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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. Asalaam Alaykum, Okay brother. I won't post any more. Thank you. Sarah
  2. I have already talked to a few peopke about my marriage because I didnt know what to do and also because I was confused and frustrated. Now that you mention this I am scared. What if he finds out? Sarah
  3. I have already talked with a few people about my marriage because I didnt know what to do and maybe also because I was scared and frustrated. Now that you say this it scares me. What if he comes to know? Sarah
  4. Asalaam Alaykum, Thank you all for your replies, I appreciate it very much. Let me tell a bit more about my situation. It's not like that he is very abusive, he never layed a hand on me and I think he would never. What worries me is that when we were engaged (which was for a year) we already had problems. He would get upset/irritated with me about unimportant things like my forgetfulness, me being not organized, not getting ready on time, according to him me not listening to him etc. As far as I am aware of there weren't any big issues or problems to be upset about. It's not arranged marriage. He came and asked for my hand, my parents liked him and so did I. Before this I was never in any kind of relationships. During our engagement I was most times crying and I was unhappy, but every time I consoled my self and told myself everything is going to be fine once we live under a roof. Maybe his changing mood is because he is on his own in this country (in the EU), he has to work and save for the wedding, he has stress because we have a big day ahead ( which was our wedding day). I did get angry about him being not open with me back then and I did shout at him sometimes why he didn't tell me what's bothering him, because I very much wanted to help him since he is my husband. During our engagement we didn't go out very much because he is working. Beside this whenever I offered him to go out somewhere he sometimes didn't want to and he also didn't wanted to talk to me on the phone. It was as if he wasn't interested in me. I waited and we eventually got married and now I am in this situation. When he gets irritated or angry he doesn't want to talk to me, he gets distant. He even doesn't want to tell me why he is upset or angry. In whole I think and feel our relationship hasn't improved since our engagement. It is as if he doesn't realise I am his wife and his live partner now. During our arguments and discussions I told him how he could say hurtful things to me I am his wife. He told me I am making him angry and upset and as a result of this he cannot control himself and says these things. Overall long story short: when I try to be kind towards him, talk to him and get closer to him physically and emotionally he takes distant. Whenever I asked him to talk together, go out somewhere he doesn't want to. He then tells me he cannot, he is not in the mood etc. we are newlywed but I don't notice the signs he's interested in me: he doesn't console me when I cry about what he told me, we don't go out, he doesn't ask what I want, about my likes or dislikes. He tells everything is because of you. He tells that I make him angry and sad. I don't mean to tell you all it's all his fault or his problems. I also get angry and sad occasionally about him, especially when I don't get his attention. I have been craving for his attention from the beginning of our engagement. He helps me with the chores, we go out shopping, he cleans the house and helps me with cooking, but these things are normal to do for a spouse, right? One night I couldn't tolerate anymore I told him everything that bothered me during our engagement and asked him why he did marry me if he doesn't love ans trust me. He told he made a mistake by doing so. After that I cried a lot that evening. He didn't tells me this but this was the third time. About him telling me he would hit me: We were on our way to somewhere when we got into a argument. He told me something I didn't like and I asked him to stop the car. He told me he can't stop in the middle of the road so I insisted and he told me 'I give a clap on your face'. Sarah
  5. Brother are you serious? It's not that easy to just go for a divorce. Beside this you are nor aware about the whole situation so please don't mention the word divorce (saying this with a calmness, I am not angry). I just don't know what to do. I only know that I am very confused and sad. I just want to cy and shed seas of ears. Sarah
  6. Asalaam Alaykum, I've been married for three months now. Prior to my marriage I used to be engaged woth my husband. I've heard alot that the beginning of a marriage is always hard because spouses have to get to know eachother. But what makes me worried is that my husband is already unkind towards me. He get quickly frustrated, angry or irritated. He told me a few times if I walk on his nerve we wouldnt last long and maybe we would have to separate. He once told me I will hit you. Whe I want to tmjust talk with him, sit with him or have a romantic moment with him ( I find this is normal, especially since we are newly wed) he get angry or irritated and rejects me in a way. He does this by saying he is not the mood or he doesnt have time or he has something else to do. I dont feel welcomed in his home. This wrenches my heart to the core. What can I do? Sara
  7. Asalaam, Do you guys think 15k wedding is alot? My family member got married with this amount and this covered all her wedding costs from a to z. She got about 2k of the recompensated through gifts at her wedding. So basically she spent 13k. Sara
  8. Asalaam alaykum brother Hadi. May I send you a private message? I have a very important question. I would be very happy if yoy could advice me. Thanks in advance, Sara
  9. Asalaam Alaykum, I have a question regarding gambling. One of my friend is using the investment app called Plus500. Basically this app is online marketing. You could pay them money and invest in oil, bitcoin, money, zilver, gold etc. Does anyone have any familiarity with this app? Is this considered gambling? I am very worried about my friend and like to help her out. Thank you, Sara
  10. I dont think my OCD is severe because Alhamdullilah just perform well in my daily life. It is just that these thoughts keep coming and bothering me. Its making me insecure maybe this is because of my past. I have experienced bullying and the thoughts has stayed with me since. Most times I think I am less than other people and that I am not strong enough.
  11. Asalaam Alaykum dear SC members, I have what it is called intrusive thoughts (or vasvas). From the day I wake up until the night time I suffer from negative thoughts which is affecting my studies and relationship. Most times these thoughts are bothering me and as a result of this I lose my valuable time thinking all the time. At theend of day I get mentally exhausted. Even right now whilst I am typing this the thoughts arent stopping and is bothering me all the time. I feel like I am not myself as if I am outside of my body. I have had therapy and meds in the past and now I dont. The therapy did work for me to some extend, but why dont I get better? Especially that I am now married (not living together yet) it scares me. What if I cant handle my responsibilities in the future as a wife? Has anyone had this experience? Did you get better and yes how? Thanks in advance. Sara
  12. Asalaam alaykum brother, Your reply touched my heart. I have always thought I would get married to a relatively/absolutely religious guy, but it seems like Allah wanted something else. We people could also be the means of a helper to help someone become more religious. He is not non religious but I think that he kind of needs some structure in his life. He is far away from his family for years and has been always living alone. If I ask him what are your ideologies or ideas about raising your kids. He tells me that hasn't come right now (he means that it will be alright). He is sometimes not what he wants and as a result of this leaves me with with my questions unanswered. Sometimes he provides me with answers and later he says something else. ( I am confused).
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