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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Posts posted by Islandsandmirrors

  1. 21 minutes ago, LeftCoastMom said:

    @Gaius I. Caesar @notme@Hameedeh@Islandsandmirrors

    So we  go for a family picnic in the park. Grandparents, SG, DD, my sons, and grandson.  There were a lot of other families there, too. Our little fellow starts playing with his ball a short ways away and pretty soon is joined by a little girl who toddles over. She is joined by another little girl, then another. One of my sons jokes " hmmmmm...maybe a future wife in one of these little cuties?" 

    SG looks up and says like he is just talking about  cookies " One, two, three......okay, son, one more and THAT'S IT!"

    Then he ducks because my daughter threw the paper plates at his head. :D


    That's just too funny! :hahaha:

    I remember a teacher of mine said something to his son (who was seven or eight at the time) along the lines of "be nice to your sister because she will have friends that you're going to want to date" Still cracks me up. 

    Hope you enjoyed the picnic! :D Picnics are always fun. 


  2. 9 minutes ago, Ali~J said:

     So: tell me what to say and I'll say it some time tomorrow probably... 

    3 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

    Well, I did ask people in the voice recording to share what their favorite show/movie on Netflix was. 

    9 minutes ago, Ali~J said:

    Ummm, Pakistani or British Pakistani lol. 

    Lol why do so many people think I'm Pakistani? (My ethnicity is Persian, although I consider myself American (where I was born and raised) as I don't really relate to Persian culture.)

  3. 1 minute ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

    Well, it sounds to me like she's infected with Karenitis Entitled-woman-maniasus and it sounds quite terminal. I'd walk away in case it's contagious. 

    I agree, but unfortunately she’s super clingy and not in the best of health at the moment, so I feel bad distancing myself from her. 

  4. 2 minutes ago, arch1027116 said:

    What kind of forums would you meet a Shia spouse who has a similar background? That seems a random effort.

    You can find someone this forum, maybe. 

    Otherwise, you'd be better off sticking to forums which pique your interest. What interests you? Any hobbies? If you are a man, I'd suggest you try and be open with the possibility of meeting a non-Muslim, because who knows? She may convert out of learning about Islam through you. 


  5. 1 hour ago, Ali~J said:

    I would post, but unfortunately my voice never broke (and it probably never will lol. Even my younger brother who's 4 years younger than me has a deeper voice) and it's unlikely anyone would be able to understand my accent anyway. :hahaha:

    No one is judging you. Besides, countertenors are cool. 

    1 hour ago, Ali~J said:

    h and @Islandsandmirrors you've got the accent I never imagined you to have lol. 

    Lol what accent did you think I would have? 

  6. So the plot has thickened. 

    (Note: I'll be posting gifs. It's meant to be silly.)

    My husband's female coworker (the same one I'd talked about in a previous thread.) texted me really upset and said she wanted to meet up with me for dinner. 



    I asked her to elaborate on what was going on (her psychiatrist fired her recently) but she said she wanted to meet up in person.

    So we met up, and she started talking about about life, and her psychiatrist and etc. Then she said that she wanted to work on her marriage, and I said, "Hey, that's great. It's great that you want to work on it."


    But then she said that she still had feelings for the other coworker guy (the married man in the process of divorce whom she had a one night stand with). 


    So then she goes on to explain how they still talk and flirt and he asked if she was still in her marriage through text. 


    What I want her to say (when he approaches her):




    What she actually says:







    Although she acknowledges that he flirts and tries to get with any girl he can, she says that this is him supposedly "mellowed a bit" a 40. And that she still likes him because of how he makes her feel.



    I asked, "Why do you want to be with someone who sleeps around like that? Someone who can't commit?" 

    She said, "I get it. It's a coping mechanism. He's feels really lonely." 


    Apparently it's not enough that he tried to get with THREE other coworkers at one point.


    Nor that he got another woman accidentally pregnant. 


    But apparently he blabbed his mouth and said that he has three estates that will be passed down to him (he said this to that woman he got pregnant)


    And the woman he got pregnant said she would get an abortion (she lied, of course.) 



    So now she is still currently married and is into that player. 


    All the while I'm hearing this I want to tell her:


    She has misplaced empathy on a guy who clearly doesn't care (nor respect) her whatsoever. 


    Part 3 (soon)


  7. 17 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

    how did you think youd meet your spouse vs how you actually met them? 

    I thought I was going to meet my spouse in university. That’s always how I envisioned it because, to me, that’s the most common way most people meet. But like others have said, it happens when it happens.

    You know that it’s different with them somehow, and yet, there is no major sign in the beginning like, “I’m going to marry this person”. You might think that once you get to know each other, but if there’s none of the “the chorus sang and the clouds parted, and that’s when I knew” moment or upon meeting each other. 

    I don’t think either of us thought that from that PM, we’d now be married, because neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time nor did I ever think online relationships would ever work. However, I do know that there was some fate involved because he was the only Muslim on that site.  (But he’s not of my ethnicity)

    I do believe that you will find your spouse when you’ll least expect it. When you’re not really looking.

    EDIT: never also thought I’d get married after a week-long official (with the ring) engagement. 

  8. 3 hours ago, Guest arch7116 said:

    wow so many if you met your spouse online, more surprising on some forum. How does that work? I’ve been trying to find a partner on these matrimonial sites/apps and its such a struggle. Nobody responses and take things further. I am just so frustrated at this point that I feel like giving up. 

    Any tips or advice on what I might be doing wrong.

    Don't give up, man. There's someone out there for everyone.

    I have no idea what matrimonial sites are like, but I can imagine how frustrated you must feel with the experience of having someone ghost on you or catfishing/wasting your time. I'm sure that there are tons of non-compatible people that you'd have to weed through to get to someone of substance. But, within any modern dating/finding someone, that's just the way it goes. In real life, you'd likely be going through a similar process of disappointment, but that shouldn't stop you from finding "your person". 

    I'm not an expert by any means, but I may be able to offer some advice. I hope you'll find these useful:

    1. Join a forum

    In my opinion, forums are better (if you're interested in meeting someone online) than matrimonial sites because you'll be actively choosing to get to know someone based on post history, and forum interactions, which, in my opinion, can be useful for determining if someone is right for you. Allow conversation to happen organically, because that way, interest in each other will develop with time instead of pressuring others for commitment that they might not be sure yet. 

    2. Develop genuine connection

    It's fine if a girl is a little shy in the beginning, but if excuses become her go-to for talking on the phone, Skyping, meeting up in person, take that as a red flag to move on. Don't try to force connection or actively try and reach for a deadline in which you think that things have to reach that next step. Take the pressure off yourself (and her) and learn to fully enjoy conversation without any expectations in the beginning. That might allow a woman to feel comfortable to open up to you, at her own pace. Try to not move too fast unless you are 100% certain that she's okay with it and on the same page as you are. 


    Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. Maybe it'd be better if you elaborated on what's been happening so I can give you specific advice (further advice would depend on context.)

  9. 22 minutes ago, shadow_of_light said:

    I and my husband used to have discussions in another forum. Once, he sent me a message and said "I want to tell you something but I am afraid that I look stupid" (it was the first time that he was proposing to a girl and he said these words in English not in my mother language). Then he said "I think we can lead a life together". 


    Are you both Middle Eastern? 

  10. 22 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

    Are there any Shia teachings you know of that prove jinn possession? Or is it more of a cultural thing?

    Not that I can think of, but I’m sure there are sources out there that prove jinn possession. But today, I think it’s become more of a cultural thing, especially when blaming everything on jinn possession.

  11. Just a thread for fun. 

    I met my husband on Personalitycafe, which is a forum for MBTI types. I had posted a thread about having a bad day and he PM’d me, asking if I felt better and how I was doing generally. 

    So the rest, as you all know, is history. :) 

    How did you meet your spouse/spouse-to-be?

  12. 7 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

    And if it don’t?

    Then she will not be known as a person who does adultery, does the ayah still apply to her then?

    Yes, because a person who sleeps around is still sleeping around. This isn’t a “you’re only sorry if you get caught” situation. Zina is zina, regardless if no one, one person, or the whole world knows. It’s still a sin, which would make this ayah applicable. 

    That is, of course, if she or he repents. 

  13. 23 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

    Do you agree with the definition of the term fornicator in the context of the ayah?

    The Qur'an states that we are not supposed to marry fornicators. Wether that is made public or done in private makes no difference since this is a matter of when word will come out (Which it will, eventually.) Someone who has pre-marital sex has committed zina regardless if people find out or not.  

    People who commit zina usually have no shame and are never sorry in having multiple partners. 

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