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Everything posted by Islandsandmirrors

  1. Thanks, Gaius. I’m glad we are friends. You’re one of the few genuine people I know of. You are also caring and I appreciate that. You’re one of the few members who “gets” what I try to say on the forums.
  2. Not everyone, and definitely not you. It’s just a trend I’ve noticed in people in general. I think many become suspicious of nice people.
  3. Lol I agree with you @Sumerian. Offline, I’m very smiley, but instead of people thinking I’m fake, they think I’m “innocent”, “naive” and my face looks like, as I was told by quite a few, “that had never experienced pain in my life.” Oh, how little they know. Lol. As if you’re supposed to be a total grouch. Actually, people are somewhat grouchy and standoffish past a certain age, and if someone isn’t like that, they get all confused. We expect rudeness from others.
  4. Brother, if someone literally goes insane as in, has a complete break from reality (starts hearing and seeing things) or is mentally disabled and commits suicide, then that isn’t blameworthy. Suicide is haram to the vast majority because they are not mentally impaired to the point that they don’t understand their actions.
  5. Suicide is haram, unless you’re mentally impaired/disabled to the point that you don’t realize what you’re doing.
  6. I’d think that the man has anxiety and is likely depressed. If you are being abused, eating for comfort, and feeling demotivated, I’d suggest seeking professional help, and divorce that abusive wife. No one deserves to be abused.
  7. ^ People stay in marriages not because they are happy, but because of the investment they’ve put in. They likely have kids and think it’s better to stay together than apart. I have tons of examples in my own family of couples who married with significant age gaps. The majority of them are not happy together.
  8. Marrying an older man I’ve heard, from people who are in such marriages, feels like the two are on different life/maturity paths.
  9. This overprotectiveness is the reason why my father refused to let me study at the university of my choice. (I have family in the city I wanted to be, so it’s not like I was going to be alone.) While all my friends, cousins of the same age, male and female, got the best college experience and got to travel abroad. While I stayed home, depressed and utterly miserable. All because I am a woman.
  10. I don’t think people understanding that a man commiting adultery according to some Marjas is an offensive crime. It has nothing to do with feminism, being anti-mutah, or any of that. A man who is so consumed by lust of the forbidden fruit is no real man. This is not an Islamic man. This is animalistic behavior. So why are some people defending him?
  11. I’m married to a Sunni man. The istikhara came out positive. Id say wait before making any decisions—weigh out all the pros and cons. Can you be with this girl for a lifetime? Do you see yourself having children? Continue building the relationship? Will you be happy together? Do you know each other well? Can you communicate effectively?
  12. Yes, “hitting” means to hit with something soft—not your own hands.
  13. As far as I know, pets are halal except having dogs inside the house.
  14. The Qur'an permits hitting wives under one context—that she is rebelliously, and shameless adulterous and flaunts it in front of her husband. This doesn’t give him the right to hit his wife and be abusive since the whole surah is about exceptional cases (insect, wives commiting adultery, etc.)
  15. No, definitely not. If you’re not compatible together, then you shouldn’t marry him.
  16. Male models are just as toxic because the media portrays male models like something out of pornographic videos and that they perpetuate violence against women. male models are portrayed as dominant, domineering, and abusive. Whereas women are sometimes killed in advertisements and are infantilized and are portrayed as passive and submissive.
  17. I’m an extrovert, although many people mistaken me as being introverted. I’m married to an introvert. Eventually, my husband wants alone time, whenever we are together, and of course I don’t mind because I like having some alone time too.
  18. I’m not speaking out of context. I’m saying that you can’t make blanket statement about music being haram when 1. There’s many different kinds of music, not just the ones on the radio 2. Marja haven’t all unanimously agreed that all music is haram. Some Marjas say certain music is haram, others say it’s all haram regardless. So with music, people should refer to their marja. My marja says not all music is haram. So I go by that.
  19. Why couldn't you give the girl the option of becoming Muslim instead of trying to get them to stop seeing each other? Why try to prevent two people from making their relationship halal? If two people really want to be together, and they get along, don't try and stop it.
  20. It’s clear you didn’t read anything I said. For your information, I wasn’t talking about music with bad lyrics. Music is crucial for children.
  21. How can music be haram when public schools use music for child development? In grades pre-K to 3rd grade, nursery rhymes, songs with kinestic movement and play, short songs, are to develop a child’s cognitive, emotional, social, and emotional development. Teachers often use music to help during arts and crafts and concentration. Teachers use music to incorporate learning and learning new words and develop language skills. Without music, there would be no nursery rhymes, no creativity for children (“the wheels on the bus go round and round” “good morning to the sun” “the itsy-bitsy spider” among others) and without music, children would be missing out in developing the fundamentals of language, emotional regulation, and social skills. Think about that before making blanket statements about all types of music.
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