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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. You guys …. All of you…. You have no idea what your kindness has meant to me. I’m in a rough place just now… your words have impacted me profoundly. Be assured that the sawab that I get for wearing it will be attributed to you all as well. I will hold your advice dear and wear it, not overthink, do it for the creator and not for creation, and I’ll also see it as one small step towards a better understanding of our faith and a building block to becoming spiritually grounded again. Thank you kind people. May you be rewarded for this.
  2. Salaams All; I don’t know the password for the sisters forum hence posting on here. I am wanting to wear the hijab / headscarf again. For years I wore it and practiced it appropriately. About 8 years ago I went through some difficult times and chose to remove it. I have since become a mum and feel like it’s now or never. Something however isn’t aligning (head, heart, gut). I feel like I’ll be a fake if I do wear it because I don’t see myself as a good enough human being (does that make sense)? I am constantly judging myself, pray first, do all the wajibats appropriately and then wear it. Again I then think, this is just an excuse… so something isn’t right and I’m having difficulty putting my finger on it. The harder I’m trying to convince myself the more difficult it is for me to wear it. Im not really the sort to be bothered about how society will perceive me. I also do not wear tight / inappropriate clothing (just don’t like that sort of thing) so literally it really is just about covering my hair. I feel that personally it’s down to me thinking “will I be able to maintain it”? what does maintaining it look like? Will I be a fake if I wear it and say for example not pray? Shouldn’t I be fulfilling other wajibats first? I’m so confused. Has anyone else been through something similar? What was your struggle? What made you wear it? What about summer when it’s so hot? Was it hard to maintain? Please don’t judge me- I’m genuinely seeking some loving, kind advice. Thank you
  3. Salaam Alykum All; I have a question for ladies who don’t wear the hijab. Quite often we hear about women getting a lot of flack in public for choosing to cover their hair. I’m curious to know if any women here who don’t wear the hijab have received flack for not wearing it? Have you ever felt judged / been made to feel “not good enough” for not wearing it? Before anyone points out the obvious re it being Wajib - I know the religious law re having to wear it, I am curious to know of the social connotations in this instance.
  4. Follow your heart ❣ If you like each other so much - look into the concept of Mutah, ask questions (lots of them too) and once you’ve familiarised yourself with the concept - it might or may not make sense. In my culture it’s very common for us to have the Mutah recited after engagement leading up to the Nikaah. Mutah is not forced up on anyone. It’s been created to safeguard against sinning. As a woman, I too was dead against it as I felt the concept was one for the man and not women (for those of you reading & judging at this moment; please don’t - this was how I felt at the time and my feelings are valid because they are / were mine). This was primarily due to me being on the “meet and greet” scene. Virtually every man I met was keen on having it recited after our first coffee. It may have been the right thing for them, but it wasn’t for me, so I refused. I wasn’t interested in sleeping with them after my first coffee and when I questioned them about why Mutah so soon, nine times of ten I got “because eventually we will be intimate” (note the assumption and lack of consent!) Anyway, cutting a long story short when I met my now wonderful husband - he super respected boundaries. I’m not easily led and I don’t like being touched, hugged, kissed etc unless I have specifically said to you it’s okay to do so. After a few months of talking etc. He mentioned it and I agreed to it. But this was only and only because I felt that I would be doing it for the right purposes. You like him... he likes you.... so what have you got to loose by giving it a go? Love doesn’t come around very often and when it does you need to hold on to it because who knows what tomorrow may bring?? I hope it all works out for you - I really do xx
  5. OMG!!! There’s even a dog forum here (happy clap, happy clap, happy happy clap)!! Ive been wanting a Pomeranian forever - can’t get one though (obviously) but omg this forum has made my morning!! Thank you to whoever set it up... ❤️
  6. @Shia farm girl He does so as it’s Sunnah to have lights on in the house during sunset. Much like you I’m a HSP. I can’t do bright lights, noise and other sensory overloads. We’ve compromised - I do switch the lights on but they are the small ones which are less intrusive : )
  7. My two bits: I got married Allhm last summer. I wouldn’t class myself as overtly religious in my practice but the person I got married to doesn’t skip his salaat come hell or high water, he will pray... along side that he does these traditional sweet things like switching on ALL of the lights in our house at Magrib time, Sadaka every Friday, reciting Qur'an after every salaat. When I got married I was honest about my practice and what I can tell you is this... he really helps me to pray on time and become better in my practice. Perhaps have an open conversation? “I really think this can work but....” Also we have a “no blame” rule in our house... blame is never helpful so try and stave away from that line of enquiry... IA it’ll work out. Ps - I do pray on time now and switch the lights on like it’s Diwali at sunset time
  8. You did the right thing... (According to me anyway) Right now, remember that your emotions are all over the place so you’re bound to feel confused, frightened and doubtful. I see it as: What if that was your daughter? Or your sister? Would you sit back and not do anything? You wouldn’t would you? ”This” here, now, - it will pass... Have faith, IA it’ll all be okay.
  9. Salaam Alykum Everyone; My OH & I are hoping to relocate to Doha in the next couple of months. I was wondering if anyone on here has moved there from the United Kingdom or elsewhere and if so: What is like for the Shias? Is there anything we need to be aware of? Are there any mosques that provide English lectures? If there are any other things / issues I need to be aware of please say.... Thank you
  10. Salaam Alykum Everyone, Not sure if I’m posting this under the right topic but I’ll be grateful for any help / insight into my dream. In it, I was told to recite Surah Ayn 30 times... I have tried looking at numerous sources etc but can’t find a Surah Ayn.... Can Ayn mean something else? What is the significance of 30? Any help will be much appreciated. Thank you
  11. Amazing read!! Someone on social media needs to share this with the wider audience. Really enjoyed it! Thank you
  12. Imam Ali Foundation in London were so helpful with mine. They will advocate for her too if she's being abused. Anyway here are the details: Tele: 0208 451 1619 A domestic abuse helpline maybe helpful to her too....
  13. I'm also so confused.... Anyway brother seeing as you have decided to move on because as a nurse she's hurting her patients, then surely you have a moral obligation to report her ... That's a mega safeguarding (in this country anyway) .... I urge you seriously do something about it. People are putting their trust in her when they are at their most vulnerable ..... You can't walk away doing nothing about it....
  14. As a woman I think it's also important for brothers to recognise that it is not ok to approach women with the sole intention of fulfilling lustful desires. As a divorced woman I have lost count of the amount of men who either through match making websites or other means have approached me just for that, with no shame or dignity. Just because a woman is divorced or single for that matter it is not ok for brothers to treat her as "disposable". So in short, the concept of mutah is excellent for realistic reasons as the laws stipulate, however it's not ok to misuse it. Perhaps educating brothers a bit more is the way forward.
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