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In the Name of God بسم الله

RevertSister

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About RevertSister

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    Islam

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  1. JazakAllah for your message. I agree, that’s what drives me crazy the most! I don’t see why it’s a problem when me and my husband go out ( without anyone else tagging along! ) ..the fact I do what I do within this household but when MIL feels annoyed with me she backbites and tells family members I’m lazy and don’t do anything and tells my SIL to tell my husband I need to do more! That actually broke me a little as I’ve tried so hard to fit in and make so much effort to get on with everyone yet she makes me feel trapped here! Dislike so much. A family meeting will happen soon to discuss his mu
  2. As salaam alaicum. Thanks for your reply. I agree to an extent as I can never be 100% sure what she truely thinks of me! But she does always have an opinion on things I do eg going out with friends and going to see my family or even when it’s just me and my husband going somewhere! Which is not allowed lol. She interferes way too much and I can’t cope with it anymore, really hope we do live separately! I would of been quite happy living with in laws but MILs behaviour does effect our marriage and also my relationship with her. I’m in 2 minds to tell my family about this but I also don’t want m
  3. Yes before we got married he said he wanted to stay living with his parents so he can look after them and stay as a family. I was fine to compromise with that but you never know how the circumstance is going to be until your in it. Its me my husband mil Fil sil and her daughter. My sil is divorced that’s why her and her daughter live with us. Yeah I can see her saying something along those lines too or something manipulative to make her look like the victim and I’ve done wrong. My fil doesn’t know any of this, he and my mil don’t have the best of relationships they are barely around each other
  4. Yes I agree with you. definitely is a culture clash here and only way I see it being resolved is if me and my husband live separately.
  5. Salaams. Thanks for your reply. I understand what your saying, You say the abuse doesn’t seem to be very bad but its emotional abuse just because she doesn’t hit me doesn’t mean I’m not hurting. Abuse is abuse no matter what level it is. It’s not acceptable and it shouldn’t be compared to other lengths of abuse and be classed as ok. I’ve been living here for 3 years but I don’t feel like its home. I’ve tried my ultimate best to fit in with my in laws and make as much effort with them as possible. My in laws don’t speak much English so there was already a language barrier, I tried my best to co
  6. W.salaam. I’m not quite sure what your implying but are you condoning what my MIL is doing to be ok? I should just accept it? If you had a daughter would you let her be treated like this? Islam says NOTHING about obidenece towards in laws, in fact a daughter in law has no duties towards them at all, her main priority is her husband and that’s it. Besides islamicly we shouldn’t mix culture and religion together!
  7. As salaam alaicum. Thank you so much for your reply! I’m a white British revert الحمد لله been a Muslim since I was 21 got married when I was 23. MIL does cook but I cook just as much and no one else does any of the other chores in the house but I never have complained, until now. I’ve tried so hard to fit in with his family, most of the time they speak Gujarati and not much English. I’ve actually picked it up and understand pretty much everything. My SILs daughter is 5, and yeah she is put with me for me to take care of her and a few times my MIL has shouted at me about taking her out with me
  8. I’ve been married for coming up to 3 years. I live with my MIL & FIL and most the time my SIL & her daughter live here too. I cook dinner every day, sometimes even cook afternoon food too. I’m from a different culture, my in laws are Indian and they eat curry everyday for lunch. I’ve learnt how to cook lots of Indian food! I help out around the house, I do majority of the cleaning every other day eg hoover, keep kitchen clean & the 2 bathrooms once a week. I wash everyone’s clothes every Saturday morning, normally do 3 loads. My SILs daughter is very close to me she always wants me
  9. Indian culture. When you get married that doesn't mean u can no longer have a social life with friends. I don't want a break from my husband at all, I just want some time to myself as I'm continuously around his family. I'm used to having my own space and having time alone and since moving in with in laws I can't get that until night time, or else I will get questioned why I'm upstairs in my room etc. Whenever me and my husband go out we always take his mum with us and his siblings. We don't get much time alone to do things or else his mother will take it bad that she wasn't invited to co
  10. I love this. So true! I'm still going, my husband said I can still go so regardless of what she thinks she has no say in the matter. Mother in law was scolding at me last night and giving me the dirtiest looks and shaking her head. Regardless I'm going and I'm going to have fun
  11. I agree with you. It's a cultural clash we are having and as me and my mother in law can't have a general conversation due to language barrier it makes things harder. But if my husband has said I can go, it has nothing to do with the mother in law. I get my husband has to respect his mum but then how can he let her try to control me like that. It's not the first time I haven't been able to go out because she thinks women aren't supposed to. I'm around his family 24/7 and when I go to see mine it seems like it's an issue. Me having a little break with my friend is harmless we aren't doing anyth
  12. thanks for your message. I get what your saying but it's not her place to be upset with me. If my husband has given me permission she has no say. Also I can not leave without saying so myself to her. I would love to live separate and not share facilities but that will never happen.
  13. I completely understand where your coming from. But I am always around my in laws , always take them out with me and my husband. My husband is busy working , I don't see any harm in having girly time away with a friend. It's good to get your own space and be able to have a social life. If it was really an issue with my husband he would of said no to begin with. Considering my husband said yes and my friends husband said yes I don't see their being an issue. I understand his mum has cultural differences with me but I respect and compromise a lot with his family so I don't see me having some fun
  14. I know you meant no harm I'd love to send it but wouldn't go down well
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