Ali39

I never intend on doing this again, I've made dua several times pleading to Allah swt for forgiveness and I feel as if there's a weight on my heart that isn't moving. I've gotten closer to faith, family, and truly the things that actually matter in life now. I feel like my path is more clearer, however I truly regret what I did and still think as to why did I do this. I've never done anything like this before, I've resisted all urges but I caved in the end, for what? I'm really distraught over this and just constantly upset.

Thank you bro. I am an only child, the only thought going through my head is the pain I would bring to my mum and dad, aswell as my Fiance. How do I repent from this? I have been crying and pleading to Allah to forgive me. I am a 110% determined to never ever do anything like this again, and also to work towards being a better Muslim. Is there anything else I can do? Also in regards to STDs my major concern was HIV eventhough both girls reassured me they're clean. I am still just a really anxious and stressed person. Thanks for your reply bro.

Asalam o alaikum. I have committed a grave sin, I have engaged in premarital sex with two women, of whom I paid for intercourse. I deeply regret what I did, I've not slept nor ate in the past 2 days now. I used protection, however I am still scared of contracting an STD, although the chances are very small. I am engaged to a girl I love, and who loves me. We speak regularly and we're in a happy relationship. I never ever thought I'd do something like this, it just happened suddenly without me thinking of the repercussions. I have cried and prayed for forgiveness, pleaded to Allah quietly sitting on my bed to forgive me for my sin, I will never do anything like this ever again. My biggest fear is, I am an only child. My parents did a lot for me, they have endured a lot for me, and this is how I repay them. I am truly disgusted by the sight of myself. I can't bear the thought of what I have done. I am really regretful of my actions. Same applies for my fiance who I love dearly, she means the world to me yet I cannot comprehend why I'd so something so disgusting and foolish. I am truly.. lost, even suicidal. I'm depressed, I can't sleep or eat, I sleep 2-3 hours maybe and then wake up. It's 5 in the morning where I am in the UK. I just need guidance and prayers that I am well. What should I do to repent for my sins? After this, I have really began to value everything around me. My parents, my fiance, my friends, each moment of laughter and joy, to be engaged in your religion. I feel as if it's made me value everything much more simply because of the fear and shock I've received. Please tell me what I should do, thank you.