sometimes Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى keeps away His material blessings from a person to make that person come to Him, beg Him and spend time with Him. Go to Him and InshaAllah He will provide you. He is Khayyr ur Razeqeen. He is your Lord. Your Creator, Cherisher and your Sustainer.

    Keep your search and Rely on Allah's Wisdom. 

×
×
  • Create New...