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In the Name of God بسم الله

A7861

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    Shia Muslim

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  1. Follow your heart ❣ If you like each other so much - look into the concept of Mutah, ask questions (lots of them too) and once you’ve familiarised yourself with the concept - it might or may not make sense. In my culture it’s very common for us to have the Mutah recited after engagement leading up to the Nikaah. Mutah is not forced up on anyone. It’s been created to safeguard against sinning. As a woman, I too was dead against it as I felt the concept was one for the man and not women (for those of you reading & judging at this moment; please don’t - this was how I felt at the time and my feelings are valid because they are / were mine). This was primarily due to me being on the “meet and greet” scene. Virtually every man I met was keen on having it recited after our first coffee. It may have been the right thing for them, but it wasn’t for me, so I refused. I wasn’t interested in sleeping with them after my first coffee and when I questioned them about why Mutah so soon, nine times of ten I got “because eventually we will be intimate” (note the assumption and lack of consent!) Anyway, cutting a long story short when I met my now wonderful husband - he super respected boundaries. I’m not easily led and I don’t like being touched, hugged, kissed etc unless I have specifically said to you it’s okay to do so. After a few months of talking etc. He mentioned it and I agreed to it. But this was only and only because I felt that I would be doing it for the right purposes. You like him... he likes you.... so what have you got to loose by giving it a go? Love doesn’t come around very often and when it does you need to hold on to it because who knows what tomorrow may bring?? I hope it all works out for you - I really do xx
  2. OMG!!! There’s even a dog forum here (happy clap, happy clap, happy happy clap)!! Ive been wanting a Pomeranian forever - can’t get one though (obviously) but omg this forum has made my morning!! Thank you to whoever set it up... ❤️
  3. @Shia farm girl He does so as it’s Sunnah to have lights on in the house during sunset. Much like you I’m a HSP. I can’t do bright lights, noise and other sensory overloads. We’ve compromised - I do switch the lights on but they are the small ones which are less intrusive : )
  4. My two bits: I got married Allhm last summer. I wouldn’t class myself as overtly religious in my practice but the person I got married to doesn’t skip his salaat come hell or high water, he will pray... along side that he does these traditional sweet things like switching on ALL of the lights in our house at Magrib time, Sadaka every Friday, reciting Qur'an after every salaat. When I got married I was honest about my practice and what I can tell you is this... he really helps me to pray on time and become better in my practice. Perhaps have an open conversation? “I really think this can work but....” Also we have a “no blame” rule in our house... blame is never helpful so try and stave away from that line of enquiry... IA it’ll work out. Ps - I do pray on time now and switch the lights on like it’s Diwali at sunset time
  5. You did the right thing... (According to me anyway) Right now, remember that your emotions are all over the place so you’re bound to feel confused, frightened and doubtful. I see it as: What if that was your daughter? Or your sister? Would you sit back and not do anything? You wouldn’t would you? ”This” here, now, - it will pass... Have faith, IA it’ll all be okay.
  6. Salaam Alykum Everyone; My OH & I are hoping to relocate to Doha in the next couple of months. I was wondering if anyone on here has moved there from the United Kingdom or elsewhere and if so: What is like for the Shias? Is there anything we need to be aware of? Are there any mosques that provide English lectures? If there are any other things / issues I need to be aware of please say.... Thank you
  7. Salaam Alykum Everyone, Not sure if I’m posting this under the right topic but I’ll be grateful for any help / insight into my dream. In it, I was told to recite Surah Ayn 30 times... I have tried looking at numerous sources etc but can’t find a Surah Ayn.... Can Ayn mean something else? What is the significance of 30? Any help will be much appreciated. Thank you
  8. Amazing read!! Someone on social media needs to share this with the wider audience. Really enjoyed it! Thank you
  9. Imam Ali Foundation in London were so helpful with mine. They will advocate for her too if she's being abused. Anyway here are the details: Tele: 0208 451 1619 A domestic abuse helpline maybe helpful to her too....
  10. I'm also so confused.... Anyway brother seeing as you have decided to move on because as a nurse she's hurting her patients, then surely you have a moral obligation to report her ... That's a mega safeguarding (in this country anyway) .... I urge you seriously do something about it. People are putting their trust in her when they are at their most vulnerable ..... You can't walk away doing nothing about it....
  11. As a woman I think it's also important for brothers to recognise that it is not ok to approach women with the sole intention of fulfilling lustful desires. As a divorced woman I have lost count of the amount of men who either through match making websites or other means have approached me just for that, with no shame or dignity. Just because a woman is divorced or single for that matter it is not ok for brothers to treat her as "disposable". So in short, the concept of mutah is excellent for realistic reasons as the laws stipulate, however it's not ok to misuse it. Perhaps educating brothers a bit more is the way forward.
  12. You know maybe I am... Thank you though I'll speak to someone at mosque... I'm sure it'll help.... Thank you
  13. Thanks my family are aware and looking as for the mosque ... It's a bit awkward.... But like me saying "I need a husband...find me one..... Desperate" you see?
  14. Hey Mehdi; SA Heres my take on it (and I reiterate "take")... I think you need to ask yourself what you'd loose if you gave it all to her. At a wedding (Khoja weddings) jewellery gifts are ordinarily given to the woman because she is the woman (in the sense that she'd wear them). The other thing you need to consider is her future (one can argue that's not your problem!!) how will she support herself, where will she go etc etc. The only reason I say this is because I walked away with nothing and as much as it was wholly my choice... As a lone woman it would've been helpful.... Anyway I'm sure it's all sorted out by now... If not I hope I've helped A
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