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In the Name of God بسم الله


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ali_fatheroforphans last won the day on December 31 2021

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  1. Salam Alaykum sister, no one acts like that for fun or for leisure. It is likely that he has some underlying mental issues, in fact a lot of people do to varying degrees. It could be stress, trauma, depression etc. which will need to be assessed but do consider it a possibility. It may also be a result of lack of sincere attention to religion, sins. I am saying this because once one is freed from various mental and spiritual issues then these things won't be as frequent and one would have greater awareness. Also consider, if he says it only in the heat of moment and there are many times where he does say nice things, then you should be understanding and not taking anything he says to heart during anger and frustration. Divorce should be the absolute last resort and during heated moments you should not mention divorce the way you did, that seemed very spontaneous. You can approach it by understanding his situation, asking what is going on with curiosity and offering him all the support if needs any help with something. Be gentle with your words and don't fall to his level if he says something offensive. The minute you put 'divorce' in your mind, naturally you will look for the easy way out rather than working through the struggles of this relationship. I have known examples of marriages which have been saved through approaching similar situations in a calm way and keep this in your mind that people can change. I am sharing these humble reflections and this is only the initial step to exhaust a lot of possibilities before even thinking about divorce. Also consult some respectable sheikhs and learn from their experiences if they provide relationship counselling. Also be careful who you seek advice from because no one knows you or your situation entirely. This is why I am extremely hesitant to even suggest the possibility of divorce. I am only talking from a generalist, akhlaqi perspective with some knowledge of saved marriages (one which is my close relative is in).
  2. The Fallacy of the Pressure Cooker Argument. When one has been oppressed for years then obviously they explode not that it is justified. Lately I have heard this argument from Pro-Palestinians. It basically comes from an empathetic way of viewing the overall situation. That it is understandable why the pressure cooker explodes but not that it is justified. This tone is a bit negative and it reinforces the idea that the resistance group is Barbaric. That they are carrying out barbaric and uncivilized actions only because of the situation they find themselves in. This also takes away the focus from the ID,F. Also, lets be clear that all the allegations of rape, deliberate targeting of civilians, beheading of babies etc. are clearly false (no Muslim endorses any of these actions to start with). Then where does the idea of barbarity come from if one is defending their land and acting in accordance to the ethics of war? Is it not an honorable thing to be rising up against oppression. Be careful of the colonial language, put all your efforts in focusing on the real barbaric savages who are the IDF. Whenever you have conversations with others, open their eyes to this reality.
  3. Walaikum Salam, I am a male member but just wanted to say that there are plenty of female users here who you can talk to. Inshallah you find a good loyal friend.
  4. Wasalam, even in this community always good to be cautious, which is why it is safer to go to a center. Unless you have known the user here for a while and have done a quick reference check.
  5. Based on a lot of requests I have been aware of, this sounds reasonable to me for anyone who has an alright/decent salary.
  6. I don't think its fake or heard anyone even claim that it is fake.
  7. Those who are further spreading the lies and propaganda need to take more responsibility especially those in the West who probably have no idea how the resistance group operates. I have never heard this narrative from them and by their actions it is obvious that they don't target civilians purposefully.
  8. @kadhim We've seen the claim of the other side and unfortunately you were not able to provide anything with substance. The articles you linked were full of flaws I honestly did not know where to start. Please try to link something better or very good professional paid actors who might make me believe the lies and do a better job. Till now all these actors have been awful.
  9. @Abu Nur This is a discussion which can be had in depth. There are ayat in the Qur'an which draw a clear distinction between the oppressed and the oppressor. You can do more research on this and also look at the tafsir we have on the below ayat. In general, there is some right that the oppressed have to 'retaliate' and to make a proportionate response. At the same time what sort of 'retaliation' or 'response' is something that can be discussed because there should be rules and ethics that needs to be adhered to. But Allah will definitely treat the oppressors differently to the oppressed. One who makes a mistake and goes excessive out of years of oppression is treated differently in the eyes of God than the one who willingly decides to oppress and torture people out of greed and pure evil. If Allah treats them equally then one would logically question the Justice of God. But at the same time there are ethics that need to be adhered to and this does not justify any excess in any way (it is still considered a sin). One should never purposefully target civilians etc. And tbh the resistance groups have been pretty good in this regard most of their retaliation is by targeting soldiers and military infrastructure. وَلَمَنِ ٱنتَصَرَ بَعْدَ ظُلْمِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ مَا عَلَيْهِم مِّن سَبِيلٍ As for those who retaliate after being wronged, there is no ground for action against them. إِنَّمَا ٱلسَّبِيلُ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ يَظْلِمُونَ ٱلنَّاسَ وَيَبْغُونَ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ بِغَيْرِ ٱلْحَقِّ ۚ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌۭ The ground for action is only against those who oppress the people and commit tyranny in the land in violation of justice. For such there will be a painful punishment.
  10. SHS himself said in an interview: "If we were to come across any civilians, we need to take caution. We are fighting against the armed group. Killing, hurting, or even wounding any women, children, elderly is forbidden and unacceptable from the religious point of view."
  11. The likes of Sayed Jawad Qazwini are past that stage of being easily contactable as they have a gained a massive following. They have a thousand requests from others. My recommendation is to contact the ones who are a bit lowkey who you can find on instagram and other social media platforms. Plus I find these 'non-famous' ones can be far more knowledgeable and beneficial. Sheikh Zoheir Esmail is a good sheikh to get into contact with, he is based in London and you can find him on social media easily.
  12. I agree with you the statement that the brother made does not make sense nor is it entirely accurate. The resistance group was formed as a reaction to violence and to resist the occupation. Please note that the military group is just one subset of the overall party. While not every Palestinian may agree with the policies of the party and may attribute some corruption to it, they do support the military wing as it is the only way to deter extreme violence from the IDF and to keep them in check. Israel did not create the group because creating a group requires long-term objectives and it implies that they were under that leadership. Their objectives are totally different from Israel and receiving support does not mean they are with the IDF. It is clear that at present they do want to fight for the freedom of all Palestinians. It is also possible that they may have regretted their past decisions. Also remember that it is the innocent Palestinian kids who grow up to join these military groups when they see no peaceful alternative and want to defend their land. So when someone says 'I don't like', I hope it is not targeted to the freedom fighters.
  13. Its okay if you can't relate, you don't have to force yourself. At this point I am at peace with myself for not having any close non-Muslim friends, except one who is a Christian but still we're not that close. But don't worry about High School, it is a bit inflexible in terms of choosing the right friends, you did not choose to be surrounded with this cohort of yours. I think it will get better in university when you will have a lot more options Solutions: (1) You can find a Shi'a community (if there is any nearby) and connect with the youth there. Start attending events that happen in your center such as youth programs etc. You can also find some social programs hosted by Sunni organisations and start to connect with them. (2) Stay connected with the online community such as Shiachat although be careful to not surround yourself with the wrong group and precaution is always to be maintained (as you do not know who is sitting behind the computer screen). (3) Start connecting with cousins, siblings and other family members a bit more. I personally sometimes enjoy my time with cousins so much, I feel like I don't even need friends at times.
  14. He is no one to make that call of where people stand and how Allah will judge people. It is very strange for him to be using the hadith corpus and applying it to the Palestine situation when he does not even know what is within the hearts of the people. Read this article to understand some of the principles for salvation: https://iqraonline.net/reflecting-on-the-fundamentals-syed-khomeini-on-the-salvation-of-all-who-follow-religion-sayyid-kamal-al-ḥaydari-lesson-16/
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