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Everything posted by Islandsandmirrors

  1. Islandsandmirrors

    First time praying at my local (Sunni) masjid

    I prayed in a Sunni mosque. I felt super awkward and out of place. People were staring.
  2. Islandsandmirrors

    Illegitimate Children

    I live in a big city, what are you talking about? I live in a major city and not some mid western, small town. It’s not just Christians—people of all walks of life and all religions in America will look down upon you. It’s still very taboo. I don’t know about Europe. In America, you are viewed as very selfish and immature to have children out of wedlock. The main reason people get married is not because they want to be husband and wife as we know it, but because of the benefits of being legally “locked down” with someone and for having kids. Most people will never have a child out of wedlock unless you’re really poor or really uneducated. I mean, we have a show dedicated to people with “baby daddies” and how they are so stupid.
  3. We have Sunni narrations that a woman will be with her last husband in paradise. What is Shia Islam’s view of this? If a woman, for instance, divorces or is widowed, and remarries, who will she be with? Does she get to choose? Or are there no limitations in Heaven and you get to be with both?
  4. Seriously, I asked about who a wife ends up with in Heaven, and the subject steers toward haram/halal. Do you have nothing else going on in your lives? The Qur'an doesn’t specify that a woman and a man automatically become haram for each other after their deaths.
  5. Islandsandmirrors


    My husband and I had an early Valentine’s Day and went to the movies. Now I don’t know if it was the chairs or because I was too close the soundbox or what, but I felt like I was spinning. Like imagine spinning around and around and then stopping and how your head feels strange and you feel off-balance. I tried eating some snacks but I’ve felt super drained and could barely focus on the road as we went home. It only got better once I drank water and had some fruit. The only time this happened was when I was hiking in the summer and I nearly passed out due to the heat. Should I be concerned? Is this a sign of anemia or something?
  6. Islandsandmirrors

    Are there 13 Imams in Shi'ism?

    No, there are only 12 Imams. I think you’ve misunderstood the Hadith.
  7. Islandsandmirrors

    Sad news

    What does this mean exactly? Is this supposed to be some aircraft that was supposed to be released in the future?
  8. A Shia boy was killed in Medina by a Sunni man. Someone please find the link. May Allah bless this little boy with paradise.
  9. Islandsandmirrors

    I hate this Ummah

    A person in another thread, when I mentioned the topic of sexual disorders and how shaming someone makes them develop this condition, said I should be ashamed and etc. it brought back SO much pain and this was the final straw for me. I HATE what Muslims have become. I HATE their non-Islamic attitudes with regards to cultural taboos. I hate the ummah’s self-righteousness. I hate how unsympathetic and cold some people can be. Another user said to someone “good for you for losing custody of your child.” You all supporting people like this should be ashamed of yourselves. You wear the hijab or lower your gaze, yet you have no problem hurting other people, mods and regular users alike. Your actions have nothing to do with Islam and everything to do with culture. I pray that Allah gives you the ounce of pain I’ve felt, and I pray that you go through what I did, so that you know what it feels like and you never open your big mouths again. We have people asking the stupidest questions like, “two people committed Zina and had children—should we cease contact with the CHILDREN?” Instead of focusing on Islamic issues, we have crazy people who gang up on others. I don’t care if I get banned. Allah is enough for me. Even if I end up the most alone person on the planet, at least I’ll inshallah be a better example than what some of you people are.
  10. Islandsandmirrors

    I hate this Ummah

    Everyone says, “oh not every Muslim is like this,” when literally so many people are like this.
  11. Islandsandmirrors

    I hate this Ummah

    @AStruggler I became a practicing Muslim later in life instead of doing so right away. In the beginning, I was eager to make friends and be with my sisters. But so many other Muslim women are so cliquey and see me as less than because I don’t wear hijab. They are polite to my face but then talk badly behind my back and even speak in their own language in front of me and start laughing. Other Muslim women scowl at me when I smile at them and they are just so rude.
  12. Hey Bakir, can I send you a PM? I wanted to get your perspective on something. 

    1. Bakir


      My PMs are blocked, but you can contact me through my ShiaChat email: bakir.strike@gmail.com

    2. Islandsandmirrors


      Hey brother, I sent you an email. 

  13. Islandsandmirrors

    Masturbation issue

    What don’t you understand? I said, “I’ve been through something, it’s been physically and emotionally painful but I got through it.” And you proceed to shame me instead of saying, “you went through a painful experience, and I don’t agree with how you said it, but these things happen. Maybe we should bring it up in the sisters forum instead.”
  14. Islandsandmirrors

    I hate this Ummah

    I went through so much with disorder, and because I wanted to write about it, you proceed to be arrogant. You could have literally just ignored my posts instead of intentionally triggering all the pain I felt from that time and being tactful and emotionally understanding that this was a very painful time for me. You don’t know what I’ve been through.
  15. Islandsandmirrors

    Masturbation issue

    Was it bad that I said that the Ummah has this problem? Many women do, and already isolated enough. You have no idea how hurtful you are. I will make Dua that you experience what I went through so you get off your high horse. And I don’t care about you or that you don’t care. You lack empathy. That is disgusting and disgraceful. I didn’t ask you to care.
  16. Islandsandmirrors

    I hate this Ummah

    I can say whatever I want—you do not tell me what to do. This Ummah is an absolute disgrace, online and offline. Everyone can read your posts. You said I should have haya and be ashamed to which you know nothing about. If you had properly read my post, you’d know I wasn’t graphic. But no, you skimmed through it, and proceeded to write a very hurtful and rude post without even thinking.
  17. Islandsandmirrors

    Masturbation issue

    Clearly you didn’t read anything I wrote. Nothing I wrote was shameful and I didn’t get graphic. It is you who has no class since you can’t differentiate between someone being shameless and someone sharing their story. This is not Islam—you’re projecting your own culture.
  18. Islandsandmirrors

    I hate this Ummah

    It’s a build up of everything. People have been bothering me for a long time. Here is the thread: https://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235061130-masturbation-issue/
  19. Islandsandmirrors

    Masturbation issue

    What are you talking about? This is a forum, and your identity is concealed online. You are directly saying that to talk about sexual disorders is shameful and bad, and thus, you are part of the problem. Just because you PERSONALLY have a problem with something, it doesn’t make it morally wrong to talk about it. (If you’re Pakistani, then it doesn’t surprise me that you talk about sexuality as such a shameful thing.) Besides, I did go to a doctor! I don’t have this issue anymore, and I wrote about my experience so that one less person will be alone in this. You have no idea what I went through. You have no idea the pain I felt. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. So stop sticking your head in the sand and say that this shouldn’t be discussed. Children don’t get corrupted knowing about sexual health and disorders—they get traumatized by sexual shaming and explicit images. Why shouldnt anyone talk about sexual disorders online? Where can they turn to for their pain? Their families? It was BECAUSE of SHAME that I developed this disorder. I was SO ashamed that of my sexuality. So don’t tell ANYONE to be ashamed. No one should be shamed for their disorders!
  20. Islandsandmirrors

    Masturbation issue

    I know you didn’t say that. However, many people DO say that. How many times do you see on ShiaChat how Allah will punish you for Zina? Or every time one tries to talk about their sexuality with their parents, they tell them to stop and that it’s bad to even think or talk about it? My husband was told by his parents growing up that sex is bad and only for marriage. As for my mother, she always shamed me for asking questions and demanded to know why I was curious at the age of fourteen. In the end, I found out from friends what sex and sex education was. Would you rather your children find out everything through their friends or through you, as a parent? Who has more info and who is more trustworthy?
  21. Islandsandmirrors

    Masturbation issue

    So much yes. Thanks so much Bakir for this response. If people were as understanding and as open minded as you, I think the Ummah would be a much better place. I think that awareness of issues will happen once people understand that sexual shaming does nothing but harm others. In the age of google and Internet forums, I find that many people are becoming more aware of viewpoints different from theirs, and slowly, become more understanding of sexuality. Gone are the days where people are heavily influenced by their close-nit family and family friends and had little exposure to different views. Nowadays, we have everything at our fingertips. If more people went on their soapbox, to talk about similar issues, we’d be forced to listen at some point. You made a great point that although people shame sexuality, it’s given a crazy amount of importance. The Ummah expects every woman and every man to be a perfect person who has never experienced lust or at least, diminishes it and represses oneself, until you get married, and suddenly, you’re expected to flip a switch overnight and become an on-demand sexual being and “perform” on your wedding night, and which, if one went about it the supposed Islamic way, you wouldn’t know a lot about your spouse to begin with. So essentially, most people in our Ummah are having sex with people they don’t even know properly, yet they are expected, especially women, to be available no matter what. (Unless she’s on her period.) I believe a woman was saying that her husband demanded she sleeps with him after she gave birth and was still in pain. This entitlement is a huge problem for some of our men.
  22. Islandsandmirrors

    Masturbation issue

    You don’t know what that thread was about. I had a sexual disorder that wasn’t discovered until after marriage. (We were unable to consummate our marriage for months.) Women develop this more in Muslim and Christian communities because they’ve been shamed sexually and that sex “is bad”. Do you know how many women have gotten divorced in Christian and Muslim communities or cheated on as a result? In many communities this isn’t talked about, and most men and women don’t know what this is. Do you know why so many men get second wives or a couple is unable to have children? I’m sure that this is one reason why. Men were so rude to me just for this thread and for saying that problems like this exist because of how we talk about sex in our Ummah. (And it got deleted.) I wrote that thread because I’m sure I wasn’t alone and I wanted to spread awareness. How is this lowly? Marriages become BROKEN as a result of not getting treatment. So many couples end up going to sheikhs who don’t know anything about the anatomy when they should be going to gynecologists. I hate the double standards on this forum. Men are allowed to talk about the same boring topics like masturbation for a billion years, but as soon as a woman talks about a SEXUAL DISORDER she is considered shameless and lowly? EDIT: in Iran, they have one of the highest rate of that sexual disorder for women—33%! Shouldn’t that tell you that this is a MAJOR problem because of our negative and shaming attitudes towards sexuality?
  23. Islandsandmirrors

    Little boy killed in Medina just for being Shia

    So is this connected to a Hadith?
  24. Islandsandmirrors

    Interracial Marriages in Shia Islam

    I’m in an interracial marriage. I think once parents are convinced of someone’s character, they’d be more likely to be okay with their child marrying outside of their ethnicity. Still, it is taboo in particular for women to marry outside their ethnicity.
  25. Islandsandmirrors

    How long is your hair?

    There are apparently hair length names, so according to the chart, (you can google it.) how long is your hair? And when was the last time you got a haircut? Last time I got a haircut was in 2017. The lady cut off too much when I only asked for split ends. I lost at least 4-5 inches. I started growing it out at a bit higher than mid-back, and now it’s tailbone length. I’ve gotten a couple of trims since then, but I only let my mother trim my hair since she never takes too much off. Both men and women are free to answer.