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In the Name of God بسم الله

Mahdiyya

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    Shia Muslim

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  1. One more question.. if it's a Talaq rujuii, can she ask to get her Mahr and her presents back, since the man usually has no right to take this things from her in this kind of talaq ??? Or can she ask to make it a talaq mubarrat or khul' since the husband wants the mahr and the presents?? I hope my questions aren't confusing. It just seems that they are taking her Haqq and still want to make sure that the husband can take her back during iddah.
  2. Bismillah, Few weeks ago I mentioned one of my friend's problems with her husband. To make it short: He asked her to give him her mahr and all the presents he made her, then she could go and get her Divorce. Usually this would be a Khul' divorce, right? He just took a Sayyed as a Wakil to make the divorce but this Sayyed intends to make it a revocable divorce, even though she gave him the mahr and the presents to make sure he could take her back. Is this even right?? If it's a rajai divorce, why should she give him the mahr and the presents and why should he be able to take her back when she was clearly NOT okay with living with him anymore ?? She knows that she doesn't want to live with him anymore and he even gave her the right for Khula. Now that the Sayyed said "let's make it a Talaq Rujui" he agreed, knowing that he could take her back then without her okay. My question is... is this even correct?? Shouldn't they at least do a Mubarrat Divorce, since she gave him the mahr and the presents back and since she really doesn't want him to take her back? Thanks and Salam.
  3. Yes, but trusting isn't easy if your husband gives you no reasons to trust him, but many many reasons to mistrust him.. She wasn't nagging . He ignored her for no reason, causing more and more doubt. And no one said that she's a saint and he an embodiment of evil. I'm just telling you what's happening. And you can believe that her version is the truth. She is just trying to get help and advice. It won't help her to tell us things that aren't true - that would lead to wrong advices.
  4. Yes they are muslims. But her father is not strictly religious.. No she has an older sister. But her sister isn't married yet and has a totally different lifestyle.
  5. She thanks you all for your answers. Right now she is really confused about what is right or wrong. She's currently living at home with her parents in a tiny village where he has no perspectives (no work). She got a request for a great job in the city her husband lives. But this problems with her husband make her parents say "if you get a divorce you have to stay with us and we won't allow you to move in that city. Or you stay with him and can go." And as I said before, the husband CAN'T support her financially at all. She would stay with him but pay everything for her own, while not even being sure if he'll treat her right after he hurt her so many times. She is just totally frustrated. She could have a great work and professional perspectives but would HAVE to stay with him. Or she would divorce someone who did her wrong so many times, but would stay with her parents in a small village where she can't even find a good job. Maybe some of you'd say: Leave him and move to that city all alone and find your own happiness and peace. .. but her parents don't want her to do so. Saying that a divorced young women shouldn't live all alone in a big city. .. I feel so sorry for her.
  6. As much as I know he doesn't have much to offer financially. He lives with his father and brothers. Their mother left them few years ago. The sister herself would be able to find a good job in the city he lives and even pay for herself. But the question is: is HE or this relationship worth it? She already invested so much in him and all she got was heartbreak after heartbreak..
  7. They aren't living together cause he isn't financially stable. And because some other reasons she once told me. Of course a long distance relationship CAN be a recipe for disaster but it doesn't have to be. Some people had an engagement phase for about 2 year with no problems. I believe that it depends on the individual if it works or not.
  8. Yes, she's 25 y/o. Right now she doesn't even think of getting re-married or not. She just wants this nightmare to end, without the fear of getting punished by Allah swt for leaving.. But I'm sure that she'd marry again after she is divorced. Maybe not asap, but she will. She's a really beautiful and intelligent young lady, who just fell in love with the wrong guy. I really pray and hope that happiness will find her soon inshaAllah.. :/
  9. The sister asking this question said thank you for your answers. Deep within her heart she knows that leaving him would be the best, but she says she is afraid of what comes after the divorce. Ya3ne the possible mischief that comes with it. As I know her, she's a really religious girl who's afraid to do anything that's against the will of Allah swt.
  10. Salam 3aleykum, a sister sent me this, asking for your advices: First of all sorry I'm not a natice English speaker and this will be a little longer: I have a personal issue with my husband. We are engaged since 4 months now (made a Nikkah), but I still live at home with my parents. Me and him know each other for 1,5 years and already went through a lot. He made a lot of mistakes like lying to me, chatting with other girls, never calling me back or ignoring me for days. We were fighting a lot. He lives about 6 hours away from me. in April he told me that he doesn't want me anymore. Telling me that it's my fault for not trusting him.. just to come back 1 week later and asking me for forgiveness. I forgave him everything, even when it really hurt me. I wasnt the one who did anything wrong. Yet he left. But came back.. Not much later he started to ignore my text messages again, didn't call me or showed no interests. This time I ended it all. It was June. I was so sad and broken hearted that I didn't let him take any more advantage of me. He was totally broke, I paid a lot for him, comforted him and made sure to motivate him in life - and all I received was ignorance. Again after a week, he regretted everything. He told my mother to talk to me, sent his brother and mother.. everyone asking me for another chance. Telling me he would change and never hurt me again. He said I should trust him for my love of Allah ta'ala and that Allah is the one knowing his intentions were real. I was really hurt by out of blind love I trusted him again, but promising myself that this would be the last chance, since he really did me wrong. I told him that he should take the chance and make it work this time and to treat me the way I deserve. He really tried hard this time and we both got engaged in September. But after that, everything went down again. Starting with ignoring my messages, never calling, not taking me seriously. I tried to talk to him very calmly first but he didn't took me serious. After that we only had fight after fight. He always told me that I would overreact, but I really didn't. He just started with his same old behaviors again. In November he did something that really broke me in pieces. He said that he wants to divorce me. Telling me we're way too different. He was annoyed by my way of thinking. He doesn't want a wife who asks him what he does or where he is at. He doesn't like it when I told him that certain things he does were haraam. He said things like "you want to go to Ziyarah every year but I don't". I was so shocked. I knew he wasn't super religious but maybe that was MY mistake to fall in love with him since I take my religion really serious. For nearly 2 months he said that he wanted to divorce me. Causing me so much pain. I lost 4 kg of weight and wasn't able to sleep for weeks. He made a mess out off me just like he did 2 times before. At the end of December, after many many attempts of solving this problem I asked him if a divorce would be this last word. I asked him I'd he' 100% sure. He said yes. And something deep inside me changed. I knew I tried EVERYTHING to solve this problem, but at this point it was like something told me to recognize my own worth and to stop caring. I suddenly saw all the bad things about him I covered the past moments. As if love made me blind and he opened my eyes with breaking me into pieces. I closed the doors behind him, being sure he'd leave for good. Allowing myself to find peace again. I realized how weak I was when I was with him. Before I met him I even prayed salat al-layl on a regular basis, but with him I even had problems with my 5 daily prayers. As if he took away all my spirituality for months. Even my Hijab got worse when I was with him. After closing the doors behind him, I found a really deep connection back with Allah ta'ala. And somehow found myself again. I felt so calm and happy.. alhamdulillah. But after a week.. he came back again. Again regretting it all. Again telling me that he's sorry and that he doesn't want to lose me. But this time I really CAN'T trust him anymore. My soul just doesn't want to. I just wish he'd leave like he said.. but he doesn't. Now he's telling me that he wants a last chance to make it all right and that if I can't trust him anymore, I have to get a divorce on myself and that he doesn't want to. I really don't know what to do. I don't trust him and I know that he's not good for me and my relationship to Allah ta'ala. He caused me so much pain and did the same mistakes over and over again. But I am too afraid of leaving him because I fear the effects of a divorce.. Is it wrong to say that I can't trust him anymore and is it right to leave someone who broke my heart so many times and made me suffer? I really don't think that I'll ever be happy with him on my side.. and I want to come closer to Allah ta'ala. That's so hard with a man who doesn't take his religion or marriage seriously. Will Allah ta'ala punish me for not giving him another chance? Or Should I stay with him only out of fear of Allah ta'ala even when it makes me sad? Please advice me..
  11. Salam, That are two Fatwas I found on this case. ٢٣٩٨ اگر با زنى كه در عده طلاق رجعى است زنا كند آن زن بر او حرام مى‏شود و اگر با زنى كه در عده متعه، يا طلاق بائن، يا عده وفات است زنا كند، بعدا مى‏تواند او را عقد نمايد، اگر چه احتياط مستحب آن است كه با او ازدواج نكند و معناى طلاق رجعى و طلاق بائن و عده متعه و عده وفات در احكام طلاق گفته خواهد شد.٢٣٩٩ اگر با زن بى‏شوهرى كه در عده نيست زنا كند، بعدا مى‏تواند آن زن را براى خود عقد نمايد، ولى احتياط مستحب آن است كه صبر كند تا آن زن حيض ببيند بعد او را عقد نمايد، بلكه احتياط مزبور حتى الامكان نبايد ترك شود، و همچنين است اگر ديگرى بخواهد آن زن را عقد كند. Hope you understand farsi. You can see the Fatwas on this site: http://farsi.khamenei.ir/treatise-imam-content?id=532&tid=99 Wassalam
  12. Salam, uhm.. I read a fatwa in farsi which said that if a man marries a woman during her iddah, she becomes forever haram to him, even if they had no sexual contact. but yes, if the marriage was batil, then they needed to have sexual contact to be haram for each other after it. (in case of Zina) That's why I'm asking if their marriage was batil or not. If it was batil, they can marry in future but if the marriage was sahih, they would be haram for each other according to the fatwa I read. It's a little confusing.. hope you understand what I mean, Just wanted to know if a) Their marriage was batil, because of the Mahr; and b) if they are now haram for each other because of their intention of marrying during her iddah
  13. Bismillah, Assalamu 'aleykum, A friend of mine has a really complicated problem! I couldn't find an answer for her so I need your help inshallah. My friend didn't knew that she was still in her Iddah (Khul3 divorce) when she made a mut3a with another man. After the mut3a (it was only for 1 week and they had no sexual contact), they noticed that their mut3a was actually batil, cause their Mahr was just 100 Surat al-Fatiha, but according to her Marja Sayyid Ali Khamenei, a Mahr like this isn't allowed. And this makes their marriage batil. (Correct me if I'm wrong) The question now is: Was their mut3a really batil? And if yes, does it count as zina? If not, are they forever haram to each other? Or can they marry after her Iddah is over, cause their Mut3a wasn't really an actual marriage? Hope my question is clear. looking forward to your answers, Thanks and salaam.
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