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In the Name of God بسم الله

Connectors

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  1. Like
    Connectors reacted to certainclarity in Seeking advice on wedding costs and current trends   
    Go with the times. Go tech. Invite all on facebook, decorate your page, post video of your wedding vow with wife and pics of various food. Done.
     
  2. Like
    Connectors reacted to Pearl178 in Genuine faithful   
    If they are not kind, they are not religious.  A kind person can become religious but an unkind human can never earn that title. 
  3. Like
    Connectors got a reaction from yasahebalzaman.313 in How to Attain Great Enlightment?   
    Salaam Aleikum,
    Enlightenment is the greatest thing there is because you see Reality for what it really is.
    In order to achieve this, one must follow the True Path as God has told us to do. You cannot rely on what others do or say, because only very few follow the right path.
    Enlightenment can only be attained through hard work and in this process you will face many hardships. It is not something easily given to anyone by God. After you pass a test, there will be a bigger test, after that even bigger, etc. It may take years to get there, one must persist!
    First thing to do is stop all sins that you commit. If you have any addictions, then those must be stopped as well (gradually).
    Two important things in order to get there is Zikr & Salah. Always try to be in Zikr and always pray your Salah.
  4. Like
    Connectors got a reaction from Abdul Batin Bey in How to Attain Great Enlightment?   
    Salaam Aleikum,
    Enlightenment is the greatest thing there is because you see Reality for what it really is.
    In order to achieve this, one must follow the True Path as God has told us to do. You cannot rely on what others do or say, because only very few follow the right path.
    Enlightenment can only be attained through hard work and in this process you will face many hardships. It is not something easily given to anyone by God. After you pass a test, there will be a bigger test, after that even bigger, etc. It may take years to get there, one must persist!
    First thing to do is stop all sins that you commit. If you have any addictions, then those must be stopped as well (gradually).
    Two important things in order to get there is Zikr & Salah. Always try to be in Zikr and always pray your Salah.
  5. Like
    Connectors reacted to yusur317 in Hijabi Brides   
    I'm actually not looking forward to marriage so much :S The unknown is scary! If you marry someone you met yourself, what if he or you fall out of love? If you marry someone through an arranged marriage, what if he drops his facade and shows a repulsive true self? What if he takes you for granted? What if he treats you like a maid? What if he's got insecurities towards his masculinity and turns all macho/authoratitive? What if he doesn't love you at all but just married you for the sake of being married? What if he cheats on you (mut3a or not) without your knoweldge? There's just too much! Thinking of marriage makes me panic! I almost want to skip that step and just keep the little ones. Because the one thing I'm sure of is that I definitely want children (iA) 
    I edited it short. What followed was a little embarrassing. Thought it wouldn't be, but I read over it and it was. In short, i wrote out scenarios I day dreamt about my little ones to be iA. 
  6. Like
    Connectors reacted to Z1111 in [MATURE]The days following my wedding day   
    UPDATE:
    Salam
    I didnt tell my husband every detail of my personal life but I did tell him the main point that I am going through a hard time and felt it would be best to schedule the wedding. His parents won't happy and the first excuse they came up with is the "girl's depressed and isn't ready and will affect our son's health too" well I agree with what they said. They asked how long the schedule is for and I replied "Until I'm ready". With every reply I could feel the interest leave and he finally asked "are you sure you want to continue, I don't want someone who's not mentally ready to take of care of our kids". At that point I decided to be fair and honest and not lead someone on whilst I am not mentally ready and his parents are desperate to marry him off as soon as possible. I confessed that I wasn't "mentally ready because like his mother said I'm going through a low point". He was down and I could feel it with his reply, he was shocked, i often try my best to control my face when it comes to sorrow and that's why he never thought I was that "unhappy woman who still doesn't know what she wants". He was honest with me and said he doesn't want someone who's emotionally and mentally not ready like he described "with kids comes the biggest emotional roller coaster".  And when I am still working on myself the kids won't get what they deserve, a happy mother. With all the discussions and even when he tried to directly say his final words, I thought I would say it for him " it's best to leave the marriage and I hope you find a person who's ready. I need counselling"
    It was over. I felt no grief I'll be honest only because I have reached my highest depression that this didn't add anything more. 
    I was about to speak to a counsellor but she was unavailable and her sweet friend offered her help (the one that led me to this consellour) and she is a social worker. Alhamdallah a shia one. She says she has the experience to help and has been through many similiar cases. We haven't spoken about the price yet (if she does charge) but I'll let you know when I do.
    Furthermore, I feel like a burden has now left my shoulder regarding the engagment.  Now I can work on myself without feeling extra responsibility/pressure and this time I will avoid marriage until I am ready for it. Every kid deserves a mother with a heart full of happiness to share with them, not sorrow. 
    Thanks for everyone's replies, prayers. Love reading every single one of your posts. 
  7. Like
    Connectors got a reaction from Z1111 in [MATURE]The days following my wedding day   
    @Z1111
    Salaams,
    I read your post and I feel very sorry about it. I scanned through the comments and there is something I want to mention.
    I don't want to sound negative or break the love bubble, but know that everybody is different and everyone has gone through different experiences in life, it is who shapes us as we are today.
    Keep in mind, it is possible that, when you will tell your fiancee, he might have a hard time dealing with it. It is even possible that he might not want to proceed.
    In the case this happens, then you must know that he is not worth pursuing. If he truly loves you, he will stay with you and be patient. If he truly has Taqwa, then he will accept it and help you with it.
    Sorry to say this, I truly do hope you all the best for you and may God give you what is best for you.
  8. Like
    Connectors reacted to Soldiers and Saffron in Can we all just be thankful?   
    Ws,
    Humans will always be ungrateful.
    Give a man 3 mountains of gold, he will ask: where is the fourth one?
    The battlefield is jihad al akbar.
  9. Like
    Connectors reacted to Al naj in How to Attain Great Enlightment?   
    @hameedeh and @Connectors
    im really sorry about what happened I thought I pressed the reply button, I was wondering why my message is not in the this topic.
    and thank you hameedeh for notice.
  10. Like
    Connectors reacted to Hameedeh in How to Attain Great Enlightment?   
    @Connectors Al naj replied to you, but accidentally clicked the Report button instead of Reply, so the message was sent only to Moderators. Al Naj's message to you:
    Again thank you so much brother, your very right it's all about what you do and not just doing what others do too.
    i have learned a lot from your post thank you
    may Allah bless you
  11. Like
    Connectors got a reaction from certainclarity in How to Attain Great Enlightment?   
    Salaam Aleikum,
    Enlightenment is the greatest thing there is because you see Reality for what it really is.
    In order to achieve this, one must follow the True Path as God has told us to do. You cannot rely on what others do or say, because only very few follow the right path.
    Enlightenment can only be attained through hard work and in this process you will face many hardships. It is not something easily given to anyone by God. After you pass a test, there will be a bigger test, after that even bigger, etc. It may take years to get there, one must persist!
    First thing to do is stop all sins that you commit. If you have any addictions, then those must be stopped as well (gradually).
    Two important things in order to get there is Zikr & Salah. Always try to be in Zikr and always pray your Salah.
  12. Like
    Connectors got a reaction from Al naj in How to Attain Great Enlightment?   
    Salaam Aleikum,
    Enlightenment is the greatest thing there is because you see Reality for what it really is.
    In order to achieve this, one must follow the True Path as God has told us to do. You cannot rely on what others do or say, because only very few follow the right path.
    Enlightenment can only be attained through hard work and in this process you will face many hardships. It is not something easily given to anyone by God. After you pass a test, there will be a bigger test, after that even bigger, etc. It may take years to get there, one must persist!
    First thing to do is stop all sins that you commit. If you have any addictions, then those must be stopped as well (gradually).
    Two important things in order to get there is Zikr & Salah. Always try to be in Zikr and always pray your Salah.
  13. Like
    Connectors reacted to certainclarity in The pros of loneliness   
    Ok, I see what you mean.
    For me personally, being alone, was the greatest gift of my life given by Allah, that I cannot compare it with being with anyone. 
    Infact being with people was more dangerous for me!
    I experienced the aya where Allah questions his slaves;
    " Is Allah not sufficient for his servant?"
    When I was made to realize this ayah, even if the earth has no one in it , I can never feel alone or lonely, because I have Allah.
    But the moment we limit our minds that we need a partner to be complete, that is where loneliness starts.Because is bound to limits and because we are so used to seeing the physical, the a absence of it causes a feeling of loneliness in the mind.
    I went thru the state of aloneness and loneliness just because I really did not realize I can connect with Allah.
    Once I opened my mind to possibilites that you really don't need anyone one but Allah, Allah himself miraculously took the loneliness away from me.
    Since then I have not felt alone / lonely or despressed Alhamdulilah.
    It has been years after that experience.
    The days I was Alone, were the best days I had, as I experienced a lot of things that I never experienced when I was family/ friends/ partner ...
    There is a Hadith by Imam Jafar al Sadiq where he says, if only people knew what is in aloneness, they would even want to run away from themselves !
  14. Like
    Connectors reacted to Ali al-Abdullah in The pros of loneliness   
    I like being alone and studying Islam and Rasūl‘Allah (sawas) Ahl al-Bayt (as) and contemplating on Allah's creation. In general I like being alone except when im not with my family, especially my parents.
  15. Like
    Connectors reacted to Abu Hadi in How to Heal a Broken-Hearted Soul?   
    You are partially correct and partially incorrect in this statement. 
    First, I agree wholeheartedly that most communities, at least in the West, are completely overcome by love for the Dunya, so this has stopped their correct and Islamic based thinking around the issue of marriage. Instead of marriage being a practical exercise in how to build up the Islamic community and satisfy the needs of our youth, it has become a vehicle for muslims to attempt to realize their unrealistic dreams of the dunya. I have been saying this for years. I could expand on the subject, but it seems that noone is listening or cares what I have to say about this. Moving on. 
    At the same time, If Allah(s.w.a) has made something incumbent on you, He(s.w.a) has also made it possible for you. That is called Adl, or Justice of Allah(s.w.a) and we as muslim are required to believe in the Justice or Adilat of Allah(s.w.a). Disbelieving in His(s.w.a) Justice is equivalent to disbelieving in Him(s.w.a). 
    As a man or women, there are always prospects for marriage. You need to look around and expand your horizons in this regard. Especially, it seem, with South Asians (and some Arabs also), the parents play this game with the minds of their children where they tell them you can only marry someone whom they pick for them and they can only do so after they have finished their post graduate education and have a large amount of money in the bank. That is, of course, false and against Islam, but most brothers and sisters go along with this and then end up getting corrupted. 
    They tell themselves and each other, 'Well I am do 'Ahsan', goodness, to parents and the Quran says this'. Yes, but the Quran also says, in the same ayat, 'If they ask you to join partners with Allah, DO NOT OBEY THEM'. 
    When Allah(s.w.a) says, 'These are the requirements for marriage, 1, 2, 3'
    And parents say, 'These are OUR requirement for marriage, 1,2,3'. And the 1,2,3 is different between Allah(s.w.a) and your parent and you obey your parents with the thought in your mind that your parents requirement 1,2,3 are the requirements and not the requirements of Allah(s.w.a), then they are asking you to join partners with Allah(s.w.a) and you are obeying them. This is something that Allah(s.w.a) tells you not to do. 
    So if brothers and sisters do this, then they really have noone to blame except themselves. Because Allah(s.w.a) gave us many options regarding marriage. 
    And there needs to be an uprising in the community against these cultural, non Islamic practices regarding marriage. I keep waiting for it to happen, been waiting a while now. 
  16. Like
    Connectors reacted to humanbeing101 in How to Heal a Broken-Hearted Soul?   
    This deserves a million salawat. It pretty much describes my life and I bet the lives of many other shia. 
  17. Like
    Connectors reacted to Struggling_onn in How to Heal a Broken-Hearted Soul?   
    This is one narration that really consoles every broken heart. Whenever I used to feel sad and lonely I would read this one again n  again. Not that I consider myself as  Shia but thinking if I have to be one then I should be ready for trials even the hardest ones... And one of them is to be rejected by women for marriage for no Islamic reason !!! 
  18. Like
    Connectors reacted to celestial in How to Heal a Broken-Hearted Soul?   
    Abu Sulayman Ahmad bin Hawtha al-Bahili narrated from Abu Iss’haq Ibraheem bin Iss’haq an-Nahawandi from Abdullah bin Hammad al-Ansari from someone that one of the companions had come to Abu Abdullah as-Sadiq (as) and said to him:
    “May I die for you! By Allah, I love you and love whoever loves you. O my master, how many your Shia are!”
    Abu Abdullah as-Sadiq (as) said: “Would you please mention them?”
    The man said: “They are too many.”
    He said: “Could you count them?”
    The man said: “They are much more than to be counted.”
    Abu Abdullah as-Sadiq (as) said: “If the number becomes three hundred and a little more then what you want will happen. Our Shia are those, whose voice dose not pass beyond their ears, nor does their zeal go beyond their body, nor do they praise us openly, nor quarrel with anyone because of us, nor sit with anyone criticizing us, nor talk with anyone abusing us, nor love whoever hates us and do not hate whoever loves us.”
    The man said: “Then how do we deal with these different groups, who pretend that they are Shia?”
    He said: “They will be tried, purified and distinguished. Years come that will perish them, a sword that will kill them and disagreement that will scatter them. Our real Shia are those, who do not growl like a dog, do not covet like a crow and do not ask people for alms even if they die of hunger.”
    The man said: “May I die for you! Where can I find such a kind of people?”
    He said: “You can find them in the far sides of the world. They are those, whose lives are so simple, whose abodes move from place to another, who if are seen, will not be known, if absent, will not be missed, if become ill, will not be visited, if propose to a woman, will not be married and if die, their funerals will not be attended. It is they, who divide their monies among them, who visit each other in their graves and who never disagree even if their countries are different.”
    From the Kitab Al-Ghayba
  19. Like
    Connectors reacted to enigma313 in How to Heal a Broken-Hearted Soul?   
    Omg, it's like this was written for me personally. 
  20. Like
    Connectors reacted to Olaff8388 in How to Heal a Broken-Hearted Soul?   
    What is one to do in this situation . . .

    When prayers, supplications, and reading the Holy Quran, with the intention of finding a soul-mate through Holy Islamic Matrimony, fails?

    When the first question which Muslim people inquire about is your marital status, but they do nothing to fulfill that inquiry?

    When you have listened to the preaching of the importance of marriage by Holy personalities and scholars for years, but it never seems to apply to you?

    When you watch Muslim people get married, but you are never invited to celebrate or congratulate, and you are left by all by your lonesome?

    When you lose hope and lose your ability to practice Islam because of sexual frustration, and the circumstances mentioned above (Loss of faith)?

    When you shed tears day and night because all you are left with is the dating game, even though you are truly a believer in the Ahlul-Bayt and Islam?

    When you have no prospects for a Marriage based on Love, even though you have spent a lifetime soul-searching, for the right one, and keeping yourself chaste for that purpose?
    These are issues which pop-up for many Muslims on a daily basis; but there is no one there to resolve them, counsel them, or to provide a sense of assurance for them. 
    So how does One heal a 'Broken-Hearted Soul'? Is it even possible?


  21. Like
    Connectors reacted to wmehar2 in Ayatollah reveals Irans crimes against humanity   
    As human beings we should always try to be cognizant/aware of truth and justice, we should always be ready to question even the most trusted, respected authorities as it was said before that we are all infallibles.  Even well intended individuals can be stuck in  bubble with stubbornness, and inadvertently perpetuate instability.
    Shedding our inner preconceived notions are not usually easy when we've already dropped restraints.
    I'm heavily against blindly following anything without first trying to make sense of the matter.
    It's always some tiny matter of a difference of opinion that separates all of us from each other which cascades into monumental obstacle to harmony.  And sadly to say people are often willing to pollute the atmosphere with lies to give momentum to their side,  be it truth or not.
    Even if something sound dubious,  I can't dismiss it.
    Fair trials required,  and all.
  22. Like
    Connectors reacted to certainclarity in what % do you believe in shi'ism?   
    Salam 
    1. Since woman are the secret and treasurer of Allah. That is why woman is called Kaneez of Allah meaning treasurer of Allah. The hijab symobilizes going back to the original state of purity and light.
    2. Wudhu also is symbolic of going back to our state of light , it is like washing away our clay body and exposing our trueself which is of light.
    That is why wudhu is called the nour of a Momin.
    So if you have nail polish on your fingers it will be like your whole body is of light and only your painted nail polish is apparent lol. ( people who are highly attuned can witness this )
    3. The term slavery is used because it was the only term used back then but the definition given to a slave in Islam is similar to that of a current maid or servant who is treated with respect , with helping them in the chores, clothing and feeding them with dignity in Islam.
    The definition of slavery pre Islam was treating them like sub humans .
    Also Quran emphasizes on freeing  of slaves.
    4. The first one who introduced music  and musical instruments  is Iblees. What ever Iblees put his intention on is to obstruct humanity to obey Allah, and to engross them in themselves, either became najis or haram.
    So if musical instruments are haram to create or even buy or sell, it is impossible to create music !
    music creates an impression in our minds that repeat like a cycle with obstructs the mind from Zikr.
    You can't be in the state of Zikr at all time while enjoying and listening to music :
    Quran:
    *SATAN ONLY WANTS* to cause between you animosity and hatred through intoxicants and gambling **AND TO AVERT YOU FROM ZIKR OF Allah AND FROM PRAYER.** So will you not desist? ( 5:91)
    Last not least these are all tests whether we will obey Allah or repeat what Adam and Eve did and follow the foot steps of Iblees. 
    Because if we do what Iblees wants we are taking him as our Lord and doing what he likes.
    If you think of it the tree which Adsm and Eve ate from was neither najis nor contained anything haram in it. It was strictly a simple test whether Adam and Eve will obey or not.
    There is a saying from Iblees where he says I amazed at humans when they say they love Allah but they obey me ! 
    Imagine your self as Adam or Eve , would you disobey Allah and listen to iblees if Allah forbid you to do anything you like ? Or obey Iblees ! This is our test.
     
  23. Like
    Connectors reacted to Purged in Fighting Your Nafis   
    i think you've answered most of your questions yourself. 
    "so many things are occupying my mind right now."
    it's exactly that which triggers chaos of all sorts. been there, done that. not worth it. 
    baby. steps. application of these two words to everything you do and say. a family member said something harsh? baby steps. do not rush to respond. slow er down. breathe. the first few seconds are crucial and seconds is all it takes for negative emotions to subside. always works with me and same formula for anger. 
    God consciousness? remembering death. lazy to wake up for salat? death. don't feel like helping mum with the dishes? death. the idea of death will have you hastening to good deeds like a fruit fly which detects and flies towards sweet food. 
    btw i personally have found anger to be the worst of all vices. truly a gateway to hell.
     
  24. Like
    Connectors reacted to certainclarity in How to develop mental toughness against Society   
    Also take a look at this interesting 8 min clip , all spiritual practices who want to attain high levels do lots of things similar to Muslims .
    This is from a Hindu yogi :
     
  25. Like
    Connectors got a reaction from Fatima NMA in The Search: 2 questions   
    I understand what you are saying, but this has more to do with what Islam says. It's not like I don't want her to look good or that I want to 'control' certain aspects of her life like make up.
    Looking good can be achieved without make up in my opinion.
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