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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by ali_fatheroforphans

  1. Again a very cheeky jab at me, very disrespectful especially for someone who is married. You should accept difference in opinion and encourage those younger than you rather than displaying a "superior", "intellectual" attitude and belittling someone just cos he's unmarried.
  2. Wow you guys need to take what I said with a pinch of salt. Some users are talking about my sister while others are making assumptions and dwelling into my personal life by saying that I'm unmarried. To all the married brothers who found their wives by communicating online via email, zoom, shiamatch or whatever - that's good and it still doesn't give you a right to belittle my opinion. You got married, alhumdulillah I'm glad you found success on this platform. Remember- this is an 'opinion'. Also many users didn't like my point about face to face interactions. Yes, the fact remains, we humans prefer face to face interactions. Online platforms are not a place to be intimate etc. It's a place where we can investigate someone to some degree (if we're wise and intelligent), but not a place where one should try to establish a deep emotional connection. There are dangers that come with online platforms and I won't recommend it to a naive youth who has little experience of the real world. If someone doesn't live in a Shi'a populated city, then they got no option. I clearly said "especially if you live in a Shi'a populated city."
  3. Yes sister, I never liked what he said. @Gaius I. Caesar You always get personal man. Don't get deep into my life. It's just my opinion in an online forum. Keep my sister and personal life out of the equation.
  4. You're too attached to numbers. All the lectures I've heard always have some elements tawhid, belief in God etc. Are you just talking about lectures? Don't forget about the countless books! Also the topic of akhlaq links to the topic of God, since we're manifesting his attributes in our lives.
  5. In general, our aim is to have a correct understanding of tawhid and to ensure it manifests in our life. We need to do everything for the sake of Allah without any hidden shirk. Everyone is on a journey and we all acknowledge that. I don't understand this criticism Shi'as get that we focus a lot on our Imams (عليه السلام). Ultimately the masses need to have a correct understanding of tawhid. It's not a simple matter of "how many times have the Shi'as mentioned Imams compared Allah?". Also, it's a generalisation that Shi'as don't talk about the stories of the Prophets ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)). I can link you scholars who do host tafsir sessions and in those sessions obviously the stories of our prophets are discussed. I even follow certain scholars who focus so much on God. Why has it even become a comparison? Why is it a bad thing? when the fact is that our Imams (عليه السلام) are divinely protected and are even ranked higher than certain prophets ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)).
  6. Yeah after I finish my degree in uni, I wanna explore these options Inshallah.
  7. I think you failed to see a very logical link, let me explain myself so it doesn't appear to be nonsense. Let me give an example: If a Shi'a is obsessed about Imams (عليه السلام), it's because we believe that they are the best ones to describe God. The Imams (عليه السلام) would never say anything that God would disapprove of. Our Imams (عليه السلام) are divinely protected. If I want to know more about how to talk and whisper to God, I will open up Sahifa Sajjadiya and try to understand the words of Imam Sajjad (عليه السلام). Being obsessed about our Imams (عليه السلام) means that we continually refer back to them (عليه السلام), we must always share their hadiths and stories at every lecture. They are the link between us and God. If we want to understand God, then we must always refer back to them, otherwise we might end up like those who believe God can be seen in Jannah.
  8. Man exactly! I spent over 4 years at uni (I'm still there) and at almost every friday sermon, I always heard stories about Umar and Abu Bakar. Never did I even hear the word Ahlulbayt once. I'm not exaggerating.
  9. Yess a part-time one inshallah. I would love helping couples inshallah
  10. Salam, I wanna dedicate this thread to tawhid. Share the sayings of the ma'someen (عليه السلام) when it comes to tawhid. Share some important concepts which we all should know about tawhid, be it unity of divine action, unity of essence, oneness etc. Here is one hadith from Imam Ali (as): O Bedouin! The statement that ‘Allah is One’ is of four types: Two types cannot be applied to Allah, the Mighty and High; while the two other types can be applied to Him. As for the two types of statements that cannot be applied to Him, the first is the claim that Allah is One in a numerical sense. Such a statement cannot be applied to Allah, because as the One, He has no second, and He is not subject to mathematical calculation. Do you not see that he who claims that Allah is the third of the three has disbelieved (in Him)? The second statement which cannot be applied to Allah is the claim that He is One with humankind. Since He derives the species from the genus, He cannot be described through anthropomorphism [tashbih]. Our Lord is Higher and more Exalted than this. As for the two types of statements that can be applied to Allah, the first would be to say that He is the One who resembles none. This is a proper description of our Lord. The second statement which can apply to Allah is the statement that He, the Mighty and High, is Alone, in the sense that He is Indivisible in Existence [wujud], Intellect [‘aql], and Thought [wahm]. That is another dignified description of our Lord, the Mighty and High.
  11. "Lemme throw in couple of flowers before I add oil to fire."
  12. They are more Umar and Abu Bakar centric. Shias are Allah centric because the way our Imams (عليه السلام) describe tawhid is just on another level. Like when I read Nahjul Balagha, I see the purity of God everywhere. We must talk about the Imams (عليه السلام) and be obsessed about them to be Allah centric.
  13. That's the real issue here. No wonder why they go on to abuse their wives. Girls just don't look for any red flags. Past can be an indicator of the future. But unfortunately Muslim women are becoming so naive and open-minded that they believe "bad boys" have repented and khalas... all good. I feel men shouldn't be able to get away and we should hold them accountable. Maybe this is the reason why they "date" multiple women before committing to their perfect "hijabi" wife. They know people will not care about their past mistakes.
  14. Ayy my fellow Australian! Yeah there are some real shady people in Sydney lol
  15. Salam, I want to list some important points why I feel online platforms aren't the best. I have heard of many success stories (even on Shiachat lol) but overall the negatives, especially if someone lacks the real world experience, can be far greater and can potentially lead to hurt etc. (1) Woman get desensitized. For example, women on these online marriage platforms, instagram, muzmatch etc. Are approached by multiple men. It is a fact that if a woman is decent looking, uploads a picture of herself wearing the hijab, post all these Islamic quotes, they will have hundreds of men propose to them. This could work both ways, but men don't get approached as much. When they get desensitised, we're not that special to them anymore. Some naive men may put all there hopes in getting to know one sister yet they are unaware that they are considered to be bots. This could go both ways, but men generally don't get approached as much imo. (2) Online platforms aren't the place to get intimate. The real issue is when people use these platforms for a full on relationship. Let me put it this way - say you had been sharing your deepest secrets in life, throwing in thousands of love emojis, staying up all night feeling so attached. But, you found out that the whole time it was someone you never could have imagined. The fact is - we're not falling in love with the person. If a bot was getting intimate with us, we would still feel the same way. (3) Prioritise face to face interactions or over the phone (better than nothing) Use these platforms to simply arrange meetups (within boundaries and with a guardian). Put the person on the spot and trust me, you'll find out so much more about someone's character. People have the time to be fake online, they can decieve us by crafting an amazing response to our questions. In real life we can read other people's body language, facial expressions etc. we can imagine waking up next to the person everyday. It's a waste of time "getting to know" someone online. (4) People aren't serious. Now let me roast men for a bit - yeah, many men just love the experience of swiping through and seeing multiple women. It's thrilling for them and they just love the "feeling". Many people are bored and lonely in real life, so some simply use these platforms to fill their boredom and just find someone to talk to (they basically waste someone else's time). I'm not saying the majority are like this, but they do exist for sure. This is just my humble opinion. I hope you all can keep these points in mind before using such platforms. Don't put all your hopes on marriage sites etc. Don't ever let anyone decieve you, don't get offended if you ever get rejected, don't consider your success online as an indicator of who you truly are. Remember that it's not real! Focus on approaching people, getting to know your potential spouse in the real world. Don't miss out on these real world experiences, especially if you live in a Shi'a populated city.
  16. These things only happen when girls search for potential spouses online with little or no experience interacting with men in the real world. How do you expect such people to even know better? The online world is very deceiving and it's best if women and men stay away from it if they lack the real world experience. It's easier to figure out the character of men in real life. Proper investigation should always be done and parents should be involved. No dignified man would share pictures, unless he has a very shady character.
  17. Risalat Learning is a great self-study app which has all the lectures of Sheikh Mohammad Shomali in literally every science (fiqh, akhlaq, quran etc.) It's organised in a nice way. It's on google play store.
  18. The thing is that anyone who commits zina, has to go through certain steps. That's why people start raising many questions and feel hesitant to marry such a person. There needs to be some context because and we also need to understand the deeper psychological issues which caused a person to commit zina. We need to look at it from a case to case basis. Remember that people can spend anywhere between a few days to months to plan out such an activity. Once a person does act out, there is this sudden shame and guilt. Then people try to make new resolutions - "I will never ever do such an act again". These statements could just come from their emotional state. There are guys who commit zina with multiple girls. In this case, one would naturally start taking this as a red flag, regardless of whether he repented. My point is that it's not that straightforward and everyone has the right to properly investigate the person. However, if we truly feel sincerity and honesty from the person, then sure we shouldn't hold on to their past. An important point - no one is determined by their past. It's unfortunate but I'd say most people define us by our past when our choices and actions in the present matter. We can't change how people think, that's why it's so careful for parents to educate their children and ensure they don't get into such activities.
  19. Salam, We can impact society, influence, connect with and inspire others in the virtual world (through social media) or put ourselves out there and focus on the real world. In my opinion, truly influential and successful people only use the online world as a supplement, not as the only means. In the olden times, everyone focused on building a presence in real life, as no one had these virtual platforms. Now, we have people who can barely communicate with others in real life, but they are killing it on social media with their popularity, amazing captions, fancy profile etc. It's just something to reflect on. Our real world is what matters - those around us, our family and friends, our community etc. If we are neglecting real life experiences for virtual platforms, then we're not headed the right way. We should always prioritise on building a presence in the real world, and social media should only be used as a tool.
  20. "If our enemies besiege us economically, we are the children of Ramadan, And if they besiege us militarily, we are the children of 'Ashura." - Imam Khomeini (رضي الله عنه)
  21. 3) ali_fatheroforphans (super awesome guy)
  22. Yeah parents just hate it when they're kids approach them like that. It's like their kids just want them to set a marriage date, and boom... all done. Parents want to be a part of this spouse hunting game lol.
  23. Hmm it's hard to truly know because many married men who are suffering from this addiction won't seek help - maybe they have an ego issue or feel it will fade away on its own or are just ashamed. I used to think this way too, but now experts (even Muslims who specialise in this field of addiction), do admit that many married men are reaching out. There is this stigma so it makes it very difficult, and it's possible that the figures will be higher than what we estimate. God knows lol. The statistics are even shocking when it comes to pornography use - over billions of hours spent on one website in a year - according to one research. Also, the thing is that people who occasionally indulge in such behaviour are still addicted compared to men who frequently use it. There are some cases (I don't think it's common if someone has been exposed to this behaviour for a long period of time) where men aren't into it and don't need it in their lives. Therefore, an addiction, regardless of its intensity will always be there. Only if someone knows for sure that they won't indulge in such behaviour and feel no desire to - that's when they aren't addicted. I completely agree with you! Sexual desires are healthy and marriage is the solution for them. However, the issue is that sexual desires aren't the same as the urge to masturbate or indulge in some compulsive disgusting behaviour. One is an addiction - like someone who smokes weed, whereas the other is a natural desire for intimacy and a real human experience, which all our ancestors wanted.
  24. @AStruggler I'm sure you have many points to add.
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