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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by SeekingEnlightment

  1. Yes I actually call her my 'naimat' and yes I know that we have to be very careful so that what we have doesnt become a 'relationship' and trust me its not. Everyone have their own experiences and the most blessed thing is the one that is guided by Allah himself ^__^
  2. Hmm? If she doesnt want to eat anything she wont. I dont get you. Let me just make it easier for you. If she wants to give away every single thing I have I will not utter one word of complaint. ~~ so the rest of that stuff ^ becomes minor ~ if its haram dont eat. :)) Im sorry if I offended you. I still dont quite understand you ^ But my point is that yes i dont know the 'basics' of shia Islam. But I trust her. And i know whatever she do she will do it right according to what she believes in. If i have to change myself to adapt to her I will change. If she wants to do anything I will let her. She can teach me if I dont know about and if she feels uncomfortable with something I can change though all of this ^ This is between me and her and was not the initial intended discussion of this post. ~ still fruitful in its way i guess ~
  3. If im totally honest with you all that you wrote ^ XD It kinda sounds funny that I will complain about such minor stuff :3 Its laughable enough for me really ~
  4. huh? I actually didnt get most of it ~ I also currently dont have enough time to do that big of a research on shia Islam ~ Also yeah I can claim that I will allow her 'total freedom' -_- for that I think I have more than enough knowledge about shia Islam. Also I already mentioned above ^ that I everything will go her way and I trust her completely. I will not repeat it again. Also like AGAIN I mentioned before ~ Minor things like her not having her feet wet or her not eating seafood. You may find it annoying but I personally dont. -_- so instead of judging someone's character beforehand try to READ and understand before assuming and hitting on someone. Thank you very much for your suggestion otherwise :))
  5. Whats 'marja' ???? And most of the people said its allowed ^ even though there are complicalities ~
  6. I understand what you meant now ~ Still Allah tells us to give religious freedom to everyone but ultimately the choice is ours. Ideological differences? ~ I think I mentioned it concisely before maybe indirectly that inshallah Allah will help us go through that phase too. Brother, the thing me and this girl have is much deeper than that which I have explained up there ^ I will just highlight some of the stuff so that you may understand. This girl; she is very independent, mature and understanding. Both of us know our differences well. When I say Allah 'chose' her for me. I really meant it. Our relationship with Allah is also much deeper than that. I read that Shia people believe in prophecies. Honestly, I dont know much about Shias or Sunnis. This girl introduced me to a way we both got guidance from Allah. I have absolute trust in her. I will let her do everything the way she wishes and will merely give suggestions. I also know that she will never let me give her total freedom or if I do she will constantly ask me for suggestions. The way our children are brought up will be upto both of us and like I said we both are mature enough to find a mutual way. Again though no matter what happens, I will never let this become an issue if I can instead be patient and let her raise them the way she wants them too ~~ I hope that clears up some stuff for you ~ Also, when the time comes, both of us will 'ponder' over this together. For now, I know for a fact that this girl here is my future and priority right now. Inshallah Allah will help us pass through any tests we face later on ~ Also no I am not offended :)) thank you for your concern though ~~ I also understand what you were trying to say :)) just maybe it was left a bit unexplained before ~~ Also, I see what you mean now and am really grateful that you cleared that one bit out and am honestly a bit relived that its allowed accourding to this 'fiqh' perspective. I also dont know what 'fiqh' means though :3 ~~ Again, thank you very much for your feedback ~~
  7. Especially since its based on mere opinions from what I gather with no reference quoted <<
  8. Kindly, understand or atleast read everything before writing as it helps avoid repetition . Yes I am GIVING her religious freedom. How else would you want me to phrase it? I honestly dont know xD I apologize if it offended anyone :)) Allowing her to practice her faith? Letting her? Its a simple give and take. Since we come from different backgrouds. She is GIVING me religious freedom just as I am GIVING her religious freedom. Yes, its true she still had that at her home and i wont technically be giving her anything 'new' but the fact remains that she will be living with me later on in her life. We will have a new home. We will both allow each other to practice our faiths. Happy now? :)) After marriage a new life starts at a new home ~ its simply mutual really ~ Also no I didnt say that. I meant that since there are many more Sunnis here than Shias maybe her parents MIGHT have considered the possibility that they may have to wed their daughter to a Sunni person. :)) Also thats maybe a tad bit offensive 'anywhere close to be a good shia family' especially coming from a person who is talking about the importance of words ~~ Thank you for your correspondence however :))
  9. Walaikumasalam :)) I have no idea what this 'ahlulbayt' is and i fail to see how she will leave its path ~ Also what you say is true. Even if I give her the Religious freedom it will be hard and there will be tensions between families and a lot of complicacies but I am sure that Allah will help us go through with it inshallah :)) Non-shia? Hmmm alright. I didnt think that that would be much of a problem as in bigger than her being sayyed and me not because the community we live in Pakistan. There are much more Sunnis than Shias so I had a feeling that maybe her parents would have maybe considered the possibility of her eventually marrying a sunni guy? even remotely?
  10. First thing, they wont exactly be acting 'arrogant' if they are merely following their beliefs. Secondly, I think one should refrain from judging anyone if one doesnt know for sure if they are the true Sayyeds or not. Thirdly, 'kiss their feet' thats kind of dramatic and personally on behalf of her parents which you know nothing about I find it a bit offensive so try not to judge please. Now. I am not the type of person who would just marry someone's daughter, even if the daughter in question agrees, unless I have convinced her parents that my intentions are sincere and inshallah I will be the best person I can ever be to their daughter. If they disagree I will continue my efforts in convincing them if it takes my life. One thing that I always tell this girl is that our parent's rights come before our personal desires and rights. They took care of us when we were born so we owe them a lot and we owe them first. They took care of us for years and we (her and myself) dont know each other that long. Despite the fact that our 'bond' is true. I will not marry her until her parents are happy with us no matter what. I will strive and be patient because if inshallah this girl is made for me. If hers was the name written in heaven before we were born then no power in the world can ever stop us from being together. We met each other because of Allah. If Allah had wished we would never have had been together. For that reason we will NEVER transgress the limits defined by Allah no matter how much hardship and tests Allah make us go through. She is Allah's gift to me. She is Allah's blessing upon me. I will not spoil it by marrying her without having her parents consent. Inshallah if Allah wills I will be among the patient ones on the Day of Judgement. Also yeah ofcourse I will not mention it to her parents about that or anything ~ thank you for your feedback otherwise ^__^
  11. Oh that spoon feeding thing meaning she explained it all into consumable bits and pieces ~ Also that may be true that she is not actually Sayyed but what if her parents think that she is one of those 'true' Sayyeds? Like that will kill the point and will lead us back to where we are if her family thinks they are actually the true ones cause it matters to them and they will make their decision based on what they believe in right? Also social media played a major role in our discussion so that may be one of the factors that their parents may notice?? Cause technically we met just once most of our discussions were otherwise through social media ~ Still anything I can do/say to convince her parents when after a few years I approach them? Ofcourse I will be earning by then and everything. Being stable all those necessary things are a must obviously other than that I meant ~ anything other than that from a religious perspective especially since I'm pretty sure I will be able to handle the rest with the blessings of Allah ~
  12. Also since I am Non-Sayyed I talked to this Shia-Sayyed friend of mine Ggnerally. He told me even quoted a saying from Prophet PBUH apparently prohibiting a Sayyed giving his daughter in marriage to a Non-Sayyed. That is basically my prime concern really ^
  13. Oh and ofcourse my life has changed dramatically after her. She spoon-fed me as to how I should respect my parents how to get close to them and to be patient if they get angry at me. Mashallah I at the moment think that I have the best family in the world. Everything is perfect right now. Those things that arent are merely a test from Allah. Parents dont get angry at meanymore and every single aspect of my life including studies and relatuonships and respect from society has taken a great jump towards the positive so ~~ yeah all cause of Allah through her ~
  14. Why? Why? I wont go into much details as to how Allah brought us together as a reply to this forum. It is because she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I have had family issues for years. I used to get locked up in room stay in depression for a long . Even considered suicide in all manners i was lost. I was never close to Islam. I didnt pray. Infact i hadnt prayed for years and i didnt use to take ramadan or any of it seriously. We actually met once professionaly. Professional talk lead to Islam. She told me stuff about how she felt pity on those who didnt pray. How she herself talked to Allah complained to Him about everything. I got jealous. Then something happened that made me see the Truth. For the first time ever I felt His presence and it was so dominating that i couldnt stop my tears. Hence started my journey towards being a pious muslim. I started praying regularly and everything. She actually wears a niqab complete with abaya. I fell for her Iman before anything else. We are actually quite young right now. Not the age that we can marry in exactly especially since she isnt even a legal adult yet. But we are commited(not in a relationship since that is Haram). It has been 9 months now. She means the world to me. Allah opened the path to Islam for me through her. I intend to spend my Life of Forever with her and that is the reason I intend to marry her since couples will get to be together in Jannah. As to if I will allow her religious freedom or not: Especially since Allah chose a Shia girl for me.. Obviously i will let her follow her faith. If you ask her what she is though she will simple state 'I am a Muslim.' She quotes this Shia scholar who says that 'Its better to donate blood than spill it on the streets.' So she is against that..thing so that was my only fear ever. I dont think way of salah or other things matter too much. Still things like Mutah. That are banned in one of our faiths. I will never allow that. Not to my daughter if Allah inshallah blesses me with one. Other than that again since through her Allah guided me I will not mind that my children pray the way shias prays and everything. Infact I would like to learn the shia way of praying myself so that when we are married i can pray with her. So that we may pray together. Also anything I can say to her parents so that it may help convince them to let us when that time in our life comes?
  15. Allowed? Will her parents be angry? (ofcourse we will ask for their consent) What can I say to their parents to have their consent?
  16. Personally, I find the the concept of mutah very very hard to consume. For one, it is a choice. Secondly, I cannot even imagine my daughter's virginity being taken by some temporary contract like this. The best thing about Islam for me is how much it protects and values the purity of its women. How much it emphasis for not just men but women too to lower their gazes and keep good intentions about everything. Then there is this Mutah. How.. I mean how is this even acceptable? It sounds so wrong. Maybe i dont know much about all this but I cant seem to grasp this concept of this being right at all. A temporary marriage? Isnt marriage supposed to last forever between soulmates? A lasting bond? Are you not gonna be with your husband in heaven? Arent couples made in heaven? Women's virginity is such a sacred thing. Her Iman and every single thing. I like how its a choice for the woman too but this type of marriage contract. Nah uh? Never gonna happen. Also there is that fact that it is not acceptable in every type of Islam. In all honesty it sounds like 'loaning a women' fine yeah i get that that woman will have all the rights of a wife and will be respected and all but still for a time? its like loaning or hiring to be cruder despite the fact that woman gets a choice in it. What bothers me is how its acceptable. If someone could explain why its significance and its rulings that would be great. Still however no matter what I strongly think that not many will agree to this kind of proposition ever if they are pious. I mean a man taking responsibility for a woman in a marriage.. its such a sacred thing. A bond its everlasting. How would a woman feel if say oh i will be 'not married' when im like 40 or something how does that sound? Sounds weird to me. Besides that, most of the proofs that I have read from Shias claiming that Mutah is right are unclear and are vastly disagreed upon. Even using common sense being a third party, when I see a religion so conservative and pure like Islam I will never believe that their Lord will allow women to just be married for a term. For their virginity to be taken like this and then after a time that matrimonial bond with that person vanishes.
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