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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by laylacat

  1. I’m here sorry. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the support I received here. Just reminded me of why I chose to revert to Islam. I’m sitting here right now crying, with regret at the choices I made that got me here but also with gratefulness. Made the appointment to get this recovery process properly started. They’ll get me into detox ASAP then a 6 month program in rehab. I feel this strength inside of me starting to grow and grow. For the first time in months I feel a desperate urge to pray. Going to try to grab hold of these feelings and not let them disappear or fade away. I’m ready to get well, I’m ready to trust Allah and submit again. I want to be proud to represent Islam again. I didn’t mention in my original post but I recently found out I am pregnant, just entered the 2nd trimester, I wish this child had been conceived under different circumstances but I believe it is a blessing regardless and Allah knows I will FIGHT with every bit of strength I have to give my children the life they deserve... this is not the life I was meant to have. I’m terrified but I think rehab will be one of the best experiences I will have. And with that and with Allah and Islam and my family and my kids I’m gonna recover. I’ll message some of the sisters on here too, I don’t have a strong Muslim community where I am so that’ll be very helpful just to have some extra support on here.
  2. Salam alaikum brothers and sisters... it’s been so long since I’ve logged on here and scrolled through the forums. It saddens me because I remember when I reverted I spent so much time on here connecting with other Muslims, learning and sharing - I was filled with inspiration and excitement and LOVE for Allah. I could not help but cry almost daily because I was so grateful to be guided to Islam, I felt whole and new - the world transformed and tears welled up in my eyes just seeing the sky, the earth, the plants, all the things Allah has created and knowing He had the power to create such a perfect world. However things have gone very very downhill... I am an alcoholic and got sober after reverting. I didn’t crave or consume a drop of alcohol for over a year. I relapsed and one thing led to another and I suddenly found myself in the midst of an even stronger and scarier addiction. Methamphetamine. The relapse with alcohol and my current active addiction to meth has DESTROYED my relationship with Allah. I have turned my back on all my duties and responsibilities as a Muslim, I have committed further sins as a result of being under the influence of meth constantly. I have turned away from Allah and instead have tried to seek comfort from meth/my addiction/other sins. I am DEEPLY ashamed and recently have been trying to remember Allah, trying to ask Him for guidance and for forgiveness and the strength to fight my addiction. I have taken full responsibility for my addiction I think. I do not blame anyone for it, I made the choice to try it the first time and seek it out the second time. I was naive and unaware of how powerful it was and I unfortunately met a dealer who pulled all the tricks (that I was ignorant to) to get me HOOKED on this drug very very quickly. However I know he wouldn’t have even had that chance had I not sought the drug out, had I been stronger in my faith and obeyed Allah’s commandments I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now, this addiction wouldn’t have had a chance to begin. I am getting help, going to go into detox and then look into rehab programs. Will Allah forgive me...? What can I do to rebuild my relationship with Allah and use the strength and love and faith Islam teaches/Allah provides, to aid me in my recovery? I am ashamed yes for committing haram acts. But I also do not want to hide my sins especially addiction because I think it’s important to talk about it and encourage all Muslims struggling with addiction to seek help and turn back to Allah immediately... advice would be appreciated. Any inspirational stories of recovery relating to Islam would also be very very helpful. Can I do this? Will I be able to find Allah again and follow His guidance? I’m scared. I am scared to stop using and scared to keep using. Oh Allah please forgive me and help me find my way back to the straight path! Please make dua for me & for all addicts and ALWAYS trust Allah’s judgement and commandments brothers & sisters because He is never wrong. He knew that using addictive substances can lead to addiction and that’s why he made even using them once or a little bit HARAM. Trust our Creator. He knows how weak human mind/human nature can be. Don’t make my mistakes. Strengthen your bond with Allah so that your Imam is STRONG and not susceptible to such evils...
  3. oh thank you this is brilliant! i can't wait to get started on this for my son. i definitely wanted to include some women because i want my son to see that women play a really powerful role in islam and that they deserve all of our respect. it brings me so much joy sharing all of these things with my child.
  4. oh i totally agree with you! i mean same for weddings. my friends don't understand why i don't feel the need to have a western style wedding. all i want is to go and get married with a few people present to witness the ceremony. that's it. because marriage isn't about a flashy wedding. people get themselves into crazy money troubles because they spend 10,000 bucks on a wedding. why?? what's the difference if you have a massive expensive wedding or a low key ceremony? a wedding doesn't make a marriage.
  5. so salam everyone since reverting i have been exposed to a world of people (the prophet, imams, ahlulbayt in general) that had such amazing qualities and now when people ask me who my role models are i don't even need to hesitate. i'd like to introduce this to my son... i'm going to make up a little book with a characteristic associated with the prophet and each imam and some others that i find truly inspiring like for example abbas. the issue is i'm stuck lol. each page will be like: Be ____ like _____. I have courageous for imam ali. can anyone help for the rest? like i have a bunch of qualities associated with each i just want to put what they were best known for and then my son can learn about them and hopefully one day be inspired to emulate their good qualities. hope im posting this in the right forum i always get so confused. thank you all
  6. i'll take a look! thanks for sharing. honestly wouldn't surprise me if it was true. islam is so reasonable - that's partly what drew me to this religion and to revert. it's so practical and logical.
  7. really??? our sheikh charges like $200 for an islamic marriage. we don't want a 'wedding' - in terms of a western wedding. we just want to go with our witnesses and get married... i'll have to look into this more because it did strike me as odd that he charges for the islamic marriages... because then for people like me and my fiancé it makes it pretty hard to make it permanent and i would've thought he would want to make it as easy as possible because marriage is so important.
  8. i wanted to share some of my posts i have written about karbala and the brutalities committed against imam hussain and his followers. (1) During this month do not just remember and weep for Imam Hussein a.s. Also remember Hussein's baby sons who died screaming from thirst. Remember how Hussein held up his 6 month old son to show Yazid's army what they were doing to an innocent child, begging them to allow the infant water... and instead they shot three spears into the baby's chest. The youngest martyr. Remember Abbas, the flag bearer and children's saviour, struck down and butchered before he could provide the children water. How he would not break his fast and quench his thirst while the children were without water... how even without his arms he would not give in, carrying his mashk in his mouth and crawling toward the children until the army finally killed him. Remember Zainab whose young sons were slaughtered and martyred, and remember her bravery, strength and eloquence later in Kufa, Damascus and in Yazid's court. Remember young Ruqaya, who was held prisoner by Yazid in a dungeon in Damascus... who cradled the head of her murdered father tightly as she passed away from sheer grief and heartache. Remember Qasim son of Hassan who fought for Hussein and for Islam with such bravery and courage for one so young. Remember Imam Hassan - because he predicted this sacrifice as detailed in his letter... only an Imam could have known the tragedy that was to come before it even happened. Remember Imam Ali and Lady Fatima and our Prophet Mohammad who said 'Hussein is from me and I am from Hussein.' and who wept on the day of his grandson's birth for he too knew the tragedy that would one day take place. They watched from above as our Imam was slain and beheaded and rose up to join them in Jannah... and they watched from above as his followers were slaughtered, veils ripped from women's faces, saw the thirst and the blood and the suffering... watched the remaining followers taken prisoner by Yazid and his army. Remember the 72 martyrs of Karbala. And not just during Muharram... but every day because if they hadn't fought so hard and sacrificed so much, Islam would be dead. May peace be forever upon Hussein and the ahlulbayt and peace be upon all who suffered in Karbala❤❤❤ (2) http://www.qul.org.au/islamic-occasions/events-of-karbala/39-karbala-in-pictures found these illustrations depicting the events of karbala - warming some are quite graphic. tried to find better quality images because some are quite pixelated but these were the only ones i could find. really helps me to imagine the pain and suffering the imam and the women and followers of ahlulbayt went through on the plains of karbala and on the battlefield on the day of ashura. i know too many shia who don't even know their own history. i know too many sunnis who think they have the right to ignore this period of sorrow and mourning. we can all learn a lesson from the sacrifices made in the month of muharram. this is islamic history and it is so important to know our history whether you are a follower of ahlulbayt or not. i truly believe everyone - shia, sunni and non-muslims should know the story of karbala. throughout history the brave people who fought against injustice and oppression have even remarked on the strength shown by imam hussain a.s and have taken inspiration from his actions and sacrifices. non-muslims like ghandi and nelson mandela have been quoted remarking on imam hussain a.s and the events of karbala. if such powerful people can draw inspiration and learn from imam hussain a.s then everyone can. i was about to apologise for posting so much about karbala but i'm not even sorry. like i said i believe everyone should learn the story and acknowledge the suffering and pain caused by the utter injustice and unforgiving brutality experienced by the men, women and children during the month of muharram. so if you're reading this maybe you will learn something... we all have to make sacrifices in our lives so when you feel like taking the easy way out remember if imam hussain can sacrifice his life for islam then you can face every hardship big or small with the same strength and vehemence shown by our imam and the followers of ahlulbayt. (3) i recently removed my hijab following some really nasty comments that were hurled at me while i was out shopping. it was in front of my son and i was told to 'go -f***- yourself muslim freak- and then told by this man that he hates all muslim. this was in front of my 2yr old son... so i took off my hijab. and started making excuses - it's to protect me and my child from discrimination and judgement, i don't want my religion on display it's a private thing, i am sick of the assumptions non-muslims and muslim make about me when they see my hijab. all these excuses are, excuse my language, bull[Edited Out]. i can keep telling myself and everyone this but Allah knows i took it off because i wanted to look prettier, i wanted to look like everyone else and get more attention for my looks. i know. moments of weakness. as muharram began i realised that i need to stand up for my beliefs and for islam and wear my hijab with pride. it's almost muharram and if hussain could sacrifice his LIFE for islam i can sacrifice a few moments of discomfort and judgement for a chance to please Allah and go to paradise. when people used to ask me who my role models were i wouldn't know what to say. now i answer without hesitation - fatima a.s, zainab a.s, khadija a.s, maryam mother of isa. what do all these women have in common? thy are strong, they are humble and modest and always stuck to their beliefs even when facing discrimination and prejudice and cruelty and they dealt with more horrific things than i EVER will yet i complain about one rude ignorant comment from some man i will never see again? and what is that teaching my child if after one incident i abandon my beliefs? i want to show him how a muslim should be - i want to teach him that we all go through hardships and we all experience negativity and we can't escape that but everything we do is for Allah and when we feel like we can't get through it or we feel like abandoning our beliefs we need to remember those who fought so hard to keep islam alive FOR US. sacrificing everything FOR US. and as soon as i put my hijab back on i felt this rush of love and appreciation flooding back to me for Allah, for our imams, for everyone who fought against opression, for the men, women and followers of ahlulbayt. i will never again hide my beliefs away just to 'fit in' and be like everyone else. imagine if hussain had done that? we wouldn't be here today believing in what we believe and to show our gratefulness the least we can do is continue keeping islam strong and alive and keep fighting against the misconceptions and ignorance that surrounds our religion particularly that which surrounds the shia.
  9. salam! still haven't found my marja. khameini and sistani have english sites but i would like to know if there are any others so i can make the best decision possible walaikum salam thank you
  10. assalamu alaikum everyone me again with another question!! so i know combining certain prayers is permissible. can someone tell me which prayers? i have classes once a week and we hardly get any break time and my lecturer gets annoyed if we even step out to use the bathroom so i can't imagine he'd be too open to me popping out frequently to do my prayers. i know i know what's more important? but you know... i'm there from 9am and don't get home till 6pm usually. i think it's permissible to combine evening and night prayers? or afternoon and evening? is that correct? what about the ones in the middle of the day? i have read that is not permissible
  11. yeah we ended up just doing it in like five mins when he got home from work haha grabbed a texta and did a makeshift contract. set it for five years. yes we want to make it permanent but it costs too much for us atm and there's only one shia sheikh here who does marriages. i am financially independent so it's not a big deal from that aspect and we combine our money anyway but obviously nikah would be better and inshallah it'll happen very very soon.
  12. salam! me and my fiancé had a mutah contract for a year and it just finished so we need to renew. problem is he is hardly home. he is always working and it'd be easier to just call or text on his break and get it done. i just don't know if this is allowed. also is there a limit to how long you can make your contract? because i'm tempted to just say okay ten years lol and then when we make our marriage permanent that's fine. okay thank you!
  13. I know that's what I keep trying to say. He can't get it through his head. I mean he thinks we think Ali (as) is a prophet lol
  14. Sunni references: 1. Fadha’il al-Sahaba, by Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, v2, p655 2. Hilyatul Awliyaa, by Abu Nu’aym, v4, p329 3. Tarikh, by al-Khateeb al-Baghdadi, v12, p289 4. al-Awsat, by al-Tabarani 5. Majma’ al-Zawa’id, by al-Haythami, v10, pp 21-22 6. al-Darqunti, who said this tradition has been transmitted via numerous authorities. 7. al-Sawa’iq al-Muhriqah, by Ibn Hajar Haythami , Ch. 11, section 1, p247 The Messenger of Allah (S) said: "The Shi’a of ‘Ali are the real victorious in the day of resurrection/rising" Sunni references: • al-Manaqib Ahmad, as mentioned in: • Yanabi al-Mawaddah, by al-Qundoozi al-Hanafi, p62 • Tafsir al-Durr al-Manthoor, by al-Hafidh Jalaluddin al-Suyuti, who quotes the tradition as follows: "We were with the Holy Prophet when ‘Ali came towards us. The Holy Prophet said: He and his Shi’a will aquire salvation on the day of judgment." The Messenger of Allah said: "O ‘Ali! On the Day of Judgment I shall resort to Allah and you will resort to me and your children will resort to you and the Shi’a will resort to them. Then you will see where they carry us. (i.e. to Paradise)" Sunni reference: Rabi al-Abrar, by al-Zamakhshari Furthermore, it is narrated that: The Messenger of Allah said: "O ‘Ali! (On the day of Judgment) you and your Shi’a will come toward Allah well-pleased and well-pleasing, and there will come to Him your enemies angry and stiff-necked (i.e., their head forced up). Sunni references: • al-Tabarani, on the authority of Imam ‘Ali • al-Sawa’iq al-Muhriqah, by Ibn Hajar al-Haythami, Ch. 11, section 1, p236 أبي رحمه الله قال حدثني عبد الله بن جعفر عن أحمد بن محمد عن ابن أبي نجران قال سمعت أبا الحسن ع يقول من عادى شيعتنا فقد عادانا و من والاهم فقد والانا لأنهم منا خلقوا من طينتنا من أحبهم فهو منا و من أبغضهم فليس منا شيعتنا ينظرون بنور الله و يتقلبون في رحمة الله و يفوزون بكرامة الله ما من أحد من شيعتنا يمرض إلا مرضنا لمرضه و لا اغتم إلا اغتممنا لغمه و لا يفرح إلا فرحنا لفرحه و لا يغيب عنا أحد من شيعتنا أين كان في شرق الأرض أو غربها و من ترك من شيعتنا دينا فهو علينا و من ترك منهم مالا فهو لورثته From Ibn Abī Najrān said, I heard Abā al-Hasan (عليه السلام) and he said: “Whoever hates our shī`ahs, has certainly hated us, and whoever follows them, has certainly followed us, because they are from us, and they are created from our clay. Whoever loves them has loved us, and whoever hates them is not from us. Our Shī`ahs see through the nūr (light) of Allāh, and they turn (move) in the mercy of Allāh, and triumph in the honor of Allāh. No one from our shī`ahs becomes ill except that we become ill due to his illness, they do not become sad, except that we are sad for his sadness. And they are not happy except that we are happy for his happiness, and nothing is concealed from us that is (concealed) from one of our shī`ahs, whether it is in the east or the west of the earth. And the debt that is left from our shī`ahs is our debt, and whoever leaves it from them the fortune is left to his heir." Source: 1. Al-Sadūq, Sifāt al-Shī`ah (Tehran: Daar al-`Alami, n.d.), pg. 3, hadeeth # 5 More info: https://www.al-islam.org/shiite-encyclopedia-ahlul-bayt-dilp-team/term-shia-quran-and-hadith Thank you!!! Very helpful!
  15. Salam! I have a Sunni asking me this. I'm trying to explain that of course he was since he led the 'Shia' and the whole reason for the split between Muslims because who we now call Shias believed he was the rightful leader and who we now call Sunnis denied this. But he want like concrete evidence that Imam Ali was Shia. Its doing my head it. If anyone has anything I could share with him that would help a lot
  16. I myself am not giving the green light for homosexuality. I see them as two seperate issues. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation and I think it's also a mental illness, I wish we could do more research on it but unfortunately in the west anyone who holds this opinion and seeks to provide evidence for it is automatically labelled homophobic and shut down which is just... stupid. Meant to have free speech in the west... but okay. I don't think a man can be 'born a woman' and vice versa but I think mentally they can feel that way and that's when they seek to live as the opposite gender but I also have watched many transgendered people who all agree they aren't and will never be the opposite sex obviously but they're more comfortable living as the opposite sex. I don't know. This is just a confusing topic to me, maybe it's not to most people but to me it doesn't seem as clear cut as yes or no. Oh oh and I can't watch the video... I only speak English. Sorry!
  17. Yes I do believe you shouldn't 'give in' to mental illness. I have mental illnesses however they were treated with therapy and medication. That was the treatment. I'm not saying transgenderism is okay because I'm still confused! But! If you're saying we shouldn't 'give in' to mental illness then by that do you mean we shouldn't try to cure or manage it? Like I'm talking about the 'cure'. I don't think any child should go through hormone treatment, children shouldnt be able to make those kinds of decisions for themselves... in many cases hormone therapy can result in infertility and as a child that's something you can't comprehend and definitely should wait to be an adult to make decision like that. But there are so many who also are happy once they go though hormone therapy ect so I mean there are always two sides to everything. I get your point though and I agree with a lot of it.
  18. If a man gets medically diagnosed with like... gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder for which the treatment is hormone therapy would this be permissible? So it's kind of like a medical condition that needs to be treated? It is classed as a mental illness. There have been studies that show that a trans woman's brain is more similar to a biological woman's brain than to a biological man's brain and vice versa. Allah doesn't make mistakes. I know this. Are there Quran verses talking about transgenderism? I can't really find any. It's pretty clear that living a gay lifestyle is haram and it's clear on most haram things. Cross dressing (like a man dressing as a woman) is different from transgenderism. Like transgenderism is a mental illness with studies showing it could also be physiological as well so it's not just a man waking up deciding he wants to be called Jessica. Like I said I am working hard to change some of my beliefs but it's easier to do that if there is substantial evidence to prove it is not permissible.
  19. Assalamu alaikum. Something that's been playing on my mind for a while is the permissibility of becoming transgender in Islam. I know the stance on homosexuality but transgenderism is obviously a lot different. I'm sure this has been discussed a lot on this site but yeah just a few things I'm wondering. Is it permissible? As in the actual hormone therapy and operations to become the opposite gender. And if it is and let's say a man is now a 'woman' what if she wants to marry a man? Is it considered homosexual and therefore not allowed? Is it seen as a mental illness or a birth defect or something similar that should be treated either through therapy or medically? Is it seen as a test of faith? Or a 'perversion' of sorts that someone develops later? I read someone said it's absolutely haram because you can't change Allah's creation and even if it's a medical condition an operation wouldn't be necessary because if someone came in saying they felt like their arm wasn't part of their body no doctor would just chop it off. But actually there is a condition that exists where someone feels like a certain part of them like a limb or whatever isn't part of their body and in extreme cases they are able to get it removed. So if it's a test of faith is the test to live a life suppressing the desire to change gender or is the test having to go through so much with transitioning and society's reactions and all of that? Lots of things going through my mind. Becoming a revert has been hard in some aspects because I've had to alter a lot of my beliefs (for example I was raised to believe homosexuality was fine and gays should be able to get married and live their lifestyle etc) and so I just want to get all my answers straight and all the info I need so it's easier for me to understand why things I previously accepted are now not acceptable.
  20. Salam everyone, I haven't found answers to a question I have regarding fasting during Ramadan. I've also been quite afraid to ask as I don't want people to think I'm trying to get out of it. Hoping in posting this in the right category. Anyway so it's my first proper Ramadan this year and I'm excited the only problem is that I've battled a severe eating disorder for over 7 years now and I'm currently getting serious about recovery. My eating disorder is restricting and so I'm worried that if I then have a whole month where I'm meant to not eat during the day it'll set back my recovery as I'm now learning how to eat again and NOT fast or starve myself like I've been doing for so long. I struggle so much with not eating and not feeling hungry and I don't want to sound bad but fasting would be easy for me so it's not that I'm worried about that I'm just worried that now that I'm finally trying to recover and eat and get healthy that fasting will trigger my eating disorder all over again and hinder my recovery. Are there any rulings on this like is it a valid reason to not participate in fasting or is this kind of thing not taken seriously? I'm really really worried about it. Thank you all!
  21. Ah! I see that makes a lot of sense. It is not referring specifically to Shia Islam then?
  22. Salam! Quran verse 6:159. My phone won't let me copy and paste the Arabic but - I have someone trying to tell me that this Quran verse specifically mentions Shias as the sect. Every English translation doesn't say this. Does it specifically mention Shiism in this verse?? I don't think it does.
  23. Sorry I don't understand this simplistic statement. My family's celebrations are not christian, they celebrate christmas as a time to be together as a family, and chose christmas to celebrate this coming together as it is culturally convenient. So is joining in their non-christian take on christmas not allowed? is it promoting christianity?
  24. Salam! My family celebrates christmas. They are atheist and see it as a time to come together and just share a meal, gifts and good conversation as a family. I am a revert and believe it's important that I still respect their beliefs and show tolerance by partaking in their traditions. Note that as atheists they do not celebrate any of the religious things associated with Christmas. Is it okay for me to do this? And for my fiance who was raised Muslim to join in our celebrations? The other thing I want to ask is... I know Prophet Isa was not actually born on Dec 25th but as that is the day most people in my country recognise as his birthday, is it really so bad to celebrate the birth of him on this day? Not as the son of God because we all know that's untrue but just as one of our great prophets? I was told by a Sunni Muslim that even celebrating birthdays is not allowed, but I dont think that is true for me as a Shia because we 'celebrate' the birth of our Imams. Does anyone have any hadiths proving this is allowed? Or at least saying it is not forbidden as this woman liked to claim? Obviously she wouldn't listen to me because she follows a different sector, but I'd just like to know for myself so that I am aware if I am totally wrong in this circumstance or not. She pulled out the stuff about not imitating non-believers but as I said before I think as a revert its important to still respect my family and their traditions and to also show respect to our Christian friends not by going to church with them or anything like that lol but simply wishing them merry christmas (which she also claimed is haram)
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