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In the Name of God بسم الله

laylacat

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  1. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from AStruggler in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
  2. Sad
    laylacat got a reaction from AmirioTheMuzzy in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
  3. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from Flying_Eagle in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
  4. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from habib e najjaar in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
  5. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Perth Shias   
    Assalamu alaikum 
    I'm a revert from Perth, WA just wondering if there's any brothers and sisters on here from WA
  6. Like
    laylacat got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Perth Shias   
    Assalamu alaikum 
    I'm a revert from Perth, WA just wondering if there's any brothers and sisters on here from WA
  7. Like
    laylacat got a reaction from AmirAlmuminin Lover in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. 
    I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. 
    I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here. 
  8. Angry
    laylacat got a reaction from Mohammed-Mehdi in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
  9. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from Waseem162 in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
  10. Like
    laylacat got a reaction from shia farm girl in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. 
    I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. 
    I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here. 
  11. Like
    laylacat reacted to notme in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I'm so happy that you're getting into proper treatment! Your child is fortunate to have a fighter and believer like you for a mother, and I suspect he or she will be a blessing for you too, will give you that extra push to keep your life clean and safe. Being a mother is going to be hard, but definitely worth it. You continue to be in my duas. 
  12. Like
    laylacat reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Your story has broken my heart  
    You need to be compassionate to yourself. Don't think less of yourself just because you've made a mistake. We can never understand the mercy of Allah in this world. The regret, mixed with fear should drive you to come back to Allah with sincerity and full submission.
    Everyone in shiachat is with you. You are a part of our family.
     
  13. Like
    laylacat reacted to AmirAlmuminin Lover in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    It's good that you came back. Be strong and move forward. Make plan for your future and don't blame yourself constantly for the past. Think of your future. Be in contact with Mumin sisters here and in your community. Be active even if it's a small mosque. I think you can be out of this situation and be like a new revert same as you were before.
  14. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from Abu Nur in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. 
    I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. 
    I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here. 
  15. Like
    laylacat got a reaction from notme in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. 
    I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. 
    I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here. 
  16. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. 
    I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. 
    I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here. 
  17. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
  18. Like
    laylacat got a reaction from ireallywannaknow in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. 
    I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. 
    I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here. 
  19. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from Carlzone in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. 
    I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. 
    I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here. 
  20. Like
    laylacat reacted to Gaius I. Caesar in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Allah will always forgive us if we are truly repentant,  you are human and obviously upset with your relapse.  That being said, meth is one hell of a drug. It's going to be an intense uphill battle but you will come out stronger. Insha'Allah, the detox goes successfully and it pains me to read this. I had no idea, if you are feeling scared, we at SC are here for moral and emotional support @laylacat.
  21. Like
    laylacat reacted to AmirAlmuminin Lover in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    I wish OP could come back one more time and start being in contact with one of the sisters here.
  22. Like
    laylacat reacted to notme in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    @laylacat are you still here? Just checking on you. Feel free to PM me or one of the other sisters if you just need some emotional support. 
  23. Like
    laylacat reacted to Ali_Hussain in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    There is always redemption, don't ever forget that or else you will just sink further and further. 
    Allah is always open to accepting the repentance of a penitant sinner. It might take you a little longer to feel that acceptance, but you have to take these things a day at a time. It is always quicker sliding down a hill than trying to climb it.
  24. Like
    laylacat reacted to Abu Nur in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salaam Aleikum,
    I hope the following Imam Ali (as) Dua Sabah that is recited in Morning will inspire you to never lose hope;
    My God, do You see that I have only come to You from the direction of hopes,
    or clung to the ends of Your cords when my sins have driven me from the house of union?
    So what an evil mount upon which my soul has mounted-its caprice!
    Woe upon it for being seduced by its own opinions and wishes!
    Destruction be upon it for its audacity toward its Master and Protector!
    My God, I have knocked upon the door of Your mercy with the hand of my hope,
    fled to You seeking refuge from my excessive caprice,
    and fixed the fingers of my love to the ends of Your cords.
    So pardon, O Allah, the slips and errors I have committed,
    and release me from the foot-tangling of my robe,
    for You are my Master, my Protector, my Support and my Hope,
    and You are the object of my search and my desire in my ultimate end and stable abode.
    My God, how could You drive away a poor beggar who seeks refuge in You from sins, fleeing?
    How could You disappoint one seeking guidance who repairs to Your threshold, running?
    How could You reject a thirsty man who comes to Your pools to drink?
    Never! For Your pools are full in the hardship of drought,
    Your door is open for seeking and penetration,
    and You are the goal of requests and the object of hopes.
    My God, these are the reins of my soul I have bounded with the ties of Your will.
    These are the burdens of my sins I have averted with Your pardon and mercy.
    These are my misleading caprices I have referred to the threshold of Your gentleness and kindliness.
    So, make this morning of mine, O Allah, descend upon me with the radiance of guidance
    and safety in religion and this world!
    And [make] my evening a shield against the deception of enemies
    and a protection against the destructive blows of caprice!
  25. My Prayers
    laylacat got a reaction from Islandsandmirrors in Meth Addiction Has Destroyed My Iman   
    Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. 
    However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. 
    I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. 
    I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! 
    Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils... 
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