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In the Name of God بسم الله

ali_fatheroforphans

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ali_fatheroforphans last won the day on May 7

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About ali_fatheroforphans

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    Shia Islam

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  1. That's not how the physical world works, and it is wrong to assume that's how the spiritual world would work. There are laws in this world when it comes to the physical realm of existence. For example, if we start eating unhealthy types of food, it is going to negatively affect our health. Once we have knowledge of the types of food which are good for our health, we will be convinced that to live a healthy life, we need certain types of food. Also, there are always conditions which are to be met. To construct a skyscraper, you can't be like "I can do this whatever way I like", because then you should be prepared for the structure to collapse. There is always a design guideline and standards which have to be met. Likewise, when we talk about the spiritual world, God has only created only one pure path which will make us successful in both, this world and the hereafter. It is actually an offence to create our own path which is based on our limited understanding. If we have no idea of the hereafter and don't even have an oceans's drop of understanding of our own nature, then what gives us the right to create our own path? People can come up with all sorts of crazy paths and claim that it will lead them to God regardless. Hindus say that we worship idols because it reminds us of God or symbolises him. But the thing is, they worship a God which is so shallow and limited in their sense. It is shocking how humans fall to such a level that they need something which is limited to understand God. Islam is about submission to that which is the truth. We have to be very careful to never claim "we love God and follow his path" once we create our own path. It's about doing things the exact way God wants them to be done. Truth and falsehood can never be mixed! When we decide to get closer to God, there should not even be a single trace of falsehood, otherwise that destroys the purpose!
  2. Can you make it and send it here in he village I live? You can pay for the shipping costs, I'll just pay for the actual Dolma. Thanks sista
  3. And there are, among men, those who purchase idle talk to lead (others) astray from the way of Allah without knowledge, and to take it in mockery; for these shall be a disgracing chastisement.

  4. I'm actually craving dolma even though I've never tried it before, apparently it's "good" according to Iraqis.
  5. @AStruggler how do you motivate yourself?
  6. Beautiful thread - I really needed it to be honest. I may go off-topic a little, but what I am going to talk about is very relevant when it comes to motivation. This disease of caring too much about "what others think of you" can hinder our personal growth and progression in life. Even if you pick a crowd of one hundred people, there will always be that one dude who will hate you for the silliest reasons you'd ever imagine. This is the nature of life, not everyone will support us in our journey to achieve our desired goals. Like you said, "only listen to what your mind says", this mindset can actually be life-changing. We often create these mental images in our heads and want everyone to validate it. There are times where we subconsciously find that we're constantly seeking the approval of others. It's different if you ask your loved ones, such as your parents etc. but constantly asking people actually lowers your confidence and you will find it hard to achieve your goals. Think about it, if we constantly want people to tell us how to live life, then that means we have no idea of the life we want to live. It's this mindset which affects a lot of the youth in the West - they live their life trying to fit in society, and in turn forgetting about the actual true path which will bring them salvation. I myself was affected by this disease, and now I'd like to think that it's not as intense as before. I always gave too much thought about the opinion others held of me. This is mentally draining because why should other people affect the way I want to live life? I am certain that the path of Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام) is the only pure path that will bring me success in this world as well as the hereafter. If I start paying attention to the good and bad opinions of others, then it means that I really don't have conviction. We shouldn't depend on these random opinions people constantly throw like stones, because it's just a part of life. For example, when I started going to the mosque, my own dad started calling me an extremist. Back then, I actually got very affected and would turn away from faith at times. However, now I've realised that you won't always have support, even if it's someone from your own family. Even when Prophets started preaching, not everyone supported them, a lot actually mocked them. Imam Hussein (عليه السلام) was willing to sacrifice his life by standing up against oppression, but how many supported him? These great personalities had true faith and only focused on the path which really mattered to them. So yeah, the biggest motivation for me is to simply focus on what I need to do in life to live a life which is worth living. If we live life having a firm foundation and belief system, not a single person can affect us. If you want to lose weight, don't let it be because of the fact that you got called fat etc. It should simply be because you truly want to do it for yourself. If someone wants to be achieve high levels of iman, our intention should be pure and our only aim should be to please Allah. I agree with you so much!!!!! Change comes from within. People can say stuff to us constantly, but if we have no desire to change ourselves, nothing will change.
  7. okay today I was craving fresh orange juice - the one which has no added sugar and contains pulp.
  8. Salam, How has your ShiaChat experience been? Mention both the positives as well as the negatives.
  9. @AStruggler yeah just quoting some hadiths from that book in case peope are lazy to open up the link. It's amazing how our Imams (عليه السلام) knew how this issue will affect our communities and hence they addressed it. The Prophet of Islam has said: “When the child reaches the age of seven years, arrange a separate bed for him."1 Imam as-Sadiq narrates from his ancestors: “The women and children of ten years must have separate individual beds."2 "If a mother rubs her body against the body of her own daughter, she is doing a sort of molestation."3 “A man should not kiss his six year old daughter, and a woman should not kiss her seven year old son." 4 "For the psychic welfare of the children, we should not expose our bodies to them. Sometimes the children might peep through the crevices in the bathroom door while we are bathing. or changing our clothes. We must ensure that the children don’t develop such habits."
  10. OP: I know you'll never be able to see your brother the same way and that's one of the worldly punishment your brother is receiving for this disgusting act. You shouldn't feel ashamed because he initiated this and took advantage of your innocence. The fact that he's not doing it anymore goes to show that he only had the guts to do it when you were young and innocent. Also, don't worry, I can guarantee that your brother won't harm you. However, you still need to be careful when you're around your brother even though he won't rape you. If he hugs or wants to sleep with you etc. Just be direct and say that "I don't feel comfortable and if you don't listen to me I will tell mum or dad". Still don't hate your brother and be rude to him, because there is a slight chance that he regrets what he did and won't ever repeat it. However don't mind if you feel your relationship with him has been affected, he asked for it. It's not even your fault. It's his loss. Yeah, you need to talk to a counsellor if you feel down or need emotional support. You could also talk to some sisters on this forum and be good friends with them, they'll defs help you a lot.
  11. These cases are common, but obviously this is an extreme case. The fact is that the op's brother didn't decide to do this to her overnight. This was a gradual process and he clearly was preparing her for it throughout the years imo. Men at that age can be animals, not that I'm justifying it. The way she was describing his behaviour, it seems as if he probably started fantasizing about her at a certain age. In a world which is bombarded with nudity and sexual promiscuity, you can expect these kinda behaviours. I mean look at Game of Thrones - one of this most popular shows out there which normalizes nudity and incest. When people don't accept religion, there is no morality, everything is subjective. People out there justify homosexuality but would frown when it comes to incest. The hypocrisy!! Also many guys out there may be thinking that way about their sisters - those who become animals by repeatedly watching any filth that is shown on TV. Just because some don't have the guts to actually act it out, doesn't mean we can downplay their disgusting tendencies. Honestly, I'm lost for words but we live in strange times. The music and film industry are really polluting the minds of everyone.
  12. Lool yeah I know it's very hard but nothing is impossible.
  13. Let me also make it clear that parents being too lenient and careless about religion is not a good thing. I know some parents have this mindset -"my children will eventually discover God, it's their journey". This is the most ridiculous thing ever, because you're supposed to try your best to prevent children from sinning before they become blind. For example, my older siblings go clubbing and my parents don't even care one bit about them. We are at least supposed to forbid evil and enjoin good. It's way to risky to just sit back and have that attitude. Obviously we're not infallible and our way of giving "dawah" may not be the best, but we should never lose hope. I know in our Pakistani community some parents are very strict in terms of their children following Islamic laws, and if you see the akhlaq of their children, you would be amazed. It's actually a skill to be strict and soft at the same time, and it's quite achievable.
  14. Drawing a line between culture and religion is difficult for most parents and maybe everyone. The more you acquire pure Islamic knowledge, you start to filter the good and bad within every culture. The fact is that our parents were born in a different time, and it's likely that they had limited access to many Islamic books by our great scholars. I know a lot of parents have only gone as far as acquiring knowledge during the ten nights of Muharram. It's a problem when you become stagnant in terms of gaining Islamic knowledge - this results in parents becoming ignorant to the teachings of Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام). The more we gain knowledge and educate our parents in a very soft and respectful way, it will affect them in some way. I find that very few parents are concerned about the spirituality of their children. Islam is deep and we have to make sure our children have a genuine interest in their journey towards perfection. Islam is not simply a religion of rituals that we've adopted from our forefathers. Islam requires contemplation and rationality (at least for the basic fundamentals of our religion). Also there's no such thing as being strict when it comes to Islam. I believe our religion is perfect and it is never meant to be a burden on anyone. If we improve our own akhlaq and let our actions speak, then our children will naturally feel like following this path. Parents also need to show their children that God is above everything. Sometimes parents even go to the extent of prioritising this temporary life over religion, which leaves children confused. Apparently It's all about gaining that engineering or law degree, then parents can sit back and say to themselves "I've done my part". Parenting is a serious job and it requires us to be proactive. It's not that black and white, where we either condemn them to hell or trap them at home. It requires us to be creative and play an active role in the lives of our children. I could probs write a 10000 page essay but I wanted to just raise these points.
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