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In the Name of God بسم الله
Answer_seeker reacted to a post in a topic: Husband/Fiance wants to get intimate before wedding 'reception'
We did the nikah so we can freely get in contact with each other instead of the gray haram/halal area and so we can get to know each other better. Adding to that, it's just the way it goes with Arab marriages. There is a couple of months or year or so between the nikah and the wedding party so the couple has time to furniture the house etc. I don't have any doubts actually, I mean that I don't want our marriage to be merely a physical one, but I'd want to develop religious intimacy, intellectual and emotional intimacy too but um afraid with taking this step we would be too focused on just the physical one. Salam, thanks for your reply I just don't understand why I would want to have my father involved. Isn't this more a matter for us to decide, as we're a married couple now? Is this also the case when we're not living in the same house yet and he's not supporting me financialy and doing his 'part' of the things he should do? Thanks for your reply! I'm afraid I gave you the wrong picture of the situation. My husband /fiancee is very understanding and supportive of whatever I choose on this issue and is not pressuring me at all. He's just telling me his opinion and needs and I'm actually very happy we can be honest about this issue. It's just me with the concerns and that's why I wanted to have a second opinion. For your second question please see my answer above I feel sorry for him too. Are you married brother? How would you deal with this and are there any consequences for our spiritual, intellectual and emotional intimacy when we take this step. Are there any cons? Thanks for sharing your story What are your tips and advice for strengthening our spiritual, intellectual and emotional intimacy? What would the disadvantages of physical intimacy be for our spiritual, intellectual and emotional intimacy? What's the best way to talk to my husband /fiancee about this and what are the tips so make the frustration/situation easier to handle for us?
We already have. He's not seeing why we should wait while we can enjoy each other now after waiting all these years, and actually I do see his point. I feel im being selfish when I turn him down as everything is halal, I'm just afraid of the consequences for both our relationship and culturally. Input from married brothers and sisters on how this would/could affect our marriage later on would be very much appreciated.
Salam Alaikum, I had my nikah (Islamic marriage) done a while ago and the wedding ceremony will be in about a year or less. This is mosly the case with Arab families, the nikah first and after a while the actual marriage ceremony (party) etc. I've always had in mind to the have the first time real intimate moment (intercourse) after the actual wedding ceremony, as most girls I know do this and what is expected from our culture and thus families (and I think girls from similar culture too) but my husband/fiancee is saying he doesn't want to wait this long. We are both virgin, both 26, and he's saying its frustrating for him to wait for so long. I have 3 issues with this which i would love to hear the input of the members and especially married brothers and sisters #1 is that im not sure we have the right base as a couple on the intellectual, religious and emotional level. How important is this for a step like this? #2 im really afraid of getting pregnant (even while using whatever contraceptive methods available) in the time being as it will mean that our families and the whole community will know about this. And while it is not haram, as we are husband and wife, its not accepted culturally. #3 What are the pros and cons of starting intimacy before the wedding reception, as it will be in a year or so? The first time is a really big deal and while i feel that im ready my mind is telling me not to as I might regret it later. I hope the story is clear Thanks in advance