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In the Name of God بسم الله

habib e najjaar

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Everything posted by habib e najjaar

  1. This has been a pleasant journey people اللهمّ احسن عاقبتنا في الأمور كلِّها و اجرنا من خزي الدنيا و عذاب الاخرة
  2. I remember when we were younger I used to wonder why mom said reading is a luxury. I think I have entered that phase in life now. I can not even watch a full documentary or movie (which used to be a luxury type hobby), and reading was one of the staple activities of my day. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grant us barakah in our time, and make every moment of our lives dedicated to Him, and Him alone.
  3. The old look brings back so many memories. You are not the first oldie to ask for it. Nor do I think it is under consideration.
  4. Shahr Ramadhan has gone by too fast this year. Way too fast
  5. Lool.. nah I switch off video and muted audio after the introductions. Taped over webcam too so I don't have to worry about strict hijab. Though I would like to try this out on a less formal meeting
  6. If you normally buy retail rice at 150 per 750 grams, pay that much. If you buy bulk and the price is significantly different from retail, then a scholar we asked once recommended giving as per retail price. Alternatively, but 30x750 grams wheat and give it out.
  7. Struggling to stay awake at a zoom training session for work. This is tough. hoping the covid threat and the resultant theatrics end soon.
  8. What is the cost of 750grams of the person's staple food, e.g rice, or wheat, or dates?
  9. LoL. Does anyone ever come across women who get fetishes over any male parts? I hope prefering a person who has a beard (naturally) over a person who is unable to grow a beard (naturally) does not fit in the fetish box too.
  10. What of non Muslim men? I was thinking of something common across the board for abusive people, irrespective of their religious inclinations. In my opinion and experience, I would attribute it to a poor upbringing, where one has not been taught to exercise restraint when in power/having the upper hand. This can be manifested in physical, emotional, verbal, financial, or any other form of abuse.
  11. Reminds me of my grand mother who passed away about 47 days ago She had a couple of mango trees on her property, and noticed her fruits would go missing overnight. So she suspected someone was nicking them during the night. She used to wear an all white prayer gown, so one night she she stayed up doing dhikr on her front patio dressed all in white, but it was completely dark. Then she saw the thief come in with a couple of baskets and pick plenty of fruit. Just as the thief finished filling the baskets, and was getting down from one final climb on a tree, she walked up to them and stood directly behind the person and said "Salam alaykum" (remember she is dressed all in white and her face isnt particularly visible owing to the dark. The person ran off screaming, so grandma picked her baskets full of harvested fruit and took them indoors and went to bed. The next day the neighborhood was abuzz with stories that grandma's farm is haunted and she has kept a jinn to guard her fruit trees. Saved her fruits for a while. Kids don't fear jinns though. May Allah rest her soul in peace. I really miss her.
  12. Wa alaykum salaam, Please elaborate, what ideology and beliefs specifically to they adhere to that bring out such characteristics in them?
  13. I think duas do work, and that there is an intelligent force behind them, whether or not they are answered. A relatively recent experience I had about a year ago, I was a little over 3 months expectant and past the worst of the morning sickness. I was generally OK but going through some mental turmoil. One day after I got back from work and started feeling extremely sick out of the blues and felt I was going to loose my children. So I prayed fervently, truly and fully hoping that they would be saved and that I would get out of that feeling safely without any harm to myself of my children. I sincerely prayed with full concentration and desperation for an urgent reply to my duas. Within an hour, I suffered a life threatening miscarriage and was on the brink of death. So, does this mean my dua was not answered? Fast forward to 2 days later, as a result of the behavior of some people in my life during the miscarriage, I ended up getting a lot of information and confirmation of the reasons which had kept me in a state of deep emotional turmoil for close to a year. Getting that information and confirmation led me to make some tough choices which have alhamdulillah ended a lot of pain, turmoil and grief in my life. So, I feel that my duas were answered because: 1. If my twins had survived, I may have not reached confirmation and the necessary actions to prevent me from further harm and pain in my life and that of my other children. 2. If they had survived, it would have been quite a challenge for me to raise 5 kids on my own. 3. If they had survived, from an ahkaam perspective, I would have been prevented from taking some necessary steps in my life for another several months. So clearly, my duas were answered by someone who was aware of the cause and reason of my turmoil, as well as what it would take to make me take steps to "save my life", and answered my duas in a way that I would not have "wanted" but i "needed" and greatly appreciated once it happened. And because I asked no one but Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for help at that time, I cannot attribute this answer to duas to anyone else or anything else. Secondly, for me, this is proof of the existence of an intelligent and compassionate "force" that responds to our requests, and to me, this force is Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)
  14. Wa alaykum salaam, May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) give you success in overcoming these feelings. I can not offer any practical advise based on experience, and do not mean any insensitivity but this is what I would suggest for any vice/sin/immorality one feels inclined to, be it binge eating, gossiping, anger or in your case homosexuality: Anything that has developed an appetite/craving in the heart, started in the mind. What caused this thing to pass through the mind may have been voluntary or involuntary, for example, there are many cases of people who developed such feelings as adults but went through abuse of this form in early childhood, so an imprint was put on the mind, which then got transferred to the heart after replaying in the mind, and the heart is what gives rise to will and movement of the body organs/muscles to commit a good or bad action. So, you can work on ridding your mind of this replay tape that will keep generating material and sending it to the heart, which naudhbillah, will have the potential to transfer it to the limbs. Similarly, feeding the mind good/right stuff and creating a replay button on it so that it keeps generating those memories/thoughts and transferring them to the heart will have a corresponding effect on the appetite and desire created in the heart and later, the body organs. Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off and away from those thoughts completely, even if it means exhausting and occupying yourself with attention requiring activites all day every day, and while doing it, engage in constant dhikr so that you replace the content set on replay in your mind. Based on what I have read from other threads on this site, this works with success for many people addicted to masturbation and pornography (which are in a more developed stage of the sin than what you are currently at). Related to this, I know a case of a young man who had been severely abused as a child up to his late teens, but eventually managed to break out of that abuse even though he carried over some "homosexual" tendencies and inclinations. In his case, he married someone who was aware of his history, and they managed to have a very successful marriage. They had 3 or 4 kids mashaAllah but he died suddenly from a road accident, may Allah have mercy on his soul. People say that marriage to one with whom one is intellectually compatible goes a long way in developing physical attraction, even if it is not strong at the beginning. Do not feel weighed down by this, or tell yourself that "this is how I am I will have to live with this burden for the rest of my life" rather tell yourself, this is a phase I have slipped into/am currently in but I will get out of : Because I MUST, (therefore) I CAN.
  15. What is meant to be achieved by these prayers, rather, what are you/were you expecting to experience or get out of the prayers which you have not?
  16. This last part I disagree with. Non shia doctrines, correct. But I do not think their doctrines, as far out as they go, take them out of the fold of Islam unless ofcourse you have Ahmadiyyah or Qadiyani books.
  17. Given that he says he has lived most of his life as a devout and practising Muslim, I highly doubt that he does not already have the answers we would be giving him to these doubts. I get a feeling the bigger issue for resolution is whatever led to "rejection" of already established and confirmed truths in his mind, about which he had certainty of at least some degree to a complete turn away from them.
  18. Hmm.. he has mentioned his doubts in the original post I believe. You are right in not seeing a specific question out of the various statements he has made, but I, for one, picked a doubt about the existence of the unseen, doubts about historical accounts of some events, necessity of some religious rites, instructions, recommendations etc.
  19. I don't think it is necessary to discuss the issue that has quite likely triggered this state on a public forum, but I do think you need to get to a point of resolution, closure and peace about that personal issue before you can focus on getting some of these answers you seek. Sometimes a mind under stress, grief, anger, denial etc is unable to see a point becausr it still wants to "punish" itself. You would not want to get into these doubts while having a major "pre existing condition" that can potentially and likely hamper your wisdom, rationality, calm and objectivity. May Allah help you overcome both, the personal circumstance and the current doubts, bihaqqi hadhihil layaalil mubarakah.
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