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Everything posted by Islandsandmirrors

  1. I’m an extrovert, although many people mistaken me as being introverted. I’m married to an introvert. Eventually, my husband wants alone time, whenever we are together, and of course I don’t mind because I like having some alone time too.
  2. Why couldn't you give the girl the option of becoming Muslim instead of trying to get them to stop seeing each other? Why try to prevent two people from making their relationship halal? If two people really want to be together, and they get along, don't try and stop it.
  3. It’s clear you didn’t read anything I said. For your information, I wasn’t talking about music with bad lyrics. Music is crucial for children.
  4. How can music be haram when public schools use music for child development? In grades pre-K to 3rd grade, nursery rhymes, songs with kinestic movement and play, short songs, are to develop a child’s cognitive, emotional, social, and emotional development. Teachers often use music to help during arts and crafts and concentration. Teachers use music to incorporate learning and learning new words and develop language skills. Without music, there would be no nursery rhymes, no creativity for children (“the wheels on the bus go round and round” “good morning to the sun” “the itsy-bitsy spider” among others) and without music, children would be missing out in developing the fundamentals of language, emotional regulation, and social skills. Think about that before making blanket statements about all types of music.
  5. Creepy men are creepy with everyone because they are socially inept and gross.
  6. OP: Run, don’t walk away from this marriage. Leave, and don’t even think about him anymore. He’s a nobody, not worthy of your time, energy, effort, love. You deserve to find fierce love with someone who respects and values you. And this man does not even give you its crumbs. You’ll find a really great MAN, not MANCHILD thinking with his other brain, who values you. The longer you stay in this loveless marriage, the more your husband thinks his behavior is okay. You are not someone’s backup plan, for a little fun—no. You deserve someone INVESTED in you, and only has eyes, and a heart, for you.
  7. I would, but my surgeon actually retired a few months after he operated on me, and I believe a different surgeon took over his practice. If you don’t mind, PM me your insurance company and I’ll find a list of surgeons that may work for you in my state or even across the US.
  8. Don’t appreciate your tone. It doesn’t sound very respectful. Um, I wasn’t insecure. I just think I could have looked better. I have always like strong cheekbones. Besides, it was free, and it looks natural. It’s literally bone and not an unnatural material like implants. Why not? If I had to pay, which I would have if I went to a plastic surgeon, I wouldn’t have done it. Besides, I asked my surgeon if he thought I needed it. He said that it’d balance out my features if I did. He’s the type of surgeon to tell you the truth. If you don’t need to fix something, he would discourage you and say it wouldn’t look good. He’s an oral surgeon, not a plastic surgeon.
  9. This relationship is very strange. First, he had a past—yet hypocritically insists on a virgin? Sorry, brother. If you (the man) isn’t a virgin, he can’t expect one in someone else. He sounds entitled. Men can’t just have their fun and then pick a woman who has never even talked with a guy. That’s not how it works. In Islam, both men and women have to guard themselves and prevent haram situations. The responsibility is not only on women. Second, what’s his freak out about you masturbating? I get that some people don’t like it in their spouse, but a person who is empathetic will understand that many people struggle and that they will try to help you overcome it. Not get angry and throw a fit. Getting angry over someone else’s struggle doesn’t help the two of you or your relationship at all. Third, mutah with a non-Muslim is haram (when one is married) according to some marja. It sounds like he’s looking for an excuse to emotionally and physically disconnect from your relationship. It has nothing to do with your past, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He’s the one being selfish. Does he think that people are masoom and sinless? Why does he expect a woman to not have desires while he fulfills every haram and every halal desire just because he’s a man? Fourth, the fact that he uses you for sex only when he wants it and it’s not a mutual thing shows that he doesn’t care about what you want at all. He seems like the kind of person to deny you sex and intimacy when you ask for it, while he expects it on demand. Very imbalanced relationship. I’m sorry, OP.
  10. And I forgot to add that yes, it can be expensive, but typically insurance covers the surgery. Do you have insurance? Without insurance, my surgery out of pocket would have been $200,000.
  11. More like European. (Slim longer face—think Liv Tyler) and not my ethnicity (Persian—they have great bone structure) because of the severity of the open bite. (No contact with back molars and chewing problems.) my TMD dentist and my surgeon’s goal was not only to fix my open bite, but make my face fit my ethnicity. Chinese people have well-defined features typically.
  12. Due to my skeletal malocclusion, I developed a flat mid-face. It was incredibly flat and although I didn’t look awful, I had no defined features or structure to my face, and I wanted my cheeks to look more normal. Now that I have a stronger jawline and overall stronger features, the cheek bones definitely look like they are meant to be there.
  13. I had a Lefort 1, three split osteotomony with upper jaw bone grafts, with maxilla impaction and both jaws moved forward. They decided graft that same bone into my cheeks for facial balance.
  14. the best comment I’ve read today. Thanks for the laugh, man.
  15. Lizzie McGuire Even Stevens Phil of the Future Thats so Raven
  16. Okay, you have not lost your iman. You’re just frustrated and angry—this is normal. You have not left the religion.
  17. Yes, I have hollow cheeks and my maxilla was moved up and forwards.
  18. Not all music can be deemed haram. In fact, most Marjas haven’t reached a consensus on music being completely haram. Some Marjas think all music is haram, others think certain music is haram, and really, music is a grey area. Therapists use calming music in the background of visualization techniques used to reduce anxiety. Yoga is often performed with soothing music in the background. Classical music has been shown to help concentration. Music therapy exists. Metal music, satanic music like Marilyn Manson and the like is not therapeutic and likely haram. Your average feel-good pop song about daily struggles is not. In fact, music is a way to make people feel less alone. Music is a way to be creative, to show others that we all go through the same struggles. It’s comforting to know that even celebs are not immune to feelings of depression, to loss, and to share that in song can be very healing when you feel alone.
  19. A year ago, during double jaw surgery, I got my cheeks augmented at the same time, using my hip bone grafts (as opposed to implants or fat grafts) to add structure to the area. This thread is for people who are curious about what goes into getting any cosmetic enhancement done, wether temporary or permanent. Or any questions you may have. For the record, no one can tell I’ve had this done—they just think my features were enhanced by jaw surgery alone. And it’s probably because I got bone grafts, so they don’t look fake or unnatural.
  20. Did you not read the rest of my post? I said manipulative and abusive people are the worst kind of people to be guided. How is this poor judgement?
  21. So many people I feel are undeserving of guidance, (such as manipulative, abusive people, arrogant ones, people who show off, and those who are complete hypocrites, etc.) whereas other people might not know Islam, and yet, their akhlaq, and character, and patience surpasses the people in our community. They don’t lie, they don’t backbite, or try to make other people’s lives hell, don’t hurt people’s feelings, etc. They live life minding their own business. Why is it that these amazing individuals never become Muslims, and other people, even born Muslims, are the worst people, yet they pray, and fast, and do their wajibats? (Basically, they are outwardly Muslim, yet they don’t take the Qur'an’s teachings to heart and their character is lacking.) Why does Allah guide some, and not others? Why does Allah keep certain people guided, and others are allowed to stray?
  22. For those that view men as cowardly or what have you for being affectionate toward one’s WIFE, then maybe you all should consider that not all men are cold and stoic. And it’s not “the act of non-Muslims” to be affectionate in public. This person just wants to an excuse to label something as haram.
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