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In the Name of God بسم الله


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    Shia Itnha Asheri (Twelver)

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  1. I haven't spoken to him about it. Only the girl and I think she has mentioned that. Its my turn today lol to convince. But will for sure mention that.
  2. Salaam I have met a nice girl. We both want to get married. Everything is in place, the families have met each other and everyone is on board and we have everyones support. Only thing her father does not permit a mutah. Her parents prefer us to remain na mahram until nikah. The nikah will happen in July or August. My family are non Muslim so they are not in a position to be able to help. The girl wants to do mutah too, we both now want to become halal for each other. She has tried to convince them but now its my turn. It will be too difficult to remain na mahram for 8 mont
  3. Precisely, this is not to do with race or culture. Just the role of attraction in spouse selection. As I was not rejected for race etc.
  4. Some of the things you mentioned are thoughts that occur in my head too. So I am probably thinking along the right lines. Thank you for the response.
  5. (Bismillah) Salaam Alaykum I am in a dilemma with using online matrimonial website and I am not sure what to do. Recently, I was getting to know someone for marriage. I saw her picture but she hadn't had seen mine yet. The conversation went really well and we were hitting it off. After about an hour or two of talking, I showed her my picture and she suddenly changes her mind and says essentially (paraphrasing) that I am an amazing person but attraction is important for her too and she wasn't feeling that and just like that, she ended it. Earlier in the conversation she was
  6. Wasalaam alaykum Very well done on cutting out sins. Such maturity and desire to obey Allah swt and abstain from sins at young age is a great blessing so please do keep it up and do not become disheartened if you are not getting the 'spiritual' feeling. A few things I would recommend in addition to what you are doing: 1. Ponder/think and contemplate. The Noble Qur'an makes a lot of references to pondering. A famous hadith of our beloved Prophet (pbuh) who says: "one hour of pondering equals 70 years of worship". If you ponder over the signs of Allah swt (nature, creation etc.), His M
  7. Salaam. I live in the UK. Happy to send you some. If you want and feel comfortable, you can PM me and I can arrange to send them to you.
  8. I wrote an article about this very topic and term, giving my perspective on it (3 years ago) http://bit.ly/1ZBCMx2
  9. Its metaphorical. Its like when the Quran says, wherever you turn, there is the face of Allah. Its metaphorical, just a way of describing His omnipresence (His presence being everywhere).
  10. Salaam alaikum I have read hadith or just advice which says a Muslim should wake up with concern for what is happening in the Muslim ummah. I have two questions: 1) What is the best way to do this? 2) How can we help those who are facing oppression? For question 1, in the past I have set up Google alert for key words such as Palestine and Yemen so I directly get emailed articles about what is happening here. For question 2, I often make dua and sometimes donate money. I have thought about attending protests/rallies such as Al Quds too. As a revert, I am reluctant, only
  11. I am a revert too (congrats!). This week has been much better but sti room for improvement. Its a work in progress and gradually over time it will get better iA. I have been using my headphones to listen to lectures and so I look busy. Maybe try something like that or take lunch at another time. iA make that first step and Allah swt will open opportunities
  12. Thank you everyone. Today was much better. I limited my conversations to the bare minimum and I also made an excuse for why I am taking the train (without lying) for the meeting. The only thing is that my colleague is taking the train with me. So although we will be travelling together, we will be in a carriage with a bunch of other commuters so that should be ok, I think.
  13. Another I am going to try is take lunch breaks at different times to them to avoid a situation where you are walking to the shops/kitchen/communal areas with them
  14. Yea its a tough one. At the moment my best option is to look unsociable i.e. wear headphones. I might run this by a scholar too and see what they think but I think the answer would largely be to limit as much as humanely possible. I mean if my female colleague says to me "hi how was your weekend" or starts telling me about her weekend, I can't just ignore her or whatever (hence whats humanely possible). Things like body language i.e. if the opposite gender starts a convo, don't swivel your chair or turn yourself towards them to indicate you are interested in a full conversation. One thing I do
  15. Thank you for the rulings. I am more looking for social interactions rather than bodily contact. Of course my intention is never lust or wanting contact.
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