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In the Name of God بسم الله

HopefulBeliever

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  1. I have rarely picked up a gripping Islamic book. The issue is that most Islamic books tend to be poor translations or too textbook like. Also, the books about the Prophet and Imams don't tend to contain many biographical elements but typically tend to touch on generic hadiths whilst complimenting and praising these wonderful personalities without any justification. I want to learn about their up-bringing, childhoods, challenges, struggles, relationships, encounters etc. I would appreciate any book recommendations that you have read and enjoyed as a native- English speaking person considering my comments above. Feel free to recommend books that are not necessarily about the holy personalities.
  2. Salam alakum, Growing up I listened to various genres of music. In my community I was surrounded by individuals/ family/ friends who were very strict and did not listen to music at all under any circumstance (they would walk out at weddings with music playing) and others who would listen to music in every circumstance. I saw it as harmless, it generally lifted my spirits, entertained me and allowed me to relax. My favourite genre was "indie" music which had no/ minimal profanity and was rarely offensive. However, over the years I stop listening to music for the duration of Ramadan and found this quite easy. Since Ramadan 2018 I have not played any music at all. At that point I decided it was better for my soul not to rely on songs and musicians to sooth me and instead I will focus on dhikr and my faith instead. Since I decided to quit listening to music I have had moments of temptation but I haven't given up even when I had really low and depressing days. Please note I have not been diagnosed with depression or any mental health illnesses but I have seasonal bouts of depression, anxiety and low moods which can be very difficult i.e. I question my life and find it hard to get through the day and continue with life. Today, I am having a low day and am really tempted to play something uplifting. Please share your thoughts and experience about using music to calm the mind and entertain etc. Feel free to share hadiths etc about the above-mentioned topics but please note that my madhab permits playing music with no profane content but I am just taking a precautionary stance: http://english.bayynat.org.lb/Editorials/Shariah_Music.htm
  3. Salam alakum, I appreciate your responses. I have become a lot more flexible with age- even considering guys 8-9 years older as I now realise older guys are more likely to be mature and want to settle down. Although the older the guy the more I start to think that he may have messed around in haram relationships if he has never settled. Anyhow- that's a discussion for another day and I am giving these guys a chance. I am also looking for men online on various match-making websites... I am very active in the community and have many interests but very rarely do you get anybody approaching you if they're interested/ looking for marriage- when were muslim men ever gutsy enough to do that (with class i.e. not being creep). With regards to waiting for when I'm older for proposals it's less about my "fear" of not meeting somebody later in life it's about my fear of not meeting somebody soon and committing haram as a result of this. I do appreciate your reassurances though. Thank you all for your kind words and support- they have been helpful.
  4. Thank you for your response. I actually live in London- probably one of the most diverse, shia packed city outside of muslim countries. My issue is just the quality men available for marriage.
  5. I'm ok thank you. Marrying somebody my father's age is a tad disturbing. Also, the generational gap is too much- our mentalities would be very different. Even the imams recognise the differences and gaps between generations.
  6. Of course, marrying a sunni is a last resort particularly because of the issue of raising children. Yes, all of the guys I've met but just don't seem to know how to keep a conversation going or have any interests outside of the gym or shisha. I've met plenty of interesting non- muslim non-shia guys in my life but all the prospective men have been dull and in-inspiring. Probably just my luck or maybe all the good guys are taken, lol. Tbh a lot of my beautiful, intelligent, practicing friends are single and it really boggles my mind. Like you said I can't fake my personality and don't want to. Alhamdilalah I get on with the majority of people and am very sociable so my qualities can't be that unattractive surely. Also I've noticed an interesting juxtaposition (if you can call it that)- many men want a sexy, attractive woman but want a super, hijabi, modest woman... so when you share pics they assume you're one and not the other. You can't win.
  7. Salam alakum, I already feel ridiculous writing this post but I would genuinely like to hear other people's thoughts/ experiences. I have actively been looking for a husband over the past couple of years via online match-making sites. Also, my parents have introduced me to some random prospects, I've asked some close friends if they know anybody and nothing has seem to come of it. Most guys I've spoken to (generally in their 20s) cannot keep a conversation going, don't have any intellectual interest in Islam or are simply don't seem interested in genuinely settling any time soon or are simply not interested. I am not bad-looking, I practice my faith in a committed but balanced manner, I am relatively smart so I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I am also open to guys with different backgrounds and am not too fussed about looks. Do guys in their 20s generally not want to settle down? Am I expecting too much of a guy to have an intellectual and interesting conversation? Perhaps guys are put off by a confident girl? Am I missing something? I am starting to give up and am close to considering sunni prospects. I really don't want to do this as the ahlulbayt are my everything but also, a woman has needs. Any suggestions on how I can meet a good, decent guy?
  8. This is such an important article- thank you for sharing. It is such a shame that women are not being provided the same learning and development opportunities at Hawza as they did decades ago. They must have reduced access out of fear of women being too empowered. Subhanallah it is fascinating to see how insecure men can be in this regards. Sometimes I think our society is going backwards not forwards when it comes to improving women's rights and access.
  9. Thanks for the wonderful and eloquent responses all, mashAllah. Some real food for thought here. Keep the responses coming.
  10. Salam! I'm here for you- feel free to PM me. I am 23 year old Brit. Take care
  11. Salam alakum, This is my first post on here so hello all. My question is in reference to the holy imam's quote below which I am sure many of you have heard: Imam al-Sadiq (A.S) said, ‘The world is the prison of the believer, the grave is his fortress and Paradise is his final abode. The world is the Paradise of the disbeliever, the grave is his prison and the Fire is his final abode.’[al-Khisal, p. 108, no. 74] My question to you is... to what extent do you really feel that the world is a prison? I ask this because alhamdilAllah as somebody who has a happiness, health and an amazing family I feel that I would rather not be here a lot of the time and would rather die. Is this something you can relate to? (If not, I should probably get some help with my mental health...lol) I am genuinely interested in people's thoughts!
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