ali_fatheroforphans

Being depressed for this long isn't healthy. The longer you wait, the more difficult it gets. 
Tell me how have any of the users here helped you? all you receive is just two or three duas which you can easily google. We can offer emotional support to you, but no one here is a trained psychologist.
I don't know why you're ruling out the fact that you need treatment. Talk to a real doctor who will help you in an organized and a proper way. Go to a Muslim doctor if you don't prefer non-Muslim ones, or join an online support group.
 

Regardless of how pure your intentions are, a bad environment will subconsciously affect you.
I suggest that you try contacting someone in the local masjid and see if any sister wants to share a house with you.