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In the Name of God بسم الله

ali_fatheroforphans

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ali_fatheroforphans last won the day on November 29 2019

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About ali_fatheroforphans

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    Shia Islam

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  1. On a serious note: You're not asking for too because girls do exist who do the proper hijab, have no social media accounts to even post picture, aren't interested in interacting with the opposite gender without a purpose. BUT, remember that no one is perfect and rarely does anyone follow every detail in books of ahkam. I myself am ashamed to admit that I try my best but I neglect some laws of ahkam that might be difficult for me, not to rationalize or justify. The best spouse you'll find is one who is striving in this path towards perfection. If she is genuine, humble and sincer
  2. Well it's the coronavirus season so finding spouses in general would be hard.
  3. Salam Alaykum, I am trying to gather a list of contacts and want to know if a very knowledgeable a'lim does private tutoring of hawza subjects? Do you know of potential contacts? Someone who genuinely wants to benefit from a teacher but not necessarily enroll in an official in an institution?
  4. They read a few books and think that they know everything. They hold a tasbeeh in their hands and care about them appearing religious. They always start picking on the fault of other Muslims who appear to be "less religious". They criticize many scholars simply cos those scholars hold different opinions to them. They feel as if the ummah needs them so badly. They exaggerate their few good deeds and always ignore the good others do. They are quick to always question the intentions of others who want to do something good, but they feel everything they do is qurbatan ilalah. They just hang around
  5. You're right, parents are very protective of their daughters and don't let them go out, I actually think they do become very unreasonable. If men miss out on opportunities, yes maybe their parents were strict and didn't give them much encouragement, but largely due to their own laziness and personal unresolved issues. There is absolute no excuse for a guy in his late twenties to be still living with his parents (not saying it's a bad thing) and missing out on so opportunities, in terms of marriage, career, finances etc.
  6. It's not always the parents fault, a lot of the youth are sitting at home jobless and not taking action.
  7. Get involved in your local Shia communities and expand your network.
  8. There is a book, recently released by a very well-known knowledgeable Shi'a scholar called "Islamic Plan for Life" by Sheikh Mohammad Shomali. It covers pretty much all the basics, even laws and the social aspects of Islam. You can download the 'Risalat Learning' app which can be found on itunes or apple playstore, this app should have the ' Islamic Plan for Life' ebook. Insahallah you benefit from it. There is another book which I personally benefitted a lot from ' https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-teachings-brief-sayyid-muhammad-husayn-tabatabai It's a great concise book written on
  9. Salam Alaykum, Do you think the Arabs in pre-Islam Arabia did extensive research and then they were qualified to become Muslims? They were very simple people, I would say they had lower IQ than the average person in this generation. But once you become a Muslim, then you have to strengthen your faith by acquiring knowledge. You acquire as much knowledge till you become certain of the tenets of our faith. It's possible to reach that stage where you know that there is a day of judgment, like no doubt exists. Also, no you are not required to study other religions, unless you wann
  10. @Khurasani I agree with a lot of the points you made regarding willpower and some sort of false beliefs and thinking errors which have been formed over the years. I also feel that your mindset is better than a lot of other people who talk about addiction. You are headed the right direction definitely. No one has to wait till two years, if they are waiting and counting days, then they aren't changing their lives and truly rebooting. I'm only stating a biological fact that if a person consistently follows as "SYSTEM" (be it a recovery coach, therapist or a self-made one, or whatever),
  11. This confirms to me that even you don't understand the complexity of porn/masturbation addiction. You can take those many weeks to build new habits and gain some control, but never enough to rewire your brain permanently especially if you've been addicted for years. If someone can take 3 weeks to quit their addiction for good, well I question whether they were even addicted to start with. Also your response neglects many other deep issues such as trauma which make it so much more difficult for some people to quit addiction. Also, If that is the case you always hear so many countless stor
  12. No for them the thought of doing such a thing never even crosses their mind and they have zero interest since they're not addicted. But generally with masturbation, even the people who think they aren't addicted and do it casually, there is a high chance that they are addicted but have rationalized it. Tell someone to abstain from it for 2+ years that's when you know they aren't addicted.
  13. I was blunt, cos this advice reflected ignorance. I said what came to my mind.
  14. This is absolutely false with an obsessive addiction like masturbation. Your willpower will eventually be exhausted because it's not part of your subconcious. Which is why so many people go on their lives relapsing time and time again. One more effective skill is to learn and build ways and mechanism to manage deep issues/pains, traumas and emotional triggers that lead you to this behavior. Having effective relapse prevention methods that you use time and time again is also one way.
  15. It takes roughly about more than a year to two years biologically to rewire your brain, given that you follow a proper system and obviously don't engage in other things which fire up the same neuropathways in your brain. For example, if you stop masturbation for 50 days but during those 50 days you engage in other unhealthy activities such as social media binging that give you that dopamine hit, then in reality your brain isnt rewiring.
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