YaAliMadad110786

Alhumdullilah we don’t do forced marriage in my family. But the Shia masjid in my area is full of Pakistani/Indians and so they all carry the same mentality “a syedzaadi shouldn’t marry a non-syed. Its haram” and will do anything and everything to prove that. My father told me he asked one of the molvis about this question and he said “its haram”. The problem I personally have with the men there is, even my generation believe in that and I don’t want to be with someone who thinks like that. I’m thinking ahead of time, what if I have a daughter who wants to marry a non-syed or there is a non-syed worthy of marrying her? I wouldn’t want to say no. I personally would marry a UK citizen or a citizen of a western country so I KNOW they’re not here for my passport(not being racist or rude)

I completely agree. My family have no problem with me marrying out of my race, and regardless of him being Sunni/Shia. Just has to be Syed to carry the “bloodline” on.

I hang out with a group of girls who are mash’Allah very decent, and somewhat religious too. I don’t seek bad company as I know what haram it could to do me in my life now and in the akhirah. I will remain patient

A lot of Syed men and some of the woman have lots of ego within them about it.

My parents will disown me if I marry a non syed, even if he’s worthy because hes not a syed.

So I don’t want to rush into marriage just yet but have considered it. Another problem is, I come from the indo-pak society, and I am A SYED woman. A lot of men even around my own age have a lot of ego about being syed,(may Allah forgive me but) there character usually doesn’t match their bloodline. My family are extremely strict about this matter, and WILL disown me and they rather I die(I’ve seen this happen in the past)

Aww bless you! Hope all is well! I’ve considered getting married BUT as I do come from an Indo-Pak society and I am a SYED, my parents forbid me from marrying out and that itself is hard enough, as not many of the syed men are very open minded, even around my own age. A lot have ego about it.

Before anyone thinks I’m disobedient or spoilt. I promise I am not! I don’t just walk out the door and disobey my parents. I listen to them. But I can tell my upbringing has somewhat destroyed my confidence of talking to people outside(such as shopkeeper or bus driver for a ticket) as I’ve become so used to the idea of having someone with me and speaking for me at times. I don’t want to live like this forever, and yes I have tried to speak to my parents

My dads friends are more conservative in thinking. But yes, they have no interest in mixing with people unless they have too(weddings, etc) but will avoid going there in the first place (minus funerals as they do pay their respect to the deceased and their family)

Salam and greetings, I am not a rebellious person, I do obey my parents a lot, and insha’Allah maybe one day they will understand my point of view. I will prove it through my patience but I will also stick up for what I believe in. I am a woman btw. But yes I get your point of view and I am looking into a part time job right now.

Insha’Allah they understand this time. I’ve spoken to them on many occasions but they are very stubborn and think I’m being silly.

I do agree with your points. No doubt my parents do love me and I do respect them a lot. They mean the world to me. But sometimes I do feel like their overprotection can feel overbearing if you know what I mean? I always obey them regardless but I have been trying to speak to them, in a polite manner. They know one of my friends and her parents, don’t mind me being with her( which I’m truly grateful for) and whenever I do talk to my friends other than her, I will make sure my mum can hear some parts of our conversation so she knows I’m not with bad company. I just would like to be able to go out and be independent just so in time of need, I wont need to struggle.

I read through all of that and oh my, that sounds a lot like my own parents. They don’t mind my interaction with the opposite gender as long as its about the work and I don’t talk to them outside college premises. I’m from a Pakistani background. I have tried to talk to them about this but they constantly brush it away saying something bad will happen to me. I forgot to mention, a Muslim teacher was speaking to my mother and was telling her good things about me and considered me “different” from the other girls as in, I don’t get into relationships etc. Made my mother feel good but still doesn’t trust me. Occassionally tells me that girls mess up if they go outside alone or with friends.

I’ve tried to sit down and speak to my mum, as shes easier to talk to and explain how I don’t want to depend on anyone ever. But no, they do not get my point. Even if it has made me feel depressed and somewhat anxious of the outside world

My parents aren’t the type of people to socialise but, my mother has a close friend who thinks my mother should track my every move down, because she does that to her daughter(shes younger than me by a 2-3 years) as she doesn’t want her going “off rails” but mash’Allah shes a decent young girl