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In the Name of God بسم الله

QiiQii

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About QiiQii

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    Level 1 Member

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  • Religion
    Shia Ithna-Ashari Islam

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    Female

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  1. I can understand where you are coming from sister. I stopped wearing the hijab because all these ways it is used to subjugate women bothered me as well and to tell you the truth, I wouldn't ever have worn it again after that. However, now that I have, I don't want to take it off as I consider it a part of my identity. You should know that no one has the right to make you feel like you are a sexual object for men just because you choose to wear the hijab. It is not the fault of the hijab, the fault lies with the people who are making you feel that way. I'm sure if looked for a better hijab-wearing crowd, you'd be able to find it. You shouldn't let such people dictate your religiosity for you. They are not your guides, the Imams are. You are not supposed to be pleasing them, but pleasing Allah SWT. If they are attacking you, you need to defend yourself and your hijab from them. No society is perfect and so it is with Muslim societies all over the world. They are not perfect like the religion they claim to follow. If you found perfection and beauty in Islam, I'm sure you can find societies or people that are trying harder to align more closely with the religion. These people can be your support group as you go on your journey of embracing Islam so I would advise you to find the. Also remember, that if you take one step towards Allah SWT, He SWT will take a thousand steps towards you. So count on him and give it another try, Peace and blessings to you.
  2. I'm glad to hear that you were able to reach out to your grandmother for help and support. Make this a habit, anytime you fear violence find someone you can reach out to who can help you stay physically safe from the abuse. But from your post, it seems like it is a temporary situation so start figuring out from now on what your next safety stop is going to be whether again with your grandmother or with another trustworthy relative, you need to start planning for your safety. Ask your grandmother if it would be OK for you to come again if there is a recurrence of abuse from your dad. Can I ask you how old you are and where you live? There might be resources available to you depending on where you live and you might want to tap into those to help cope with your circumstances. You can send me a PM if you don't feel comfortable enough disclosing them in the thread. You also seem to be taking rational steps to try and deal with the abuse, your appeal to people for prayers shows that. I know that you are experiencing an extremely threatening situation and that can sometimes lead people into making some desperate decisions that prove regretful later on. I hope and pray that you are to avoid those. Give yourself credit for having the courage to speak out about the abuse, even if it is here on SC. Don't be afraid to speak out against your father or anyone else you tries to threaten you in that way because no one has a right to do that to you. Also, don't worry about your grades if the abuse is impacting your ability to do well in school. Try your best but also acknowledge that you are going through abnormal circumstances in your life. I would also recommend trying to identify triggers in your father's behavior. Are there any warning signs before an abusive episode? Do his actions fit a pattern of some sort? Think about it and see what you come up with. Knowledge of this sort can save your life at some point by helping you avoid any situations that might trigger him. Also, can you confide in your mother? What role does she play during the abuse? Does she get involved or does she simply let it happen? Have you noticed any fear in her when your father abuses you? She likely needs someone to speak with as well and so do your siblings. Think about what you can do to help them whilst keeping yourself safe from getting abused any further. Know that all of us here will be praying for you so don't give up and keep fighting to keep yourself safe.
  3. One thing about topics relating to preparing for the arrival of the Imam is that they either end up in everyone playing the blame game or giving everyone the notion that there is some special life-altering preparation that we must engage in, in order to prepare for his arrival. I don't agree with either, I think each shia, wherever in the world he/she is, whatever his/her political/religious leanings, whatever his/her ethnic/cultural background needs to do, is live their life with the best spiritual insight into his/her own affairs. And I don't mean the complete some unattainable spiritual outlook that can't be acquired except by living as a heretic but whatever station one has attained in the path whilst continuing to improve. That seems a more practical approach to me. Feel free to disagree and correct me if I'm wrong.
  4. QiiQii

    Insomnia Club

    I've been struggling with insomnia for a few years now but I think my symptoms have more to do with my PTSD and trauma history than anything else. Some nights are better than others but when I do wake up, it is usually because of a mid-sleep panic attack which keeps me awake for a few hours at least after I have gotten up until my mind decides it is OK to let the melatonin flow again. I have also tried several methods to try and relax: milk, vitamin B complex pills, drinking tea, listening to meditative music, latmiyyas, scrolling my FB feed but it is difficult to force my mind to let go once I've been jolted awake. Vitamin C is effective sometimes too so a glass of orange juice can sometimes induce the sleep that I know my heart desperately needs as it gets rid of any floating cortisol in the system. At others times, I need several warm showers to calm myself down. Recently though, I've had my psychiatrist suggest I do a thyroid test to see if it's acting up. I have been sleeping much better than usual and am trying to cope with my symptoms without taking any anxiety meds [ I'd rather rough it out than take those meds ]. All these symptoms have given me an insight into how my brain is working and I've also discovered that my body has a faster reaction time when comes to anxiety than my brain which doesn't recognize anxiety-inducing situations until some time has passed. It makes it a little difficult to figure out what is causing my insomnia at the time and I'm just left to deal with the symptoms as I am going through them. I started tracking my sleep pattern but I haven't committed to it because once I get a good night's sleep I'd rather forget about my sleep issues and I'd rather not re-visit it until I've had another episode. One thing that I have been thinking about is the possibility of my insomnia developing into a chronic sleep disorder if I don't control my symptoms. I'm not aware of any studies that show a link though so I can't say for sure if my worries are legitimate. I'm also trying to understand the connection between my monthly cycle and patterns of insomnia that I experience and see if they are interrelated somehow. Lately, I've been using a technique I've learned in meditation classes that helps me loosen up once I've had an episode. It helps but isn't effective on its its own in inducing sleep, I almost always have to combine it with other measures to get back to sleep but at the time, my feeling is that anything helps as long as it gets me through it somehow.
  5. QiiQii

    Last Meal

    Personally, I don't want to have eaten anything before my death. I hope I am on an empty stomach at that time.
  6. I am waiting for the day they will have make-up which is wudhu-compatible.
  7. There is a difference between clothes that are tight and clothes that fit you in a way that reveals the shape of your body. Personally, I do wear fitted clothes from time to time because I like to look good and sometimes I have wardrobe malfunctions or gain in weight that leaves me wearing clothes that fit tightly over my body. Tight clothes are uncomfortable to wear even for those that like to flaunt their shapes. Sometimes I think people don't have a sense of what is considered appropriate dress or what they should be wearing in order to look good/beautiful/pretty. Sometimes I think people are unable to comprehend the fact that while some clothes look good to the eye they don't necessarily have to look good on their body. I, sometimes fail at that part too. I also think that people undervalue the impact that one's choice of clothing has on people that you interact with a person and how that informs their notions of that person. I think clothing is a means for us to respect our body and give it a certain dignity as it belongs to you. This is also what hijab teaches us and is a form of Muslim best practices in my opinion.
  8. Wa Alaikum As Salam, Ziyarat e Waritha is usually considered the shorter version of ziyarat e Ashura but it is still recommended to offer a two rakaat prayer afterwards for the Imam. Also, there are different ways people recite the Salam and the curses on the enemies mentioned in ziyarat e Ashura. You can choose to recite them once with the intention that it is delivered 100 times or you can recite them 10 times with the same intention if you think that you would not be able to recite them 100 times. Some people also prefer to offer the prayers before they recite the ziyarah and some offer it afterwards, it depends. I think ziyarat e Ale yaseen isn't mentioned as a recommended ziyarah after ziyarat e Ashura but I could be wrong on that. Ziyarat e Ale Yasin isn't that long in my opinion and can be recited under 5 minutes if you don't read the continuing dua afterwards. Also, you have the option of listening to them as well and then performing the recommended acts afterwards when you have more time. Wa Salam,
  9. I would suggest doing Astaghfar for what you've done and be careful not to do it again.
  10. Yea, I've done that too. I'm trying to become better at it though.
  11. Magic is real. Shias do believe that magic exists and we are forbidden from engaging in it. We do not believe that the Prophet PBUH was under the influence of magic because Allah SWT created him pure as is evident from the Ayah al-Tathir. The following is a link of how the practice of magic started amongst people. It was sent down by two angels named Harut and Marut at the time of Prophet Solomon ASWS who are mentioned in the Quran. https://www.al-islam.org/hayat-al-qulub-vol-1-allamah-muhammad-baqir-al-majlisi/account-harut-and-marut
  12. I thought Yahya was John the Baptist in Christianity. I could be worng...
  13. Allah SWT has been extremely benevolent towards me. He has always taken care of every single need that I have had. He has clothed me, protected me, nourished me, guided me, consoled me, raised me up alive and looked after my well-being. I attribute my continued existence to His mercy. He has taught me life and shown me clear signs of His magnificence, about endless possibilities in obedience to Him. He has taught me right from wrong, watched over me when I needed looking after and fulfilled all His promises to me. I'm comforted to know that He will be whom I will return to on the day of judgement. Jazak Allah Khair for starting this post!
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