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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. Men don’t moisturize? How is it manly to have dull, dry skin?
  2. MEDIATOR PERSONALITY (INFP, -A/-T) Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine.
  3. Exactly what I was talking about. There is no shame in turning to God and no one said anything like that. It makes no sense to say I mocked the religion because I did in no way. There is an issue with shaming people because they may not be able to pray like you do. Also I never said prayer isn’t important or that I do not pray or care for it. Barely able to pray =\= I don’t pray and you shouldn’t either. I pray daily, however hard it is for me. I ask God daily to help me strength the relationship between us and I take baby steps to get there. I guess it only counts if I make a huge deal out of it or say on my post that I have to go pray. I’d like to repost what I said before everyone attacks me again Stop telling people if they pray and are nice to their parents everything will get better No one said don’t pray and don’t be kind to your parents. No one is mocking religion. No one tells you to just pray it out when you tell them you have any other health issues. Is telling someone to get medicine for fever also secular? It simply says don’t tell people prayer is the answer to all of their issues when they have a lot of other things which weigh them down. If they are able to get through those things it will help them with their spirituality.Telling someone to seek therapy doesn’t mean prayer cannot also be the answer. Doesn’t mean either one is the only answer.
  4. Is shiachat a marriage forum because we always have marriage related topics here and people have actually gotten married after meeting here? Or is it a politics forum? She is looking for an outlet and picked one where the people would best be able to understand her situation. Where else would people understand her life? Most likely non Muslims tell you to disobey your parents and try to leave the house which is impossible in cases like ours. Just because the topic has other undertones doesnt mean it doesn’t belong here or we can’t reply in a manner that isn’t religious. In our communities these issues aren’t considered important enough and everyone tells you you’re not religious or a good enough muslim because you’re depressed or may have any other mental health problems. Everyone thinks the magical answer is praying and being good. A lot of the time it’s not. Also I was speaking from experience and hearing people say that kind of thing is beyond annoying and hurtful so I didn’t want that for this sister. There have been countless examples here where people offer no good advice besides telling people to pray more or whatever they can think of because they haven’t had the luck of having any mental health issues. There’s nothing wrong with telling people to save their opinions that are of no use. There’s also evidence from her post that she tries with her family and would like to be more religious already. It would make no sense to tell her something like that when there obviously a lot of issues besides that which need to be resolved. Therapy and getting medicated are different things and I told her about therapy specifically. I don’t understand how undermining my post helps her in any way.
  5. Guys who’ve had a bad time getting women or those who have had a bad experience with one. Your experiences don’t define what an entire gender is like. I’ve had bad experiences with men and almost all of them did not measure up to my expectations. I will caution young girls to watch out for certain signs and the like, NOT tell them to lose all hope or to stop looking for what they want in men because perhaps I haven’t known a man with those characteristics.
  6. Why do men who have had very little luck with women give out such terrible advice for young guys that are earnestly looking for a partner
  7. Children start touching themselves at very young ages, it is quite common for children even under 5 to do so. This develops into pleasuring themselves as they get older and parents (usually) ignore it. Nowadays children as young as 12 have girlfriends and boyfriends and they’re all partaking in sexual activities. Should we teach them about mutah too? They are mature enough to do many of the things you mentioned. Children are not dumb but there are many things we don’t understand until we are older. One of those is having sexual partners. How will a 16 year old find someone to do mutah with? Where will he do it? How long will he do it for and how many times? Is that enough for him to last until he can permanently marry? Is it possible for him to have mutahs continuously until years later? I agree with your second point that we need to educate them about these things. You can’t just go out and tell a 16 year old to do mutah. Especially because he won’t understand anything about it. It isn’t discussed in our communities. There needs to be more guidance if you are to tell him to go ahead and do a it. More importantly he needs to learn how to have control over himself and his desires. It’s irresponsible to simply tell him to do a mutah.
  8. I was always taught that only people who believed in Wilayah will go to heaven? Please elaborate if you can
  9. Salam I don’t think you’re looking for the “wrong thing” at all. It’s actually very admirable that you’re looking for these traits in a spouse. It’s important you look for things that are important to you because you will spend your life with this person-you need to be able to talk about the things you like with her. I think one of the major reasons there are less females like this or it’s less visible in females is because it’s not encouraged. Men are more encouraged in every culture to educate themselves and be “thinkers” and intellectuals. Often, women are discouraged from studying too much or becoming too knowledgeable and having too many opinions (like another poster has said). There are still places all over the world where women are not allowed to even study. The ones who do study are told they’ll end up having to stay home and become homemakers anyway so there’s no point in going above and beyond (at least I’ve seen this a lot in my culture). With that said, I have met many women who have all the qualities you mentioned so I don’t think it’s impossible. However you may need to be less focused on just these qualities. Don’t be disheartened, but don’t rule out people because they may not exactly what you wanted. Often we are too rigid and we’ve had too many fantasies of the perfect spouse in our heads for too long and we miss out on great people. Sometimes someone opposite of what we wanted becomes the perfect one for us. I hope I’ve been able to help in even the slightest way. May Allah help you in your search.
  10. Tinnitus is pretty common but not curable. Try look at ways to cope with it rather than treat it. https://www.healthline.com/health/tinnitus-remedies#takeaway
  11. Huh, thought this was for who posted most each week haha. Thank you
  12. Mad=Extremely my dream is to one day create beautifully round parathas without a pin roller. I will become a true Desi woman that day. My husband will kiss my feet while mil watches in horror how I’ve finally conquered her son’s heart and taken her place as Numero Uno.
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