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In the Name of God بسم الله

fathl

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  1. Salaam Kim, I'm a talkative guy, and usually have some humerous and interesting things to say. I would assume she laughs at my comments because she enjoys the interaction. Not necessarily because she is emotionally fulfilled/happy or something. Anyway, since I appreciated your thoughts, here is how I approached her, and won her yes :-) I basicly told her that I needed a female perspective on a dilemma, and that I wanted to get her thoughts on them. After work, we had a pleasant conversation, and then i brought the issue up. I said something to the tune of: "Hey, I have a close friend wh
  2. I never expected the guys at this forum to be so contemptious and hostile against a fellow shia muslim, for simply asking advice. And to top it, to give such malicious and cowardly advice; lecturing me about some ettiquete while being so rude and unrespectfull. Maybe next time, I should resort back to my atheistic friends in the netherlands, who have proven to be far more friendly and wise than most of you did. Really, I've never personally experienced racism, or visible hostility from from my contemporary friends in the netherlands, or fellow citizens for that matter; to experience these at
  3. Ali_Hussein, Good point, and its an assumption I'm well aware off. I wouldnt press her to give up her carreer, or neglect it, not at all. By all account, I would love to see her continue to grow, intellectually, carreer-wise, and preferably at our office. At the board, we have no doubt that she might prove herself to be the most valuable programmer among all her peers. Yes, thats right, a woman so briliant and fast-paced, that she overtakes all her highly experienced male colleagues. A soft-mannered, mature woman, which projects brilliance and innocence, seems to me the ultimate a candida
  4. Keys2paradis, she hasnt formally/publicaly accepted his proposal yet. I think she has yet to get to know him. And she hasnt informed this to me herself. She only revealed it after an interview with our HR manager, and she implied that the issue wasnt certain yet. starlight, that is correct. she isnt engaged, its just thinking and talking. ruffles, The situation that your friend experienced doesnt necessarily scale to my situation. I'ld be interested though in the reasons that contributed in the breakdown of these relationships. So if you could elaborate, I would appreciate that. admin,
  5. Its seems all the men are cautioning me against approaching her. And there are some good reasons to do so. Women are in plenty supply, but I might miss out on one of the best chances in life to get a woman of that high value and quality, a perfect mother. And really, although the costs might huge, I still wiling to incur the cost to take that shot. I just dont know yet how to get mange the possible blowback. Admin, I dont watch hollywood movies. And your making false assumptions about me which are completely untrue. On the otherhand, the reasons you summed up, are my fears too, an its the
  6. Perhaps I've come to the wrong forum for advice. Never expected an Admin to be so hostile, and full of contempt. Enlightment, feelings are like apetite, it comes and goes, and I wouldnt count on them to guide me in my decisions. But I do blaim myself for not approaching her earlier, and going forward from there. In this north african city, and of the close to hundred of university graduates that did a job-interview at our office, I havent met a man or woman yet who could match this particular girl in terms of her value to the company (knowledge, skills, and experience) and her personalit
  7. Salaam brothers and sisters. I could really use some advise. We have a female employee working at our office. She has proven herself to be a very disciplined, intelligent and hard working female, and I felt immediately attracted when I was first introduced to her. I have kept my feelings inward, and have remained focused on my own responsibilities, and have cherished the intention of approaching her after I have finished my main work. This was like two months ago. And just yesterday, I heard from the CEO (who is my elder brother) and human resource manager (who is a close friend and t
  8. logical islam, How could you commit yourself to long-term relationship with a girl, whose moral values are "unknown" to you? I partially agree with you on muttah though, its diffucult to talk about it openly..
  9. (salam) I just read your replys(both The patriot and blessedflower), and want to thank you for your greatly for them, may Allah reward you. In a kaffir society as where i am, finding a person for marriage is a good as impossible if u want her to be either a muslim or from ahle-kitab, coz most females in the universitys are just plain atheists/agnostic. I see no other option left but keeping the gaze low. But I will need a lot of will power to do that, anyone any good advices how to train myself into that? or maybe a link to a good book/lecture which deals with this kind of sittuations? And n
  10. (salam) sorry for my late reply, uhm, a friend of mine informed me that any type of physical contact is not allowed in islam, and that this is zina (even if its not sexual). So as a muslim ur not allowed to give a non-mahrem female a hand when greeting eachother. With this issue, i have no problem and i can understand. But this brother also told me that in islam it is not even allowed to look at the face or eyes of a non-mahrem women because this is zina too. But to me, this can sometimes look more like an act of dis-respect, when people are talking to you and you dont look them in the eye/f
  11. (bismillah) (salam) Suppose you just happened to meet a female, be it a teacher or whatsover, could someone please tell me what the apropriote islamic way is to have a conversation with her? I also was wondering if there are any ''halal'' ways to get in touch with women (with the intention of marriage). What is allowed in Islam and what is not? And what acts or behaviour constitute zina? please, send serious post because im daily confronted with these issues wassalaam Fathl
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